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110. Easiest Side Gig 2023 - Passive Income from User Testing - https://coursetreat.com/udemycourse/easiest-side-gig-2022-passive-income-from-user-testing-course/
     
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128. Adobe Premiere Pro Ultimate Guide - https://coursetreat.com/udemycourse/adobe-premiere-pro-cc-2020/
     
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130. Adobe Premiere Pro Basics Guide - https://coursetreat.com/udemycourse/learn-basic-premiere-pro/
     
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191. Adobe Photoshop Graphic Design - https://coursetreat.com/udemycourse/learn-graphic-design-with-photoshop-2020/
     
192. Adobe Photoshop Filters - https://coursetreat.com/udemycourse/learn-photoshop-filters/
     
193. Adobe Photoshop Film & Video Presets - https://coursetreat.com/udemycourse/learn-photoshop-film-video-presets/
     
194. Adobe Photoshop Fill & Adjustment Layers - https://coursetreat.com/udemycourse/learn-photoshop-fill-adjustment-laye
     
195. Adobe Photoshop File Management - https://coursetreat.com/udemycourse/learn-file-management-with-photoshop-2020/
     
196. Adobe Photoshop Extensions - https://coursetreat.com/udemycourse/learn-photoshop-extensions/
     
197. Adobe Photoshop Export - https://coursetreat.com/udemycourse/learn-photoshop-export/
     
198. Adobe Photoshop Brushes - https://coursetreat.com/udemycourse/learn-photoshop-brushes/
     
199. Adobe Photoshop Basics Guide - https://coursetreat.com/udemycourse/adobe-photoshop-2022-basics/
     
200. Adobe Photoshop Automate - https://coursetreat.com/udemycourse/learn-photoshop-automate/
     

https://coursetreat.com

I (32M) recently started getting crush on my trans coworker (27FtM). We’ve been working together for almost a year now. I’ve never been attracted to anybody other than women so this is all new to me. We’ve hung out a bunch and do stuff outside of work. We’re a little flirty together and tease each other a lot. They have not had any surgery done but plans on having top surgery sometime soonish. After I realized I was starting to develop a crush on him I was starting to question my sexuality and asked myself do I like him because his body is still like a woman’s. After a bit of self reflection and spending time with him I realized that I don’t think I care about any labels for myself and that I just like spending time with him and I just want to get to know him more.
He’s been on some dating apps but haven’t had anything consistent yet. He’s also open to dating anyone but would prefer to date another trans person as it would be easier to understand what they’re going through.
I really want to ask him out but I know it’s not a good idea to date a coworker. I was also left with some emotional scars from the last relationship I had, which developed into trust issues with others. My coworker is genuinely the first new person I’ve met that I wanted to lower my guard with and to trust again.

Hi, every few years, someone will post a request on Anomic Burner mission fits. The older posts disappear in the mists of time and one has to do a lot of searching to find fits that are current enough to work. So I thought I'd post an update with all known fits.
Here is my thread from two years ago linking to the original posts with some updates of my own.
Here is a link to Eve Workbench with all the unified Nergal fits which work for all the frigate sized missions.
I'm old school so I do the burners with pre Nergal ships that I had set up back in the day - chiefly Wolf fits for the Succubus, Cruor and Worm Agent burners, Hawk for the Daredevil, Vengeance for the Dramiel and Garmur for the Team burners. For the base burners, I use the Cerberus fit in the linked Reddit post above for the Ashimmu burners, a Harpy for the Talos burner, a Vigilant for the Dramiel base burner and an actual working fit for the Antero Wyvern Carrier base burner, which I'll post below.

