Trueoffmychest

And I am his sole caregiver.. I am increasingly resentful about how it's eating into my life. He has never been a good husband in any sense of the word and I should have left long ago. But I didn't and now here he is, very ill and I can't leave.

i flew to the uk for uni back in september 2021 and within the 3 months i was there, i lost a total of 8kgs if not more. within those few months, i went days without eating. i would just drink water to make myself less hungry.
and if i did have to eat so that my body wouldn’t die, i would have one nature valley granola bar. i was barely consuming any proper nutrients and was clearly not meeting the daily average calorie intake for a woman.
doing all this definitely took a toll on my body. i started losing a lot of hair, quickly too and i couldn’t really do anything to stop it. my body was trying its best to survive while i was pretty much starving it. i would feel more tired, physically and mentally. whenever i took a shower for too long, i would almost pass out from being lightheaded. even if i was going through all this, i’ve never felt so much better about my body. i have major body issues and can’t rlly look at my body for too long before i start picking every little flaw apart.
now, the last few months, i’ve actually been eating consistently. though every time i did eat, i would justify why i ate so i didn’t feel so guilty for giving my body what it needs. it worked most of the time. but i could see the weight gain in my face and it makes me cry sometimes but i wanted to get better. plus my hair was growing back and it kinda kept me going.
however, a few days ago, my friend and i were on our way to our class. she made a comment about me. well it was more of a question if anything. she asked me “did you gain weight or is it the clothes you’re wearing?” and when i heard that, i genuinely felt like dying. i wanted to turn around and just go home and cry.
ever since then, i haven’t had a proper meal. i don’t even allow myself any of the snacks i’ve been having. i’ve started to calculate every calorie i put inside my body again.
i rlly didn’t wanna go down this path again but when i heard that comment, it just triggered something within my brain and now have the need to punish myself for allowing myself to eat so much in the past.
so yeah, please don’t ever make a comment on people’s bodies especially if they didn’t ask for it :( thanku

In society and media, people tend to equate being extroverted as having good social skills, and conversely being introverted as having bad social skills
This is simply not always the case though. I increasingly meet more and more self-proclaimed extroverts who don’t know when to stop speaking, don’t understand social rules and conventions, and don’t understand when to leave people alone and stop bothering them.
Society would be better off if we stopped equating extroversion with good social skills

as title says, my boyfriend (both 16) keeps talking about suicide bit the only thing I can really do is feel annoyed or too overwhelmed.
I feel so selfish for it. what I think is selfish. I just want him to stop talking about it. he keeps saying how he's a bad person and how he deserves to die. I feel like if he does it I'll be a bad girlfriend and I'll feel like shit because he's dead. I don't want him to. if he gets real into it I just want him to shut up though. if he starts going on insulting himself I just feel weird and drained. I don't want to feel this way. I want to care but everytime he talks about it it's draining
I'm a suicide survivor myself and the convo is iffy. I can't help peopke mentally and I don't know what to say. I just want him to stop and be happy but he cant and it fucking hurts. I asked him to stop venting to me and I felt stressed, he just kept talking about it. I wish he'd just go to his mum instead. I feel so wrong for this.

I have an odd family dynamic. It’s not super wild, but my parents divorced when I was really young and since then both of them remarried. My stepmom and dad live a normal middle class life, but my mom decided to marry up.
I don’t have an issue with this but her choice in men has always been… shitty. My stepdad likes me, but I think in a more he tolerates me kind of way. I don’t think he prefers my company. Which honestly, I don’t care. He’s an alcoholic so whatever.
My issue is just more on my… I guess jealousy of my mom, stepdad, and stepsister. My stepsister obviously grew up with her dad so he was able to give her things and live in a big house. I have no issue with my stepsister and love her to death, I’m so glad she’s in my life. But I do get jealous of the things she’s able to do and I dont.
My stepdad often travels for business and brings my mom. They’ve been to Australia, France, Germany, etc. I am very jealous as I love to travel, but I know there’s not much I can do about it… The part that just sucks the most for me is my stepsister being able to also go with them places.
She travels to France because that is where her mom’s side of the family is from. So I can’t be truly mad about the fact she gets to travel to Europe because it’s for her family, but my mom gets to go with too and stepdad. It’s rare my stepsister goes without my mom also being there. I don’t know… I know it’s just my jealousy because I wish I could travel, and I know my sister only goes because something is usually wrong with the family out there…
Every spring break, my family goes to Florida and I have never been invited once. My family says it’s because I wouldn’t like the things they do. They also said this when they went to Costa Rica and didn’t invite me. “You would’ve hated it”. Well… I guess I would’ve… glad I got a choice…
I just feel like I’ve been forced to be an adult way before my sister. I’m 3 years older than her and I’ve graduated college, but even when I was in college I never got invited anywhere but she does… I just went to school and worked. I just have too many complaints. I’m currently going through a bunch of health issues which made me leave my dream job so I’m stuck at my other parents home doing nothing all day every day so I think I’m just extra salty and in my feelings all the time… oh well.

