Hello
I've never played a soulslike game before but I really want to get into the genre as a few of them look really good. Do you have any recommendations on which is the easiest to get into for a beginner?
Any other advise would be good, I tried the Lies of P demo and barely made it past the first few enemies.
A few games that appeal to me are:

1. Steel Rising,
2. Sekiro,
3. Bloodborne,
4. Hades,
5. Wo Long,
6. Elden Ring

I am looking at two Prii. One is a 2008 for $4400, 195k miles, appears to be in good shape aside from tpms sensor. Doesn’t seem to need anything.
Other option is a dealership that offered $1k, for a 2008 but just got a red service light (triangle) for what they believe is a service hybrid battery light. This one has 198k miles.
My obd2 scanner is not a Bluetooth one compatible with Dr Prius app, but my regular obd2 scanner didn’t pull any codes.
Out of these two options, which do you think would be the better deal? I’ve seen the green bean battery.com website say $1600 for a new battery.
Thoughts?

https://marvelstrikeforce.com/updates/blog-update-6-9-23
WEEKLY BLOG: BIG TIME WEB-SLINGER
JUNE 9, 2023
Greetings Commanders,
Here's your Battle Plan for June 10th through the 16th - all dates are Pacific Time.
June 12th - Family Bedrock - Open Training Orbs and battle in War
June 12th - Classic Rock Web Milestone - Use Power Cores
June 12th - Tough Crowds - Battle with New Warriors in Cosmic Crucible and spend Iso-8 Campaign Energy
June 12th - Isotope-8 Hard Campaign Chapters 1 and 2
June 12th - Valkyrie Blitz
June 12th - Omega Red Legendary Event
June 15th - Thor (Infinity War) character shards and Red Stars available
June 16th at 2:00 PM (PDT) - Mojo's Mayhem new season
June 16th at 2:00 PM (PDT) - Moshpit Madness - Blitz with New Warriors
INFESTATION
Break out the bug repellant, because Helicarriers are about to have a severe bug problem in the form of the new Infestation team! This scrappy black ops squad will specialize in Alliance War Defense and consist of newcomer Spider-Man (Big Time) and S.T.R.I.K.E. veterans Ant-Man, Black Widow, Swarm, and Yellowjacket – all of whom will receive upgrades for their new role. Infestation will be a top Defensive team and bringing anything less than a top Offensive squad like Knowhere will result in your forces getting squashed. So beware, Commander! Let's meet the new face (mask?) of the Infestation team…
SPIDER-MAN (BIG TIME)
After losing his job as a photographer, Peter Parker took on a new role as a research scientist and engineer at Horizon Labs. There, he developed a new Spider-Man suit with upgraded tech, including a green camo mode that made him invisible to visual and audio means and a red anti-sound mode. Spider-Man utilized the updated suit to defeat the Hobgoblin and a new villain named Massacre, who was terrorizing the city.
Spider-Man (Big Time) swings onto the new Infestation team as a big-time Controller with high Health and Focus stats. He's the lynchpin of the team and is extremely powerful on War Defense. When he's with his full Infestation team, Spider-Man (Big Time) gains a Charged, which grants his Ultimate Ability a myriad of battle-changing effects, including applying 2 turns of Disrupted, Trauma, and Blind to all enemies, along with flipping all of their positive effects and stealing up to 2 Ability Energy.
Traits: Hero, City, Tech, Controller, Spider-Verse, Infestation
Speed: 128
Basic - Big Time Thwip
Attack primary target for 340% damage + apply +1 Defense Down, to a maximum of 3.
Bonus Attack for 280% damage + apply an additional +1 Defense Down, up to a maximum of 3.
When forced to attack an Infestation ally, this character deals less damage to Infestation allies.
ISO - 8/Counter Attack/Assists:
When forced to attack an Infestation ally, this character attack that ally for 10% Piercing.
Attack the target for 300% damage + 20% Piercing + apply an additional +1 Defense Down, up to a maximum of 3.
Special - Big Time Beatdown
Energy Cost: 3/3
Gain Anti-Sound Mode and clear Stealth Mode
Clear all Barrier and Revive Once on primary target and another enemy with the highest Speed.
Apply Offense Up for 2 turns and Defense Up for 2 turns to self and all Infestation allies.
This attack is Unavoidable and cannot be blocked.
Ultimate - Arachnid Assault
Energy Cost: 7/7
Gain Stealth Mode and clear Anti-Sound Mode
Attack all enemies for 300% damage.
Flip all positive effects into negative effects on the primary target + apply Disrupted for 2 turns.
Gain 2 Evade.
If Charged:
> Apply Disrupted for 2 turns to all enemies.
> Flip all positive effects into negative effects on all other enemies.
> Apply Trauma for 2 turns to all enemies.
> Apply Blind to 2 enemies with the highest Speed
> Steal up to 2 Ability Energy from every enemy. (This character can only gain a maximum of 2 Ability Energy from this attack).
> Lose 1 Charged.
This attack gains +1,000% Extra Focus, is Unavoidable, and cannot be blocked.
This attack cannot be Assisted.
Passive - Stealth Spider
On Spawn:
> Gain Speed Up.
> Apply Defense Up for 2 turns to self and all Infestation allies.
> On War Defense, if this character has 4 or more Infestation allies, gain Charged. This can only trigger once per War.
> On War Defense, apply Immunity to self and all Infestation allies.
When this character is attacked, fill Speed Bar by 20% for self and all Infestation allies.
When this character or any Infestation ally drops below 50% Max Health:
> Apply Stealth to that character.
> On War Defense, apply Evade to that character.
While in Anti-Sound Mode: Lower the Armor of all enemies by 20%.
While in Stealth Mode: Gain +20% Dodge Chance.
Gain +50% Max Health
Gain +150% Focus.
On War Defense:
> Infestation allies gain +50% Max Health.
> Infestation allies gain +150% Focus.
> All Speed Bar generated by any Controller enemy is reduced by 50%.
ANT-MAN UPDATES
Base stat increases
Health +131%
Damage +98%
Armor +71%
Focus +52%
Resist +68%
Speed +19%
Basic: Scrappy Fighter
Old:
Attack primary target for 300% damage + copy a positive effect from the target to Self + clear the copied effect.
If Wasp is an ally, she also gains the copied effect.
New:
Attack primary target for 340% damage + copy a positive effect from the target to Self + clear the copied effect.
If Wasp is an ally, she also gains the copied effect.
When forced to attack an Infestation ally, this character deals less damage to Infestation allies.
Special: Gum Up the Works
Old:
Attack primary target for 260% damage + apply Ability Block for 2 turns.
Gain an assist from an ally Wasp.
New:
Attack primary target for 260% damage + apply Ability Block for 2 turns.
On War Defense, if Spider-Man (Big Time) is an ally:
> Clear Revive Once from the primary target.
> This attack will also have the additional effects of this character's Ultimate - Stomp, targeting the primary target.
Ultimate: STOMP
Old:
Attack all enemies for 280% damage + apply Slow to primary target. If Wasp is an ally.
If Wasp is an ally, attack all enemies for 280% damage instead + apply Slow for 2 turns to primary target.
Apply Slow to all additional targets.
New:
On War Defense, if Spider-Man (Big Time) is an ally, clear Revive Once from the primary target.
Attack all enemies for 320% damage + apply Slow for 2 turns to primary target.
Apply Slow to all additional enemies.
If Spider-Man (Big Time) is an ally, this attack will also have the additional effects of this character's Special, Gum Up the Works, targeting the primary target.
Passive: Escape Plan
Old:
On Spawn, apply Evade to Wasp if she is an ally.
On non-Pym Tech, Hero ally turn, 20% chance to gain Assist Now.
On turn, 25% chance to gain Evade.
On Pym Tech ally turn, 40% chance to gain Assist Now. If this character does not gain Assist Now, apply Assist Now to Yellowjacket.
In Dark Dimension, on Spawn, apply Evade to self and all Pym Tech allies.
New:
On Spawn, apply Evade to Wasp if she is an ally.
On turn, 25% chance to gain Evade.
On non-Pym Tech or non-Infestation, Hero ally turn, 30% chance to gain Assist Now.
On Infestation or Pym-Tech ally turn, gain Assist Now.
In Dark Dimension, on Spawn, apply Evade to self and all Infestation and Pym Tech allies.
BLACK WIDOW UPDATES
Base Stat Increases
Health +83%
Damage +88%
Armor +34%
Focus +38%
Resist +100%
Basic: Sabotage
Old:
Attack primary target for 300% damage.
During Stealth, copy and clear all positive effects, excluding Taunt, on primary target to self.
New:
Attack primary target for 250% damage.
During Stealth, copy and clear all positive effects, excluding Taunt, on primary target to self.
When forced to attack an Infestation ally, this character deals less damage to Infestation allies.
Special: Camouflage Tech
Old:
Gain Stealth for 2 turns + clear all negative effects from self.
Clear 1 negative effect from Avenger and Skill Military allies.
Apply Speed Up to self and all S.H.I.E.L.D., Avenger, and Skill Military allies for 2 turns.
60% chance to apply Speed Up to all allies for 2 turns.
New:
Gain Stealth for 2 turns + clear all negative effects from self.
Clear 1 negative effect from Avenger, Skill Military, and Infestation allies.
Apply Speed Up to self and all S.H.I.E.L.D., Avenger, Skill Military, and Infestation allies for 2 turns.
60% chance to apply Speed Up to all allies for 2 turns.
Apply Immunity for 2 turns to self and all Infestation allies
Ultimate: Widow's Bite
Old:
Transfer 1 positive effect, excluding Taunt, from primary target to self and all Skill Military allies.
Attack primary target for 290% damage + apply Stun.
60% chance to Chain up to 3 adjacent targets for 220% damage + apply 2 Bleed for 2 turns.
If Hawkeye, Red Guardian, or Yelena are an ally, always Chain to 3 targets + gain 1,000% Extra Focus for this attack.
Counterattack breaks this Chain.
New:
Transfer 1 positive effect, excluding Taunt, from primary target to self and all Skill Military allies.
Attack primary target for 290% damage + apply Stun.
Chain up to 3 adjacent targets for 220% damage + apply 2 Bleed for 2 turns.
On War Defense, if Spider-Man (Big Time) is an ally, this attack will also have the additional effects of this character's Special Camouflage Tech.
This attack cannot be blocked and gains +1000% Extra Focus.
Counterattack breaks this Chain.
Passive: Saboteur
Old:
Gain +15% Speed. This is applied after any character has taken an action.
On self or ally Stealth, apply Offense Up to self and all Skill Military allies + apply Deathproof to all Hawkeye, Yelend, and Red Guardian allies.
On ally Hawkeye, Red Guardian, Yelena, or Infestation ally's turn, gain Assist Now.
New:
Gain +15% Speed. This is applied after any character has taken an action.
On self or ally Stealth, apply Offense Up to self and all Skill Military allies + apply Deathproof to all Hawkeye, Yelend, and Red Guardian allies.
On ally Hawkeye, Red Guardian, Yelena, or Infestation ally's turn, gain Assist Now.
On War Defense, on Spawn, if Spider-Man (Big Time) is an ally, gain Stealth and Speed Up.
SWARM UPDATES
Base Stat Increases
Health +56%
Damage +31%
Armor. Swarm previously had 0 Armor and now has a medium amount of Armor.
Focus +45%
Resist +41%
Basic: Bee Ball
Old:
Attack primary target for 220% damage + 50% Drain.
Rebound Chain to adjacent targets for 180% damage + 50% Drain.
If Charged, lose 1 Charged.
If not Charged, attack self for 300% damage.
Counterattack does not break this Chain.
New:
Attack primary target for 280% damage + 50% Drain.
Rebound Chain to adjacent targets for 240% damage + 50% Drain.
If Charged, lose 1 Charged.
If not Charged, attack self for 300% damage.
Counterattack does not break this Chain.
When forced to attack an Infestation ally, this character deals less damage to Infestation allies.
Special: Bee Scream
Old:
Attack primary target for 250% damage + apply Disrupted.
If the primary target has Disrupted, Bonus Attack for 190% damage + apply Defense Down.
If the primary target has Defense Down, Bonus Attack for 190% damage + apply Slow.
If Charged, lose 1 Charged. If not Charged, attack self for 400% damage.
New:
Attack primary target for 250% damage + apply Disrupted.
Bonus Attack for 190% damage + apply Defense Down.
Bonus Attack for 190% damage + apply Slow.
If Charged, lose 1 Charged. If not Charged, attack self for 400% damage.
On War Defense, if Spider-Man (Big Time) is an ally, this attack will also have the additional effects, without losing an additional Charged, of this character's Ultimate - Bee Gone, targeting the primary target.
Ultimate: Bee Gone
Old:
Attack all enemies for 300% damage + apply 2 Bleed for 2 turns.
If Charged, lose 1 Charged. If not Charged, attack self for 500% damage.
New:
Attack all enemies for 300% damage + apply 2 Bleed for 2 turns.
If Charged, lose 1 Charged. If not Charged, attack self for 500% damage.
This attack will also have the additional effects, without losing an additional Charged, of this character's Special- Bee Scream, targeting the primary target.
Passive: Buzzkill
Old:
On Spawn, gain 4 Charged.
On Turn, if Charged, Heal for 20% of this character's Max Health and flip 2 negative effects to positive effects.
Gain +3% Dodge chance per Charged.
New:
On Spawn, gain 4 Charged.
On Turn, Heal for 20% of this character's Max Health and flip 2 negative effects to positive effects.
Gain +3% Dodge chance per Charged.
Gain +25% Damage
On War Defense, Infestation allies gain +25% Damage
YELLOWJACKET UPDATES
Base Stat Increases
Health +57%
Damage +42%%
Armor +35%
Focus +46%
Resist +54%
Basic: Bio-Energy Blast
Old:
Attack primary target for 250% damage.
Bonus Attack for 230% damage.
New:
Attack primary target for 250% damage.
Bonus Attack for 230% damage.
When forced to attack an Infestation ally, this character deals less damage to Infestation allies.
Special: Spiteful Sting
Old:
Steal 30% Health from primary target and redistribute to self. Receive an additional 4,000 Health. This bypasses Heal Block.
Gain Evade + Regeneration.
In DARK DIMENSION, prolong all positive effects on this character by a duration of 1, up to a maximum of 4.
This attack ignores Deathproof and passives that trigger when a character drops below a certain Health.
New:
Steal 30% Health from primary target and redistribute to self. Receive an additional 4,000 Health. This bypasses Heal Block.
Gain Evade + Regeneration.
In DARK DIMENSION, prolong all positive effects on this character by a duration of 1, up to a maximum of 4.
This attack ignores Deathproof and passives that trigger when a character drops below a certain Health.
On War Defense, if Spider-Man (Big Time) is an ally, this attack will also have the additional effects of this character's Ultimate - Hostile Takeover, targeting the primary target.
Ultimate: Hostile Takeover
Old:
Gain +1 Offense Up, up to a maximum of 3.
Attack primary target for 400% damage + all adjacent targets for 350% damage.
On Kill, apply 2 random positive effects to self and all PYM TECH and VILLAIN TECH allies. Then repeat this attack targeting the most injured enemy.
New:
Gain +1 Offense Up, up to a maximum of 3.
Attack primary target for 400% damage + all adjacent targets for 350% damage.
On Kill, apply 2 random positive effects to self and all PYM TECH and VILLAIN TECH allies. Then repeat this attack targeting the most injured enemy.
On War Defense, if Spider-Man (Big Time) is an ally. this attack will also have the additional effects, without losing an additional Charged, of this character's Special- Spiteful Sting, targeting the primary target.
THOR (INFINITY WAR) STRIKES SOON
Prepare thyself for the glorious arrival of Thor (Infinity War), the Knowhere War Brawler who is poised to hammer down threats in Alliance War. Smite his character shards when they become available on June 15th at 2:00 PM (PDT) in the Axe Wielder Orb for 675 Power Cores, which gives you a chance to earn up to 180 shards for Thor (Infinity War).
Don't forget to check out the special offers in the Supplies Store that contains a ton of Thor (Infinity War) shards and unlock limited-time deals on Gold, Training Modules, and other resources, which become available upon your next login or visit. No matter how you recruit Thor (Infinity War), make sure you open Red Star Orbs starting on his release day, when he'll enter Red Star Orbs with an increased drop rate!
KNOWHERE REQUIRED FOR LEGENDARY CHARACTER
With the first run of the Nova Trials complete, we’re excited to announce that another Legendary character is coming later this year. A five-person Knowhere team (including Nova) will be a required trait to unlock that character, so be sure to participate in all the fun events that reward the team’s character shards.
KORG'S INTERGALACTIC TOUR EVENTS
FAMILY BEDROCK
Fury is calling for more training and an increased presence in War and to do that, S.T.R.I.K.E. is rewarding Commanders who crack open Training Orbs and unleash their Forces in War with the high-profile Ninny Nonny Tribute and plenty of Rock Concert Tickets. Flex your Knowhere team to gain more milestone progress and your efforts will gain powerful resources for roster improvements, including T4 Ability Materials and fragments for the Dark Dimension VI Countdown Orb. Quicksilver is still one the top priorities, so we're rewarding Commanders with 7 Red Stars for Quicksilver, along with T2 Level 5 Ions for the alphas that climb atop a leaderboard. Get ready to make Dad proud with your progress starting June 12th at 2:00 PM (PDT).
CLASSIC ROCK WEB MILESTONE
Cyber support is airdropping Family Bedrock Milestone Point payloads for utilizing your Power Cores during the Family Bedrock Event. Don't forget to log into S.T.R.I.K.E.'s website to claim your points starting June 12th at 2:00 PM (PDT).
MOSHPIT MADNESS
Throw your Roster weight around in the Quick Rumble Blitz ring to stuff your coffers full of Rock Concert Tickets and Orb Fragments for the Mega Orbs and Legacy Orbs. Fury wants more reps for the New Warriors team, so you'll get more points for using them in battle, more so if they're at 5 and 7 Star Ranks. The headbanging begins on June 18th at 2:00 PM (PDT).
TOUGH CROWDS
S.T.R.I.K.E. is ordering a solo mission separate from the Intergalactic Tour that requires the deployment of your New Warriors into Cosmic Crucible and the utilization of your Iso-8 Campaign Energy. Key mission milestones will score payloads of powerful resources like T2 Level 5 Ions, Elite 5 Credits, and Gold Promotion Credits, along with the slick costume for your Doctor Octopus operative. S.T.R.I.K.E. is also raising the stakes by putting new and very rare Skill Gear Tier 18 Mini-Uniques up for grabs in a Leaderboard for top Commanders. This operation kicks off on June 12th at 2:00 PM (PDT), so get ready to move out!
ISOTOPE-8 HARD CAMPAIGN CHAPTERS
Equip your roster with more T2 Iso-8 resources than ever before with the upcoming Isotope-8 Hard Campaign Chapters! Get your hands on T2 Crystals and T2 Level 1 Ions for roster upgrades starting on June 12th at 2:00 PM (PDT). Keep an eye out for Hard Campaign Chapters 1 and 2, and start fortifying your roster with T2 Iso-8!
CHARACTER AVAILABILITY
Skip the dark magic and opt for character shards to power up Agatha Harkness when she heads into Cosmic Crucible Store in the near future. She'll have a chance to appear alongside other characters in the Elite Crucible Credit Slots, so keep an eye out for her appearance.
PRIDE BORDERS CLARIFICATION
We’ve seen some questions regarding the long-term availability of the Pride Borders. To clarify, the Pride Borders will only be available to claim from the Inbox in the month of June, but they'll remain in your inventory indefinitely for you to use.
FRIDAY FREE CLAIM
Bring the milestone house down for Korg's Intergalactic Tour with Concert Tickets, fetch more rewards with To Infinity Event Campaign Energy, and power up your Knowhere team with this Free Claim that's available until June 10th at 2:00 PM (PDT):
6,000 Rock Concert Tickets
40 To Infinity Energy
5 Star-Lord (Annihilation) character shards
Until next time…
Good luck, Commanders!
**Please note that the information in this blog is subject to change before going live in the game.**

