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^{I have been lurking on reddit for a long time so I can kind of guess the responses I am going to get from this.. but if you want to criticize, please do it in a constructive way, please do not immediately start attacking me or my family. I really need to vent.
And I've titled every part so you can skip those that don't interest you. I've laid as much info as I thought might need to be less biased.}
​
I am 25F, I have a mother (55+), father (60), and a brother (32). I love Liam (26M). We've been friends for 4 years, been in a relationship for about 1.5 years.
I live with my parents. In our culture, living with your parents at my age and taking care of them is normal.
​

Background:

From childhood, my mother has considered me her best friend, and so did I. I used to share EVERYTHING with her, and so did she. She knew all my friends, she knew my all my plans with my friends, she knew when & what I was doing - because I always kept her informed about my whereabouts as she seemed to be mostly cool with it. I considered her pretty open-minded about everything, my friends love her. And from her I knew how shitty our relatives was, some in-depth info about the relationship with her & my father, how she actually feels about my brother (long story), and many other "family" stuff which I doubt any mother tells their daughter.
My father is very chill but very protective of me. He has always been a great father who has always gave me & my brother advises about life in general, in every stage of our life. It is always a delight every time I talk to him about any serious issue. He has had a rough childhood which I feel has made him a wise man he is today. I have always considered him to be calm, kind, and understanding, and I have huge respect for him. I just never had that "best-friend" kind of relationship with him. We do have a good relationship, but just not as close as my mother.
With my brother, it is a bit different. we've never gone past the "joking sibling" phase. Hard to explain - I feel okay to joke around with him, but we've never had any serious convo about anything. We'd share the movies we've seen, share new music we've explored, joke about how the lady next door walks like a sloth - but never about how is his job going or why he is feeling depressed and does he need someone to talk to, or why I am crying because I was overthinking some stuff, or how our childhood went together... we never talk these things which now makes me sad.
Liam is who I love. He has been a great friend from the very beginning, he has helped me in a way I never thought I needed help with. I always had self-image issues, my confidence level was low and for that I wasn't doing very good at my career. It is only him that I got to explore the confidence in me, and this is all before we got into relationship.
​

Where the issue started (as per me):

My view of my mother was always like "she's a victim of injustice and I need to back her up". I always sided with her about everything because the way she usually tells stories, that makes the other person look bad. She has always told me that my father was very doubtful of her when she talked with his male friends, father always got angry when she wanted to spend money on something, other relatives "talked shit" directly to her and they mean bad for her etc. One bad habit of her was this, she used to talk bad about father a lot.
Now, I am not even defending my relatives because I know they're not good people. But for my father.. it was not really believable whenever she said those things, but I believed her anyway. Idk why.
Also my family, ESPECIALLY my mother is very opposed to love marriage. Can't really blame her, she grew up in a way where, at any age, getting invovled romantically with a boy meant a forcefull marriage to another boy which the family chooses for her. It didn't happen with my mother, just pointing it out so you can get an idea of her mindset about love & relationships. She always sees it as a bad thing.
So, as I mentioned earlier, I shared everything with my mother. In 2021, when I first got into relationship with Liam, I thought it'd be cool to share it with my mother. And I did. At first, she was very much acceptable about it. At one point, she straight up told be "I'd happily accept Liam as our son-in-law, i have no problem!" I was beyond happy! Mind you, at that point she didn't even know him, never saw a picture of him.
I used to inform my mother everytime I went with him. She seemed cool with it.
But then idk why, things went south. One day last year, I was about to go out with Liam, and before that my mother was yelling at my brother for some reason. And then suddenly all the heat turned to me. I was the one getting yelled at because I am in a relationship against her will. I was at complete lost. I argued back with her, that he is a good man and you should meet him before coming to any conclusion. She just went nuts. I still went out that day, and after that I stopped sharing everything with her.
A lot of drama has happened after that incident. The very next day, my father, for the first time ever, cried infront of me. Calmly saying "I have shifted my focus from building my career to something detremental and by doing so I have destroyed their dreams" My mother always dreamt that I will get a high paying secure government job, instead I am doing a somewhat good paying job in web development WHICH I LOVE DOING but just in private sector. I am also doing freelancing which adds up to my earning. I have stopped trying for govt jobs because that's really hard to get and I don't want to put all my energy in doing something I don't really want to do. They think I am destroying my career.
​