Basically title.
I'm turning 25 in a few weeks and while I do have a couple of online friends who will probably buy me a Steam game or two, I have no offline friends at all and no family who will be around.
It's not a huge problem in the grand scheme of everything, I know. I'm just lonely and fed up with the world and this birthday is just hammering those feelings home. I just want people who care enough to even just get together for the night.

I wish I never experienced loneliness. Had friends, people that loved me and never made me feel sick. Dated, wasn't afraid of getting into relationships etc. I feel like the loneliest human alive n iwsnns die

Since the past few months, i have been feeling really low and i just can't stop overthinking about every small thing. Sometimes, i rant on my friends about it and altho they support me and motivate me that everything will be fine, in my mind i start questioning if they do not actually like talking to me or i annoy them or maybe i am an emotional burden on them. I feel so worthless and feel like i burden their lives( even though their actions and words show the opposite) or they must be tired of my shit. I also worry that they may not consider me a close friend because they may think i just dump my feelings on them. It is like i can no longer find a reason to be happy and worry too much about the future and trivial things as these. What do i do about this whole thing? I need help, i can't afford a therapist sadly

There’s really not much else to say. I’m about to turn twenty and the only years of my life that I have truly bonded with my dad is from June 2020 until now because he was always in prison. I keep waiting for the sadness I felt as a child to come, the longing I felt as a young teenager. But there’s nothing. I’m not upset or mad, not even disappointed. I love him so much, I really do, but I never let myself believe that he would choose my brother and I over drugs. It hurts, I think it always will, but I’m glad I’m old enough to know better now. Everyone is hopeful that he’ll get out or that everything will be okay, but my brother and I know how unlikely that is. I love him, I already miss him, but I’ll never allow his decisions to harm me in the way that they used to.

I constantly feel sad, anxious and angered. I'm ignored by basically everyone in my life unless they're my family. I am constantly annoyed by other people and the chaos of everything makes me anxious and overwhelmed. I feel depressed and nothing has worked to fix these issues.
The only thing keeping me happy is my boyfriend, who I have always questioned how he is attracted to me. I have confidence issues, despite knowing how good I am. I feel like everyone is judging everything I do. I can't eat, walk, talk or smile in front of people without feeling like I'm being judged.
I just want this to be back to when I didn't have these problems. I keep saying to myself that I don't want to live past 40 because I couldn't deal with this for another several decades but I don't want to commit suicide. If I kill myself I'll make my family and boyfriend sad, which I don't want, but my brain is telling myself they won't care.
I keep thinking no one cares about me other than them, as I have never been people's first prioritys. I was always the last to be included in group activities, I'm always ignored, and have been told to my face that they preferred other people over me.
You don't have to read this. I just needed to get this out.

Growing up, I’ve never had the best relationship with my parents and that’s translated financially too with them constantly making me sort of count whatever they’ve bought me as though it’s a favour like no? You’re my parents, you’re literally doing what you’re supposed to be doing by providing me with the basics and looking after me? If you are a parent, please don’t ever make your child feel though as they can’t come to you in case they ever need help in terms of financial security because it’s quite literally the worst thing ever. You’re supposed to be the one person your child can rely on, don’t take it away from them.
It’s made me resent them so much, the way they constantly act as though I’m a burden on them and that everything they’ve ever done for me is something I should be grateful for despite verbally and emotionally abusing me. Fuck that.