And I miss a friend of mine. Or an ex friend? I'm not really sure.
His name is Chris. I met him a few years ago when he applied to work at the restaurant I managed. Like, the literal moment we met, we clicked. Same dark humor, same LGBT-forward identity, similar childhood baggage, and we just connected. I've only ever clicked like that with literally one other person in my entire life. And she's my hecking soulmate.
Chris was never my soulmate. Obviously. But we were tight. We tried new things together. Worked together. Hung out. Supported one another. He helped me figure out shit with my fiance when I was contemplating ending things. I helped him leave an abusive partner. We cooked and planned and got fucked up and laughed and loved and it was genuinely the best part of living in Kansas. STG.
I mean. It wasn't all sunshine and lollypops. Truth. We had some disagreements. I phrased things terribly a few times telling him to be tough in situations. He occasionally disregarded my feelings for his own. Both totally normal fuckups. Anf no relationship is perfect. It's hard being besties when one of you manages the other. And in effect, that started the downfall of our relationship. We made it work so unreasonably well.
In the end, I felt taken advantage of by Chris. I lost my job because of his ex and the shit that cunt started with my work and fiance. We had to relocate to a new state.l, and had bought a house and everything. And I still have a lot of anger about it. (Not just with Chris, my fiance made things so so much worse, dumbass.) But then things started spiralling. I took a lower paying job at the same time my fiance was laid off, and the struggle to make ends meet was real. I even got a second job to make it work. And shit with Chris kept piling on. He talked for ages about moving to thw same town as us while he and his husband made their way to their dream location. And I looked for apartments and jobs for him and promised to help with the move. And I thought that was all good. But he literally got an offer from an ex of his to move in with them instead, and just decided that that would be the move instead. Still expected me to help with moving and costs. Never asked, just expected.
Typing that out seems shitty. And selfish. And I am, I admit. But I was so heartbroken that we had been making these plans for a YEAR and he literally bailed the second he got another offer. That is what it felt like to me.
Besides that there was the money. At the job Chris and I worked, I made good money. Especially for the Midwest. In losing that job and taking a new one, I took a 40%cut in pay. I made ot work. Problem was, in my previous role, I was flush with cash and happy to splurge on my friends. Hell Chris's entire move and first month's rent came from me, as a gift to my friend. I spotted him money all the time, paid for groceries, movies were always on me. To such a point I think it became the norm, and defined our relationship. Because even when I was making WAY less money, Chris still expected the status quo. Constantly 'subtly' telling me he needed money for smoke, or hinting about how he had nothing to spend on his spouse for an anniversary gift. And I fucking encouraged it. I have something so fucked up in my brain that I NEED people to like me, even if it means trampling all over myself to achieve that delusion. I want to believe people love me, but I cannot reconcile it with how much I hate myself, and it leads to this shit. Every time.
Sorry for whining. Anyways.
It came to a head when we took a couples trip together. My and my partner, Chris and his. We booked a weekend in a city to see a comedian we loved and just have fun. I paid for accommodations and the comedian, I had gotten them nearly a year prior when money was no issue. And I offered to pay for the drinks and snacks at the vomedy club, since I already had a deposit down that was only partially refundable. We used it up. But through the entire trip, he expected more. I had to buy things at the mall, while shopping. And I should have said no. But I was so blinded by the joy I felt seeing my best dude for the first time in months, I just ignored it. Ignored me.
It came to a head on the last night of the vacay. We wnet out for a sushi dinner at Chris's behest, and I assumed we were all taking care of ourselves. Apparently not. Chris's partner got nauseous before the food arrived, and he left me to take care of the bill while he took care of the hubby. They ordered so much expensive shit, it was 100 buck extra onto the bill. And THEN driving home he asked if they could use some of my foodstamps to get some groceries . I get a generous supplement, so I said sure. He then proceeded to spend 250 bucks on all kinds of fancy shit. Porterhouse steaks, 13 buck lemon juice, etc. And watching it ring up, all I could feel was anger. My fiance and I needed that money to get by, and here it was being used for luxuries for someone who makes more money than I do.
Oh yeah, I forgot context. Since my new job, Chris makes more, and works less hours, than I do. We have similar expenses (he a car payment, I a mortgage). He had also had all utilities and rent taken care of for 1 year because of a program we got him in to help abused partners leaving bad relationships. So I am not fucking around when I say his financial situation has the potential to be miles better than mine.
So. Yeah. That's it. I messaged him about a month after the vacay to ask for the money for the sushi dinner back, since I had no gas money and was struggling. He literally told me he would 'try' to throw me something when he had money, but not right now.
And I just fuckint snapped. I never needed people in my life. Was a loser as a kid, a freak now, and I do okay with just myself and Youtube and Reddit and my kitties. I'm bad at peopleand don't try to make a lot of bonds. I'm fine on my own, always have been. Lucas and Mandi are my everything.
But I really thought this one was something. I love him so much, I miss him like crazy. I cared about him so much, and considered him like a bro, a bestie, all of the good things. I LOVED him. And in the end I was worth less than a fucking sushi dinner. (I get a 100 bucks is a lot. Hence why I wanted the money back, because it was a lot for me.) Anf he blew me off. And when I told him what I was feeling and that I wanted a break, he just tried to guilt trip me about how he's such a terrible person, and that's why everyone ghosted him before. I blocked him after that.
I've been watching ENCANTO and it's making me miss him so, so much. This was a movie we really bonded over. Quoted and sang all the time.
And I miss him.
Chris, since you found this account (thanks Chey and Wood, I sincerely hope you get hit by a bus), I recognize there is a chance you will read this. I miss you so much, and I want so bad for things to be as they were. But I don't trust you. And I don't forgive you right now. Don't know if I ever will, for how you treated me and made me feel. I've been used by people before. For money, connections, sexual gratification . . . I'm not someone people consider and want to keep around, ya know? I have friends generally by the grace if what I can provide. Mandi is the only person who has never, never not once taken advantage of me. Never. She's for real. You used me over and over and couldn't even pretend to care about making it right when I pleaded with you.
I am so, so, SO done begging people to think of me. Asking to be treated like a human fucking bejng as if it is such a task. I'm tired of it. I would rather spend my life in this ache of the void of your friendship than go back to being valued because I'm too fucking pathetic to say no to paying for everything. Or being the emotional punching bag when you and your husband get upset I suggest income alternatives since you were supposedly desperate for any cash and your partner can't work. I'm so sick of trying to give, hoping it will leave me with some sense of purpose or value. I have no purpose and no value, and you helped me see that very clearly, if even one of my best friends can't treat me like he cares in my hour of need.
I don't know what is going to happen next. I wish you well in your lifeand I hope with time comes maturity, and with that consideration, introspection, and reflection of who you are, and who you want to be.
I'm just going to keep trying to justify staying alive on this over-heated planet in this Conservative state with a lit of people who care about me almost as little as I care about myself.
I don't know what this was supposed to be. I don't feel any better.
I'm going to bed.

I love him to death and I would go to the ends of the Earth for him, but as of lately I just feel so exhausted. We started off rocky with a period of about a year, he would randomly go days on end without communicating with me. We went to the same college and lived in the same town, but he would just disappear. Then it came to a point that he didn’t talk to me for a whole week and I never got any type of explanation from him through any of these. I was really hurt by it because I never understood, so one morning I packed all of his stuff that I had and dropped it at his door. I didn’t hear from him until midnight and I forgot how it all went down to detail, but I got promised to not be ghosted again and was given a promise ring that I’ve worn everyday since.
After that came another isssue and it still is a big one as of today. We were going to the beach one day and we had taken a bunch of photos on the way so I was looking at them, I saw a photo of a women bare breasted. I immediately had a cold wave wash over me and I started shaking, he explained to me that one of his friends sent it and he never deleted it. Didn’t ever say anything about it again, moving forward we have issues with him liking other girls post. I know it’s a controversial thing but early on in the relationship, I stopped being friends with all of my guy friends because he felt uncomfortable. I probated all of my social medias and deleted all the guys. Yes, I did that on my own and no he did not ask or hint to it. I made that choice. His excuse every time I brought it up was it didn’t mean anything and I’ll just delete my account. Moving forward no changes, we move in together but the apartment is in my name. At this point I’m paying most of the bills and groceries. I found out he was texting his ex that he was talking to again before we started dating. I read through the messages in front of him and he had at one point when SHE asked about me, that he wasn’t happy with me because I was cold and not understanding of him. I asked him why he felt that way and what it was that I was doing that came across as such. I told him I’ve never intended to be that way. He never explained to me and I can only recall when we were in heated arguments that I had even been slightly mean like calling him a d-head. Later on down the road through my year long lease, we kept arguing about the stuff on his phone. I know that’s a controversial subject because it is his privacy and property. I saw such much in his phone that I still see at night, like the naked girls and sex videos on pornhub and Reddit. The Instagram and Snapchat comments on other girls post. They all bothered me and it never mattered if I screamed, cried, wrote in a letter or talked to him calmly and explained why it hurt me. He still continued to do it, I don’t care if he does now, because it’s his business and I don’t own him. Which brings me to now my biggest problem. Throughout all of this he hasn’t always given me a lot of attention or time, he doesn’t really take me out anymore or give me a lot of compliments, he’s never posted on social media about me without me begging him to. As of the last 8 months we rent a house together and split the bills. We have three dogs together and he works in new construction plumbing while I work from home. I try to achieve a neat and tidy home, along with coffee, breakfast and lunch packed for him. Most nights I cook dinner and clean afterwards. He helps sometimes on his own and other times if I ask he gets annoyed. We don’t really talk much because he’s always gaming or I’m tending to the dogs, work or something with the house. Neither one of us hangout with friends so we’re always around one another. We have pretty good sex but not very often as of late. And we constantly argue. It starts off with me begging him to give me attention, then I get upset and he gets upset. Then we end up not talking to each other for hours or the rest of the night. He’s not a bad boyfriend and we still have good times. I love him and who he is. I want to be with him, but I feel sad most days. I don’t ever really feel beautiful and I feel more like an annoyance if I’m around him. My weights fluctuated throughout our relationship and I’m currently at my heaviest. I’ve never seen what he’s been attracted to but I’ve always appreciated the fact that he was. I feel like I lucked out with him and I can’t fathom my life without him. I’m at a point now that I don’t want to leave him but I want change. We’ve had so many conversations about my boundaries or what hurts me and I feel like I’m the problem. I’m not sure how to fix it though or what truly is wrong with me.