Current situation:

For the past year, me and Liam were dating in private. His family also didn't know about me, but he always said that his mother & father won't have any problem with our relationship. And it turned out to be true actually, 2 days ago he informed his parents about me and I talked with his mother over a phone call. She made it clear that if me & Liam are sure and think that we can live with each other, they don't have any kind of problem with me.
I told my mother last week about talking to Liam. She agreed but said she will only talk to his parents. I was like "okay" and then arranged a call with them. She talked with his mother, the conversation was going good. At one point I heard she said "Oh I am so greatful that I have a friend now!" and Liam's mother laughed. I was beyond happy that my mother was finally convinced!
But after she put the phone down, she went to trash talk about Liam's mother. "His mother will be viscious mother-in-law, I know it. She will make you (me) work like a slave and I know you will not get to keep your job after marriage. They will make your life hell" so on and so forth.
Before all this, me & Liam have had very long and multiple conversations about all stuff like - if his family has any problem with me working after marriage, if his family expects me to cook for the whole family without any help at first, does his family supports love marriage, will his family expect me to cut ties with my parents after marriage. if his family likes girls at all (he is a single child), how financially stable we need to be in the long terms, how we're going to handle finances, investing and stuff, we've talked about our children, our medical conditions... like all the stuff that we consider is vital for a marriage. So I was pretty clear about him, and so was he.
It baffles me how after 3 days of talking to his mother, my mother still continues to say bitter things about him, his family, his neighbours even, without even knowing him properly! I don't know, I feel to distant with her. I am not angry with her in any way, I truely understand where she's coming from. I am just disappointed in her that she's not even considering that I love him, before saying all that hurtful things.
And my father, he has finally accepted my decision. Though he is not in full support of it, he says to me "Just make sure you're happy afterward. Because that is the only thing my heart wants to see".
​

The part that changed my perception:

During all these situation, I have got to talk with my father a lot. I have realised how much similarity Liam and my father has, which makes my heart warm for some reason.
My father has given me advises that I hope my mother would have gave me. Now that I am considering marrying Liam, my father told about his own experiece after marriage. He told me how understanding we both (Liam & I) have to be in order to have a healthy marriage. How I need to handle the bad days because they are inevitable. How we both should handle different opinions, different views. How I should be respectable to his parents as I am to my parents.. and many other things he told me yesterday.
During which, he mentioned, that jealousy is a valid emotion in a marriage, especially in the beginning. He said, Liam will and have all the rights to get jealous if you spend time with you male friends alone and without his knowledge. And vice versa. An example he gave, how my mother argued with him when he talked to a female infront of my mother, and my mother got sooooo angry that they argued like crazy.
That made my head go upside down.
I always thought my mother was the "open minded" one. SHE was the victim of being doubted with male friends, SHE was the one with whom father would argue because of it.
Mind you, my father don't know about the stuff my mother used to tell. He then continue to told other things also, which then made very much sense to me.
I remember I have heard my mother twist some words about some things to my father, and my father being upset and I never understood why.
I remember she saying about a person that "he's bragging about his son being in medical field so that I can be jealous" to which I thought he was just informing about his son, not bragging, because it was my mother who asked about his son.
Recently, she straight up villainized Liam's mother. Because as per her, Liam's mother rudely said "I don't want your agreement in our children's marriage" which is straight up lie! I was their when they were talking over a phone and the way Liam's mother said it to my mother was "actually I think they are old enough to decide for themselves, and I don't think Liam needs my permission to do what he wants" that was what Liam's mother said.
My mother, after the call, was furious about it. And I said it to her "may be you've misunderstood" and then my mother proceeds to tell me that "Oh now I am the liar?? She's the good one, I am the bad one??" And then smiled sarcastically and went away. I felt so horrible about it.
​

