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Undoubtedly, Artificial Intelligence (AI) is a revolutionary field of computer science, which is ready to become the main component of various emerging technologies like big data, robotics, and IoT. It will continue to act as a technological innovator in the coming years. In just a few years, AI has become a reality from fantasy. Machines that help humans with intelligence are not just in sci-fi movies but also in the real world. At this time, we live in a world of Artificial Intelligence that was just a story though for some years.
We are using AI technology in our daily lives either unknowingly or knowingly, and somewhere it has become a part of our life. Ranging from Alexa/Siri to Chatbots, everyone is carrying AI in their daily routine. The development and evolution of this technology are happening at a rapid pace. However, it was not as smooth and easy as it seemed to us. It has taken several years and lots of hard work & contributions of various people to take AI at this stage. Being so revolutionary technology, AI also deals with many controversies about its future and impact on Human beings. It may be dangerous, but also a great opportunity. AI will be deployed to enhance both defensive and offensive cyber operations. Additionally, new means of cyber-attack will be invented to take advantage of particular vulnerabilities of AI technology.
This topic will discuss the future of AI and its impact on human life, i.e., whether it is a great technology or a threat to humans.

Artificial Intelligence (AI) at Present

Before going deep dive into AI in future, first, let's understand what is Artificial Intelligence and at what stage it is at present. We can define AI as, "It is the ability of machines or computer-controlled robot to perform task that are associated with intelligence." So, AI is computer science, which aims to develop intelligent machines that can mimic human behaviour.
Based on capabilities, AI can be divided into three types that are:

• Narrow AI: It is capable of completing dedicated tasks with intelligence. The current stage of AI is narrow AI.
• General AI: Artificial General Intelligence or AGI defines the machines that can show human intelligence.
• Super AI: Super AI refers to self-aware AI with cognitive abilities that surpass that of humans. It is a level where machines can do any task that a human can do with cognitive properties.

At the current stage, AI is known as Narrow AI or Weak AI, which can only perform dedicated tasks. For example, self-driving cars, speech recognition, etc.
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Myths about Advanced Artificial Intelligence

1. Superintelligence by the year 2100 is not possible.

The reality about the possibility of superintelligence is that currently, we can't determine it. It may occur in decades, or centuries, or may never, but nothing is confirmed. There have been several surveys in which AI researchers have been asked how many years from now they think we will have human-scale AI with at least a 50% chance. All of these surveys have the same conclusion: The world's leading experts disagree, so we don't know. For example, in such a survey of AI researchers at the 2015 Puerto Rico AI conference, the (average) answer was by 2045, but some researchers estimated hundreds of years or more.

2. I will replace all human jobs.

It's certainly true that the advent of AI and automation has the potential to disrupt labour seriously - and in many situations, it is already doing just that. However, seeing this as a straightforward transfer of labour from humans to machines is a vast oversimplification.
With the development of AI, a revolution has come in industries of every sector, and people fear losing jobs with the increased development of AI. But in reality, AI has come up with more jobs and opportunities for people in every sector. Every machine needs a human being to operate it. However, AI has taken over some roles, but it reverts to producing more jobs for people.

3. Super-intelligent computers will become better than humans at doing anything we can do

As discussed above, AI can be divided into three types, Weak AI, which can perform specific tasks, such as weather Prediction. General AI; Capable of performing the task as a human can do, Super AI; AI capable of performing any task better than human.
At present, we are using weak AI that performs a particular task and improves its performance. On the other hand, general AI and Super AI are not yet developed, and researches are going on. They will be capable of doing different tasks similar to human intelligence. However, the development of such AI is far away, and it will take years or centuries to create such AI applications. Moreover, the efficiency of such AI, whether it will be better than humans, is not predictable at the current stage.

4. AI does not require human intervention.

People also have a misconception that AI does not need any human intervention. But the fact is that AI is not yet developed to take their own decisions. A machine learning engineespecialist is required to pre-process the data, prepare the models, prepare a training dataset, identify the bias and variance and eliminate them, etc. Each AI model is still dependent on humans. However, once the model is prepared, it improves its performance on its own from the experiences.

How can Artificial Intelligence be risky?

Most of the researchers agree that super AI cannot show human emotions such as Love, hate or kindness. Moreover, we should not expect an AI to become intentionally generous or spiteful. Further, if we talk about AI to be risky, there can be mainly two scenarios, which are:

1. AI is programmed to do something destructive:

Autonomous weapons are artificial intelligence systems that are programmed to kill. In the hands of the wrong person, these weapons could easily cause mass casualties. Moreover, an AI arms race could inadvertently lead to an AI war resulting in mass casualties. To avoid being dissatisfied with the enemy, these weapons would be designed to be extremely difficult to "turn off," so humans could plausibly lose control of such a situation. This risk is present even with narrow AI but grows as levels of AI intelligence and autonomy increase.

2. Misalignment between our goals and machines:

The second possibility of AI as a risky technology is that if intelligent AI is designed to do something beneficial, it develops destructive results. For example, Suppose we ask the self-driving car to "take us at our destination as fast as possible." The machine will immediately follow our instructions. It may be dangerous for human lives until we specify that traffic rules should also be followed and we value human life. It may break traffic rules or meet with an accident, which was not really what we wanted, but it did what we have asked to it. So, super-intelligent machines can be destructive if they ask to accomplish a goal that doesn't meet our requirements.

Future impact of AI in different sectors

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Healthcare:

AI will play a vital role in the healthcare sector for diagnosing diseases quickly and more accurately. New drug discovery will be faster and cost-effective with the help of AI. It will also enhance the patient engagement in their care and also make ease appointment scheduling, bill paying, with fewer errors. However, apart from these beneficial uses, one great challenge of AI in healthcare is to ensure its adoption in daily clinical practices.

Cyber security:

Undoubtedly, cyber security is a priority of each organization to ensure data security. There are some predictions that cyber security with AI will have below changes:

• With AI tools, security incidents will be monitored.
• Identification of the origin of cyber-attacks with NLP.
• Automation of rule-based tasks and processes with the help of RPA bots.

However, being a great technology, it can also be used as a threat by attackers. They can use AI in a non-ethical way by using automated attacks that may be intangible to defend.

Transportation:

The fully autonomous vehicle is not yet developed in the transportation sector, but researchers are reaching in this field. AI and machine learning are being applied in the cockpit to help reduce workload, handle pilot stress and fatigue, and improve on-time performance. There are several challenges to the adoption of AI in transportation, especially in areas of public transportation. There's a great risk of over-dependence on automatic and autonomous systems.

E-commerce:

Artificial Intelligence will play a vital role in the e-commerce sector shortly. It will positively impact each aspect of the e-commerce sector, ranging from user experience to marketing and distribution of products. We can expect e-commerce with automated warehouse and inventory, shopper personalization, and the use of chatbots in future.