Toxic Rats: DJ, Scott, Trent, Sammy, Sierra
Mutant Maggots: Anne Maria, Molly, Scarlett, Geoff
Episode 08: The Treasure Island of Dr. McLean
"Last time, on Total Drama Revenge of the Island!" The recap montage opened with several RCMP helicopters flying around before cutting to the Mutant Maggots entering the mining elevator. "The players went on an impromptu to environmental coveru-uh, clean-up challenge," Sammy, DJ, and Sierra were shown running down a mineshaft, then Scott and Trent tripped on a rail, "and tried not to get a toxic make-over like everything down there." Geoff was shown struggling with Molly, both looking sickly, and a few shots followed of various mutant gophers running and squealing.
"Max came back to the island," the host continued over clips of the super villain revealing herself to Scarlett, "and E-Clone wasn't far behind," the alien was shown tackling DJ, "and after overcoming his germ phobia," Chris said as Dave was shown hitting the gopher and saving his teammates, "he voluntarily took the old heave-ho," the normal guy was shown getting hurled.
"Makes you wanna reflect, don't it?" Chris asked as the last clips finished up. "Maybe...with a cup of Chris McLean Instant Coffee," he said as the scene cut to him standing on the docks holding a mug with his face on the side. He took a sip, his eyes went wide, and he spat it out. "Bitter...better!" he quickly corrected with a forced smile. "Better than the rest." He dumped the mug out into the lake, and a fish promptly surfaced where the drink had landed and vomited in disgust.
Chris held his awkward smile for a second before regaining his composure and walking to the side. "Who will survive? Who will wish they didn't? Find out right now, on Total! Drama! Revenge, of the Island!"
XXXXX
The episode opened to a shot of the sun rising over the lake, a few seagulls calling in the distance. The camera slowly cut from close-up to close-up of the sleeping campers – Sammy and DJ, Trent, Sierra, and Scott, Scarlett and Geoff, and Molly and Anne Maria. All nine of them were sleeping on wooden rafts in their usual clothes, until the shot cut to an alarm clock tied to a buoy with large acoustic horns next to the bell. The hands struck approximately 7 o'clock, and a loud ringing sang through the morning air.
DJ bolted awake with a gasping start, and so did the others a few seconds later.
"What? Where are we?" Anne Maria asked in confusion, the camera cutting outward to show the two rafts floating next to each other and the buoy-alarm amid a mass of debris mostly consisting of wood, furniture, and waste barrels. Each raft had a signpost with their respective team logo on it – the Rats on the left; the Maggots on the right.
"No!" Sammy griped, the camera coming out even further. "Chris must've set us adrift after we went to sleep!"
"Yeah," Scott said as the camera moved behind him and Sammy, showing the island of Wawanakwa off in the distance. "Wait, I don't remember anything after dinner."
Scarlett's eyes widened in realization. "Dinner! Of course!"
\
The footage flashed to a close-up of a meal tray, held by Scarlett as she collected her dinner. The meal was a slimy pile of spaghetti, tomato sauce, butt-shaped meatballs, and feathers, plopped down onto the tray without ceremony.
The shot zoomed out to show her eyeing Chef with mild disgust.
"Turkey buttolini," Chef explained with a grin. "Enjoy your na~ap!" he said before realizing his slip-up. "Err, meal..."
Scarlett just pursed her lips at the man as he laughed darkly to himself.
\
The scene flashed back to the Maggots. "Turkey makes you woozy, so mutant turkey can easily knock us all out," Scarlett deduced.
The focus moved to Trent, still sleeping peacefully on the raft.
"He can't be sleeping forever," Scott said as the camera moved to show him looking down on his teammate. "Come on! Get up!" he said as he bent down and picked Trent up.
Trent opened his eyes. "How did we even get here?" he asked before smiling at Scott. "Hey Scott."
Confessional: Trent
"Scott's really cool. I think we made a great connection these past few days. Either way, it'll be hard for me to vote anyone off the team," Trent said.
Confessional: Scott
"Trent makes me feel weird, and it feels good. I like the feeling, but it's distracting. I have to get rid of it somehow," Scott said.
Confessionals End
The scene cut back to the Mutant Maggots on their raft.
"I'm never gonna eat turkey again!" Geoff said to Anne Maria. "That food can knock you out!"
"Not as much as I'm gonna knock Chef out for serving us this," Anne Maria replied back.
"Take it easy. We're still alive and all," Geoff calmed her down.
Anne Maria took in a deep breath. "Alright, but I'm avoiding breakfast until further notice."
The shot cut over to Scarlett, who was pulling Molly aside. The indie chick raised an eyebrow and the quiet brainiac leaned in close and whispered "Have you noticed how close Anne Maria is getting with Geoff ever since he switched to our team?"
"I'd have to be blind to not notice," Molly remarked.
"With that as the matter of hand, I'd suggest us joining forces if they'll be cooped up with one another," Scarlett said.
Molly raised her eyebrow. "Even so, we have four members on the team after Dave's elimination last episode."
"I know that, and we'd have to convince them to vote individually for both of us," Scarlett strategized. "That way, we can easily target one of them."
"I do work alone, but I also want to save my butt from being eliminated," Molly said back. "You've got a deal."
Confessional: Molly
"Scarlett's not exactly my go-to as an ally, but given we're both closed off, and I don't have Dave to talk to anymore, we might as well stick together," Molly accepted.
Confessional: Scarlett
"We're nearing the merge, and that means I must analyze the remaining contestants and see their strengths and weaknesses," Scarlett smiled in satisfaction.
"Trent and DJ are major physical and social threats. The sooner they are eliminated, the better. Sierra and Scott are wild cards, though I sense Scott has more intelligence."
"Sammy and Geoff are fit and in good shape, but I'll save them for later as they can't outscore me in intelligence. And as for Anne Maria and Molly, they're average in every single way. Going up against them in the finale will be beneficial to winning," the brainiac finished proudly.
Confessional Ends
The static cut away to a shot of the rafts from a perspective a little higher, a little further away, and at a right angle to where the camera had been before. The roar of engines and the honk of a horn heralded the arrival of Chris and Chef from the right, the two men riding jet skis and wearing life jackets.
"Morning, suckers!" Chris greeted with an exuberant grin. "How'd you enjoy your turkey buttolini?"
"I've eaten better," Sierra said, irritated. "It tasted good and didn't knock people out cold enough for you to kidnap them."
"I'm sure you have," Chris replied teasingly.
"And what's with all the kidnappings?" Sierra continued. "You can simply ask us to meet you someplace like a normal person, not lock us in extremely cold trucks or do this."
"Because," Chris answered, "that wouldn't be good for ratings. As Total Drama's biggest fan, I thought you'd already know that?"
Sierra narrowed her eyes at the host.
Confessional: Sierra
Sierra was shown to be feeling furious. "Okay, mom? I know how hard it is to end a crush, but he's a total jerkface! When I come home, the Chris McLean museum/guest room better be destroyed!" the uberfan hissed lowly.
Confessional Ends
Chris regained his usual demeanor, "First thing's first: If any of you are still trying to find that McLean Brand Invincibility Sculpture I hid at the beginning of the season," he announced, taking out a photograph of the head in question, "you can stop now. Somebody's already found it," he said, dropping the picture into the lake.
The contestants were all upset and angry about the news. "And speaking of digging things up, today's challenge is all about winning the ultimate reward: Life, itself!" His tone became deeper and more dramatic as he made his declaration. "Your first challenge is to race to the shore, by any means possible." The camera panned over to the island in the distance. "First team there wins a handy reward. Last team gets a heinous penalty, before you embark on a quest for buried treasure."
"You're using us to dig up buried treasure?" Trent asked. "That's just weak."
"There was treasure here once, but I found it years ago," Chris emphasized. "How do you think I bought the island?"
"It must've been a small treasure," Trent mumbled to himself.
"I thought it was through all your movies and songs you put out before becoming a host, and I own a hundred of them," Sierra smirked.
Chris' brow shot up in shock, and Chef snickered behind him. "Just get moving already!" the host demanded, backing up his jetski then speeding away with Chef.
"I thought Sierra liked Chris, but now she's insulting him?" Sammy asked DJ.
"She must've seen how rotten he is both on the inside and outside," DJ quipped.
Confessional: Sammy
"Mocking someone who's the host of the show is definitely a risky move," Sammy admitted. "Sierra will be lucky if she doesn't get disqualified."
Confessional Ends
"Are you all just gonna stand there or are you gonna come help me pry this off?" Anne Maria asked, the shot cutting to her trying to break the rigid signpost.
"What? Oh, yeah. Sorry, Anne Maria," Geoff said, quickly turning around and moving to help her with Scarlett and Molly following right behind. All of them grabbed on to the sign and pulled, and after a moment of effort, the post snapped at the bottom.
"I use poles for canoeing back home," Molly said as she held the broken sign, "but we can use this to paddle to shore."
"I'll do the paddling, girls," Geoff volunteered, taking the broken sign from her. "I can kick this raft into high gear!"
"Be sure to take caution while you do so," Scarlett said. "There are sharks in the water."
The focus shifted over to the Rats, who were watching their rivals. "We have to do what they're doing," Sammy suggested.
Sierra put one hand on the top of their sign, bending it slightly, then snapped it with a swift kick.
"That was excessive, but we can row now," DJ said as he took the sign.
Confessional: Trent
"Using that sign will be much better than using my guitar as a paddle," Trent said. "It wouldn't flow well in water."
Confessional Ends
The focus cut back to the Maggots and it heralded the start of challenge music, and Geoff began to row with his sign-paddle. "We need to put some distance between us and the Rats!" Scarlett ordered. "Stroke like you mean it!"
The camera cut outward, revealing that DJ's own paddling was keeping the Rats about neck-and-neck with the Maggots, and the shot focused in on them. "Not to be a downer, but we need more than just DJ on this," Trent said.
"If we want to catch up, we'll have to get in the water and kick," Sierra realized.
"No way!" Scott protested. "Remember the shark?" He got shoved into the water courtesy of Sierra.
"The faster we get to shore, the faster we won't be eaten," Trent said, walking to the back of the raft and jumping into the lake. Sammy and Sierra then dived in as well.
"Fine," Scott gave in and pushed the raft with the other three.
\
The scene cut to the Maggots, Anne Maria and Molly and Scarlett standing near the back of their raft as Geoff continued to paddle them forward. A whoop of excitement caught their attention, and the shot zoomed out to show the Rats' raft moving ahead quickly in the foreground.
"That's it," Molly said in an upset tone. "We need to paddle and push the raft at the same time."
"Into the water!" Scarlett immediately commanded and dived into the lake alongside Molly while Anne Maria lingered with Geoff. "You too, Anne Maria."
"You know," Anne Maria said, "Geoff should be in the back with you guys. His legs are better suited for kicking."
The shot cut to Geoff as he paused his paddling. "My calves are toned now that you mention it."
"I'll agree to this, but you have to be the one that paddles now," Scarlett told Anne Maria.
Geoff handed Anne Maria the sign post and dived in shortly after and the camera lingered on Anne Maria paddling the raft.
Confessional: Geoff
"I do a lot of leg exercises, and my legs never let down if I need them for a race or for swimming," Geoff summarized.
Confessional Ends
"Keep kicking your feet and we'll be on shore!" DJ told his team, but stopped abruptly along with his team's raft as it smacked into something that sounded pink and fleshy. He looked warily ahead, the camera panning on to his reflection in the massive yellow eye of a truly gigantic octopus that was resting just below the surface with only the top of its head in view.
It shuddered, then bellowed deeply and angrily and lifted its tentacles out of the water. DJ and his teammates screamed in terror.
The shot cut to the sky above, where Chris and Chef were watching the challenge unfold in their helicopter. "Awww, it's playing with them," the host laughed.
\
The focus moved back to the Rats, all five now on the raft with Sierra holding their sign post and DJ being held captive in one of the octopus's many tentacles. The shot cut to Sierra as she screamed "Let go of my teammate!" and swung at the tentacle several times, only to repeatedly hit DJ in the face.
The camera focused on the captive brickhouse, and his face looked more bruised with each whack. "You're hitting me!" DJ wailed with every whack.
"Giant squid dead ahead!" Anne Maria yelled as the focus cut over to the Maggots' raft floating a little ways away.
"Keep it down," Scarlett hissed, her eyes still locked forward. "We should be able to sneak by it if it's focused on the Rats."
"You might want to look behind you," Molly fearfully pointed at a circling shark fin.
The shark circled around to the front and jumped onto the raft, revealing itself as Fang. As the mutant grinned menacingly at Anne Maria, she held up her sign-paddle in front of her.
The camera briefly cut to Geoff frozen in fear, and when Fang jumped into the water, he screamed and swam around the raft in a circle screaming "Shark! Shark!"
"This is just going to get us killed!" Molly hissed.
As this went on, Anne Maria became frustrated. She held the sign above her head and slammed it down on Fang, causing the shark to be sent flying off-screen.
"Thanks for the save," Geoff said as he got back on the raft.
"Now you owe me twice for saving you twice," Anne Maria replied.
Confessional: Anne Maria
"Technically, I didn't make the gopher go away, but I prevented it from attacking Geoff, so I'd consider that a save," Anne Maria prided.
Confessional Ends
The shot cut to the Rats, all of them being held captive by the octopus. Then, to the shock of the team, Fang flew into the octopus's eye. It shuddered and bellowed in pain, then dropped its captives into the water as Fang sank down.
The camera panned right to show the Rats resurfacing away from the octopus.
"Let's get out of here while we still can!" Sammy shouted, diving into the water with Trent following shortly after.
"Hurry!" Trent shouted as he and Sammy hastily swam off towards the right, with Scott, Sierra, and DJ quickly joining them.
\
The scene flashed back to the Maggots, all of them now on the raft.
"Okay," Molly whispered back to her teammates, "I think we're clear now."
Their raft promptly rammed into something. She turned around, and yelped as the shot zoomed out to reveal the angered giant octopus surfacing in front of them.
"That doesn't look clear," Anne Maria told her fearfully as they scrambled to the back of the raft.
"Now how are we going to escape this?" Scarlett griped.
Geoff was lost in thought until an idea came to his head. "Wait a minute! I have an idea! Get as far back as you can!"
Geoff made his way to the squid and faced him. "I bet you can't even smash us with your jelly fins, Octo-Guy!" the party boy mocked and grinned at the octopus.
The octopus raised a tentacle high and curled it almost into a fist while Geoff's teammates gasped and spoke in fear at the same time.
The curled-up tentacle suddenly sprouted several large spikes, and the three Maggots at the back of the raft screamed...
And then the footage and music ground to a halt, a 'pause' symbol appearing over the slightly-faded scene. "Will Geoff's shouting outsmart the octopus's punching?" Chris asked, standing up in front of the paused screen wearing a hat shaped like an octopus head and tentacles. "And what's up with Sierra? Find out, after the break," he finished, crossing his arms coolly.
\
(Commercial Break)
\

For sale, for Steam gift cards (or gifted Steam Wallet balance):
​

• Dark Souls™: Prepare To Die™ Edition (removed from Steam Store; $350 $400 or best offer)
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• Humble Hunie Sakura Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Australia Fire Relief Bundle or similar))
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For trade:
*tentatively up for trade, assuming I buy the bundle
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• LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 1-4
• LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 5-7
• STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®
• Bionic Commando
• Full Metal Furies
• Ultra Street Fighter® IV
• Starbound
• Mafia III: Sign of the Times
• Outlast 2
• BioShock 2
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Sherlock Holmes: The Devil's Daughter
• The Mean Greens - Plastic Warfare
• Crusaders of the Lost Idols Legendary Starter Pack
• Project CARS (removed from Steam Store)

​
WANT:
​

• 5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel
• A Hat in Time
• Avernum: Escape from the Pit
• Bendy and the Ink Machine
• CrossCode
• Dead Rising 4
• Dungreed
• Mortal Kombat Komplete Edition
• NBA 2K Playgrounds 2
• NECROPOLIS: BRUTAL EDITION
• Omensight: Definitive Edition
• Submerged
• Tower Unite
• Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap
• Zombie Army 4: Dead War

​
IGS Rep Page: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ti26nz/mizznos_igs_rep_page/

Cover Art <<Previous Start Next >>
Mordecai had always enjoyed designing bosses, once he was experienced to think beyond their potential as defenses. That first group of explorers had taught him how to consider combat as a dangerous game instead of as just conquest or killing. A young dungeon’s instincts were not always kind in this regard before they have some exposure to others. Especially when they first realize that killing intruders gave them a lot of energy, and that the dungeon could ‘eat’ people to become stronger.
Fortunately, there were many other options. While a group that turns around early because they are intimidated provides little mana, defeating them soundly without actually killing them provides lots of energy, if still less than killing them. But two drawn-out explorations provide more energy than a single quick defeat of a group, and that process could repeat more often as well. The dungeons that couldn’t learn to moderate themselves could become dangerously greedy when not enough people came to them.
Not a problem they would be facing, so Mordecai shook off his reminiscing and focused on the task at hand. He knew he wanted a fungal boss, but it was hard to make a fast mushroom creature, especially when it was large. A creature rooted in place was generally very easy to target from afar, but while part of his mind had been wandering, another part had been chewing on the issue, and he had found a solution.
After all, a fungus’s true body was usually hidden. So the first stage of building this boss was to make another large cavern, about a third the size of the main one. Then he sunk the floor well below the entrance, and filled in most of the gap with a room-wide mycelium, mixed with loose earth and then topped with another foot of soil to appear like mostly normal if slightly soft ground. It would be difficult for most groups to completely kill something like this, so while this was the base life form for the boss, he was going to create a few stages, with normal victory being after Stage 1.
His next step was a bit of preparation work, he needed to make the entire organism immune to acid. There was a price to pay, a limit to how much power could be wrapped into a fifth-floor boss, and so he paid it in the form of a balancing weakness. Fungi tend to already dislike fire and cold, so this would be weaker than usual to both. Oh, Mordecai could have made it immune without balancing it out, but then he wouldn’t have been able to make it as strong in other ways.
Filling in the room with look-alike sprouting bodies was going to both hide and be a clue as to the true nature of the boss. They weren’t the same sorts of mushrooms as filled the main cavern, they were extensions of the boss’s true body below the surface, but it would take a keen eye to tell the difference.
Time for the showstopper, the visible main body of the boss. It was going to be clearly a mushroom, though not like any mushroom that could ever normally develop. Its total height was 20 feet tall, but the first ‘cap’ was at 10 feet, spreading out a wide canopy from which tendrils could snap out at prey. Just above that cap was a ring of branching stalks that ended in tightly packed balls that could be launched at nearby enemies, though not at those below the cap of course.
Above that was a double ring of thinner branching stalks, tilted slightly upward, and they ended in the explosive, venom-laced darts he’d developed previously. They couldn’t be aimed below the cap or even nearby, but had a much larger range.
And finally, the topper of this strange mushroom monstrosity was a delicate-looking bell-like cap, from which rained a gentle, steady dusting of debilitating spores. The spores trickled from the small cap and rolled over the stalks and cap below, meaning that some would also get caught in the darts and nets as well.
But he wasn’t quite done yet. The tendrils for his boss were not going to whip around like the other mushrooms, they were going to be directed and grab at foes, to bring the victim towards the maw. Well, one of them. Mordecai gave the main stalk of his boss three distorted, toothy maws, with more rows of hard fungal teeth inside. There was no throat or stomach, it was simply designed to keep chewing on anything it shoved into its mouth until nothing was left.
But for all of its fearsomeness, this mushroom tree was relatively fragile, and none of its borrowed attacks were as potent as the original, despite the increased range of some of them. Most bosses would be much tougher. That would not be quite the end of a fight however, for immediately after defeating the first stalk, another would spawn from the ground below, and after that a third and final stalk would form. Hmm. Might be good to give a small clue here. Ah, that would be easy. In the center of the ceiling Mordecai grew four red crystals, three of them in a triangle with a dark red glow. The fourth sat in the center unlit. Each time a stalk went down, one of the red crystals would turn a brightly-hued blue. When all three turned blue, the boss would be ‘dead’, the forest would go quiescent, and the doorway out would open, ending stage 1 and technically entering stage 2. Usually. Unless the second boss was active of course, in which case the fourth crystal would light up red as well, and stage 1 didn’t end until it was defeated too.
As frenetic and emotionally charged as this fight would feel, a team that could make it to this room shouldn’t have much trouble. It was high tension, but if one handled it correctly it wasn’t actually hard. Treat it like a boss fight, throw around fire spells or alchemical bombs or what have you, and it would be a short, fast-paced fight. The boss trees would want to spawn near the group, after all, you only had to hunt down the first one.
Which meant that it came with a penalty for people who were badly behaved. There was enough information in the way everything acted for someone to figure out that the ‘real’ boss was below. The forest would only be quiet and still until the group had moved on, then would slowly restore its boss trees. But if someone realized that the real body of the boss was below and decided to try and ‘finish the job’ or any such foolishness, inflicting enough damage to the mycelium would stir it back into activity and switch the boss fight into stage 3. The full tree wouldn’t respawn, but the seemingly ‘normal’ mushroom trees would become more active and directed, and the mycelium mat could animate and shuffle itself about, drawing its deadlier trees towards its attackers even as its rippling surface did its best to knock people off of their feat.
As one would have to go out of their way to activate this mode and the first stage was easier than it seemed, the total difficulty and toughness of the boss was significantly higher than it would be otherwise if someone did activate stage 3. Mordecai paused a moment and ran a couple of scenarios in his head, then shrugged at the results. He’d tried out the idea of deliberately activating stage 3 early if hostiles managed to get here, and the simulation didn’t run properly. He thought he might be able to make the transition more sensitive, but the invading party would still have to do some significant damage to the base mycelium.
Well, nothing for it, he’d already committed to it, the energy for this creature already tied to one of the boss nodes for the floor. Mordecai finalized his creation with a name. “I name you Sarcomaag.” And with that it was done, everything sealed. He could feel a mind stirring in the depths of the fungal mass, and it was quite different from most. Slower in some ways given how far it was spread out, but also deeper. He checked its aura and found it to still only have a spirit instead of a soul, but the mind inside was awakening at its own pace, and he could see the first signs of that denser, more complicated knot of energy forming. He expected Sarcomaag to have a fully functioning soul before long, especially as he could feel the first hints of curiosity. Hmm.
Oh. That was going to make things interesting. Whoops.
“Whoops?” Came Kazue’s query on the heels of that thought.
“Erm, I think I got ahead of myself with Sarcomaag here. I mean, what I designed is perfectly fine for a fifth-floor boss. But I didn’t place any proper growth restrictions on them either.” That was embarrassing, and the sort of thing that he should know better than to do. Maybe he was getting too comfortable and ambitious with designing complicated bosses, even with two brains it was hard to keep track of all the little things that had to be tuned correctly.
“Which means what my darling?”
When had Kazue learned to do the sweetly dangerous tone? It was cute, but Mordecai kept that thought to himself. “It’ll be slow, but Sarcomaag is going to spread, and they’ve already started to instinctively try to grow along and inside of the living crystal layer. The fact that some of its fruiting bodies already use living crystal makes it easier. So, well, I’m not entirely certain. They won’t do anything to harm the dungeon of course, and it shouldn’t make much difference to anything. But I also wouldn’t be surprised to find small mushrooms cropping up in places it wants to ‘see’ what is going on.” Its senses were different, but would be as good as vision for most purposes, and better for a few.
“Um, is that okay? I mean, we have rules about what can be where, doesn’t that kind of break them?” Kazue sounded worried, and he couldn’t blame her.
“I don’t think it’ll be a problem? Sarcomaag shouldn’t be able to act on the upper floors, though maybe they can on the lower floors as we grow.” Mordecai didn’t think that the fungal boss was going to default into one of the future raid boss nodes, but he was considering assigning it one anyway. “Well, we can discuss it with them when they wake up. Just don’t expect it to be a fast conversation, their mind works rather differently.”
“Alright. I guess we’ll wait and see. So, what did you have in mind for the second boss?”
Mordecai smiled. “Something much more straightforward love. Though I think most people will prefer to face Sarcomaag.”
<<Previous Start Next >>
My Discord if you would like to talk about the book or see what else I am up to.
My Patreon if you want to support me directly.
Also to be found on Royal Road.
$3 Patreon: Early chapters, lore excerpts $5 Patreon: Short Stories $10 Patreon: New stories not published anywhere else (Until after I finish this story at least)