My brother:

There's nothing to mention about him, really. He's a 32 year old, doing everything my mother says, have a unreasonably high temper which gets triggered by smallest things, posts sad content on Facebook and bitches about a neighbors to my mother. That's it.
Unaspiringly he opposes the relationship as well. He had one relation which failed because my mom interfered in his life. The girl wasn't good in my opinion but I think it should have been him to end it all, instead of my mother getting involved unreasonably. He was 26-27 at that time so he should have been more than capable of this.
​

After thought:

I am not villainizing my mother. She is my mother and I love her, very much that I am willing to do everything to care for her and get the life she wanted from her childhood. I look for her when I get back home, I look for her the first thing when I get up in morning, I look for the regular tea breaks in afternoon where we used to gossip about stuff and laugh together.
But I am honestly tired of feeling guilty over the expectation my mother have of me. Overtime, I did something that is out of her expectations, she made sure that I know she's upset. I felt horrible every time, I felt I don't deserve to live even. I have gotten so depressed over it 2 years ago, that I had to take 1 week leave from office just to sit in house and think about how horrible daughters I am.
​
​

Mom, just so you know, I have gotten over it. I have gotten over the guilt that I have trapped myself in for a very long period of time. I might regret my decision to marry Liam against your will in future, or not, I don't know. But I sure as hell know that when the time comes that I have to leave this house, I will miss you. A lot. I cried last night just thinking about a life without your voice, your ocaasional kiss on my forehead, the way you fix my dress before a big event even though we argued prior to that. I know that I care about you from the bottom of my heart, and I hope that one day you see the light in all your dark & negative thoughts. I love you.

So I’ve been battling with both anxiety and depression for the last seven years and last six months, I felt good better than I have in a long long time. But I don’t know what’s going on, but I suddenly feel like nothing is worth it anymore.
I’ve been ignoring everything assignments tests just staying in my room and laying in bed. I even skipped my classes today.
I don’t know if this matters or something, but my closest friend is basically going through a mental breakdown and it just reminds me of myself and the situation I was in a couple of years ago.
And she’s the only person currently that I could talk to because the people I trusted before we’ve kind of lost touch, and I don’t know how to talk to her without making things worse for her.
I wish there is someone I could talk to, but at the same time I have really really bad trust issues and I don’t open up to people. The last person apart from my friends that I let in broke my heart, so people are not really my favourite right now.
I just need something, I don’t know what but I just want to feel better. I was doing so well and I hate feeling so empty. I hate feeling like I don’t care because I care. Just can’t get myself to do anything about it. I don’t know what to do I just want this to go away.
I haven’t felt like this in a year. Even then I didn’t feel this bad. I can’t seem to figure out why I’m just so unaffected by anything rn. I don’t know what triggered me.
I’ve cried all morning and honestly I hate being vulnerable I just don’t want to feel this awful anymore.

https://www.inaturalist.org/taxa/468923-Horvathiolus
Every year in the autumn I see thousands of these on the windows, all hatching within a few days, there seem to be many sub species that are not much identified, in any case, I couldn't find anything about them on the internet and was wondering if people here know.
What do they eat? can they damage crops? their life cycle and so on.

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Certain foods can decrease testosterone levels, leading to a range of negative effects on men's health
​

1. Soy Products: Contain phytoestrogens, which are compounds that mimic estrogen in the body. Studies have shown that men who consume soy products regularly have lower testosterone levels than those who don't.
2. Processed Foods: Contain high amounts of sugar, salt, and unhealthy fats, which can disrupt the balance of hormones in the body. Lower testosterone levels in men can be a consequence of this situation.
3. Alcohol can also lower testosterone levels in men. Studies have shown that even moderate drinking can have negative effects on testosterone production.
4. Mints known for its refreshing taste, but it can also lower testosterone levels. This is because mint contains menthol, which has been shown to have anti-androgenic effects, meaning it can interfere with the production of testosterone.
5. Licorice Root: Has been used by many cultures for centuries as a natural remedy. It possesses a unique range of health benefits and is still widely utilized today. However, studies have shown that licorice root can lower testosterone levels in men.
6. Vegetable Oils: Such as canola, soybean, and corn oil, can lower testosterone levels in men. This is because they are high in polyunsaturated fats, which can interfere with testosterone production.
7. Flaxseed is a popular health food that is high in omega-3 fatty acids and fiber. However, studies have shown that flaxseed can lower testosterone levels in men.