Employment:

Nowadays, employment has become easy for job seekers and simple for employers due to the use of Artificial Intelligence. AI has already been used in the job search market with strict rules and algorithms that automatically reject an employee's resume if it does not fulfil the requirement of the company. It is hoping that the employment process will be driven by most AI-enabled applications ranging from marking the written interviews to telephonic rounds in the future.
For jobseekers, various AI applications are helping build awesome resumes and find the best job as per your skills, such as Rezi, Jobseeker, etc.
Apart from above sectors, AI has great future in manufacturing, finance & banking, entertainment, etc.

I've never been good at expressing myself or how I feel due to the stigma and outlandish nature and severity of some of my issues. But in the short 19 years I've been alive, I've never told anyone the things I've done, or the things others have done to me in an attempt to take them to my grave. But seeing as I outlived the life expectancy I imagined, I figured typing it out would allow me to let go of it and feel better because I feel horrible. So, without further stalling, I think I'll just hop into it, starting at the beginning.
When I was little, I lived a life similar to what I'm accustomed to now. Alone and fairly lonely, the few friends I had were due to being more well-adjusted or, at the very least, less fucked up. In addition, one of my friends was the child of my mother's best friend, and we were about the same age. The earliest memory I have is when I was 4 years old and something I can't remember happened. I was upset about something, and my mom left me in the room to cry while she went and played with my friend. While this situation has little relevance today, I think it's a good example of the catalyst that drove my behavior all through my life to what it is now, mainly my relationship with my mom, along with others we'll get to later.
My mother was not the nicest to me, and as I grew older, I would learn how much of an understatement that was. So skip forward a couple of years due to my memory and the irrelevancy of them to the story. Basically, I was a normal-ish kid with a few friends here and there who occasionally got in trouble, for which I almost always got my ass kicked, but who didn't? Jumping back in at around 9 years old, I was in the third grade, probably my favorite year in school due to having met my best friends and getting along with most other kids. The abuse had already taken hold at this age; I was already pretty apathetic to most feelings and never smiled. It was so noticeable that when I finally did smile, a girl at lunch pointed it out like she had seen a unicorn. But I wasn't depressed; I was just angry and didn't know how to express myself.
As a result, I got into more trouble, some of it BS, some of it not, such as my music teacher sending me to the principal for mouthing curse words while quietly talking to myself. In my defense, I wasn't talking about her; I was all the way in the back and didn't know the ambiguous individual could read lips. In fifth grade, I had a female teacher and her assistant whom I disliked because the teacher, in my opinion, was a dick and her assistant would constantly misinterpret what I said as if I were speaking Japanese. She asked me for a paper, and it being a round table, I didn't want to bend all the way across the table to slide her the paper. So I slid the paper gently across the table, and, as anticlimactic as it sounds, the paper slowly made its way to her, and she did not even attempt to grab it or stop it. Instead, she let it fall on the floor and claimed I "threw" it at her. I got sent to my homie at this point, the principal (she wasn't my biggest fan either).
These two incidents led to some of the worst ass beatings I've received at this point in my life. I would later come home to my mom, who is about 2.5 times bigger and stronger than me, and she was furious. I was punched in my chest and thrown into a stool on the ground, followed by a merciless beating with a belt, and left alone to stare at a wall, wallowing in my sadness. I think I could have handled the physical abuse, but the most damaging was the mental and verbal abuse. I would be forced to strip down to my t-shirt and underwear and stand at the door for hours. while she faked phone calls to my relatives, telling them to come get me and that I'd be leaving, before telling me to go sit down. I was constantly threatened with my life if I didn't comply, told I was a worthless "father less individual", etc. I would yell and scream so loudly that apparently our neighbors could hear it, which led to DCFS being called.
How it was explained to me was that the lady next door was crazy (even though we knew her kid, who was like 2 years younger and went to the same school), and the DCFS agent would take me away to a horrible place, a foster home. My mother told me that if that were the case, I wouldn't be placed with my other family members; nope, straight to the government. She came in my room a week before the agent to "warn" me of the dangers I might face if I snitched on her. She made me watch an hour-long documentary about people who were abused by the staff of foster homes, drilling into my head that if I ended up there, the other kids would pick on me and steal from me. That the staff would repeatedly molest (she had a weird thing with this one; I was asked about it every other day if "someone was playing with my butt" completely unprompted from 3rd to 6th grade) me and my toe would be eaten by mice as she claimed happened to my cousin (apparently he needed his toe graphed back on but I never confirmed this with him).
All of this terrified me, so when the time came to nut up or shut up, my nuts retracted back upstairs, and I most definitely shut up big time. Unable to process my emotions, they started manifesting in anger, which led to me being excluded from certain events at school like the outdoor fun day. I had to stay inside while everyone else played. The principal told me that she was going easy on me, and had she been following the rules, I'd have been expelled from elementary school already (I did get suspended though). When it came time to visit the middle school near the end of the year, I had to beg them to let me go because apparently my reputation preceded me, and the middle school principal knew who I was and asked me not to come because of my behavior. My mother had an overwhelming amount of control over my life and others that I would only learn about when I was older (she was responsible for me being in the same class as my best friend 3rd through 5th grade and making sure they served food I would eat on an out-of-state field trip so I wouldn't starve). (It's not really negative, but it sets the tone for how it would soon turn negative.)
Sixth grade rolled around, but this time I got to stay with my great-grandmother in the south. The entire time away from my mother and I improved significantly; I made a lot more friends (probably because of southern hospitality) and overall had a good time (trust me, it was an oddly cool school with equally cool teachers) except for a couple other issues that came with living with my grandma. I returned the next year to mom and a new middle school. All that progress from earlier, yeah, went straight out the window almost immediately. My anger had subsided, and what was left developed into a deep depression and resentment for people, my mom included. I thought people were worthless, making friends useless, so I went out of my way to avoid most people for the longest time. Until I succumbed to my social urges and made a few friends by avoiding the lunch room and eating in one of the science classes with some kids I had other classes with. During this time, I was reluctantly in "therapy" (I had been there since elementary, just talking to social workers, but nothing came of it until now).
Trouble would always seem to follow me; anytime a message was relayed from the school to mom, it almost guaranteed an ass beating. I would seemingly get in trouble for nothing, and my teachers would unknowingly be sending me on my way down death row to meet the executioner. Once I got in trouble for "throwing" another paper. I didn't realize we needed it and put it in the recycling, but the teacher saw it and told me to keep it, so I put it under my seat, and it fell through the bars of my chair basket while I wasn't looking, and she was mad at me for it. I also told my math teacher to "stop harassing me" because every 5 minutes she was hounding me about completing some work I had no intention of doing. That mistake was damn near fatal because, for some reason, I wasn't allowed to feel harassed, and telling my teacher that was apparently way out of pocket. I should also mention I had good grades up until I eventually began failing them.
All of this leads to more violent abuse. I was shoved into a wall, which hurt my arm so bad I needed an ice pack (and had to lie to the nurse about why I needed it). The next day, I was repeatedly hit with a broom, picked up by my collar, and slammed into walls before being thrown on the ground. The physical pain would subside in hours, but because what was done and said to me never left, I would almost always be left to sit and stare alone with my thoughts, and because of this, my mental state would degrade rapidly. Nothing else could bring me to tears like the pain of the person responsible for your entire life, who was supposed to love you unconditionally, constantly tormenting you. Her words would pierce and sting, while the same thing said to me by anyone else would roll off me like water off a duck's back.
Unable to escape the constant beratement, and depending on the severity, this would send me into suicidal spirals, and when I hit emotional rock bottom and couldn't feel any worse about myself, it was the only thing I looked forward to and all I thought about for months. When people asked me, "NT (Me), what are you going to be when you grow up?" or "NT, you're getting older. Have you thought about what you're going to do when you reach x (usually 18+) years old?" I had no idea, no answer. In my mind, living to be older than 16 seemed impossible. They were right when they said time would fly by. Back at school, the stress was getting to me. During a random game of Uno, I broke down and expressed some of my feelings, along with the fact that I was almost getting my ass beat with random objects on a weekly basis.
This ultimately led to no improvements in my life, just more people in my business. The process of them trying to help was akin to getting a law passed, full of procedures and red tape they had to follow because there was no physical evidence—I had no cuts, bruises, or wounds they could see. All they had to go on was the testimony of an emotionally disturbed preteen. They recommended I be placed in a mental hospital. I stayed after school while they called my dad to pick me up, and the car ride was silent until we arrived at the hospital. He asked, "Do you want to go in?" I said, "Yeah," and he couldn't figure out why he said I had it easy as a child. Because all I had to worry about was school and I had no bills to pay, I shouldn't have any reason to kill myself. I was essentially overreacting to him. So we went home.
Because I'm about to enter the next arc of my story. I'll share some extra fun facts that aren't directly related to the story, but I'd be remiss if I didn't. Our principal told us we had too many students for what the building was originally intended for. One day, while walking up the narrow stairs in between a crowd of kids rushing for their lockers, I was knocked over and trampled. I had at least two feet up my ass, one in my back, and one on top of my head, and I couldn't get up because no one could see me. Not long after, a teacher had to stop them from walking up the stairs so I could get up. When I got to my locker, the person whose locker was next to mine casually mentioned the trampling, and to be honest, it had only happened 30 seconds before, so I was pretty blown when she said that (I looked at her like, yeah, ambiguous individual, that was me y'all were just stepping on) and I told her, "Yeah, that was me." But let's not forget the time two of my classmates were fucking around playfighting and threw each other in such a way that the dude kicked me in the face. I sat in the same spot on the wall while waiting for my teacher, and, believe it or not, lightning does strike twice, because they were fucking around again and kicked me in the face in nearly the same way. This was an advisory class we had only once a week, and to make a long story even longer, I learned not to sit next to that wall anymore.