from fastapi import FastAPI from google_adapter import GoogleAdapter app = FastAPI() @app.get('/configs/{name}') def get_config(name: str): return GoogleAdapter.get_config(name) 

from google.oauth2.service_account import Credentials import gspread import os import utils CREDENTIALS_FILE_LOCAL_PATH = "/reddit-server-credentials.json" SCOPES = [ 'https://www.googleapis.com/auth/spreadsheets', 'https://www.googleapis.com/auth/drive' ] class GoogleAdapter: adapter = None is_valid = False @staticmethod def get_config(name: str): if GoogleAdapter.adapter is None or not GoogleAdapter.is_valid: GoogleAdapter.adapter = GoogleAdapter.create_adapter() try: name = name.capitalize() sheet = GoogleAdapter.adapter.open(name) except Exception as e: GoogleAdapter.invalidate_adapter() raise ValueError(f"Cannot open '{name}' sheet, '{str(e)}'") try: values = sheet.sheet1.get_all_values() except Exception as e: GoogleAdapter.invalidate_adapter() raise ValueError(f"Cannot retrieve values from sheet1 in '{name}'") return utils.to_json(values) @staticmethod def create_adapter(): credentials_path = os.path.dirname(__file__) + CREDENTIALS_FILE_LOCAL_PATH if not os.path.exists(credentials_path): raise ValueError(f"Credentials file not found") credentials = Credentials.from_service_account_file( credentials_path, scopes=SCOPES ) google_connection = gspread.authorize(credentials) if google_connection is not None: GoogleAdapter.is_valid = True return google_connection @staticmethod def invalidate_adapter(): GoogleAdapter.is_valid = False 

import json def to_json(response): # Extract the column names columns = response[0] # Extract the values values = response[1:] # Create a dictionary with the columns and values result = {'columns': columns, 'values': values} # Convert the dictionary to JSON json_result = json.dumps(result) result_without_slashes = json.loads(json_result) return result_without_slashes 

First
Capes and Conundrums
Pavel stretches in the stillness. The tapping of the keyboard and swearing under the breath makes Pavel consider his new partner a bit. Silicon Blake has an interesting background. Pavel made a point of looking into it. The man was... genetically human, currently. But he had been born of a brain scan of a Tret man. Sionis Blake. The man’s father. Legally.
Silicon had made the jump from a fully synthetic body to a human clone body with dataports about two weeks ago. Freshly after his training as an Undaunted. Legally he was considered to still be both a Tret and a synthetic. But for all practical purposes, he was a human cyborg.
One who wasn’t used to the sheer requirements of his body. Pavel suspected a good chunk of his bad attitude was the fact the man was only eating once a day and only small portions.
The morning shift started shortly after breakfast and went right to lunch. So when Pavel went for lunch, he went alone at first before doubling back.
“Hey, we’re supposed to be together. Like it or not you’re coming with me to the mess hall.” Pavel says and the man groans in frustration and closes his computer.
“Fine, but I’m taking my damn work with me.” Silicon states as he stands.
“Fair enough.” Pavel states and the walk goes in silence. There’s a small, out of the way table near the edge of things and Silicon starts working again, only to be interrupted when Pavel comes back with two trays. “You’re not eating enough.”
“What? The hell is going on?” Silicon demands as Pavel forces him to take the laptop off the table and puts a tray full of food down in front of him.
“I looked up your medical profile...”
“Why?”
“Because humans can eat what other beings consider biohazards, and if we were going to have forced contact I didn’t want to accidentally kill you with onion breath. Which is something that can make a Feli very sick and cause a standard Tret to vomit.” Pavel explains.
“Okay...”
“However, I noted that you volunteered for the Endurance Program. An initiative to give other races more staying power akin to humans.”
“Yes, and it’s worked very well. I’ve nearly doubled my productivity.” Silicon says and Pavel nods.
“It did, however, you’re not feeding yourself enough. Your breakfast is big enough, for a breakfast. You need Lunch and Dinner too.”
“What?” Silicon demands.
“To put it in mechanical terms, you’re operating on emergency power. This cripples many major systems. You need to fuel up more consistently.” Pavel states before pointing to the loaded plate. “What I grabbed you is called a ham and cheese sandwich. To it’s side is kettle chips with sea salt, opposite is a garden salad and the cup of brown substance is a dessert called chocolate pudding. It’s a small lunch, but a decent one. Consider this the minimal intake.”
He then pulls out a pair of large water bottles and places them on the table. “You also need to hydrate more. Water is converted into the lubricant of your physicality and without it the whole system will fail.”
As Pavel had been speaking Silicon had pulled out a bioscanner and gone over everything before pausing on the salad. “Why is there an acid here?”
“You’ve got stronger stuff in your stomach. Turn that scanner on yourself.” Pavel says dismissively as he grabs his larger and much more loaded sandwich off his own plate. Three types of meat, hot mustard, lettuce of some kind and tomato with swiss cheese. Good stuff.
“Look, if this is some kind of ill conceived peace offering...”
“Peace nothing, you’re hangry half the time. Humans get aggressive in times of desperation. Basic instinct. You have that instinct now so even if you aren’t consciously looking for a fight, you’re ready to haul off on someone because you need food.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. Now eat for god’s sake.”
“I’ve had breakfast. Two of those pancakes, a fruit cup and a glass of water. That’s plenty.”
“Nowhere near enough for breakfast. Let alone breakfast for someone in a high stress job. Besides, breakfast in only one of three meals.” Pavel counters and Silicon glares at him. “Seriously eat, it will help.”
Silicon gives him an odd look before grabbing his sandwich and taking a bite out of it. Pavel concentrates on eating his own much larger meal and he finishes within ten minutes. The spice in the mustard forced him to slow a little and he sits back to watch as Silicon goes at the pudding cup. For what the man claimed of not needing the food he outright inhaled it.
“So?” Pavel asks as Silicon finishes up taking a swig of his water. “Feel better?”
“... yes.” Silicon admits with his eyes screwed shut in frustration. “... I just thought it was Apex aggression not...”
“Hunger and desperation? You need thousands of calories a day. Also, don’t forget to use the bathroom when you need it. Our digestive tracts are powerful but not perfect. You will need to let it out.”
“really? You’re telling me to excrete? How simple do you think I am?” Silicon asks tartly.
“I think that you’re used to living in a body that required only energy and only have memories of a body that needed very little in the form of physical nourishment. So I’m not making any assumptions and telling you everything.” Pavel says as he finishes off his own water. “Now, I’ve got something to do. Our lunch break ends in a half hour and I’ll see you back at the test chamber for the remainder of that shift. Then we’re moving onto mine. I hope you’re ready to play spotter.”
“Oh goody. Using chemically propelled murder tools to NOT actually kill.”
“You have a problem with your orders?” Pavel asks him and he sighs.
“No. I’ll see you in a half hour.” Silicon says and Pavel nods before taking his own tray, then grabbing Silicon’s depleted one and taking them both out. “... Damnit, I hadn’t thought that humans would require so much damn food. I’m pulling in Axiom to feed, so why aren’t I being sustained?”
•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•
And it was back to the programming. Silicon was working faster and actually humming to himself a bit so that seemed alright. But not ideal. Pavel was really starting to get bored though. After yesterday’s test of things the drones had not been reactivated as Silicon seemed to be of the belief that things were a purely programming issue. If they were great, the problem is that there was no way of telling if things were just a programming issue or something mechanical.
Pavel pulls out his communicator and brings up the specs of the drones. They were basic, off the shelf prosthetic bodies designed to be piloted by a person, but a program in it’s place instead. They had been reinforced and upgraded a few times, but none of it seemed too egregious.
Similar codes and programming had been used in travelling shows and other such bits of entertainment to serve in the role that a minimum wage worker would slowly have their soul worn away doing. The repetitive, thankless tasks that need to be done over and over and over again.
Providing a low level opponent to be beaten in a fistfight or outsmarted by someone sneaking around shouldn’t be too hard. A videogame AI could get the behaviours down and then it was controlling the body.
Which was where Silicon and several other people were stuck. There was something wrong with their sense of balance and often they struggled to stay standing at all. All of them. Despite the code.
“If it was a gun I’d be checking it for cracks.” Pavel mutters to himself.
“What was that?” Silicon asks looking up from his laptop.
“All the drones are failing in the same way. You think it’s coding but... if it was a gun I’d be checking for structural damage.”
“These aren’t guns.”
“But both are machines. I think the hardware should be tested a bit. The coding has a lot of eyes on it. But the hardware?’
“The hardware was bought from a reputable source and passed their safety inspections.”
“Safety means that my necklace breaks if someone tries to strangle me with it.” Pavel says and Silicon pauses and looks up at him. Opens his mouth to say something then reconsiders and giving the nearest drone a look.
“Grab a toolkit. We’re taking it apart.” He says as he closes the laptop.
It takes five minutes to carefully take apart the chest of the drone and start examining the internal components.
“Here. These little gyroscopes are all over the place in the drone to give it a kinesthetic location sense. If you’re mentally linked to it then you can feel the direction of down from both gravity and the internal scope.” Silicon explains and Pavel gives one a tap. It does not move. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“Is this jammed?” Pavel asks as he pokes it again before reaching in with his fingers and feels... “There are metal filings in here. A dirty production line?”
When he removes his finger from thy gyroscope it moves easily in response. He brushes out a few shavings and Silicon is muttering something foul under his breath as he tests the other gyroscopes. One in every five of them are jammed in someway and after they clear out the chest they put the plating back on and move to the other limbs.
The pattern holds. One stuck internal gyroscope in every batch of five. It takes a full hour to clean out them all and give the internals of the drone some extra cleaning. It’s sealed back up again and Pavel is tightening the last screw as Silicon is tapping away at his laptop again.
“Okay! Take a step back. Let’s see if that helped.”
“If nothing else it’ll fail faster with it knowing which way to fall.” Pavel notes as he steps away and the drone activates. It sits upright the same as it could before and then turns over and stands upright. There was markedly less wobble this time and Silicon sends a command. It snaps it’s arms out and begins to turn.”
“Hey! That did it... shit. We need to clean out all the drones.” Silicon curses.
“We report this in and get fifty other guys to help, this is not a two man mission.” Pavel says wryly. “Not to mention the quartermaster is going to be looking to kill someone for having shit product forced on us. They do not take this shit lying down.”
“The sale’s rep will either be looking for a new job or finding a new fetish by the time those monsters are done with her.” Silicon notes. “Hey, think you’re ready to test it for fighting ability?”
“Sure thing.” Pavel says closing up the toolbox and then sliding it away with a foot. “Send it.”
“Alright, let’s test it’s tracking and offence. I need to dodge the attacks and move around the drone. Get it to follow you.” Silicon says sending the command and the Drone suddenly snaps it’s head towards Pavel and then turns as one. “That was a little stiff, I’m going to have to iron things out a little...”
The drone opens with an attempted haymaker and Pavel hops to the side and keeps going until he’s standing behind the drone. It follows him the whole time and then tries a cross. He fades back and takes a few steps away and it keeps pace as best it can.
As the drone goes for a grab he uses Axiom to leap clean over it and land on the other side then weaves to the side to avoid the snap kick as the logic tree self updates and the drone gets a fraction better at fighting.
“There we go! Living code! Finally!” Silicon cheers! “Start deflecting it’s attacks. Block and parry, I need to see how it responds to that.”
“Sure thing.” Pavel says and he swats away the next attempted haymaker.
“Interesting, okay, it’s correlating with that code chunk...” Silicon says as Pavel blocks two jabs boxer style and prevents it from grabbing onto him. “Hey that’s weird! Can you hit it back? Don’t break it or nothing, but see how it responds...”
“This good?” Pavel asks as he palm thrusts it in the middle of the chest and Silicon lets out a confused sound. The drone stumbles back in response to the light blow and regains it balance.
“Well how the hell did that happen? Do it again!” Silicon says as he squints at his screen.
Pavel rushes the drone and then gives it another, slightly firmer, smack in the middle of the chest. Silicon swears under his breath.
“This is weird! Alright, I’m deactivating the drone. Can you drop it off in it’s charging port?”
“Easy enough.” Pavel says as he catches the suddenly powered off robot and hefts it over his shoulder. It slots into it’s place easily and he walks over to where Silicon is squinting at the screen. “So what’s it look like?”
“There was a weird bit of...” Silicon says before looking up at Pavel. “Right, okay, basically every step of the program is like a huge tree right? You start at the tip and by evaluating a situation you go down one of the branches. Basically it’s like a plan flowchart, is this happening? If yes, go this way, if no then go down to the next question. A computer’s processing speed lets it go through this fast so it can keep up with reality.”
“But only if you’ve got enough questions for all the things that happen.”
“Right, well that’s where the Virtual Intelligence comes in. Where it compares situations and while likely not understanding them, it does know how to mimic them. This is where you get things like chat-bots or a video game enemy that seems to learn. It’s almost learning, but it’s not. Not really. That’s what we’re trying to get to, and we have the start of it.”
“Did something go weird?”
“I’m not sure yet? I think... maybe yes? Maybe no?” Silicon says as he turns the laptop to let Pavel see the lines up on lines of code. “This is literally the drone’s brain here. The thing is about an evolving program is that it can cause itself to bloat. That was the issue I was having yesterday and still today. Although it’s not as big as it was yesterday now that we know there’s hardware problems too. We put a lot of code into making these things balance and now that we’ve solved the problem... how much of that can be taken out and how much has to be left in is going to be the work of weeks.”
“Ah got it.”
“You do?”
“I’m a sniper. I have to focus on not only aiming for the target, but I have to accommodate for the wind drag at different temperatures and humidity levels, particles in the air like ash or dust, the gravity of the world I’m on, the movement of the target and the things around them. To say nothing of the make of the weapon firing the bullet and the make of the bullet itself. It’s very much a science.” Pavel says pulling out his little book and handing it to Silicon.
The formally synthetic man looks through the small black book and sees rows upon rows of calculations without any answers written he lets out a little hum before closing it and handing it back.
“I think I understand. Still. There’s more to do... and not much more time to do it. This shift is about to end.”
“It is. Which means it’s time for you to see all that dread math in motion.”
“Oh no! Not the dread math!” Silicon’s sarcasm could peel paint.
​
First Last

Okay. My birthday is next month and I am saving up for a PC. I need to spend at little as possible since my country is in an economical crisis rn and everything is like double the price (im not even sure if i will be able to have a PC this year).
I want to learn how to code and I want to learn how to make models using blockbench and blender. ( I have tried blockbench before, but haven't tried blender). I also play easy to run games (ROBLOX, Minecraft, maybe gonna get FIFA 2023 and Fortnite too and I think I'm gonna install rocket league again cause why not?
So, I looked at some proccessors and parts and I'm gonna go with Ryzen since I don't think I'll get a graphics card and to my knowledge Ryzen APUs perform much better than Intel ones do.
Some processors I've considered are the Ryzen 3 2200g, Ryzen 3 3200g and the Ryzen 5 5600g (tell me if there's anything else that is not so expensive). I think it's pretty clear I'm going for a super budget budget budget PC (so pls no recommendations for any RX 6600XT or any graphics card) The ram is gonna be dual channel (2×8 3200Mhz)
Rest of the parts you guys help me pick the cheapest and most price to performance parts. (I want some RGB fans but not ones that are expensive) (If any of those processors come with a CPU cooler I'm not gonna buy a new CPU cooler)
If I hopefully manage to get a PC I'll post an update as soon as possible. (Bday on 17th July) (Sorry if my English wasn't good I'm not a native speaker, and sorry if my text spacing thingy format is bad I'm on mobile).

{THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THE FOLLOWING: Existential dread, emotional moments, romance, and a singular phrase which could be seen as suggestive depending on how dirty your mind is. ;) }
(Any sentences or phrases wrapped with brackets "[ ]" are designated as inner monologue!)
Thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for creating this wonderful literary universe!
< First Previous Next >
Memory transcription subject: James Willik, Human Historian
Date [standardized human time]: July 15, 2165
“Umm. Sooo, isn’t the universe only around 14 billion years old?”
“You would be correct.” The scientist’s expression showed that he was as dumbfounded as I was. “I should add that the highest number that any of our new dating devices can go is to around 20 billion, it is entirely possible that the artifact could be even older than we can detect.”
[What the fuck.]
A shrill voice from my left shook me out of my stupor. I looked to my side to see Lemva standing out of her seat, her tail lashing angrily. “Is this some elaborate joke? That isn’t possible. What you’re saying isn’t possible.” President Zhao began to speak. “I am fully aware how frankly nonsensical this is sounding, but this is serious and we need to approach this with an open mind. The Federation rated this item as a danger to the entire galaxy for a reason. We have no idea what we’re dealing with here and with something that could pose this much danger that is not acceptable.” Lemva suddenly spat with a ferocity I haven’t heard in a long time. Her anger frightened me not just because of her abnormal behavior and proximity, but also because of the recipient of her anger.
“You are aware that what you’re saying undermines everything we know about existence, right? Are you aware of that? Do you have any idea how INSANE this is sounding? You’re telling us, US, a couple of unqualified nobody misfit historians, that we’re somehow prophesied by this magical indestructible artifact that existed before time to do… something? AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT SOMETHING IS?! You just expect us to take this sitting down? Uh-uh, no, I’m not accepting this.” I tapped the table gently to get her attention, she snapped one of her orange eyes at me in response, I could barely get out what I was going to say in fear of her. “Maybe we shouldn’t yell at President Zhao?” I squeaked my suggestion at her. She just smoldered at me.
Lemva quickly pushed her chair backward and power-walked through the doors of the conference room, the force from her slamming the door rattled its hinges. I sometimes forget how strong she is, perks of evolving on such a high gravity planet I suppose. I glance at my remaining two partners and they are just as shaken as me. We all slowly look back at Zhao in fear of his response to Lemva’s attitude. Zhao still looked calm, so that’s good, but his posture indicated exhaustion.
“You three can leave for now, I’ll schedule another meeting for tomorrow once she’s settled down. If you could talk to her, that would be greatly appreciated.” Zhao started to rise from his seat but paused momentarily. “Oh I forgot to mention, you’ve been granted access to the guest residence wing. Lars, hand them their cards please.” A large man walked around and passed us our cards, handing me a second one presumably for Lemva. “The suite’s code on the tram is S29. You’re dismissed.”
Cayek, Tassak, and I quickly hurried out of the room to catch up with the furious venlil. Thankfully she hadn’t gone far, and was just waiting at the tram. We approached her quietly, none of us having the courage to start a conversation. She barely acknowledged us as we drew closer. I steeled myself to initiate contact but to my surprise she decided to do it first. “We’re leaving. Fuck this, they expect us to just accept that everything we know is wrong? They can take their invitations and shove them up their asses.” I gathered the courage to respond to her.
“I’ve never seen you this angry before. Talk to me.” She sighed, seeming to deflate as she did. Most of her anger melted off of her and left defeat in its place. “I need some time, I don’t have the energy right now.” “Alright, that’s ok. Before we left the conference room, we were handed keycards to the suite. Zhao said that we could stay there for a while.
Lemva looked up at my face with an eye. The happy glint she usually carried in her eyes was replaced with a dull feeling of hopelessness. “Okay.” I gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She answered my request to hug her before I had even asked. She buried the side of her head into my chest. We sat there for a few seconds, and it felt good, but all good things had to come to an end eventually. I silently guided her into the tram, Cayek and Tassak following close behind. The doors closed and I typed in the code for our suite, S29. The tram took off and winded through a maze of hidden tunnels before arriving at our destination.
Exiting the tram, we came to a closed set of heavy fake wooden doors with a keycard reader to the side. I swiped my card and the hidden locks on the doors clicked several times, before the doors swung open. [Wow. This is a really nice room.]
I guided Lemva onto a nearby sofa and marched into the gargantuan kitchen provided to us in order to prepare some coffee for her. As I waited for the coffee machine to finish, I saw Cayek and Tassak exploring their new surroundings. Cayek walked around and admired the luxurious artistry that permeated the space, while Tassak… Tassak poked at various objects as if she had never seen them before. She reminded me of a curious child. She accidentally tore a hole in a chair with her claw before hastily trying to hide the damage with a very obviously out of place pillow.
The coffee machine sputtered the last few drops of liquid ambrosia into Lemva’s mug and I hurried over to where she was sitting. I placed the warm cup into her paws and sat beside her. For several minutes we watched some TV on the large screen across from us. Lemva leaned more into my shoulder the longer we sat there. Tassak and Cayek had gone to their rooms by now. After watching 8 episodes of the ninety-seventh season of The Simpsons, she had calmed down.
I looked down at her. “Are you ready to talk now?” She nodded. “Mhm.” “Ok, do you wanna tell me why you got so angry during the conference?” She frowned slightly. “Everything they were saying… the artifact, I just…” She stopped for a moment to gather her words. “If what they said was true, and the artifact is from before the universe, and it depicts us… that implies so much. If what they said is true, then whoever made the artifact could see the future. If they could see the future, that means fate exists. If fate exists, then that means that everything I’ve ever done, everything that we’ve ever done, was meaningless. I mean, all my struggles, all my successes, for no reason.” She looked up at me and I could tell she could see my confusion.
“If you were playing a game, and every action you took did absolutely nothing to change the end result, but the whole time you thought that they did, wouldn’t it hurt to realize in the middle of a round that your input is entirely meaningless and changes nothing? But then, if you look at it another way, there’s the idea that you’re not even really alive, that you’re just a machine going through the motions. The idea that everything you were, are, and will be, every action you take, every thought you think, every emotion you feel is just a set of directions and ideas set to play out for the rest of eternity, that you’re just a couple words on a page to be read…”
I had no idea how to respond to that. I was never all too good at imagining such high-brow philosophical concepts, and I’ve always been even worse at handling the emotions of others, so wrap the two up into a depressing little veggie wrap and you’ve got me stumped. I did the only thing I could think to do at that moment. I wrapped my arms around her and placed my chin on her forehead. She snuggled into my body. I hadn’t felt this much comfort for a long, long time.
“Y’know… after I dropped contact those few years ago, I always wanted to send you a message, tell you I miss you, tell you why I stopped contacting, those sorts of things. But I never did. Because I was afraid.” I lifted my chin off Lemva’s head and she looked up at my face. I stared down back at her. “What were you afraid of?” She asked me in a soft voice. “Lots of things. I was afraid of explaining what happened, the “incident” was too recent to talk about. I was afraid that you’d hate me for disappearing, and the fear only got worse the longer time went. But mostly…” I inhaled sharply as I prepared myself. “I was afraid you’d betray me.” Lemva’s eyes held a puzzled and pained expression.
“I didn’t tell you who killed my parents, only that someone did. Soon after I was born, my father went into the venlil exchange program and met a venlil named Draton. They became friends almost immediately, or at least, Draton pretended to become friends.” Malice filled my voice as I talked about the scum who murdered my family. “I loved him growing up, almost as much as my parents, for a while he was like, my third favorite person in the world. He was like an uncle to me and a sibling to my parents.” I gulped and looked away. “Hopefully it should be obvious what I’m saying he did.” I took a shuddering breath and looked deep into Lemva’s eyes. “I was terrified that another loved one would turn out to be a monster. I was terrified that you would turn out to be a monster.”
I closed my eyes and mustered all the courage I could manage and called upon every deity from every religion I could remember or had even heard of in passing. I opened my eyes and placed my hands gently on the sides of Lemva’s head. She didn’t resist. “Alright… this is my greatest secret yet. I’ve been so scared to tell you but I can’t keep holding it in anymore, I need you to know.” Lemva held her breath.
“I love you Lemva, I’ve loved you since we first hung out in history club, I loved you when you cheered and hopped around at our graduation, I loved you when you talked so enthusiastically about your job. I always have, and I always will, love you.” I could feel my face burning as blood rushed through my cheeks. Lemva had it even worse though, her face was more orange than the fruit the color was named after. Her eyes were so wide I could barely see her irises anymore.
Tears formed in her eyes, but I could tell right away that these weren’t tears of sadness. The goofiest and cutest smile I had ever seen in my life quickly formed on her little face. She squeaked at me in delight. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.” She reached up, grabbed my hands, and squeezed them tight. I could feel her tail wrap around my back, a gentle force guided me closer to her. “You sure you wanna do this?”
“I’ve been around humans all my life, I know what a kiss is, dummy.” She whispered amusedly. We closed our eyes and embraced for the first time. All my worries, fears, and doubts melted away and drained off of my mind like meltwater off a cliff as we sat there basking in each other’s warmth.
We separated our faces and stared at each other. The happy glint in her beautiful orange eyes had returned brighter than I had ever seen it before. We sat staring for what seemed like forever, I had forgotten that a world existed beyond this sofa. I looked up at an antique clock mounted on the wall and waited a moment as my implant translated the extraterrestrial time-keeping system into a familiar 12-hour format. 8PM. Almost as if in response to my realization of the time, a wave of exhaustion crashed into me like a rogue space freighter. I wanted so desperately to stay here cuddled with Lemva for the rest of my life, but alas, sleep deprivation is a cruel mistress.
“Lem, it’s 8pm, we gotta get some sleep if we’re gonna attend the conference tomorrow.” “Awww, a couple more minutes? Pleeeeeeeease?” “I know this is really comfy and I know you don’t wanna think about ‘the object’ but we’ve got to do it.” I could tell she was still uncomfortable thinking about the implication that even the mention of the artifact carried with it, and we still would need to talk that through, but for now at least, she wasn’t having an existential crisis.
We untangled ourselves, rose off the sofa, and headed toward our rooms. But Lemva suddenly halted in the middle of the hallway. I spun around to see why she stopped. She looked down at the ground and rubbed her paws together like she does when she’s nervous, her face was an almost neon orange, miraculously managing to be even more vibrant than before. She wore a bashful smile on her face. “Is something wrong?” “no… I was just wondering, could I sleep in your room for tonight?” “Sure. Why, is there something wrong?”
“No… there’s just… something I’ve been wanting to try…”
“Wha- oh.”
“Oh.”
< First Previous Next >
(I think I've got a hang of the reddit formatting now. However, advice and critiques of the way the story is told are still very welcome.)

This is my first time reading {Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Mass}. I know NOTHING about what happens in this book. I haven’t even read the blurb.
This is me just writing down thoughts as I read, so some of them will undoubtedly be wrong in the end. I try not to go back and change anything I speculated or ranted about later, because that would be cheating. Also, there will surely be typos, especially with the weird names.
As a caveat: I bought the series as a bundle on Amazon, so my Kindle edition is one BIG book. It is 4855 pages long. That means my page numbers will not line up with the regular editions of the book. Still, I’ll include my page number to give a sense of where I am in the story.
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Spoilers Abound!
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Page 842 Are we going to spend this whole book in this other land, without our two boyfriends? Because, I’m not up for 300 pages of pining for Choal. On the other hand, maybe someone more interesting will arrive now.
Page 851 A tattooed fae warrior guy has arrived. Things are already looking up!
Page 854 Ugh! Choal is whining about Archer’s death and how Dorian is possibly in danger from Celeana and his loyalty to Evil King Guy, again. Like, I just want the hero focused on the heroine’s safety and goals more…? I guess he IS moving back to his evil dad’s land, to help her, though. Maybe I just enjoy bad guy types, rather than do-gooder types in my romance books. Maybe that’s why I can’t get into him as our endgame hero, yet.
Page 876 I think Wolf Warrior guy just pushed Dorian into the rose bushes to get his blood to look for magic. Or maybe he just likes picking on Dorian for the hell of it.
Page 878 Ooooo, Dorian’s got a healer girl crushing on him. A new romance must be starting, because we’ve switched to her POV and she’s all gushy about his handsomeness. This makes me happy! I like him better than Chaol.
Page 895 Hmmm… I think tattooed fae guy is Celaena’s cousin. Also, Wolf Warrior guy is her cousin. It seems like she’s related to all the new hot characters. Doesn’t bode well for a charismatic new leading man sweeping her off her feet.
Page 897 I am unclear how the witch clans fit into everything here. Why are we suddenly following them?
Page 897 Thinking about it… I do like that this book seems to be expanding the world and giving us more characters and settings. I am more invested in this story, now. So, it’s GOOD the witch is here, I guess.
Page 903 Oh, the witches are going to fly the dragon things being raised in the secret mountain pass. Gotcha.
Page 919 I like how all the witches are panicky and curious about who killed the super old carnival Yellow-Legs and why she was targeted. And Celaena only spur-of-the-moment killed her to hide Dorian’s dumb fortune-telling question. Did she even know the witch’s name? The randomness of it amuses me.
Page 970 Chaol’s been kidnapped… again.
Page 974- Wolf Warrior guy isn’t evil. I suspected he wasn’t, because Adeion seems likable and crafty. Most of the bad guys so far are smelly morons. And WHY is he named Adeion , when Celeanda’s fairy-name is Aelin? The names are SO CLOSE, when I’m reading fast. It gets me confused.
Page 974: Also, guy with two swords working with the rebels seems cool. He has a scar and two swords. That’s really all I need to be intrigued.
Page 974 Also, what the fuck Choal! Don’t tell people Celaena’s the lost princess! You’re going to get her killed, dumbass!
Page 976 Who is Ren, again? The two-swords guy? A lot of stuff seems to be happening, now with the rebels. It might have been better to do this scene from Chaol’s POV, because then I would be learning it all along with him, instead of jumping into Adeion’s head. He already knows what’s going on and now I have to catch up.
Page 955 I like Rowan and Celeana’s storyline best in this book. I like how he’s got this idea of her as useless and weak. But she’s going to show him he’s wrong sooner or later (I assume) and then, in my head, he’s going to be super impressed with her. Also, he’s not really her cousin. If he works at it, he could be the Rhysard of this series. But he probably won’t be, because I’m not great at picking leading men in a TV, book, movie series.
Page 1009 I love the witch storyline! I didn’t except that. Manon has chosen the beat up, bait wyvern and I am literally smiling. I was so sad it was being eaten alive, but now it’s got a devoted owner. It’s like a little rescue-dragon from the pound.
Page 1018 Kings don’t “hand out mind-controlling jewelry unless they want absolute dominion.” Hahahah. Adeion’s funny. I like him.
Page 1021 So many names and so much backstory! The Rebels and the Terrasen stuff is confusing to me, so far. Kudos to Adeion for being so loyal to his cousin, though. I have cousins. They would all fuck me over in a heartbeat to seize control of a kingdom. He’s never even met adult Celeana and he’s all in on her as queen. See why I like him?
Page 1024 Okay, I think I get the shift in my thinking w/t the series. I was okay with books 1 and 2, but book 3 is really hitting all the right notes with me. I feel like this one is more adult and that’s why I love it. The others had more of a YA feel. The story is now bigger and the characters are more complex. It’s like the men have arrived and before I had boys.
Page 1063 I think Eldie, the other magical, Terrasen noble girl, is alive. We’ve mentioned her a couple times now. Maybe she can date Adeion. He needs a girlfriend. (Or boyfriend. He could also date Ren.)
Page 1085 That little dragon and Manon are flying together and eating flowers. We could just switch it up and make this their book series and I’d be okay with it, now. Axi-whatever-his-name-is the most adorable little terror-monster, ever!
Page 1090 The half-fae are telling stories about Maeve. I don’t like it when someone is telling a story within a book. It’s usually blocks of text and blocks of text are hard for me to read. I skim.
Page 1140- There is another kingdom called “The Wastes” now. I feel like I was supposed to know that already, but I don’t. Jesus. I hope there’s not a test on the lore of this series, because I would fail it.
Page 1143 I love that plucky little dragon guy! Now he’s taking out evil spiders. He and Manon are my forever-ship. I am so worried, because the witches are bad guy, though. So, what if he’s hurt somehow? I would be seriously scarred by that. Not kidding.
Page 1155: Uh-oh. Dorian and healer girl are happy. Having sexy times. Not involved in any major storyline. This isn’t looking good for them. Current prediction: Healer girl is dead real soon
Page 1158: Dorian is telling Choal that he can’t pick and choose which pieces of people to love. That is really good advice. Choal will probably not listen.
Page 1207: Now I feel like Choal is NOT the endgame love interest. Because, Celeana is talking about how she is a different person these days than she was with him, blah, blah.
Page 1207 But I’m not sure Rowan is endgame either, although he and Celeana are getting closer, because the book keeps telling me there is nothing sexual going on between them. Also, it would be kind of sad for him being an immortal guy and her not being immortal. He wouldn’t want to lose another mate. I’m torn.
Page 1264: I do not trust Lady Marion. Is she still alive? Don’t remember. But I’m reading Celaena’s memories and I just vibe that she’s bad, because why else is she introduced?
Pge 1270 Whoops! Called that one wrong. Lady Marion just died in the memory, saving Celaena. Sorry Marion. I misjudged you.
Page 1283- It is now 5:54 am. I am reading and eating Frosted Flakes on my sofa. Not so unusual for breakfast… Except, it’s not breakfast. I haven’t gone to bed, yet. I’ve been up all night, reading this damn book.
Page 1306- King Evil Guy’s plan reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Lisa says to Bart, “Even if the Three Stodges did come back to life, what makes you think they’d want to hang out with you?” I mean, sure you can invite incorporeal monsters from other dimensions into your kingdom, but do you really think they’ll let it remain YOUR kingdom for long? Even as zombies? And who even WANTS to rule over a kingdom of zombies? Like, think it through, dumbass.
Page 1329- Manon is not THAT bad. She’s just not. She saved that other witch from falling and she loves the wyverns. I not sure I can vote for Celeana to win, if they ever have to fight. I like Manon too much. She might be my favorite character.
Page 1339- Uh-oh. Evil king is kidnapping Choal and Dorian and their buddies. This is one kidnapping per book for Chaol, if you’re keeping track. He’s just a terrible guardsman.
Page 1339- Shit, if Aedion does before he even gets to see Celaena I’m gonna cry. Take any of the others, Evil King, but not him!
Page 1344: Yep, healer girl is dead. I knew it was only a matter of time. Better her than Aedion.
Page 1350- Choal saved the dog, again. The book does this to me, because it wants me to question myself and my choice to not like him so much. Crap. You HAVE to sort of like someone who likes dogs. Or wyvern.
The end
Okay that one was amazing! I am still confused as hell as to the endgame romance, but I enjoyed reading the book so much I don’t even mind. Five stars!