Hi everyone! I’m an experienced cat owner, and my baby sadly passed away a few months ago. My best friend has moved into an apartment for a few months that isn’t cat friendly, so I was happy to take in her kitten for the time being. He’s a few months old, maybe 5 or 6? I know that kittens can be a lot but I adopted my own cat when she was over a year old, so I had no idea that kittens can be such a handful.
He’s a male ginger, recently neutered. There are a few problems that I’m experiencing and I’m seeking advice on how I can handle him a little better:

1. He meows constantly, and they’re those long, whiney meows. That’s why my friend adopted him, because he was so loud at the shelter that he grabbed her attention. I give him loads of attention and playtime, treats and the works but when I’m not paying him attention, or even when I do, he’s meowing. Is there something I’m doing wrong or not paying attention to?
   
2. He keeps jumping on counters and tries to eat whatever I’m cooking or eating. He also tries to drink water out of dishes in the sink. (I make sure there’s always food and water in his bowl, so he’s not starving). He’s also ripped a hole in the bottom of my couch, keeps jumping into it and lies in the material that he’s ripped, making the hole bigger. How can I gently discipline him so that he knows he shouldn’t do this? I’m not a fan of a spray bottle as I’ve read that this can have negative effects on cats. I keep taking him off the counters and from under the couch as soon as he jumps up but he just does it over and over. I have a little cat tent, so he has a safe spot to lie in if that’s what he was looking for with the hole in the couch. He uses it occasionally.
   

I’m just wondering if this behaviour is something I’ll have to wait out, or if anyone has any advice on how I can prevent these things from happening? TIA!

As someone who has been using social media daily for years (as most of young people who have regular access to internet & social media) I can't help but notice how fake and deceptive is most of the popular content (not just social media content, but media in general). I think people should regularly be reminded that what they see is not the real world. Social media, its unspoken rules, its "culture" are all fake. Moreover social media extremely encourages herd mentality. Imagine how could people's opinions be shaped by shaping the majority of visible opinions in media and social media. But as long as one is selective and cautious and does not follow herd mentality social media can be used in a very constructive way just don't see it as reality but a tool to explore reality and think critically. Examples: many trolls, a huge amount of negativity especially on Instagram and probably on tiktok (never used it but I think the situation is similar if not worse), too many staged, fake acts of kindness, just overall too much manipulation and negativity which can make people think world is really like that and that being kind & empathetic is only for seeking attention or it can just make people indifferent and distract from issues. Don't misubderand me though. I have been lucky and used social media to find valuable friends, learn valuable information and it shaped my entire life. But the popular content is the way I just described.