[Cerberus, Cerberus Antero Burner] Caldari Navy Ballistic Control System Caldari Navy Ballistic Control System Caldari Navy Ballistic Control System Missile Guidance Enhancer II Gist X-Type Large Shield Booster Pithum A-Type EM Shield Amplifier Pith X-Type EM Shield Hardener Federation Navy Stasis Webifier Federation Navy Stasis Webifier Caldari Navy Rapid Light Missile Launcher Caldari Navy Rapid Light Missile Launcher Caldari Navy Rapid Light Missile Launcher Caldari Navy Rapid Light Missile Launcher Caldari Navy Rapid Light Missile Launcher Caldari Navy Rapid Light Missile Launcher Medium Capacitor Control Circuit II Medium Capacitor Control Circuit II Hornet II x3 Caldari Navy Mjolnir Light Missile x5000 Nanite Repair Paste x300 Caldari Navy Inferno Light Missile x5000 Synth Crash Booster x1 Synth Blue Pill Booster x1 Agency 'Pyrolancea' DB5 Dose II x1 Mid-grade Crystal Alpha Mid-grade Crystal Beta Mid-grade Crystal Delta Mid-grade Crystal Gamma Mid-grade Crystal Epsilon Mid-grade Crystal Omega Zainou 'Deadeye' Missile Bombardment MB-705 Zainou 'Deadeye' Missile Precision GP-805 Zainou 'Deadeye' Target Navigation Prediction TN-905 Zainou 'Deadeye' Rapid Launch RL-1005 

This fit is stupidly expensive for a mission that nets you about 17 million plus LP. It's possible the fit could be used in Abyssals as well, but I haven't tried it. The drugs, implants and Cal Navy RL launchers are critical, or else you might well fail. At the very least, use Crash. The mission makes you fight 6 alternating waves of Dragonfly fighters and Mantis fighter-bombers.
The Dragonflies orbit at around 9000 meters and are absurdly difficult to kill. They have a sig radius of just 15 meters and even double webbed, they still do around 300 m/s. It will take around four or five reloads to kill one. Use EM missiles on these. The main guides say to use Explosive, but they rep their shields at a very high rate and their lowest shield resist is EM. Do not use drones on these until the last one in the wave as they will kill the drones almost immediately. When each wave is over, pull your drones back in.
The Mantis bombers are slower but do enormous damage - around 600 EM. They orbit at around 18000 meters. In order to web them, approach them and overheat the webs until they are at 14000 meters. Inbetween kills, tank the damage and rep the overheated webs, as you'll need to overheat them for each Mantis and you have no prop. You can use the drones on the Mantis wave as their torps do no damage to them.
I wouldn't reccomend doing this mission as it took me over half an hour and the price isn't worth it in my opinion.

Weed used to make me have fun and now I’m an anxious/paranoid mess every time I try to smoke. It used to make me have silly, dumb thoughts not these intrinsic, real world, emotionally heavy topics. Sober I can deal with them fine without the panicked feeling that weed gives me.
I used to love weed. It’s been probably 8/10 years since I was a habitual smoker. Sometimes I think my heavier drug use in college changed how my body processes weed. Because ever since those years it’s been different.
Usually I’m a talkative outgoing person and when high I am so in my head I don’t want to talk to anyone.
I want to find a weed that works for me. I know someone else has felt exactly like this.

I talked to my psychologist about how I don't want to have sex with men because I don't think vaginas are appreciated by men, in general.
I told her straight men sexualise and fetishize women who have penises but straight women and gay men don't do that with men who have vaginas. And that this means penises are more liked & valued. She said the vast majority of men have no interest in transgender women pre op and post op and that the vast majority have no interest in women who have penises nor that type of porn, sex work/sex tourism industry.
I said men are more attracted to a performance or costume of femininity (clothes, makeup, hair) than they are to actual women, so they are attracted to feminized men, and find a woman with an unshaven body, an overweight woman, very short hair woman or UNfeminine woman more of a turn off than feminized men. And that men think femininity=submissive and wanting to be fucked. So the men who look feminine are seen in that way. Whereas women and gay men are attracted to both feminine men and masculine men (think of all the androgynous male celeb heartthrobs over the years) and not just to masculinity itself, so they would find feminine men less of a turn off than masculine women. She said not at all.
I said oral is believed to be much more commonly performed on men than performed on women and that this isn't because of men being selfish, since gay men are men and have no issues about giving oral. She said oral is 50/50 between the genders.
I said vaginas are seen as gross and taboo and have stigma and that penises are more casual and normalised. She said not at all. She also said periods are not taboo, just private. I said gay men are known to be far more openly disgusted by and insulting about vaginas than lesbians are about penises. She said not at all. I said lesbians are more open to transgender women than gay men are open to transgender men. She said not at all.
I said large penises, boobs and butts are more appreciated and liked than any vagina type. I said that many bisexual men say that they are bi just for penis but not for the rest of a man and many bisexual women say that they are bisexual but for the rest of a woman but not the vagina. I said sex is not viewed as real sex without a penis and that sex is viewed to be all about the penis, so lesbian sex is not taken seriously. She said not at all.
I said vaginas are seen as submissive and penises are seen as dominant and that people think sexually dominant women are mostly about penis imitation in the form of strap ons and pegging. She said not at all.
I meant these things about people in general (not every single man or woman) and she said I was wrong about the vast majority of people. I even asked my parents and sister in a separate occasion, and they agreed with her. She also said people on Reddit who answer questions and ask questions are not so normal because most mainstream people don't do that, so to be wary of what I read on here.
What do you think?