In this post I go over, somewhat exhaustively, the events and aftermath of the Purple Wedding, examining our characters’ perspectives, statements, positions, and motivations to determine what object was poisoned, by whom, and who was meant to die. The title spoils my conclusion: Tyrion’s pie was poisoned, and Tyrion was the intended target.

Let’s Look at How we Know What Happened

1: Maester Cressen. From his chapter we learn exactly what the Strangler is and how it works.

“Dissolved in wine, it would make the muscles of a man’s throat clench tighter than any fist, shutting off his windpipe. They said the victim’s face turned as purple as the little crystal seed from which his death was grown, but so too did a man choking on a morsel of food.”

Cressen’s initial description of the Strangler’s effects already foreshadows the wine/pie debate. Cressen indicates that his chosen delivery method is via wine, but describes how the death the Strangler causes is meant to resemble a man choking on food.
With Cressen’s death, we see just how quickly the Strangler takes effect:

The wine was sour on his tongue. He let the empty cup drop from his fingers to shatter on the floor. “He does have power here, my lord,” the woman said. “And fire cleanses.” At her throat, the ruby shimmered redly. Cressen tried to reply, but his words caught in his throat. His cough became a terrible thin whistle as he strained to suck in air. Iron fingers tightened round his neck. As he sank to his knees…

In the time it takes for Melisandre to make a one-liner, Cressen has already begun to cough and has lost the ability to speak. His reaction to the poison begins immediately, and death arrives quickly.
2: Tyrion. All of our evidence at the scene of the crime comes from Tyrion’s perspective, so let’s analyze what he sees and what he doesn’t:
Tyrion is not seeing much. Joffrey dumped wine on his head, and

It drenched his hair, stung his eyes, burned in his wound, ran down his cheeks, and soaked the velvet of his new doublet. “How do you like that, Imp?” Joffrey mocked. Tyrion’s eyes were on fire. He dabbed at his face with the back of a sleeve and tried to blink the world back into clarity.

Afterwards, when observing Ser Illyn’s sword

Tyrion’s eyes still stung from the wine. He blinked and looked again.

Detailed vision is a process for him right now, and he is not exercising it much. After wine is poured on him, most of his observations are touch and sound-based

Joffrey laughed, and Cersei as well. Then others. He could not see who, but he heard them.

The two objects which Tyrion is paying close attention to are Joffrey’s wine goblet and the pigeon pie. So let’s follow the wine and pie’s journeys closely and hopefully come to a logistical conclusion as to which ones could have been poisoned.

Joffrey’s Death: The Supercut

1: “‘Your Grace,’ was all [Tyrion] had time to say before the king upended the chalice over his head”. If Joffrey’s wine was poisoned before now, that poison has been dumped out.
2: Joffrey has no wine, Tyrion is named his cupbearer. “He claimed a flagon from a serving girl and filled the goblet three-quarters full… Joffrey took the wedding chalice one-handed, drank deep, and set it on the table.” Joffrey is fine; the serving girl did not poison the flagon she gave Tyrion.
3: The pie arrives, and everyone is focused on it. The pie is cut very dramatically and the guests are served. “A serving man placed a slice of hot pigeon pie in front of Tyrion and covered it with a spoon of lemon cream.” If Tyrion’s pie is poisoned, it was done by the serving man and the strangler is dissolved in the spoonful of lemon cream. Neither Tyrion nor Sansa touch their pie. With everyone focused on the pie, now would be the time to poison Joffrey’s wine.
4: “The king’s chalice was on the table where he’d left it… Joff yanked it from [Tyrion’s] hands and drank long and deep, his throat working as the wine ran purple down his chin.” Joffrey just took a long drink of the wine, and is fine. He and Margaery exchange words:
5: ‘“My lord,” Margaery said, “we should return to our places. Lord Buckler wants to toast us.” “My uncle hasn’t eaten his pigeon pie.” Holding the chalice onehanded, Joff jammed his other into Tyrion’s pie. “It’s ill luck not to eat the pie” he scolded…”’ If Joff’s wine was poisoned, he should have started coughing during this exchange. As a reminder, Maester Cressen didn’t manage to get a single word out after drinking poisoned wine.
6: ‘... as he filled his mouth with hot spiced pigeon. “See, it’s good.” Spitting out flakes of crust, he coughed and helped himself to another fistful. “Dry, though. Needs washing down.” Joff took a swallow of wine and coughed again, more violently. “I want to see, kof, see you ride that, kof kof, pig, Uncle. I want. ..” His words broke up in a fit of coughing.’
There are two possible interpretations of point 6, one more likely than the other. Either
-The pie was dry and Joffrey’s first cough was due merely to that, and his swallow of wine to wash it down is what delivered the poison, resulting in a more violent cough. The wine was poisoned while Joffrey was holding it in his hand, when all eyes including Tyrion’s were on him, and neither Tyrion or Joffrey or Sansa noticed anyone walking up and to and putting something in the chalice, or
-The pie was poisoned, not just dry. This poison caused Joff’s coughing fit, which gradually escalated. Through Tyrion we saw where the poison came from, the serving man with the lemon cream.
7: Let’s see what Joff thinks he’s dying from. ‘“It’s, kof, the pie, noth - kof, pie.” Joff took another drink, or tried to, but all the wine came spewing back out when another spate of coughing doubled him over.’” The boy's last words were "It's the pie", and I think we ought to take this seriously.
8: “…the boy’s eyes met Tyrion’s… Joffrey was making a dry clacking noise, trying to speak. His eyes bulged white with terror, and he lifted a hand... reaching for his uncle, or pointing…” Tyrion thinks Joffrey is either begging his forgiveness or asking for his help, but I am more inclined towards Cersei’s interpretation. Joffrey is accusing Tyrion. It was Tyrion’s pie he choked on, after all.
10: “But his eyes fell on the wedding chalice, forgotten on the floor. He went and scooped it up. There was still a half-inch of deep purple wine in the bottom of it. Tyrion considered it a moment, then poured it on the floor.” What exactly was Tyrion’s consideration? This is one of the few moments in the entire series where our POV character thinks about something, but we do not hear their thoughts.
Conclusion: Joffrey began showing Cressen-like symptoms immediately after eating Tyrion’s pie, and when somebody besides Tyrion had the opportunity to poison Joffrey’s wine, nobody did.

Cersei’s Propaganda: Poisoned Wine, Clean Pie

In the immediate aftermath of Joffrey’s death, the witnesses do not suspect foul play from anyone present. Lady Alerie says to Margaery “He choked, sweetling. He choked on the pie. It was naught to do with you. He choked. We all saw.” The poison was delivered so as to make it appear that the victim died from choking on pie, and that is what the witnesses suspect. Like all the best poisonings, it was meant to look like it wasn’t poison. Alerie Tyrell doesn’t think this was an assassination attempt, and neither do the kingsguard who are “standing uselessly around her.” Nobody suspects foul play, nor do they suspect anyone of murder, until:

“Arrest my brother,” [Cersei] commanded him. “He did this, the dwarf. Him and his little wife. They killed my son. Your king. Take them! Take them both!”

Cersei blames Tyrion for this, thus it must be the wine that was poisoned. If the pie was poisoned then Tyrion was innocent, was the intended target, and Joffrey died of his own cruelty. Tyrion’s guilt and the wine being poisoned are unified concepts. One being true implies the other being true. However we know that Tyrion is innocent, which implies the wine was innocent as well.
Tyrion understands this. At his trial he never attempts to claim that someone else poisoned the wine, but rather asserts that “Joffrey choked on his pigeon pie.” It's obvious to him that nobody but himself could have poisoned the wine, so he accuses no one of doing so.
Because of Cersei’s accusation, Tyrion’s trial only considers two possibilities: Tyrion poisoned the wine, or Joffrey choked on pie. For this reason, when Maesters Ballabar and Frenken “found no morsel of pigeon pie nor any other food lodged in the royal throat” and concluded that “It was poison that killed him, my lords” it is logged as evidence that the wine was poisoned by Tyrion. Since we the readers know that Tyrion did not poison the wine, we ought to take this as evidence that pie was poisoned.
I believe that Cersei’s accusation of Tyrion (even though we the audience know it to be false) is the core reason that most readers believe that Joffrey’s wine was poisoned.
All of the characters who take Tyrion’s guilt for granted are directly influenced by Cersei. To find out who actually did cause Joffrey’s death (by trying to kill Tyrion), let us turn to the perspective of people who never heard Cersei’s accusation

Sansa and Dontos

Sansa: For most of the feast Sansa is lost in melancholy mourning the deaths of her family, and Once Ser Illyn pulls out his sword to slice the pigeon pie she becomes hyper-fixated on the blade she thinks is Ice.

Sansa stirred in her seat. “What sword is that?”... Sansa clutched his arm. “What has Ser Illyn done to my father’s sword?”

And Tyrion never answers her question. In the minutes leading up to Joffrey’s poisoning Sansa is not paying attention to any of her physical surroundings, so she is not a helpful source for determining who got their hands on the poison. When she eventually finds a stone missing from her hairnet, she ponders that

It must have been loose in the setting, that’s all. It was loose and it fell out, and now it’s lying somewhere in the throne room, or in the yard, unless…

Sansa clearly does not remember anyone taking an amethyst from her hair, and is willing to blame any suspect presented to her. When she meets Dontos in the godswood she blames him, and then upon learning that Tyrion has been arrested, Sansa immediately thinks its possible that Tyrion took it.

Could he truly have killed him? Did he know about my hair net, about the black amethysts? He brought Joff wine. How could you make someone choke by putting an amethyst in their wine?

Tyrion was sitting right next to her for the whole feast. If Sansa thinks that he could have snatched her amethyst without her noticing, then ANYONE could have without her noticing. My bet? The serving man who put lemon cream on Tyrion’s pigeon pie also snatched the amethyst.
Dontos also didn’t take the amethyst, but he did know the plan. He knew someone was going to die at that wedding, and he knew it was the pie that was poisoned. Dontos gives us proof that the assassination was intended to look like death by pie:

“Black amethysts,” he swore. “There was magic in them.”
“There was murder in them!”
“Softly, my lady, softly. No murder. He choked on his pigeon pie.” Dontos chortled. “Oh, tasty tasty pie. Silver and stones, that’s all it was, silver and stone and magic.”

Dontos has no way of knowing by observation of Joffrey’s death whether the poison was in his pie or his wine. However, unlike our other bystanders, Dontos knows for a FACT that there was poison (or death magic, if we grant him his style). Since Dontos’ story here is that Joffrey choked on his pie, he clearly knew beforehand that the poison was meant to be in the pie.
Dontos does raise one problem, however: If he knew that the poison was meant for Tyrion, and that they got the wrong guy, why wouldn’t he mention that to Sansa? I posit this simple solution: Dontos did not know who the target was. And why would he? Littlefinger only trusts him as far as the promise of 10,000 gold dragons can take him. If Dontos knew that the target was King Joffrey, or the Lannister Master of Coin, and had a whole moon turn to consider his options, he may well have considered outing the conspiracy as the more safe and more profitable alternative. The only faction who could potentially match Littlefinger’s 10,000 gold offer would be the Lannisters, after all.
With this in mind I think it is totally reasonable that Littlefinger only told Dontos that there would be a death at Joffrey’s wedding (so he wouldn’t be caught off-guard), that Sansa’s hair net was full of vengeance magic (to make sure he convinced her to wear it), and that the pigeon pie would be poisoned (so he would make sure Sansa didn’t eat any of it). With this information Ser Dontos knows everything he needs to be on time for the job and to keep Sansa safe, but cannot blab to anybody about the target.
Speaking of Littlefinger and what he did and did not tell people, let’s examine his plan and whether or not it makes more sense if he had intended to kill Tyrion:

Littlefinger had a Motive

Let’s look at what we know Petyr Baelish wanted out of the Purple Wedding:

1. He wants to obtain Sansa, without anyone knowing he wanted or had her. This much is obvious.
2. He wants Sansa to trust and be solely dependent on himself.
3. He wants Sansa to be unmarried so he can use her politically. “Widowhood will become you, Sansa.”
4. He doesn’t want anyone to suspect him of the murder.

So let’s look at what he gets out of Joffrey’s death:

1. Check. He gets Sansa.
2. Mostly check. Sansa is solely dependent on him, and is mostly grateful that he killed Joffrey, but she doesn’t really trust him. She considers that he might be worse than the Lannisters.
3. Fail. Sansa is still married to Tyrion Lannister, and will only become single if Tyrion is killed or sent to the Wall. Since Littlefinger had nothing to do with framing Tyrion for the murder, Sansa will remain married for the foreseeable future.
4. Check. Everyone suspects Tyrion of the murder because of Cersei, and if not for her they would suspect Obaryn Martell. Everyone thinks Petyr is far away in the Vale.

And let’s compare it to what he would get out of Tyrion’s death:

1. Check. Nothing about Dontos and Sansa’s plan changes if Tyrion dies.
2. Mostly check. Sansa is mostly grateful that Tyrion is dead and very grateful for being taken away from Joffrey. She is theoretically even more dependent on Petyr since she has no husband, but may be more suspicious of him since he killed her husband.
3. Check! Sansa is a widow immediately, no trials or frame job required.
4. Check. Petyr framed King Joffrey for the murder of Tyrion. He orchestrated the dwarf joust despite Joffrey’s objections because he knew Tyrion would hate it. He wanted to start a fight between uncle and nephew before the pie was served, causing Tyrion to die after repeatedly insulting/being insulted by the king. Anyone who did not suspect Joffrey would suspect the Tyrells, who also wanted Sansa widowed. Since Joffrey and Margaery are king and queen, and Tyrion was widely hated, there would probably be no investigation of the murder. “He choked on his pigeon pie.”If Littlefinger framing Joffrey for murder sounds totally off-hand to you, I will remind you that he’s likely already done it twice. First was Bran’s attempted murder, which Petyr framed the Lannisters for, and which Jaime, Cersei, and Tyrion Lannister all conclude that Joffrey was responsible for. Next was Ser Merryn Trant’s attempted murder of Tyrion during the battle of the Blackwater, which Littlefinger almost certainly orchestrated but which Tyrion and Cersei conclude was Joffrey’s doing. Again, the convenient thing about framing Joffrey is that he is known for violence, and that nobody will directly question or accuse him.

If Littlefinger framing Joffrey for murder sounds totally off-hand to you, I will remind you that he’s likely already done it twice. First was Bran’s attempted murder, which Petyr framed the Lannisters for, and which Jaime, Cersei, and Tyrion Lannister all conclude that Joffrey was responsible for. Next was Ser Merryn Trant’s attempted murder of Tyrion during the battle of the Blackwater, which Littlefinger almost certainly orchestrated but which Tyrion and Cersei conclude was Joffrey’s doing. Again, the convenient thing about framing Joffrey is that he is known for violence, and that nobody will directly question or accuse him.
Finally for Littleifnger: In Joffrey’s murder, he had no motive. Sansa and Littlefinger are both being honest here:

“My lord, I... I do not understand... Joffrey gave you Harrenhal, made you Lord Paramount of the Trident... why...”
“Why should I wish him dead?” Littlefinger shrugged. “I had no motive."

Then, in explaining why he would do something he had no motive to do, Littlefinger spouts some absolute bullshit. He had the time between when the bells began ringing a royal dirge to when Sansa arrived to come up with this crap:

• “Always keep your foes confused. If they are never certain who you are or what you want, they cannot know what you are like to do next. Sometimes the best way to baffle them is to make moves that have no purpose, or even seem to work against you. Remember that, Sansa, when you come to play the game.”

Which also serves as absolutely GARBAGE advice. As she comes to play the game, Sansa will be extremely ineffective if she thinks the best political strategy is to be confusing and do things which don’t serve your interests. If Sansa takes this to heart, Littlefinger can be assured that she will never become an effective enemy to him.
Finally, let us discuss:

Were the Tyrells in on it?

Lets go over what we do know about the Tyrells’ involvement:
We can quickly write off Olenna as the person who removed the strangler from Sansa's hair net because:

1. The hair net actually did need to be adjusted. It was applied by Shae, the notoriously inexperienced handmaid who had probably never even seen a hair net made of spun metal before. Olenna taking a long time futzing with it makes perfect sense.
2. If Olenna WAS stealing from Sansa, she was doing it in the most suspicious way possible. She spends a whole paragraph messing with Sansa’s hair, and Tyrion is watching her closely the whole time. He doesn’t see her pocket anything when she comes away from Sansa, and when Sansa initially thinks about where her amethyst could have gone this incident with Olenna does not come to mind.
3. Olenna fixed Sansa’s hairnet before the feast even began. If she’d removed a stone from it, guests had the entirety of the wedding feast to notice. It would be so obviously Olenna’s fault if she came away from fixing the hair net and something was found to be missing from it during the feast. Whoever took the amethyst did so while people were distracted, and shortly before the murder.