I began high school at the age of 14 and remained largely unchanged during this time. I still couldn't talk to anyone and dealt with the stress of going home to my mom, which significantly impacted how I behaved and how my grades would turn out at first. I had almost all A's before spiraling downward; at that point, I stopped caring what others thought of me and did whatever I could to make myself feel better. I would sleep in hallways on the floor, skip class, and do little to no work. I couldn't concentrate and wasn't worried about the consequences of my decisions until I graduated. The food in my house would run short, and my mom always told me if I ate it all before she went back to the grocery store, she wouldn't buy any more. I started skipping meals and eating less per meal to stretch the food we had, and at times I couldn't move without being doubled over in pain.
I was confined to my room almost constantly. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere but school, a couple of nearby restaurants, and back home. I couldn't leave my house if I wanted to hang out with friends (if only I had any) because I had to be in her presence at all times. I hypothesized about going to hang out with a female friend and was told I wouldn't be allowed to without her following behind us (I was 17 when I asked). If I wanted to hang out with a male friend, they had to go through a background check of sorts (it was easier to get a gun card than to get some friends I could hang with). I had to get their parents' phone numbers so she could talk to them, and then she would decide whether or not I could go, which wasn't even a guarantee. Imagine you're in school, and a kid who wants to be friends with you tells you they need your parents to talk to each other and give their permission. That's embarrassing. I would imagine I'd be laughed at and made fun of, or they wouldn't go through all the trouble for someone who was already known as an incredibly strange individual, so most of the time I never tried out of fear of this.
I had no way to cope surrounded by people, and knowing what some of them might think of me, I would put my head down for weeks in every class because at this point I was genuinely terrified of people. I had developed selective mutism and would not talk to 98 percent of students and about 80 to 90 percent of staff; when I did, it was in short, vague sentences and almost only when spoken to. Up until I was 15, the abuse continued the same as before, but as I got older, it became more Physical I had mostly stopped getting hit with belts, and when I did get hit, it was in the arm and chest, with the occasional hit in the mouth. I'd be backed into a corner while my mother yelled the most vile and hurtful things at me. I was told I ruined her life and that I kept her from having a life. If I ever lost my keys, I would immediately be in trouble, but if I lied about it, that was even worse. My mom worked from home before it was cool to work from home, so she was almost constantly home. If I had lied about having my keys, I would have been locked out of the house for hours until she finished working, rain or shine; snowing and cold; hot and humid; it didn't matter. But that mostly stopped when the damage it did to me became apparent, and I had a psychotic episode.
My mother was upset with me for some reason and was yelling loudly about how worthless I was, that she wished I was never born, and so on. (At this point, I was the most miserable I'd been in a long time. My mental state was comparable to the fragility of a ceramic plate: solid, sturdy, and functional. Just pray to God you don't drop it if you'd like it to remain intact.) I became late because I had misplaced my hat, but when I told her I had it in my pocket, she said, "Let me see it then; why is it not on your head? Put it on!" So I began looking for my hat in my bookbag, and when I found it, she snatched it from my grasp and smacked me on the head with it. I felt something click inside me, like a light switch being turned on. Without warning, I began having a psychotic breakdown. I put my hands on my head and started screaming as loud as I could uncontrollably, "I can't take it! I can't take it anymore," repeatedly while frantically shuffling like a chicken with its head cut off in front of my mom. I had no control over my actions, and my mother stopped me and pulled my hands off my head, but I wouldn't stop screaming, and she had to calm me down in order for me to stop. It was terrifying for the both of us because I think it was the first time she had ever seen anything like that, and it was the first time I ever did anything like that. The feeling was terrifying almost indescribable the closest comparison I could make is to the tea cup scene from get out. I felt like I got yanked out my body while simultaneously remaining in there like my soul was trapped behind my eyes and all I could do is watch.
After that experience, my mother began to soften her stance toward me, and the big 19 began, so I had virtual classes for about two years that I never finished, but I persevered and eventually graduated (while failing a significant number of classes), and when I did, I was enrolled in an alternative school. When I was eighteen, me and my mom got into an argument because I didn't want to go back to school. It was boring and sad because there were only two or three kids in my class, and we did elementary school work all day. There were no phones, we had to wear uniforms, and free time was scarce. The only slightly good part was that we worked a couple hours a day and they paid us. But it was only four dollars an hour, and we worked two hours each day unless you were in the special work program, which meant you worked two extra hours after school. With the long cab ride there, I'd get home around 5:30 to 6:00 every day, only to wake up at 8 a.m. and do it all over again. But we agreed that if I found a job before school resumed, I wouldn't have to go. I had a week and a half to do it.
I applied everywhere and even made it all the way through orientation at one place, but I was in a factory doing 12 hour shifts and about 4 miles from my house, so I turned it down because I was scared and had to be realistic because walking multiple miles through areas I'd never been to daily was just too much for me. I was told I had to leave if I wasn't working or going to school, and I couldn't stay the night. I was kicked out after calling my grandparents, who said I could stay with them. I packed two weeks worth of clothes and walked over there. The first few weeks were weird, but I finally saw the light at the end of the world's darkest and longest tunnel. For the first time in years, I knew what it was like to not be abused and verbally assaulted on a daily basis. But, unfortunately, I was beyond repair, at least on my own. I searched for a job and tried to enroll in college, but I was never taught or allowed to do that growing up. I was raised indoors and was never taught the skills needed to survive outside. I still didn't know how to talk to people, and I was terrified of them. I would have panic attacks a couple times a month and rely on others to feed and clothe me. I was wearing the same two weeks worth of clothes for several months until my great-grandmother sent me more.
Around this time I started smoking weed, and it was amazing how those first times getting high were the best and made me forget all about my problems and truly relax. But I didn't know what I was getting into and developed an exponentially growing habit. I started taking fake Xanax and getting slumped while I went about my day high as a kite. Just to forget about the majority of what I did the following day. The only reason my Xan problem didn't get out of hand was that I kept losing all of the pills after a few times, so I stopped buying them. But it was too late when I exhausted the small amount I had and began withdrawing. Let me tell you, like anyone else who has dealt with Xan withdrawals will tell you, they are not to be played with; hell isn't even a good enough comparison. It's something I truly wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. (My mom excluded.) I had severe paranoia, extreme agitation, a splitting headache that wouldn't quit, and panic attacks frequently (plus a strong urge to KMS as well, which is normal at this point). But I was lucky: Xanax is the only drug that can kill you by going cold turkey, and if your body became physically dependent, you were more than likely to have multiple seizures coming your way.
My replacement for Xanax was fake Mallinckrodt pills, aka dirty 30s, blues, perc 30s, or whatever name you used or knew they were synonymous with fentanyl or worse. (Believe me when I say they most definitely make things worse than fent) I'm confident I got worse because they didn't test positive for fent, which means its something the test couldn't detect. I turned full junkie and was smoking them off foil before I was 19. I overdosed twice going to sleep, and I was never confident if I was going to wake up. The opioid withdrawals are 100x easier than the Xans, and I was smoking drugs stronger than fentanyl. I quit those, and not too long after, I was taking fake ecstasy pills and Molly capsules, which, aside from the slight stimulant psychosis and vomiting, were probably my favorites. They let me experience happiness for the first time and gave me the ability to communicate and interact with other people. It felt like I'd been missing something my entire life.
Now I'm 19 on the cusp of being a broke "adult" with no real skills, aspirations, or anything positive going for him. This year I discovered while in high school I was diagnosed with autism, ADHD, ODD, social anxiety disorder, and antisocial personality disorder, all while attending school, and nobody ever told me or hinted at it to me in the slightest at all. I guess they just wanted me to cruise through life ignorant and struggling. I'm constantly reminded of how much of a burden I am because I can't do much more than take care of myself. I hide it somewhat well due to my lifelong fear of being mistaken for insane, but it takes an enormous amount of effort to even get out of bed and make something to eat. In order to keep the invasive thoughts and feelings away, I have to keep myself entertained and amused all day or else the feelings come rushing back. I honestly hate my life. I have little to look forward to and regret my almost entire life due to me ruining any chance at fun I had growing up because of how I behaved. I can barely leave my house, and if I go anywhere beyond a couple of blocks, I have panic attacks and get extreme anxiety that effects me physically. I feel my ability to comprehend and understand things slowing down. It's harder to focus and pay attention, and I feel almost like an alien when I'm around other people.
Recently, I had a phone call with my mom and had a panic attack (we haven't spoken in 2 years since I was put out). It was just like old times, when she was mad at me about a misunderstanding and was yelling and screaming about how I don't care that I'm wasting her money. (she bought my phone as a gift on a payment plan when I turned 18) As an adult I felt extremely disrespected by the things she said so before my mental health suffered anymore I hung up mid sentence and blocked her. The next day my phone was bricked and completely unusable, as it was technically not paid for, so somebody had to get me a new phone. Today I feel extremely hopeless towards any chance of repairing my life. I don't know what to do and I wish I did. I wish I could shake this dead man walking feeling I've got. Throughout the day, life doesn't even feel real at times. I feel as though if I keep hanging in there, eventually someone's going to find me hanging from somewhere. I don't know how my relatives do it. I could never imagine being their age. This isn't everything that's ever happened to me (I know it's hard to believe), but I feel I've described my story as concisely as possible in a semi-chronological order. Anything else would just be extra or I'd be repeating myself. With all that being said, my think noodle is hurting, and I think (clearly I do too much of this) I need to find it some dopamine. I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this fully because, as God knows, I can't tell a living soul who knows me this. Night. -NT