You blocked me on all social media, good. You blocked all of my alt accounts, good. You stopped replying in the places we’re in together, good. You think you broke me when you left me. You think that i’m over here breaking down every moment at your loss, when you don’t realize that the 4 months you spent away from me before that made me not even notice you’re gone.
The only time I cried after you left was when I sat down and cried tears of joy after finding out I was finally free, and I was finally gone out of your life. You can tell Adrian and your discord friends all the lies you want. How I manipulated and abused you, how I used my attempts as a way to control and gaslight you. I don’t care the lies you tell them, to make yourself feel better about how you treated me, since me and the important people in my life will know the truth. They saw the conversations of you admitting into forcing me to send nudes, they saw the conversations of you belittling me and telling me you’re in love with someone else and how much better he is. They saw the conversations of when you admitted to getting mad at me and hurting me just because you needed to have an argument for no apparent reason.
You can tell your friends all the horrible things you want, you can tell them to keep harassing me, like when Adrian sent me that death threat, but I want you to stay away from me. I want to finally be happy and you leaving me is how i’ll do that.
After you left, I was able to talk to much better and more amazing people. And now I have an amazing friend group who love and support me. They also are treating me better than you ever did as a partner.
I’m completely done with you. I’m done with all your bullshit, and I hope you somehow see this. I hope you’re scrolling on reddit and this message finds you, and you just think of how awful of a partner the person is until you realize it’s you i’m talking about. The things I mentioned aren’t even half of the things you did to me, but you know that, you just don’t care enough to find it a problem. In all honesty, I’m glad you broke up with me on that specific day, since it was the best birthday gift I received this year.

At one point in my life I had who I considered my very best friend, we'll call her T. T and I had been friends daycare. She was well liked, fiesty and funny. I was not well liked (ADHD as a kid made me feel separate from the other kids and they'd torment me), a little too hyper and was always trying to make friends. We used to play Pokemon together all the time and we would run around the play ground together. She would only come during the summer months and I was there year round. I remember the summer it was her last year before moving, she had a pool party and I was invited. That was one of the last times I had seen her before high school. My mom and her mom had seen each other at the grocery store after T had moved and her mom had exchanged contact information. I called her once to catch up, but never got a call back. That was in middle school. I would think about her from time to time, wondering if she was ok, how she was doing and who she was at this point in life. I didn't have to wait too long to find out. About 2 years later, she transferred to my high school, I saw her in my English class, and we remembered each other instantly. I was so happy. She didn't have the best home life at this point, I tried to include and invite her to my home/ family as a safe place as often as possible. My parents would always offer her the extra room they had for her to stay. She always declined. She and I both had our issues with mental health, she did drugs, and I had undiagnosed issues that wouldn't come to light until years later. We really held each other in a way that no one else understood, like it was us against the world. She was my best friend. And then she transferred schools. We would make plans to hang out every so often, and then she started to flake. And that would be a theme from 11th grade up until the last communication I had with her last year. (We're both around 26). Over the years, we've had our fair shares of abusive relationships with men, highs and lows of just living and trips to my familys little beach cottage. I truly thought through it all, it'd always be her and I at the end of the day, best friends, connected by the heart. Things I guess came to a head when I met my fiance after leaving an abusive relationship about 3 years ago. She helped me break up with my ex and was there to help me pack my things and move back home. For that I am still incredibly grateful for. She knew my fiance from her now ex boyfriend and their group of friends. I was enamored by him and I'd keep in constant contact with T, talking and laughing, I felt free. We went on a double date, and we had such an awesome time. She knew how much I wanted to be with my fiance, how much we loved, cared and respected one another. After we'd been together a year, my fiance and I made plans to get our own place together. T left her boyfriend and wasn't sure of what to do next. I offered her to move in with us. She declined. I offered my help every time I spoke to her, or tried to. She had a habit of ghosting me but would be out partying or with other people. And that's ok, I understood she had other friends, I'm glad she did. It felt at this point, our lives weren't very connected. I had been the one to reach out to her for 98% of our friendship. She was constantly smoking weed, every hour on the hour. (If that's your lifestyle, that's awesome, but at that point, I wasn't exactly about smoking myself). I felt like all I ever did was give all of myself to her and I was an after thought. She never once wanted to see my fiance and I's place, I tried inviting her so many times and it was always ignored. Last February, my fiance and I took a little beach trip and we discussed our future together. What we wanted, more hopes and dreams we wanted to accomplish together. I was over the moon, I called her and told her all about my fiance and I's discussion. We talked about an event we were planning on going to, all 3 of us. We were so excited to see each other! Planning our outfits and all. And then, she bailed. Tickets were already bought, but said it was due to money reasons. That's totally ok, I get it, I tried to offer to help her attend and she declined. I would still try to communicate with her, she hardly responded. And then she stopped answering all together. She unfollowed me on several social media platforms, and then I was done. I had gotten engaged in October of 2022, I hadn't heard from her since February. My fiance and I recently found out we're having our very first baby together, and I always thought I'd be able to tell T about this. But she's not here with me anymore. It's 5 am where I live, I don't know why I'm babling. It's something that's been on my mind for a little, and I needed to get it off my chest. I truly hope wherever T is, I hope she's living the version of her best life, the life she wants. But I'm tired of trying. I'm severing the strings to her. Looking back, I don't know if that was friendship at all on her end, but whatever it was, for a little while, I thought it was.