We watched Olenna NOT remove a stone from the hair net. Whoever did take it (probably the serving man), we didn’t see it happen.
Another thing we know is that Littlefinger wants Sansa to believe that the Tyrells were involved. As mentioned above, the Tyrells had reason to want Tyrion dead. I believe Petyr always planned on identifying them as part of the assassination plot to Sansa, in order to separate her from the idea of running away to them, but I have no proof of this. However, even if the story Petyr tells Sansa about the Tyrells’ motives about killing Joffrey were true, it in no way indicates that they coordinated the poisoning. In fact, the story sounds more like Littlefinger was scheming to add a self-destruct timer to the Western Alliance at the time he was forming it:

When I came to Highgarden to dicker for Margaery’s hand, she let her lord son bluster while she asked pointed questions about Joffrey’s nature. I praised him to the skies, to be sure... whilst my men spread disturbing tales amongst Lord Tyrell’s servants. That is how the game is played.
“I also planted the notion of Ser Loras taking the white… Lady Olenna was not about to let Joff harm her precious darling granddaughter, but unlike her son she also realized that under all his flowers and finery, Ser Loras is as hot-tempered as Jaime Lannister. Toss Joffrey, Margaery, and Loras in a pot, and you’ve got the makings for kingslayer stew.
Margaery will marry Tommen. She’ll keep her queenly crown and her maidenhead, neither of which she especially wants, but what does that matter? The great western alliance will be preserved... for a time, at least.”

What this comes off as is that Littlefinger really wanted Ser Loras to kill Joffrey and destroy the Western Alliance, and that’s the whole reason he pushed for Loras to join the kingsguard. This story also says nothing about a Baelish-Tyrell conspiracy to kill Joffrey. Rather, Petyr Baelish appears disappointed that the Tyrells have emerged innocent from Joffrey’s death. The one silver lining for Baelish is that Tyrion, while alive, is under arrest for Joffrey’s murder and is like to lose his head. We have zero evidence that the Tyrells were in any way involved with the poisoning at the Purple Wedding.
That about covers it. Sorry this is such a long post, but I wanted to address every angle. For those who scrolled to the bottom, here is a

TL;DR:

Nobody besides Tyrion had the opportunity to poison the wine; since we know Tyrion is innocent, the wine must not have been poisoned. The poison was meant to look like choking on pie, and the only reason most characters think that the wine was poisoned is because Cersei accuses Tyrion of being the poisoner. Littlefinger had no motive to kill Joffrey, but he did have motive to kill Tyrion. Dontos said the pie is what killed him, and Joffrey’s last words were “the pie”.

In protest of Reddit's API changes, I have just finished deleting as much of my post and comment history as possible. I have heard that this list has been useful for many readers over the years, so I am reposting the list as a new post here, instead of a comment.
I expect I will be using Reddit very little, if at all, going forward. I will not be updating this list any longer.
Thank you all! It's been fabulous being part of this community.
Each subsection has my favourites near the top, then aren't really in order.

Complete LitRPGs:

Threadbare series (including Small Medium and Dragon Hack) by Seiple (suggested order: trilogies TB1, SM, DH, TB2) Limitless Lands by Henegar Master Hunter K by From Hell World Tree Online by Hooper New Game Minus by Lin (and Street Cultivation, but it's not a LitRPG) Light Online by Larcombe Eternal Online by Reynolds Retired S-Rank Adventurer by Wolfe & Falcon Life Reset by Kuznits Blessed Time and Viceroy's Pride by Plamann Towers of Heaven by Milan CivCEO by Karevik Forever Fantasy Online by Aaron and Bach (great series, but very limited progression; max level from the beginning) This Trilogy is Broken (a.k.a. This Quest is Bullshit! from Royal Road) by Valentine (a.k.a. Nixia) War Aeternus by Dean PrimeVerse by Billiau Everybody Loves Large Chests by Iliev (NSFW gore, nudity, demons raping each other but asexual protagonist doesn't understand sexuality and is mostly uninvolved) Somnia Online by Hanna The Dungeon Alaria by Kern Rise to Omniscience by Oster The Idle System by Pegaz Last Born of Ki'darth by McGowen Accidental Traveler (two complete trilogies) by Davis Savage Dominion by Chmilenko & Penman The Last Warrior of Unigaea and The Feedback Loop by Cooper Factory of the Gods (a.k.a. Keldora) by Raizman (complete arc; once *Dinosaur Dungeon** concludes, this series will continue.)* Nova Online by Knight Axe Druid by Johns Tower Climber and Arcane Kingdom Online by Tanner Emerilia by Chatfield Euphoria Online by Tucker Aether Gate Online by Hultberg Chronicles of Ethan (and standalone sequel Overpowered Howard) by Monk System Apocalypse™, Adventures on Brad, and Hidden Wishes by Wong Combat Codes by Darwin is great, but it's /ProgressionFantasy Below here I haven't read yet: Death's Mantle by Cooper Space Seasons by Chapman Heroic Villain, and Bathrobe Knight by Dean Metagamer Chronicles by Hunter Fall of the Black Seraph by O'Kelley (a.k.a. The Genesis Game by Locke) Afterlife Online by Finn The Iron Teeth by Straughan Dungeons of Perdition by Basu Pangea Online by Rowland The Weaponized by Deckard Never Die Twice and Kairos by Durand (a.k.a. Void Herald on RR) Headshot Online by Siege Trinity of the Kairos by Sinclair Chronicles of Wycon by Moore Abduction Cycles by Cressman They Called Me MAD and The Houndsman by Pal The Bright Lord by Knowles Nora Hazard by Corvin Beast Realms by Jones Arena Manager by Opo Frostworld by Peel Magnus by Prime Metamorphosis Online by Grey Alterlife by Moss Underverse by Cajiao The Orzare Chronicles by O Toole Alpha Physics by Kozlowski Legends of Ascension by Hultberg Badges of Dorkdom by Hodges Star Divers by Landry Legendary Farmer by Elizabeth Oswald Class Shift by Sean Oswald Ten Realms by Chatfield The Weight of it All by Thorn Phase Shift by Johnson Voidbringer Campaign by Hall Sky Realms by Osgood Cultivator vs. System by Valerios Uniworld Online and Glendara Awakens by Brooks Freedom Online by Lingard Enora Online by Adams Harbinger by Keene Bad Luck Charlie (a.k.a. Dragon Mage) by Baron Apocosmos by Gkirgkiris Real-Time Starcommander by Gregory Dungeon Realms by Yang Death's Favorite Warlock by Dean The Game of Gods by Kern Tower Apocalypse by Cassius & Tang Real-Time Starcommander by Gregory Hack, Slash & Burn by Herzman Cowboy Necromancer (some novellas to follow) & Tokens & Towers by Cooper Apocalypse Gates (and I think other series) by Schinhofen (I've heard there are lots of sex scenes and he's known for "secret harems")

Standalone LitRPGs:

How to Defeat a Demon King in Ten Easy Steps by Rowe Tales from the Upgrade by Henegar The Card Job by Falbo (I used to also include The Crafting of Chess, but it now has a sequel. Regardless, it's already a complete story in 1 volume.) Leveled Up Love by Wong and Marshall Battle Spire by Miller Kaiju: Battlefield Surgeon by Dinniman (trigger warning: gore, abuse of various types) Below here I haven't read yet: Zombie Slayer by Milan Axilon99 by Cox The Ridden by Kern Aether Frontier by McCoskey Royal Bodyguard and Just A Bronze by Richter Hazelhearth Hires Heroes by Willison Nigmus Online by Barnett An Old Man's Journey by Allanther Toothless by Thomas

Sci-Fi LitRPGs:

(this is my attempt to include science fiction stories with LitRPG elements, but that focus on the science-fiction implications of VAI/games, not on progression)
Continue Online by Morse Virtual Realities by Schott Puatera Online by Chapman (the first three books have very little /ProgressionFantasy elements; later books are a bit more typical of the genre)

Series that can be read as complete with a midway stopping point, but have been continued:

The Gam3 by Yap (a sequel series started in August on RR, but book 3 ends a complete story) Nova Terra by Ring (to be continued in Forgemaster )

Series that are on permanent (?) hiatus but at a stopping point that could be an ending:

Desire by Milan (not harem... Really poorly-named series! Milan calls it complete, but it's an open ending.) Monster Hunter NYC by Cooper (harem) Below here I haven't read yet: Greystone Chronicles, Shadow Sun, The Darkelf Chronicles and Mars System Reboot by Willmarth

Dungeon core series:

Elemental Dungeon (a.k.a. Bone Dungeon) by Smidt Dungeon Crafting, Dungeon Fairy, Dungeon World, Station Core, Dungeon of Chance and Holiday Dungeon Core by Brooks Derelict by Henegar (complete trilogy; more books to come) Divine Seed (a.k.a. Tree Dungeon) by Karevik Bio Dungeon by Logue and Brooks Divine Dungeon by Krout (imho stronger as a complete trilogy, but it's also a complete series at five books.) Guild Core by Reynolds Futuristic Dungeon Core by Grant Below here I haven't read yet: A Lonely Dungeon (RR) by cathfach Cat Core and War Core by Henegar Blue Core by InadvisablyCompelled (adult content chapters marked; I assume so they can be skipped)

Complete web serials:

Worth the Candle by Wales The Infinite Labyrinth by Vincent Archer The Humble Life of a Skill Trainer by altonsleet Mother of Learning by nobody103 is amazing, but it's /progressionfantasy not LitRPG. Below here I haven't read yet: Vainquer the Dragon by Void Herald Azarinth Healer by Rhaegar (book 1 on KU, epilogue to follow still) Everybody Loves Large Chests by Exterminatus (trigger warning: rapey demon sex, gratuitous gorey violence) (also Small Chests Are Fine Too) more NSFW than KU version? Epilogue by Etzoli Damage=MA: A Rolling Stone LitRPG by zechamp Death Singer by geminirand Or maybe just peruse COMPLETE-tagged stories on Royal Road.

Russian-translated complete LitRPG series:

Level Up by Sugralinov Dark Herbalist by Atamanov The Way of the Shaman by Mahanenko (ending on book 6) AlterWorld by Rus Below here I haven't read yet: Galactogon by Mahanenko Animus and Chronicles of KieraFreya by Anderle Mirror World by Osadchuk Realm of Arkon by Akella An NPC's Path by Kornev The Neuro by Livadny Clan Dominance by Mikhailov The Final Countdown by Ulengov

Asian translated LitRPGs:

Master Hunter K (on KU) by From Hell Solo Leveling/I Alone Level Up by Sung-Lak Infinite Competitive Dungeon Society and Everyone Else is a Returnee by Toika The Legendary Mechanic by Peija Seoul Station Necromancer by Jin Rebirth of the Thief Who Roamed the World by Mad Snail Reincarnation of the Strongest Sword God by Lucky Old Cat Emperor of Solo Play by D-Dart borderline LitRPG: Throne of Magical Arcana by Cuttlefish That Loves Diving A Returner's Magic Should be Special by So-Nan Below here I haven't read yet: Demon King by Toika Advent of the Archmage by Mo Xiang Night Ranger by Dark Blue Coconut Milk Warlock of the Magus World by The Plagiarist Desolate Era by I Eat Tomatoes The Second Coming of Gluttony by Ro Yu-jin And there are a lot of complete translated cultivation web serials; search over at /ProgressionFantasy or /NovelTranslations for recs. I also expect this list is missing many complete series. Please recommend any you think are worth reading!

Harem series

World Seed by Miller Reborn by Jackson Reborn as a Baron Lord by Yang Wolf King's Lair by Drake

Edit: I did not, in fact, keep this short.
So I performed a HHG move at the beginning of this year and we had some pretty hefty damages; our claim was right around $3.5k. I'm going to attempt to keep this short, but if you need more information for a better response, please ask and I'll respond. This is also developing, as I'm taking the weekend to handle this situation, so I will try to give accurate statements to the best of my ability, but that might change as I investigate further.
I just received an email from the TSP today, and they are offering me $550, which doesn't even remotely come close to the cost of the damages. Out of the 14 items I claimed, only four are being settled. The rest are either claimed to be damaged before shipment and the burden of proof falls to me, or the items were not inventoried because they were packed into boxes with other items.
​
I also made a big fuckup and did not accurately document the move. My previous PCS was a breeze and I admittingly got complacent. Due diligence was not exercised on my end. Trust me, I'm already beating myself up plenty over this. I will NOT allow this to ever happen again to myself. So I respectfully ask that we move past the responses saying "You should have taken pictures of everything, inventoried the items yourself, checked all the boxes, etc." Next time, they will not be out of my sight for a moment. They will explain and justify every single bit of damage they put on that form. I will be in regular contact with the HHG/Transportation Office. I will record every phone call and video every moment they are interacting with me in my house and while they are moving my items. I will not let them touch a single one of my possessions unless I am watching them like a hawk, and I can accurately refute any and all damages they attempt to hold me liable for.
Needless to say, I'm mad at myself just as much as I'm mad at the TSP because I allowed them to do this to me. So again, I understand I fucked up here.
​
As for additional information, I started my shipment on a bad note. Our movers refused to install the moving bolts for the washer, and they were asking my wife to help pack. So I called the transportation office and corrected that. Most of our belongings were packed somewhat haphazardly, as my wife described. I was at work the day of the move, so I wasn't able to attend the morning hours of packing. I visually witnessed them throwing stuff in the back of the moving truck with no padding or protection, but I didn't think to take pictures. They seemed pissed at me after that.
​
When they finished moving, they had us sign the "Household Goods Descriptive Inventory." (I'm fucking pissed about this part) I asked him what all the random symbols meant under "condition at origin" and if he could explain to me what I was signing. He said that it was just a physical description of all of the items that were inventoried, and told me to sign it because I would have a chance to notate any damages when they arrived at the destination. So I looked through all of the inventory and everything looked good. By the way, it was difficult to understand the condition at origin stuff. Literally, it looks like chicken scratch and says "10-9-W-F,ST-SO,F." But my dumbass went ahead and signed, thinking that if something did happen, I'd be able to claim damage at the destination like my mover said I could.
​
I realize now that I signed away my entire claim by that one dumb action.
​
Upon arrival, our goods were haphazardly carried up the stairs, getting dropped and scraped along the railing. We had a lot of cosmetic damage, but there were also some items that received physical damage. One or two items were just completely gone. During that time, before I realized the damage that had occurred, our movers asked us if we could get them lunch and they'd pay us back. I didn't have an issue with it, so I went ahead and got food for them for around $60 or so. When we finished up with everything, I was frustrated with the nightstand that they completely broke the front off of, so I was busy documenting that. I admit to being distracted at the time, and that was (again) entirely my fault. They gave us the papers, and I notated the damage to the washedryer (that we had just bought no more than 6 months prior), and the couple of other items that we noticed were damaged. We did not do a complete walkthrough at the time of delivery, opening every single box to check for missing items, which is again my fault. Then signed the paperwork and they left.... and I forgot about the lunch because I was distracted with other stuff at that moment.
​
Also, when they moved the washer, I asked where they put the moving bolts. They told me they threw them away in the dumpster. Now, when we had our washedryer delivered, the woman who sold us the appliances told us to keep them. I wasn't home at the time, but the installers also conveniently "threw the bolts in the dumpster." Come to find out, those things can go for upwards of a $100 on eBay.
​
Since I had learned our mistake on that one, I asked the movers what dumpster they threw it in so I could go fish them out. They told me not to worry about it and they brought them to me in under 5mins. (in almost perfect condition, might I add)
​
So now, I'm going through all the paperwork, learning the code they used for the "Condition at Origin", and I'm discovering that the mover grossly overexaggerated MANY of the damages noted. Some items don't even have damage on them where they claimed. Also, anything packed into a box did not receive an inventory number. So the three monitors that got shipped, free-floating inside the box, did not get an inventory number.
​
Due to the items not being inventoried, the TSP is claiming that those items were not actually shipped, and they also aren't liable for those damages. To include my wife's $500 Alienware monitor that is now only backlit doesn't display a picture. On that note, the TSP told us (for the monitor specifically) that we needed a professional look at the monitor to give us a quote on the cost of repair. So we went to best buy and asked geek squad to inspect it. Why spend the time and money telling us to get a quote when they never intended on providing settlement for it anyways?!
So here I am, its a Friday night and I'm seeing red. I want to call the TSP and fucking chew them out for their dishonesty and unethical behavior. I wanna call the transportation office for not doing a post-move inspection, and report this. I wanna yell at myself for being so stupid. I want to call my House Reps and Senators to tell them what happened. I want to get a lawyer and start a suit. I want to let my chain of command know, and explain how this shitty situation is affecting my work and home life, adding additional stress. I want to put in a FOIA request to determine the cost of how much the Navy paid this company to move my stuff, and add that to the suit along with providing that information to congress. I am just so. fucking. peeved.
​
Instead, I'm typing on here to get some wisdom from others who are familiar with similar situations, and get advice for a way forward. While I'm not just going to let this happen to me, I also realize that:
1) I'm probably not in the best headspace to be talking to anyone or making any important decisions right now, and 2) I have no idea what to do, and I feel that if I do decide to go the lawsuit route, it would be a bad decision to continue communications between myself and the TSP without a lawyer present.
​
Regardless, I'm not done here. I will make sure something will come from this because I'm determined as all hell right now. And it pisses me off that this happens regularly to other Sailors and nobody does anything, so it just gets dismissed. If I can change something to benefit myself and others, then I should make every effort to.
​
So that being said, what do you guys have for me? What should I do from here? What options do I have? What realistically should I do, and how much of what I said is just emotional nonsense because I'm angry?
​
I don't plan on communicating with anyone tonight. Instead, I plan on going over every single item on the inventory list, copying down the "condition at origin" section, decoding it, then taking pictures of the items that have "supposed damage." I feel like that's a good start, because (and feel free to tell me if I'm wrong) if I can prove they lied on the inventory sheet, that would be one step to deconstructing everything else they lied about.
​
I apologize for the long post. If you made it this far, thank you for listening; it's been somewhat calming to just vent. I appreciate any/all help and consideration on this one in advance, and please wish me luck. I'll keeping a regular eye on this post in case I get comments for more detail.