disclaimer. the age gap has never been an issue, we met as consenting adults & both have full time jobs and pay bills. (i still understand concern but trust me it’s fine)
my bf is a very emotional and traumatised person, which is why i completely understand why he turns to drugs and alcohol and i do not judge him for it. However, when he drinks or takes drugs he’s a very mean and spiteful person to be around so i’m not the biggest fan of him going out so much.
In the last few months or so, his drug habits have become a real issue for me. He would go out with friends and make a point of telling me he did not take any drugs, they only had beers and he’d be home at a good time. One night I had a horrible feeling he was lying, so when he fell asleep I checked his phone. He had lied to me countless times.
I have tried to bring up the lying before, because, in all honesty, him doing drugs is not a bother to me. It’s the lying and mishandling of money that are the problem. For example, he didn’t get me anything for my birthday, claiming he had no money (he gets paid very regularly). He kept spending pay checks on drugs, and any plans we made came out of my account, and if I don’t immediately agree to pay he gets upset.
The final straw recently is that he had asked me to send him money for buses and other essentials for the week, which I was fine with doing. He spent this money on drugs too and lied to my face about it. I am desperate to help him but bringing it up sends him on a warpath where he claims I don’t understand his struggles. I know I need to draw a line but it feels physically impossible to navigate this.
TL,DR- How do I navigate a bf who’s lying about drugs?