Hey everyone! Please give me your honest advice and input on this situation.
Two or three years ago I (25M) met a handsome guy (25M) randomly at a neighbors party and pointed him out to my straight friends as a bi guy. They didn’t believe me, but later that evening we hooked up. He pulled back the following few days & weeks but we started hanging out a lot, we both made out with a female friend together and would occasionally do the same or slightly more in select situations that summer (often while drinking). Since then, we’ve become the closest of friends in all ways except physical or romantic. We’ll sleep in the same bed, spend afternoons golfing, days doing whatever with friends, but on my end there is a bubbling up of romantic attraction.
Since we’ve met, I lost a bit of weight (straight normal seems to be gay fat) and started to excel in my career and now have many options for guys— but I don’t feel like many of them fit as well as he does- at least in my perception. I bring it to Reddit (lol) because I think it’s hard to see one’s own situation neutrally.
My friend is very suave, handsome, charming, caring and so fun to be around but His downside is that he isn’t employed full time (for a few years despite having opportunity). I sense he has a bit of a confidence issue because of that. He prefers to hang out with friends at their home and can’t afford to travel (which I do a lot) but He takes care of his toddler nephew nearly full time— something that has made me see so much beauty in him because of how clearly he loves him.
I am solid enough in my own career & finances that that doesn’t really matter to me anyway at least in the short/mid term, although he is also studying and working towards getting a job in healthcare and is on a massive self-improvement kick.
Nevertheless he in the 2.5 years I’ve known him become truly one of the most genuinely kind people I know, and is very affectionate. We’re both talking about how it’s almost gardening season when we spend a lot of time in my yard working and are looking forward to it. We’ve been playing golf together at least once a week since snow was off the ground, and hang out every weekend with our friends.
In short, we have a very wholesome friendship but after multiple flare ups, I find myself once again hoping for more.
We’re both more on the masc side and in some ways have more of an uphill battle talking about our romantic feelings overall but this weekend he opened up to me about how he was in love with a man a few months ago and it got me thinking….
For other context I am the type of gay that no one’s necessarily knows if I’m gay or not- so I tell them, and he’s the type of bi only gay guys know and will go after women more frequently by chance. All the same, he tells me after parties that he’s not interested in this or that guy and is trying to be celibate and would only have sex with someone who he really has feelings for. He is so insistent I find it almost like he doesn’t want me to be jealous or concerned, but I’m not an impartial observer like you, the reader.
I’ve gotten myself into a confusing friends or friends and more situation and again deeply appreciate your time reading my full description and your advice on how to proceed.
It could be 50/50 with high stakes on either side of the odds. Let me know what you think and how you’d proceed.
Good luck on your own endeavors, thanks for helping me with mine 🥂

Mind you, I was born in 2004. Considering that, I think I did quite well. Anyone, I invite you to listen to the song and count all of the events you know that are mentioned in the song, let's see how you do on the ultimate test of historic knowledge

Hi there! (Is C.C./Feedback the right flair?)
So for the past few months, I've been working on a board game that combines elements of wargames and 4X games. The game is 2-player only at the moment, but I'll probably look into 4-player integration further into development.
Throughout the game, players control their own medieval empire, which seeks to expand their territory and kill the enemy. There are multiple ways to win the game, but I'll ignore this for now.
The board is composed of hex tiles, some of which have special properties. There are water tiles where units must build bridges to pass over. There are resource hexes like Forests and Fields, where players can collect resources like Wood and Food respectively. These resources can be used to build settlements and train armies.
Speaking of armies, each player's army is composed of 'units.' Each unit has an HP count, representing the damage it can take before it is destroyed. They also have a certain amount of action points called 'Energy' which can be used to move, attack other units, and use special abilities. Oh yeah, there's also types, which are essentially the class of unit it is, like a Polearm, Bow, or Cavalry unit.
Each attack has its own type, denoting the type of damage it does. For example, a Bow type unit will use a Bow type attack. The purpose of the types is to denote the strengths and weaknesses of a certain unit, like how a Polearm unit will decimate nearby Cavalry units and how it would be defenseless against Bow units.
Overall, I find unit types integral to the flow of the game. I want the game to be heavily focused on strategy, meaning that players should have to make the right choices and play the right unit types to gain an advantage. Sort of like Pokemon and their types, if you want a comparison. But right now, I'm having a game design roadblock where I can't decide on what mechanics to use for this strengths/weaknesses concept. Currently, I do have a mechanic on how dice are used in calculating damage, which can be found at this link. Hopefully, this gives you a general idea of the way I imagine strengths and weaknesses will work. The only problem is that I don't know if this would work on a massive scale. It would definitely take a long time to (1) decipher the cryptic rulebook, (2) roll the correct dice, (3) calculate the damage according to the dice, (4) add damage counters to the targeted unit, and repeat this 50 or so times in a single game. It just seems like a lot. I want the game to be as newbie-friendly as possible, and this will certainly discourage them from playing.
Any help is greatly appreciated, and if there are other subreddits I can post this to, that would be appreciated as well! And if you would like to follow the game's development, DM me and I'll share the Trello board with you. It's a working mess in progress :)