I'm a newish dad with a one year old. I love that kid and my wife so much but damn, it's a struggle every day.
I've struggled with severe depression episodes for years but the last 9 months have been hell mentally.
I've been through the ringer of medications, trying therapy, talking with my wife; I still struggle and the mental pain is brutal.
Last night, I felt like I just couldn't continue. Cried for an hour. But I woke up. I'm still here. I want to get out of this, it just feels impossible at times.
I know there are others that have faced crippling depression. What has your journey with depression been like as a father?

Sorry if this is long, it's just everything, a throwaway account because I don't want this linked to me
I'm not one to complain about my issues but I feel like lately, I've been all alone and so here I am
I grew up poor with the rest of my family and a single mother, moving from place to place (if we had one) utilities getting cut off, surviving off of ramen noodles, buttered tortillas and condiment sandwiches. Things continued like this for several years, until my mom met a guy (biofather left when I was 4ish), and it seemed liked things were slowly getting better. If things continued like normal then maybe I'd be a more well adjusted adult, but my mom's husband SA'd us, I was barely 10 at the time and it obviously destroyed any semblance of family that we had. Still trying to continue like normal going to school and excelling, since it is one thing I've always been good at. One by one my siblings would move away and with me being on the younger end, was stuck to deal with my mother's newest relationship. While he wasn't abusive like the previous one he had threatened our lives and his own right in front of us, stabbing himself in the arm with a dull knife. So I ran, between friends and eventually my older brother but that just gave me a new number of problems that I was incapable to deal with. My brother was in a terrible relationship that ended up in drunken yelling matches nearly every day with things being thrown, so I did the only thing I knew how to do. I played music, video games, took 3- 4 hour walks got high with friends, and just listened to music, this to some extent made me happy, finally found some place I felt like maybe I belonged. The academics that I once loved was smothered out because I was tired of trying anything, I wanted to just inebriate myself into oblivion. I had taken almost anything I could get a hold of or afford, often getting black out drunk while hiding away from everything. Eventually me and my friends lost touch, after I dropped out of high school and displaced myself further from my family. I stopped being as crazy, I just didn't want my life to be one that is wasted away, the last good thing I remember being told to me was from my teachers, what a waste it was as I was dropping out. I always planned to go to college but first I just wanted to get away from anything that reminded me of the past. I was working crazy hours trying to get the money to go back to school because my first year at community didn't go well with my continued lack of motivation. Finally, I'm nearing the end of community and I've gotten accepted into some pretty good schools surprisingly, everyone says that I'm smart but honestly I just don't feel it, maybe it's because I was away from it for so long or that the material is just harder(ME major for reference).
If I'm being honest I feel like I don't know how to feel anything at this point, I really only have one goal that I've become somewhat tunnel visioned by. The things that I do feel I rationalize my way out of, I'm not sad, I'm happy that I've made some progress, yes, but it seems everything else has been snuffed out, I feel like I should just be left alone, a broken person who is just so lost in their thoughts they don't know where to begin. Ironically I am rather sociable, nobody knows this stuff about me and honestly I don't know anyone that I'm comfortable enough to share these thoughts with, I feel like I'm often just a passerby in people's lives not someone you make a permanent connection with or ever think about.
Now here comes the next problem, affording school, I've managed to pave my way through community but because of my current job I make a tad too much to even qualify for financial aid. It's like I'm destined to fail, every time I think maybe I've made up for the mistakes I've made, that maybe someone sees something I have to offer the next obstacle is there to stop me. I have no one to help, no one to talk to, at this point I'm just trying to finish this last month and a half strong to show that I can do it but truth is, I don't know what the next plan is. I'm sure I can figure it out as I've always done but this feeling like when, fucking when can I catch a break?