Hey everyone, so I'm 23 y/o, f from CO. I've been using for 5 years now intravenously, both heroin and meth. My story is pretty typical, ive been through it all. All the highs and lows. I went from living in my apartment with a girlfriend, full time job, pets, and hobbies all the way to complete homelessness and nothing but the shirt on my back. Ive done things i swore i would never do for drugs and money. Ive been to jail 8 plus times, so obviously ive detoxed cold turkey several times. Every time was literal hell. Also i have been to rehab more than three times, left early every time. My longest stretch of sobriety was 6 months due to incarceration. I was convinved i would stay sober once i got out, had plans to move home with my parents and start working again. Ended up relapsing in the first 48 hours of being released. Ive had way too many close calls with death, I couldn't even count if someone asked. My addiction has put me in the hospital way too many times. Once when I overdosed, i received CPR for 25 minutes which resulted in my sternum breaking, and got MRCA. I shoot in my neck mostly with 25Gauge 1in needles, really deep right by my collar bone. Not too long ago i missed which put me in the hospital. I couldn't move the whole right side of my body it was really scary. Well, that's a little about me so you can get an idea. Currently, I would say besides my addiction things are going really well. I have a solid place to stay, my relationship with my girlfriend is getting better even though we use together (we are high-school sweethearts, October is our 7 year anniversary), my relationship with my parents is better than ever, and I'm learning to like myself. I feel like I can't live fully until I stop using though. It is holding me back from way too much. I hate it. For the first time in all my years of using, I truly want to get better and say goodbye to drugs forever. In the past I was only sober because of jail, and only attempted to get sober for other people (parents, family). I'm thinking since I want to do it for myself it could be different this time. I want to attempt to do it cold turkey. I want to start this weekend, no ifs ands or buts. I'm determined and tired of putting it off and never getting to it. I dont have time to get in suboxone, and methadone clinics are closed weekends. I need as much advice as i could possibly get, on things to make the misery a little bit less and how to get past the mental doubts and not give into irrational decisions. I know this time is going to be especially hard though, because my tolerance is pretty high in my opinion. Like I said I use intravenously, about 1.5 grams of heroin and .6 meth a day ( divide this into 5 shots a day). It barely effects me too, it never feels like enough. I've always heard sleeping through it is key. If I can't get Xanax would niquil work? So if any of yall have some advice on how to push through this please tell me. :)

I created a Google My Business profile for a simple cleaning business I am in the process of starting up. The profile was immediately suspended, with no reason or explanation given. The only thing I was told was to review the guidelines for eligible businesses.
After several calls to Google, they told me the profile was suspended due to edits made to the business information during the verification process. I had absolutely ZERO guidance telling me not to edit anything, or that editing information would flag my account for a suspension, so this was very frustrating.
Google Support told me to send them my business license and a utility bill with the business address listed, which I did.
I thought everything would be taken care of after this, but yesterday I got another email from Google saying sorry this profile is not eligible to be listed on Google, please review the guidelines for eligible businesses. The same bullshit email they sent me in the first place.
I wrote back furious explaining my frustrations, and how I complied with all of their requests to get my profile reinstated, and yet I still get the same generic response with no solution to my problem.
Now I’m just lost and I have no idea what the hell to do. My business has no chance of being successful if I can’t list on Google. So what the hell do I do now? Can I delete this profile and try to verify it again through a different gmail account? The support team is absolutely no help. They have said there is nothing else they can do at this point. This is so frustrating for me because I’ve done nothing wrong. It’s a god damn cleaning business and Google is treating me like I’m a drug dealer.

Holy. Sh#t. Chaos has infected the Tourney. For the first time in the history of the NCAA tournament, all #1 seeds failed to make it past the Sweet Sixteen. Embrace it everyone, this tourney is on all the drugs that makes Cocaine Bear look like a f#cking Paddington Bear. As for the #1 seeded teams teams? They are all sus! Not on one of them, ALL OF THEM! I’m gonna break it down one by one cuz this is gonna be a doozy. Is it gonna break my English grammar skills? …f#ck…
Kansas - I’m not gonna rant hard on Kansas, they were in a rough circumstance at the worst timing. Bill Self still hasn’t recovered (get well soon btw) and looked like an army of super soldiers without their general. Norm Roberts did a solid job as an acting coach but the team entered the tournament at the worst possible time. Let’s not forget that they were also the defending champions so there’s a bigger target on their backs. Once they faced Arkansas in the second round the team just couldn’t overcome the Hogs. All that really matters is for Bill Self to recover.
Purdue - Here’s a memo for everyone to remember when you fill out your brackets in the future: NEVER PICK PURDUE AS YOUR FINAL FOUR!!! How the f#ck did they got outplayed by the shortest team in the tournament at FDU in the first round… when said FDU team didn’t win their conference tournament only for the actual winner to be ineligible for D-1 transition. Their legacy of failure has become eternal. At least it looked competitive comparing to Virginia’s embarrassment 5 years ago.
Houston - I thought this team was gonna be the #1 overall seed. You can claim their conference was weaker comparing to the SEC but Houston’s flaws showed but in the first round… the FIRST ROUND! They got lucky but the moment they faced Miami in the Sweet 16 it was over. Houston on the surface looked like a #1 seed but they played like an NIT team all tournament long. The City of Houston may have got a break after the Astros winning the World Series but remember that the mistress is a cruel, sadistic b#tch.
Alabama - “Wrong place at the wrong time”. This is what the Alabama program is gonna deal with this crap for a very long time. When a coach sweeps a murder case under the rug, this screams red flag. They were the best team in the country for the majority of the season but it’s stained by Miller’s murder case thus leaving a black eye in their athletic program AND the coach himself. Speaking of Miller, he was #ss all tournament long. 8-41 on the field, 3-19 from 3. San Diego State may not be a walk in the park, but they looked beatable. Once Bama got cocky, San Diego State deflated them. Bama were in the wrong place at the wrong time to be eliminated by a Mountain west conference team.
Embrace chaos, that’s all I got to say. This Elite Eight round is gonna get very, very interesting. As for you 4? Go back to your campuses in shame!

When I was very young, my father was an alcoholic. He got sober when I was very young but I remember staying at grandma's house a lot and picking daddy up from jail.
I was restlessly bullied in grade and middle school, as well as the beginning of high school. I had a plan to kill myself, but one person who was a true friend at the time told the school counselor and I got the help I needed.
I began to separate myself from the bullies and made new friends. I smoked a lot of weed and drank a lot of alcohol. I woke up to a "friend" having sex with my unconscious body. his girlfriend found out and I became a slut and a homewrecker. I began experiencing panic attacks, often.
After high school I had no clue what I wanted to do so I attended community college and got a general associate degree in arts and sciences. I decided to party a lot and made the decision to move 12 hours from home at age 22.
I was still into drugs to cope. My neighbor sexually assaulted me and locked me in his apartment until he forced me out after forcing himself on me. I told my male roommate what happened and he was ready to kill him but I decided to pursue a protection order instead. At that time in that state, because I didn't reside in his apartment, they couldn't do anything to help me. I avoided him and tried to break my lease so no avail. I came home from work one night and found my rapist sitting at my kitchen table with my roommate standing over him. My roommate told me to go to my room and lock the door and call 911. I heard commotion, I peaked out my door while on the phone with 911 and saw blood everywhere. Once police and ambulance arrived I learned my rapist broke in and was waiting for me to get home but my roommate beat me there. He assaulted my roommate. My roommate was okay and rapist got arrested.
After that event, I moved in with my boyfriend because I was terrified to go home. My then boyfriend was very sick. I didn't know until I witnessed it. He had schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. He became extremely abusive. He threatened death to me, once locked me in a room for 3 days, pointed a gun at me, pulled the trigger anf then laughed when I flinchdd because it wasn't loaded. I finally had enough, told him I was leaving, we fought. I asked to go smoke a cigarette. He told me it's cold and to smoke inside. I went to grab a cigarette when I heard a blast. I look And he shot himself through the heart. The rest is a blur, I spent hours being questioned by police and ultimately released. I was so messed up and began using opiates and heroin to numb the pain.
I got in a relationship with another heroin addict. I got sick of living that way and went to rehab half dead. My ex refused to get help so we broke up. I went back to college to get a bachelor's degree in social work. I found out a year after our breakup that my ex killed himself.
I completed college and graduated Suma Cum Laude with perfect grades. I got a job helping domestic violence victims. After covid Iost that job. I ended up moving and finding a new relationship. I got a job in the mental health hospital.
One night on the last leg of my 12 hour shift, I began experiencing excruciating pain, couldn't stand up straight and kept tripping over my feet. I went home thinking I was just exhausted. Only the next morning, I couldn't walk at all. I was hospitalized and diagnosed with a degenerative neurological autoimmune condition that has left me permanently disabled on the right side of my body and I now use a crutch or crutches to walk. I found a wonderful job in my field that has literally saved my life.
I'm only 34 years old. If anyone who knows me reads this, they'll know who I am and I don't care. This is my story. If you read this far, thank you. I just needed to share my life story.