m22, been doing art freelance for the past two years, seen some progress but generally just unsure how to go about achieving the goals i have for it. If i had to say my long-term goal, it would be the ability to still enjoy drawing whilst at the same time being able to support myself and those around me. A pretty generic goal with a very ambiguous way of going about completing it, which has led to many nights feeling paralyzed over not knowing whats the next step that i should take to ensure im making progress on it.
Unlike traditional jobs, in the grand scheme of things there is no big red arrow pointing towards a pay-raise, promotion,steps to the new big goal, etc. because its all just me, nobody else to hold my hand through this thing, and while im not afraid of the instability that can come with this, i am unsure what my next steps are. Of course ive done several things to figure out how to, but some days i just come up empty, like nothing ill ever do now will help me make it to the next step. Maybe thats on me for making a goal i know i cant achieve, but i dont know any other way to describe it then how ive done so already, so yeah, thats how i feel rn.

I live in an apartment building, and the weirdest thing has been happening. For months now, our two bathroom sink drains act like they’re clogged, but only during the day. Water will pool after we wash our hands, etc, sit for hours and very slowly drain, which is very annoying. But, like clockwork, every evening, the drains will go back to functioning normally, and when we wash our hands, water will drain immediately. If it helps, the sinks are on either side of a wall.
We have NO idea what’s causing this phenomenon or how to go about fixing it, so any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks!

I am usually pretty productive and take care of myself, but I have come to realize I don’t really do it for me. I do it so I am more desirable to others. And the only reason I enjoy it is because of the validation I will gain. The only reason I am productive and take care of myself is to gain validation from those which I want validation from. We are social creatures, whats the point in doing anything for myself? why do I care to be attractive or ambitious for my self? I already know I am capable, I have nothing to prove to myself. I just want to find my person, someone on the same wavelength as me, who I am virtually perfectly compatible with. someone who can comfort me and give me purpose. I have my flaws, but I am capable, I am intelligent, I am attractive, I am a go-getter, yet I feel purposeless without having somebody to do it all for. How can I become less reliant on others for my happiness? I feel like there is a void of loneliness I need to fill, by means of a significant other, and I hate it

Three years i kept myself ready for his return. For three years, even being around this man, i had no idea it was him....or the others. I readied myself. I constipated myself so that i could keep myself stretched. I masturbated while releasing the large constipated bms, just as i had been instructed. Always ready.
He never came.
I spent decades looking into every passing vehicle, every semi, every diesel engine. Waiting. Waiting for their return like they promised.
Always be on the ready. You are our toy. Created for our amusement, our benefit. My existence was purpose based.
I cant even eat an ice cream cone in public.... or even in my car, anywhere someone can see.
Everything is sexualized. Everything. From how i glance around, eye contact as i lift the fork to my mouth. The way i hold a flashlight, the limp strength of my wrist.
Pickles..... i core then with my tongue. I slurp and do that slurp with my moutb half open, bubbles tickling whatever is in my mouth.
How i bend down to pick something up...... everything is sexualized.
They told us to practice. Most of the times it goes unnoticed. I also dont stick around long for people to see..... but they do. I catch the linger. The eye contact....thats glued to my lips. They see.
Ive worked hard to reduce the pulses to find their energies.
Knowing someones kinks before they do..... knowing how to get in, how to work them to my favour. Its a skill i have, a skill i work hard not to use. I do not want a married man looking at me. I do not want another man to tell me that they'd happily risk it all for a session with me. I hate them. I hate them for being so disrespectful. I.hate the very same who want..... who they think i am, but so far removed from who i actually am.
I dont pulse 100% anymore. I can go outside now.... pulsing for danger, rather than sex, rather than whatever dirty deed they are hiding, are wanting.
Randy...... Randy sold me. Randy groomed me. Randy drowned me. Randy took me.
My first love......