Have you ever felt like suddenly you remember a memory from years or maybe a decade ago, like from when you're a child, but it felt so recent and strong as if it just happened like a couple of months/years ago? I remember the day when my mom took me to school in the 1st grade, I took a seat and she waved at me from outside the class. It felt so real and recent and I felt like I've been on autopilot for a very long time and it's like I've skipped time with a remote like in that 'Click' movie by Adam Sandler. I cry and get panic attacks when thinking about this and I wish I can rewind things back but sadly 'Click' is just a movie.. I just wish my mom and dad will have a very long and healthy life, even though they might not talk with each other anymore till they'll pass away..

I am 19 years old male and I am totally bro I do not bring I am do not belong from rich family and I am not a super smart guy I am an average guy with average Academics but I want an extraordinary life I haven't dated girl girls with over like now the Bean 4 years that I have deleted a girl and I feel very lonely I just need someone to tell me the story of they are life where they were totally broke had no hope and then I am anything and now they have everything they have achieve the goals they are living happy life and really existing not just living maybe that will help me and just give me a hope that there is a better tomorrow and that will be the and we can create I just want you to share your part of the story that's

I am actually very hungry for sex I haven't made out with the girl since 8 years and now is my prime time I am 19 years old and boy and I don't know what to do should I just focus and work hard or should I just make out with random girls and let the Karma hit me and same time I can't focus on studies I don't know why so if you have any thing or if you have been on my shoes just let me know as soon as possible in the comments at the same time I want to ask that does Real Love exist because in today's time while Instagram and posting that only things but are the same time I feel like does not really exist because of my past relationship and that is because I was dating this girl and what happened that I had a friend was very rich and he had BMW Jaguar this girl used to live nearby and used to meet her everyday I was totally bro I am still bro what I think is that love does not exist I will love anyone and I even have an made out over the new one for 8 years and I feel very lonely feel very lonely I have no one to talk to I just have to study all day and work so hard at the same time and I will student I am an average student and I don't know what to do I just feel like I'm tired but feel like it's not going to be a good day I feel like even tomorrow I have to Slug my a** and do nothing maybe just I just feel lying laying around I want to spend money but other same to Android I don't have money to spend it on my life and make my life think that that should just call some hookers and p********** at my place and have sex with them and let them go whenever I want to then call them again with p********** and hokars and have fun with them and then let them go and focus on my studies with the clear mind I don't know what to do on life if you have been on my place just let me know and what she was that girl Max did was he was not dating him but at the same time tell me that he is just friend and all maybe I think it is right and some aspects of life because he says that you should just focus on your life and get your money up then go out and you know take time with girls blood cylinder I think that this is prime time of my life and I can't be patient anymore and other same time on the other hand I don't have money I am not that rich so I am in patient very impression all I want to know is if you are someone who is a head and life whose who has made a great career and his making lots of money I am was shit and then I am any girls when he was younger 1920 and now he is making lot of money and telling is life driving please let me know the comments and that's it guys thank you

How do I tell my brother that his friends including me 25F like his girlfriend more than him and that we rather hang out with her without him and not sound like an ass at the same time?