We have not spoke to eachover for days its awkward and i hate it all this because he or probably we cannot cope the withdrawals of drugs we are in a messy situation and i don't know what to do he refuses to go rehab i want to give it a try its a shitty situation

Hello personalfinance,
​
I also posted this to insurance, but wanted the advice of you all, as I think you can offer some knowledge on how to proceed through my very stressful insurance claim (that is costing me a fair amount of $$$).
To provide some backstory, I submitted a claim for an attempted theft on my 2013 Hyundai Accent in early January of 2023.
While the thief did not get away with my vehicle, they got their bodily fluids over nearly every area on the inside of my car. Blood and other substances were found soaked into the seats of the vehicle, headliner, and nearly every other panel in the vehicle interior. Furthermore, beyond the crippling ignition damage and smashed window that was caused, they left their used drug paraphernalia strewn about my vehicle and the odor from the substances was absolutely horrifying. In short, the vehicle was completely unfit for human occupancy (even in small instances) and was a biohazard. I quickly contacted my insurance company (Amica) about this issue after filing a police report and they stated it would be several days before an assessor could look at my vehicle. The vehicle sat unsecured and completely trashed in the parking lot of my apartment complex during this time.
For reference, the vehicle (pre-claim) was not in amazing shape. It has fading paint all over, cosmetic damage to the exterior, and was well used with over 130,000 miles on the odometer. The Kelly Blue Book value of this car in perfect condition is approximately $4,000; my vehicle is nowhere near that state and worth far less. Upon assessment, despite my insistance that the vehicle should be totaled, the assessor estimated the total cost of repairs in the realm of ~$1,200 dollars to remove all biohazards, replace the rear passenger window, and repair the steering column along with some other damages. To give you an idea of how far they went to avoid totaling my destroyed Hyundai, they quoted a rear-window replacement at $25.00 from a junkyard in a city that is over 150 miles from where I live. In what world does it cost only $25.00 to acquire a piece of glass and transport it 150+ miles and then install it? This exact process was completed for all listed repair items.
I was able to get my vehicle into a shop the week after the assessment. However, fast forward nearly three months later and my car has yet to be repaired. Meanwhile, I have had to pay out of pocket for a rental car and had to go out and purchase a new vehicle to stay financially solvent during this process (because rental cars are really, really expensive). Amica did set me up with a rental car, however, another issue was encountered here. I pay for $1200 dollars of rental reimbursement on my policy. My total rental bill was $1145 dollars. Amica opted to only pay $960 of it due to “length of rental” (their words, not mine). In addition to the cost of having to procure a new vehicle, I also still am making payments on the damaged vehicle that I cannot drive and do not possess because it is parked at a shop (along with the monthly cost of insurance – which is not cheap in Washington State). Amica has not reached out to me more than two times since this claim was opened to help get me through this.
What is my best course of action from here? My mom seems to think that I should be very aggressive with the insurance company on the phone, however, I am not so sure that being rude to someone I have never met will solve anything. Any advice or insight on this situation would be greatly appreciated!
tl;dr: My Hyundai got broken into and completely destroyed inside. Insurance company refused to total my vehicle and has offered little to no support in the past three months. Car still not repaired.