Hi Roboticists, I am working on a global path planner for a truck trailer system and coded a Hybrid A star algorithm in C++ (not used ROS). Is this a good algorithm for the system? Any ideas or discussion are very much appreciated.
Also, now I am trying to use OMPL to implement the Reeds Shepp Path for my planner.
​

"Ruuk."
I jolted awake, my heart thundering in my chest. I looked around, but didn't see anyone. I sat up on my bed, idly noting that the bedding was different. My bedroom was adorned with carvings dedicated to Bahamut, a small assortment of vestments were arranged on a shelf, as well as an assortment of other things that Tallyn likely had need of.
I stood up, I no longer felt exhausted, but I didn't feel rested. I didn't remember much of my nightmare, only that it was claustrophobic, a memory of the mine collapsing on me? I wasn't certain. I made use of some sort of polish to clean up my armor and some wax to give the spear a nice coating.
We didn't bathe, at least, we didn't go out of our way to use our drinking water for bathing. I usually stuck with Prestidigitation, three quick casts were enough for me. As I got ready for the day, I walked over to the vestments and picked them up. Dyed blue, at least with magic, as far as I knew. The Artificers were good at figuring out all of the things that both mattered and didn't matter.
'The vestments of my faith are a sign of devotion to me.' Bahamut spoke. 'You have your devotion directed elsewhere.'
"I know." I said. "I want to avoid another situation with your faithful, I quite literally went in and gave Mitne a dressing down on little more than spite, and something like that's not going to be ignored, regardless of the situation."
I put the vestments on, and noted a section of the wall had been polished to a reflective sheen.
My once-blind eye was a deep azure, the scars still present on my face, the other was a dull, pale yellow, a sign that Kurtulmak had once been an influence in my life. I realized, as I looked into my reflection, that this was my first time seeing myself since... Since when? There was a memory, certainly. A building, one that was completely different from what I was used to.
'You do not remember your prior home.' Bahamut observed. 'Does it distress you, knowing that you used to live as a Human?"
"I was... a Human?" I asked. I shook my head. "I don't remember ever being one."
'Nobody does.' Bahamut replied. 'There is an entire year you have existed as a soul, the effects of Tiamat's machinations still affected you, their effect forcing you to forget you ever were a Human in the first place.' He paused. 'In many ways, the truth becomes a lie, as the Human named Adrian ceases to exist, with only Ruuk Stingtail remaining.'
"Will there ever be a point where that would become a lie, even to you?" I asked.
'Perhaps when the last memory has faded, and the truth would only serve to cause anguish.' He answered. 'I have had to abide by much I would not normally, simply because adhering to my ideals would have only led to suffering. I do not have the luxuries the other worlds grant me, if my faithful are gone, and you are dead, Tiamat will have total victory.'
I could feel anguish, a distinct feeling of being unclean. I could see visions of acts of great valor, judgments made for the sake of good and justice, a rigid moral code that brooked not even the merest acts of evil. Worlds where faith formed sturdy bridges, easy egress.
And then there was this lone planet, cast aside and forgotten, only the thinnest threads granting any connection.
"You're forced to abide by us, simply because it's the only option you have." I realized.
I saw another vision, of myself, disbelieving. I could feel a fondness, a desire to show myself a world beyond my own imaginings. The lightning was for me, to spark belief, to show a greater truth. I felt such strong joy, seeing myself faithful to him, and I felt the cold, crushing sorrow and disappointment when I refused to leave Kurtulmak behind.
I saw my evil acts, and I felt such devastating loss and self-loathing for allowing pride to get in the way of ensuring my continued devotion to good.
Bahamut had made costly mistakes, and though he hated it, though he despised abiding by it, he was forced to tolerate my actions, he was forced to give me every opportunity to prove that I hadn't fallen so deeply into hatred as to be irretrievable.
Yet, even though he did not believe for a second Kurtulmak was capable of such, the day Garl Glittergold confronted us, my God had shocked him completely,
Looking at my reflection, I realized I liked seeing myself in this.
'You are my agent, Ruuk, because you were the only one who was able to see hypocrisy for what it was. You demanded I give you proof, because nothing less than that would satisfy you. Even at your lowest, you never truly did anything that hadn't been done to you. Your hatred, painful as it was to see, was justified by the hatred directed toward you. Your manipulations to bring about an Empire were no different from Galax's."
He paused. 'The day I directed you to the platinum, that was a test to see who you really were. An irredeemable tyrant would have used it for evil, or hidden its existence entirely. You not only gave it to my Temple, you made what they needed most.'
I felt his presence around me. 'I am proud of what good you have done, and I am ashamed of the evil my actions to you have wrought. And yet I still use you, my gift being little more than a tool, not a true reward.'
"I have promised myself to Kurtulmak." I said. "If you cannot abide by this, then take my brother as your agent, because I will continue to try and bring my God back."
'I abide, for the simple fact that you have done what I believed to be impossible. I do not need your faith, I only need your good and your justice. I shall not make you make promises to me."
I nodded. "Bahamut... If you promise me you will help me bring him back, if that is a promise you can make, I will serve you and him in equal measure, and he will have to accept that since you would have aided me."
'Ruuk Stingtail, this I vow.'
"Then I vow to serve you as I serve my God, I will hold you in the same regard I give him, and when I am able, I will strive to follow your way. Nomeno Si okros."
I felt Bahamut's warmth flow through me. It did not fill in the void Kurtulmak's death left behind, merely outlined it. In the mirror, my blue eye glowed with inner light.
'Go put on your armor.' Bahamut spoke. 'It would not look good for you to serve both of us, yet represent only me.'
I put the armor on, and feeling more determined than ever, I stepped out into my throne room.
The look on my Council's face, and the faces of both the followers of Kurtulmak and Bahamut, indicated nobody expected me to walk out as I had. Carrying Kurtulmak's spear, wearing his armor, yet bearing Bahamut's holy vestments, I most certainly struck quite the sight.
"Kneel." I said, and they all knelt. "From this day forward, I am a servant of both Kurtulmak and Bahamut, for Bahamut has given me his solemn vow to see him restored."
"As my agent upon this world, Tallyn shall be the ultimate authority of my Temple, as guided by me." Bahamut spoke, my eye flashing with his power. "There shall no longer be a High Priest dictating what is my Law. In the days to come, I shall make apparent what is truth, what is deception, and what is simple misinterpretation."
I blinked, his presence retracting, but not retreating. I was as much his, and I was Kurtulmak's, and he was not letting me go any time soon. Not that I minded.
"From this point forward." I said. "The only laws of the Empire are the Tenets of Bahamut, and what laws come forth as needed. All prior laws will be discarded. Moreover, worship to any God is not mandatory. If I see so much as a pamphlet being handed out, I will execute the offender personally. Is this understood?"
"Yes, Imperator."
"Good." I said. "That line of communication is today's top priority. If no significant headway has been made, I will assume either incompetence or malice, and I will personally see to it that the offender is held accountable." I looked at my father. "Baruk, as my father, you have a heavy burden. I know you will not mess this up."
"Of course, Imperator." He said.
"Good. Go out and to what is needed. I will handle the citizens and their criticisms. Make it known that I now command the Temples, and that there will be no High Priest to dictate their lives. Dismissed."
I didn't waste any time, and neither did the people. Of course, they were a little concerned, seeing me wearing Bahamuti vestments when I stepped out onto the gathering area, but I commanded them to give me their criticisms and concerns.
"The Temples are under my command." I said. "As Bahamut's Agent, it is my job to ensure the people are treated with dignity and respect. You will not be forced to believe in anything."
Going through over ten thousand individual papers is exhausting, so I said, "If in the process of going through everything, I have addressed your every concern, feel free to dispose of your paper." This, as it turned out, was a good idea, because by the time I got to the twentieth person, over half of the gathered crowd crumpled up their papers, ignited them, or otherwise got rid of it.
No detail was too insignificant. "As the new head of Bahamut's Temple, I declare your grievances legitimate, if any Cleric or Paladin denies you any recompense, return to me and I will personally kick their ass."
Gradually, I saw hope and happiness restored in their faces.
"I will not be removing Tallyn from his position." I stated in response to one grievance that called him ineffectual. "At present, I need him to ensure shit gets done with the Temple. However, the one who made him ineffectual will be hunted down and executed on sight."
Another thousand papers were disposed of.
As the day wound down to evening, and after a light lunch, the complaints and criticisms grew more granular and petty, I addressed each issue, and by nightfall, I had gone through the entire list. My father reported that the soldiers were willing to set up a direct line of communication, and were glad we were finally cooperating.
"How did they react to me returning from the dead?" I asked.
"I, uh, haven't actually had a chance to really explain that." He said. "It would have bogged things down. They will be getting things ready for our Artificers, who have an idea for a broadcasting device based around the concept of something called Sending Stones. It shouldn't rely on electricity at all."
"Good." I said.
I took a short nap before leaving to do the ritual again. This time, we had a brazier, which we used to burn aromatic herbs. "This time, I shall join, but I will not give devotion, only direction." Bahamut spoke through me.
We were going to need a lot more stuff, but thankfully, we had a convenient supply of gold, silver, and gemstones waiting to be peeled off the walls of a building.
The next day, while the Artificers got to work on the communication devices, we got to work on what I called 'Operation Cleanup'. Kurtulmak's Divine Essence being everywhere was what some would consider A Problem. That was our ultimate goal, and our options were very limited on that front.
So we focused on what we could do.
I did away with the notion of a Temple to Bahamut entirely, instead just having his face carved into a wall that was accessible to everyone, but out of the way enough that anyone who needed to pray could do so without being bothered.
"Until everyone can behave long enough to not need one, there will be no Temple." I stated firmly. "You have The Wall, you will do your praying at The Wall. If this is inconvenient for you, then go out and do what Bahamut commands you to do. Your actions are your prayers, use them."
The Clerics and Paladins were used to long-winded sermons about Bahamut and his deeds. I was very blunt and direct. If Bahamut had a problem with something, it was always something along the lines of 'Bahamut said no. These are the reasons he said no. If you complain, I will poke you with the pointy end of this spear.'
Which was, incidentally, effective. Bahamut's faithful gradually stopped being so insular and uncertain. The Tenets were all they needed, anything else was a judgment call on their part. "Believe in the you that Bahamut believes in, go forth and do good." I would say.
Anything that needed a less strict hand, or a slightly less moral approach, I would deal with it. He didn't like it, but as far as I was concerned, "If I must be Evil, then I shall be necessary." A concept he believed was oxymoronic, but he didn't complain because I still deferred to his judgment on most things that needed it.
The Temple dealt with, I started focusing on the ravening bands of murderhobos below the city, and that was going to require a more delicate touch.
"Arcanik jedark vers!" I snapped, killing a Kobold who was trying to attack me. "Kneel before your Imperator, or by the point of Kurtulmak's spear and the tip of his poisonous tail, I will see every member of your family perish!"
Delicate.
Sufficiently cowed, the recently dead made recently revived, I made it very clear I was in charge. "Tiamat killed me, and I am still here to make it her problem!" I roared.
Bahamut wasn't particularly fond of me using brutality and coercion to get the hostile Kobolds to comply, but considering I wore a replica of Kurtulmak's armor and wielded his actual spear, well, the only thing I was missing was a stinger tail, and I was reasonably certain I could probably finagle some sort of magic that would do that, if it was absolutely necessary.
With them cowed and submissive, I led them out into the daylight, which they of course weren't happy with. With them stood in front of my city, I spoke very clearly. "I am Imperator of this city, its citizens revere me. If you cannot exist peacefully with them, I will not bring you back. We are Kobolds, and Kobolds protect their own."
Contact between the two groups was tense, but they integrated, swapping crude covers for actual clothes and bolstering our workforce. They numbered roughly one hundred. I made it fairly clear that worship of Tiamat was not allowed. "We will not revere a Goddess who attacked us and slaughtered four fifths of our population. If you must revere a God, revere Kurtulmak, whom we will bring back to life, or Bahamut, who has done more for us than Tiamat ever will."
Atheism was, of course, a viable alternative.
The next few days were dedicated to me helping with the smaller, less vital things, taking down banners that were solely dedicated to Bahamut that had been required by law to be hung- anyone who wanted to hang them in their own home or outside of such was welcome to- or arming the populace because Mitne wanted to consolidate power.
And each night, we performed the ritual, even if it ultimately amounted to nothing, we refused to sit back and do nothing.
During the restoration of Kurtulmak's Temple, one of our workers slipped and fell on something sharp, I didn't even think as I yanked it out and healed him, I had one free heal per 'long rest', any further would eat up my supply of spells, which considering I could restore a handful, meant in a rough spot, I could take some burden off any Clerics.
Finally, on the fifth day of my resurrection, the line of communication was made, and I got ready to use it.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Blood-slicked hand, dead eyes gazing into mine, it was either him or me. Thousands of eyes were on me, overcrowded, overwhelming. I told them, this was where we would stay, I told them we would fight our way to the center, we would conquer this land for as long as it was necessary.
They spoke: "Yes, Imperator!"
​
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Hey everyone! Paldea Evolved is out today and a new set means an update to the workbook!
As always, I thank you for your support and the users out there that help me so much with this huge task. A special shout out to jab2004 who was the original creator and maintainer of this workbook.
As with every release, I tried to correct a lot of omissions and errors that were reported to me since the previous release. If you find anything amiss, please let me know!
JUST JUMPING IN?
If you're just jumping in or if you've been with me from the start, definitely make sure to check out the User Guide tab and read the instructions. I hope it makes things pretty clear. Don't be afraid to ask me questions!
LINK

• Version 9.1: https://www.dropbox.com/s/31x757d231qsqe8/PokemonTCG_EmptyCheckList_v9.1.xlsm?dl=0

CHANGELOG
The following changes and additions have been made: 9.1

• Added - Paldea Evolved

• Updated - SV Black Star Promos (019-022, 030-044)
• Updated - Additional Cards, added Ampharos ex and Lucario ex Battle Deck exclusives, Paldea Evolved Build & Battle Box exclusives

• Code Update - Fixed scripting for Shining Fates Shiny Vault cards

Note: The following updates will cause copying from previous workbooks to get messed up on these worksheets.

• Updated - Additional Cards, at line 521, added non-holo Boss's Orders (Cyrus) and at line 581, added EB Games Lechonk
• Updated - Jumbo Cards, at line 103 and 104, added Volcanion-EX and Hoopa-EX from April 2017 Challenge Boxes

CARD IMAGES
This Collection workbook supports card images through the use of Excel macros I have written.
In order to use this resource, you must have these card picture folders located in the same folder as the Collection workbook. You also need macros enabled in Excel. From there you should be good to go.
Mega Link to Card Pictures: See User Guide in Workbook. Reddit does not like Mega links!
The link above includes at least the following:

• All main set releases, including the latest main set, Paldea Evolved
• All black star promos (with some SWSH and SV missing, for now)
• Select other promos

I am definitely looking for feedback on these card images and let me know if you find any that aren't working the way they are supposed to, as there are a ton of images here!
If you have any questions/comments/concerns, please let me know. Most of all, have fun!

Hey everyone! Paldea Evolved is out today and a new set means an update to the workbook!
As always, I thank you for your support and the users out there that help me so much with this huge task. A special shout out to jab2004 who was the original creator and maintainer of this workbook.
As with every release, I tried to correct a lot of omissions and errors that were reported to me since the previous release. If you find anything amiss, please let me know!
JUST JUMPING IN?
If you're just jumping in or if you've been with me from the start, definitely make sure to check out the User Guide tab and read the instructions. I hope it makes things pretty clear. Don't be afraid to ask me questions!
LINK

• Version 9.1: https://www.dropbox.com/s/31x757d231qsqe8/PokemonTCG_EmptyCheckList_v9.1.xlsm?dl=0

CHANGELOG
The following changes and additions have been made: 9.1

• Added - Paldea Evolved

• Updated - SV Black Star Promos (019-022, 030-044)
• Updated - Additional Cards, added Ampharos ex and Lucario ex Battle Deck exclusives, Paldea Evolved Build & Battle Box exclusives

• Code Update - Fixed scripting for Shining Fates Shiny Vault cards

Note: The following updates will cause copying from previous workbooks to get messed up on these worksheets.

• Updated - Additional Cards, at line 521, added non-holo Boss's Orders (Cyrus) and at line 581, added EB Games Lechonk
• Updated - Jumbo Cards, at line 103 and 104, added Volcanion-EX and Hoopa-EX from April 2017 Challenge Boxes

CARD IMAGES
This Collection workbook supports card images through the use of Excel macros I have written.
In order to use this resource, you must have these card picture folders located in the same folder as the Collection workbook. You also need macros enabled in Excel. From there you should be good to go.
Mega Link to Card Pictures: See User Guide in Workbook. Reddit does not like Mega links!
The link above includes at least the following:

• All main set releases, including the latest main set, Paldea Evolved
• All black star promos (with some SWSH and SV missing, for now)
• Select other promos

I am definitely looking for feedback on these card images and let me know if you find any that aren't working the way they are supposed to, as there are a ton of images here!
If you have any questions/comments/concerns, please let me know. Most of all, have fun!