I(f29) genuinely like people. I work in a busy, stressful, customer-facing role and I absolutely go out of my way to help every customer, even when they’re rude or when their problems clearly outreach the scope of what my job is. I am friendly and help new coworkers, to the point that they naturally reach out to me whenever they’re having a problem and tell me they miss me whenever I’m not there. So I am generally very friendly and people seem to like me. I tend to make friends easily despite being shy.
But for some reason I can’t help noticing patterns in people’s behaviours that just trigger me to a point where I want nothing but to cut them out of my life.
Recently, my problem has been the following: I have a group of friends who regularly talk on a group chat. About once a year we meet in person, but there’s a specific person who always somehow finds a way to cancel in the end, or to just show up for five minutes and then leaving. This has happened so often, that I expect it to happen each year, and it always does. Today it did again, I was always waiting for it.
But what makes me livid is that the person in question is still very vocal when we make plans. We still have to adjust if we happen to mention a date or time that is not convenient to her, only for her to ditch us in the end.
Of course when I say it like that, it seems pretty bad. But no one else in the group seems to notice or be upset by this, and it just makes me feel like a needlessly resentful person because I do have a pattern or cutting people off.
I would just like to know, if you’re a people person who manages to keep friendships for a long time, do you just laugh these things off and don’t let them affect you? How do you deal with these feelings?

I found the one I love early on in life and didn't fool around as much as them or really at all beforehand and now I'm feeling I missed out. Yet I would never cheat because I love him! ...Still wanna have fun that I feel I missed out on; advice?

I (30f) have been with my boyfriend (31m) for 8 years. We have been through a lot together but I may have been a really bad girlfriend. We met at 21 and been through everything that happened in our lives together, his parents marital issues, my moms death, college drop out, long distance of about 3.5 yrs for nursing program, family Covid health issues.
Something I did that I regret in the last few days made me reflect on myself and my actions. I realized I never prioritized him (or I never placed “SO” high in my priorities) and never actively worked on our relationship. We had our first two “good” years together, and then some difficult years (he was going through a lot himself with college situation and a depressive period and then long distance for nursing school), and then we had good years again after he moved back. I’ve always been there for him even though I am not good at talking about feelings and have trouble with empathy.
During the difficult years Of my life and our relationship I relied heavily on my best friend/social circle because my SO was not available. I got really accustomed to having that support. I may confide/trust her more than my SO. We go way back (middle school) and talk daily 24/7 via a group chat with just her and my other friend; I am an only child so she is like a sister. We share basically everything and I’ve never thought twice about it (things like lunch work or more intimate issues like boyfriends, relationships, family, career, gossip.
Recently things have been difficult for my boyfriends family and mother (financially and marital) that have been causing him a lot of stress and distraught, even mental health. I told these things to my best friend and admitted it to him. It is sensitive to him and he is very upset and sees this as betrayal. He feels I was using his family problems as gossip and reveling in their downfall/kicking them at their lowest and also deeply fears that others will find out and judge his family. He is considering ending things with me because he feels this is a huge breach in trust and that if I had considered his feelings and loved him would have never shared. It took me a while to understand the severity of my actions and his feelings. Mainly because I have been telling her since day one 8 years ago and never stopped sharing. She knows everything about me and by extension includes his life and his family. I am only realizing now that none of HIS information was my right to share (I honestly thought it was okay because he knows about our chat and reads it sometimes) I admit there are gossip elements that I share to her about his family and siblings but just thought it was harmless gossip (she shares her in laws things too). At the time I never intended for this to hurt him but when I thought about it he’s right that I never thought about him or considered his feelings at all when I shared his info. I am not sure I can admit to him I have been telling her things since day one and I have been breaking his trust and boundaries from the beginning.
I am regretful, I am not sure what I can do to repair my relationship. I am not sure I can apologize sincerely without defaulting to defend my friendship. He thinks we are terrible people now and all we do is gossip about others. I am afraid this may ruin my friendship also. I am also feeling terrible for him to go through so much already with his family and I added on more stress.