After years of being unhappy together, my daughter's mother recently moved out.
We had been together 10 years, engaged for 5, but never married. When we met, she had a 4 year old daughter. After a year of dating, they both moved in with me. At the time, I was a bartender and she was a bank teller. Wanting to provide a stable family environment, I began looking for more traditional jobs.
After struggling to find a career as opposed to a job, I decided to go back to school and obtain a masters degree. At the same time, my fiancee went back to school as well (had dropped out after less than 1 semester the first time). I worked a full time day job, waited tables at night and on the weekends and helped her with her school work. She graduated four years ago. She is now waiting tables (only part time).
We had a child together in 2016. It was my hope that this would be her incentive to work harder to provide the nuclear family I wanted so badly for my child. Instead, I took on a ton of debt, provided probably 90% of the financial support for a child who is not mine biologically, and found myself constantly asking for more of a contribution either financially or from a day to day parenting perspective.
Problems really began to arise when my daughter (her 2nd) was born. The day she was born I overheard grandma telling fiancee's bio daughter that "he will never love you as much as he is going to love your sister." 1st daughter's bio dad was a bit of a deadbeat, so it wasn't so much of a red flag when she would talk crap on him openly, but using a different name (being young, I didn't recognize the attempts at parental alienation). She now does the same thing to me. My fiancee is so traumatized from being abused by this woman (fiancee's dad was never around), that she is, at the age of 37, unable to even confront her about abusing daughter 1 emotionally. It became my mission to protect daughter number 2 from the same abuse.
From the time we've been together, it's basically been what's mine is ours and what's hers is hers. She promised so many times to start being accountable. In an act of desperation, I enlisted her aunt's help to explain fiancee's behavioral issues. Privately, aunt told me I should leave her and take daughter 2 far away from the generational abuse.
Aunt's sons have been a part of my life for most of the 10 years we've been together. They are aspiring "rappers", both without a father figure in their life. It was not uncommon for them to come to my house after a dispute at home and stay for a few days until things calmed down. Both are adults who still live with mom. Recently, one came to the house again. When I asked what had happened, he responded that he and his brother had robbed someone for marijuana directly in front of their mothers house. Knowing that his "friends" had accompanied him to my house for family events on more than on occasion, I explained (in maybe a less than friendly manner) that he was not welcome to hide out at my house after committing crimes and that I did not want that type of behavior around my kids.
I had reached out to a therapist for couples counseling and fiancee and I were on the waiting list (the demand is sad). For years, I've been asking her to find work that would allow her to be available to the kids after school on a regular basis. For most of our relationship, I have spent at least 2-3 nights a week alone while she worked until 10 or 11 pm. She claimed that she was staying on top of things and for some reason I believed her. She was supposed to pay our rent for the first time in ten years on April 1 (I've avoided buying a home where we live because I didn't want my daughter to grow up here).
Last weekend, her car got repossessed (I had no idea payments weren't being made). I lost my shit (as I have often done out of frustration, desperation, etc.). She is now staying with her aunt in a house where drug crimes are being committed, one of the residents is fresh out of rehab on a fentanyl overdose, and there's an aggressive pitbull.
She's always been good at pretending to be a sweet, caring person to those who aren't close enough to see through it (something she learned from her mother). Daughter 1 doesn't want to be there and daughter 2 has expressed fear of the aunt and her dog. Fiancee is regularly hanging out with two women who cheat on their husbands (one with a cocaine dealer). When I ask if she thought she would like me to behave this way, she says "you obviously don't know who I am". I don't know if she is doing drugs but I have my suspicions.
I work 60 hour weeks, she works 20. I gave her daughter a better life than she could have, while she refused to improve her circumstances. Daughter 1's bio dad is dead, so I've been her primary caretakeprovider for ten years. She doesn't like me very much because of the conflicts I've had with mom and grandma, but she knows I am there for her.
This week I also found out that daughter 2 had been referred to family court for truancy issues. Wife wasn't reporting absences properly, took kids on 5 day vacation on a whim (when bills were presumably going unpaid), and is habitually late to everything. Daughter 2, who is now six says "I'm always the last one to school" and is late regularly. Fiancee did not inform me that school had even expressed concern.
I feel like I've been used and abused, but I'm not without fault. My frustration and concern for my daughters safety has led me to lash out verbally on many occasions. However, I think fiancee blaming this for her shortcomings is a cop out. It's just that no one sees or hears about her neglect towards her family.
Daughter 1 is 14 now. Her mom is more of a sister to her than a mother. I practically had to beg fiancee to get her into therapy. When she needs something, she knows she can't count on her mom. She regularly says things like "mom only cares about herself." I don't say negative things to her about her, but I also don't disagree with these things.
Daughter 2 begged me last week to beat mom to school pickup so she could be with me. She and I are more connected than she and mom.
I live in a state where 50/50 custody is assumed. CPS has been notified of my daughters fear of her aunt and her dog (she expressed it at school). I'm talking with a lawyer and it seems I'm going to spend a ton of money just trying to force mom to be accountable and on time.
What's really fucked up is that somewhere in my head, I still want it to work. I do love her, but she's not a good partner and she's not been a good mother to the girls. I think she has a victim mentality and is not able to be honest with herself about her behavior.
I feel fiancee is delusional (I'm told she's a victim of enmeshment, emotional incest, etc.) in regard to her view of herself. She talks of a future that isn't attainable given her current circumstances and behavior. She talks of travelling when she is older, but made 21K last year. There's almost zero chance she will ever even be able to retire. She's going to need someone to support her financially forever. When I point out that she's not behaving in a way that aligns with what she says she wants, she says "you're just negative".
I'm scared for both girls well being because I know mom doesn't pay much attention to them. She's either smoking weed, texting her friends, or playing with her hair.
I know that I'm supposed to try and be my best self and try to smile while eating the shit sandwich I've been served. But I've felt like I had three children for a number of years now.
I can't tell if I still want a future with her or if its even remotely plausible. I feel like she hangs around people who are worse off than she is to boost her ego and I've had to put a number of them in their place as it relates to their interactions with my kids. At this point, I've got quite a few middle aged waitresses who hate my guts. I watched one scam daughter 1 out of her birthday money with counterfeit goods (at the birthday party, minutes after she received her gifts, and mom did nothing). Grandma and aunt now hate my guts too. Fiancee no longer spends time with old friends who are actually thriving. I'm guessing this is, in part, due to shame over how she is behaving.
I feel like I just want my kids to be safe and be around people who are doing positive things with their time. Apparently, my not wanting my kids around drug activity and emotional abuse, makes me someone who "thinks he's better than everyone else". Depending on the situation, I'm either a negative person who doesn't believe in himself or I'm an arrogant jerk. Fiancee also says I have abandonment issues, though she's been told by others that she has abandoned me in our relationship (I feel she just never showed up).
For the better part of the last 3 years, I've been struggling to make ends meet while she tries to "find herself". She says she has to put herself first to be the best she can be for our girls. While I don't disagree with this, I don't think that it means what she thinks it means.
I feel like I'm the only one who has to see who fiancee really is.
My emotions desperately want things to be fixed, but I'm fantasizing about a person who has never existed.
I don't feel like I've done anything to deserve not being with my daughter every day. I may be a lot of things, but I've been a great dad to her. She loves me like crazy and we have a fantastic bond. I'm so scared to lose it.
I truly feel traumatized by this relationship. Does anyone have a similar experience? Any advice on either one last ditch attempt to save what is probably an irreparable relationship? Any idea how to expedite the grieving process and come out on the other side?
I feel like she is gaslighting me and I'm scared it's working.
I realize that I'm rambling and that this is reflecting on me poorly. CPS, truancy court, and the pitfalls of restaurant industry relationships are things that I just couldn't have fathomed being part of my life at this age.
I think my ultimate fantasy is that she would show up and say "Hey, I'm going to go do my thing. I'll leave both the kids with you and I won't be back."
I'm not even sure why I wrote this.

Hello Insurance,
I am in the middle of a very stressful insurance claim and could use some insight on how to proceed from here.
To provide some backstory, I submitted a claim for an attempted theft on my 2013 Hyundai Accent in early January of 2023.
While the thief did not get away with my vehicle, they got their bodily fluids over nearly every area on the inside of my car. Blood and other substances were found soaked into the seats of the vehicle, headliner, and nearly every other panel in the vehicle interior. Furthermore, beyond the crippling ignition damage and smashed window that was caused, they left their used drug paraphernalia strewn about my vehicle and the odor from the substances was absolutely horrifying. In short, the vehicle was completely unfit for human occupancy (even in small instances) and was a biohazard. I quickly contacted my insurance company (Amica) about this issue after filing a police report and they stated it would be several days before an assessor could look at my vehicle. The vehicle sat unsecured and completely trashed in the parking lot of my apartment complex during this time.
For reference, the vehicle (pre-claim) was not in amazing shape. It has fading paint all over, cosmetic damage to the exterior, and was well used with over 130,000 miles on the odometer. The Kelly Blue Book value of this car in perfect condition is approximately $4,000; my vehicle is nowhere near that state and worth far less. Upon assessment, despite my insistance that the vehicle should be totaled, the assessor estimated the total cost of repairs in the realm of ~$1,200 dollars to remove all biohazards, replace the rear passenger window, and repair the steering column along with some other damages. To give you an idea of how far they went to avoid totaling my destroyed Hyundai, they quoted a rear-window replacement at $25.00 from a junkyard in a city that is over 150 miles from where I live. In what world does it cost only $25.00 to acquire a piece of glass and transport it 150+ miles and then install it? This exact process was completed for all listed repair items.
I was able to get my vehicle into a shop the week after the assessment. However, fast forward nearly three months later and my car has yet to be repaired. Meanwhile, I have had to pay out of pocket for a rental car and had to go out and purchase a new vehicle to stay financially solvent during this process (because rental cars are really, really expensive). Amica did set me up with a rental car, however, another issue was encountered here. I pay for $1200 dollars of rental reimbursement on my policy. My total rental bill was $1145 dollars. Amica opted to only pay $960 of it due to “length of rental” (their words, not mine). In addition to the cost of having to procure a new vehicle, I also still am making payments on the damaged vehicle that I cannot drive ,and do not possess (along with the monthly cost of insurance – which is not cheap in Washington State). Amica has not reached out to me more than two times since this claim was opened to help get me through this.
What is my best course of action from here? My mom seems to think that I should be very aggressive with the insurance company on the phone, however, I am not so sure that being rude to someone I have never met will solve anything. Any advice or insight on this situation would be greatly appreciated!
tl;dr: My Hyundai got broken into and completely destroyed inside. Insurance company refused to total my vehicle and has offered little to no support in the past three months. Car still not repaired.

It’s wild that something as simple as my babymom fucking up her chance to go to rehab today could make me want to use. She called me off an restricted number and told me she was going to leave for rehab today. She missed her initial ride at noon because she slept in but her mom was suppose to take and drop her off before 5pm. Well she said she went and got there and they gave her bed to someone else because she “hung up the phone and they thought she wasn’t coming” I said it sounds like some bullshit because this is the third time she’s said she was gonna go to rehab and then drug her feet and “missed” her admission. She’s done this 3 other times. God it just hurts me so fucking much. I was so happy and proud of her that she was actually gonna go to rehab but now who knows when she’s going to go.

21F, please help. I need to figure out what's going on. I've been to the ER five times in the last year for this and don't have solid answers.
I have recurring ovarian cysts. They've been coming every 2-4 months and cause issues for a month when they appear. This is my third cyst. The last one was 2.2" in diameter (the short side of a credit card). The pain comes in waves, and when I'm resting, it's 3/10. At its worst, it's 10/10 writhing in bed in agony. To bend over or flex my abdominal muscles hurts.
I have a cyst currently and went to the ER last week; anal bleeding also this time. The pain is not 10/10 this time but was 5/10 last night. Heat takes the edge off. Ice less so. Pain meds have to be strong to do anything. I worry about developing a dependence on pain meds if this continues. I've been meticulous about taking pain meds only when I have to. I've had pain after sex, vaginal bleeding, general full abdominal pain, gas, lethargy, nausea, unexplained weight gain, lower back pain, and trouble sleeping due to pain.
These started last August. Never had one before then. Things were going well; in a good, healing place mentally.
I've only gone to the ER out of desperation. They've done CTs and ultrasounds. They've taken blood and urine. My labs came back great. EKG says my heart is perfect. As of a year ago, MRIs for head, neck, and spine are regular. I haven't had a period in over six months (IUD). Negative for PCOS. No drugs, alcohol, or smoking/vaping. Never and not currently pregnant. No family history of menstrual issues. Obese but eating well. Not drinking enough water, but doing better. Thyroid issues on both sides of the family (hyperthyroidism AND hypothyroidism), but mine has been normal as far as I know.
Meds: vyvanse, venlafaxine, gabapentin, daily vitamin and hair, skin, and nails vitamin
Diagnoses: MDD (in remission), PTSD and C-PTSD (working on in therapy), Acute stress disorder (in remission), idiopathic hypersomnia (started Sept 2022; unexplainable), pending ADHD/Autism/Dyslexia diagnoses
History: sexual abuse, long-term severe psychological abuse, lifetime obesity that I'm working on currently
Could it be a psychosomatic response to sexual trauma (currently working on in therapy)? Does this fit the bill for endometriosis? Why do I continually have these, and how can I stop them?

I have almost 5 years off drugs and alcohol. I got sober at 20 with a trip to rehab and I’m 25. Honestly I had a lot of good times these past years, however a lot of it has been struggling and darkness. I feel at the point in my life, and the past four years I have only really done this for my parents. It’s ever clear to me the symptoms I’m experiencing are the things that made me drink in the first place. I feel anxious all the time. I’ve tried more things then you can even imagine to make my mind get better, therapy, AA, NA, medication, however this underlying hatred for myself still persists. There’s good moments mixed in but I feel like I am in chronic emotional pain. I just feel like I should be further in life but just because I’m not drinking or doing drugs everyday anymore doesn’t mean I’m still not a fuck up.
I’m just really struggling with not relapsing. I know I’m an alcoholic, it runs in the family and my relationship with nicotine and media illustrates that the issues with addiction are still there. I know I can’t drink like other people and I black out every time. I know when I drink have marked disinhibition and I will use hard drugs again. But I just feel so miserable all the time. Is this it? Is this my life? sober misery. Does it get better? I feel like I’d be much better loaded in a ditch. I’m about the inherit a large sum of money and this might be the end. Please help with some words if you can thank you. This past year has truly tested my human instinct for survival.

Hi everyone. I want to start by saying that what happened to me was an unthinkable and random occurrence, and I hope it will never happen again. So on to the point of this post.
In April of last year I went to rehab mostly because I was homeless, but also to help with my addiction. Upon leaving rehab I found out about Oxford House, and decided that with nowhere to go, I would go there. I was accepted immediately and moved in. The house I was in housed 6 people. There were 4 when I got there making me number 5. I worked nights at a local grocery store so I would sleep during the day. There was a guy already there which we will call “Chad” (name changed for doxxing rule) over the months I was there, people came and went, but Chad stayed. Chad never caused any problems. He was one of the more responsible members of the house. He was our treasurer and house representative. He worked with the chapter president daily at his construction job. Chad was a nice guy and fun to be around. We spent many days hanging out, going for walks, etc. One morning after about 4 months, we got a new resident. We’ll call him “Dave”. Dave was there for two days. On his second day, all hell broke loose. I was asleep until about noon that day. When I woke up I went to the garage to smoke a cigarette, where I saw Chad smoking as well. I said good morning and we talked for a bit. I went back to my room and not even 20 minutes later, I heard a commotion coming from the kitchen. I walk in there and I see Chad has Dave in a headlock, with Chad saying Dave tried to attack him. Now, this is odd as Dave was an elderly man of around 60 who was disabled on half of his body, unable to move his hand or leg on that side. I tried to break it up, but Chad just wouldn’t let go. I go to another house member for help. As we come back in the kitchen we see Chad has drug Dave onto the other side of the kitchen. He then reached on the counter and grabbed a butcher knife out of the knife block. It happened so quick. He started stabbing Dave. Over and over. I was frozen in fear and shock. He broke 2 knives stabbing him. He then threw Dave to the ground and started choking him until he died. I am ashamed to say that I was too scared to stop him.
Long story short, you never know who you’re living with, no matter what kind of person they seem to be, or how long you have known them. Please be careful of where you’re staying and who you’re staying with. Never trust anyone fully, and always watch your back. From experience I can say that people snap in an instant.