I am a totally normal guy with completely normal medical history without any signs of odd mental health issues. But this morning I just woke up to an unescapable, undeniable feeling of dread that existed without any stimulation from reality aside from complete darkness. The night before tonight was a normal regular night. I was excited for my upcoming interviews as I just recently completed my nursing lisencing exam and their qualifications. But then, there was a phone call that day which was private. It did not bother me at first but it felt strange. I had, never ever, in my existence, ever, recieved one before. Then I started researching why it happened and if it was normal. It was my very average anxiety attack essentially. A part of me thought it might be an interviewer that I skipped out at but it turns out to be much much worse.
At a certain point, I decided to leave it alone and continue with my work then gaming with friends that night. This went on until 2 AM which then I fell asleep quite quickly. This is where the creepy shit starts to happen. Normally my dreams make some sort of sense but tonight it felt like it was controlled by someone or something. Let me explain. My dream started off normal. I dreamt I was an graduate student studying marine biology and was about to embark on a submarine that would descend deep sea. However, it was testing new equipment which would push deep sea diving further than we imagine. So I descended with the whole crew until a certain point and I was nominated to enter "the room". "The room" was a specialized and protected compartment that would isolate me and put me in visualization with the surrounding marine life. Essentially I would see all of my surroundings using specialized light beams. But something went wrong. The submarine had started breaking and was descending at a speed that was too fast. All I could hear is the captain saying its going to be alright and the rest of the crew working with smiles on their faces while we descended into hell. My compartment has better insulation so I could see them slowly freeze before my eyes. It disturbed the hell out of me so I decided to close my eyes.
Which brought me to my second dream. This second dream was quick and swift, filled with happy memories like a weird mix of batman, my university life, an anthropology class and random friends that acted like "mean girls". Felt like a sitcom. But for some reason, they started to disappear as though someone was killing them off. You know the feeling of comfort when you watch a sitcom but then people start leaving or get killed off? This was the feeling. For me, it was similar to watching Micheal Scott leave the office. No more comfort. This person in control of my dreams was intentionally destroying my escape from the deep sea nightmare. Usually the happy parts is where I wake up from in the morning but this was not the case.
Essentially what happened next was the person dragged me back into the first dream where I woke up in the submarine randomly on land. I had talked to the villagers and they said everyone else in the submarine had all disappeared. The reason I escaped was because the compartment pulled off and rose to the surface before I experienced death. But then the dream got weird. I began to see pokemon in hallucinations as though they were alive. None of this felt real and I wasn't sure why. Then I started getting cold all of a sudden. And colder. Then I started freezing. I blinked my eyes and I was in submarine again. But this time, I had no escape. It was as though someone had control of my dreams and was dragging me back into the deep sea dream.
So me being logical, I didn't believe it and I woke up. At first, it felt normal as my senses were gathering. But I couldn't move, I felt paralyzed. I turned to my left and there was a chair imagined as shadow. It was weird. I couldnt control my body temperature and I started feeling colder and colder. I had to break out of the paralysis so I started screaming until I felt I had some touch with reality temporarily. My temperature and body started regulating but my mind was slowly losing sense of reality and going through some psychosis episode. I know because Ive seen this in dementia patients Ive worked with prior. I tried my hardest but every shadow around my room felt like someone or something was watching me and controlling me. Ive never felt this feeling in my life before. Even my thoughts started to get unnatural while I was imagining things everywhere. I had to use the bathroom to pee but I would walk downstairs with this uneasy feeling that something was controlling me. After I came back upstairs, I immediately started hallucinating all the worse things like death and murder for a split second but I pushed myself to look through my phone as a distraction. It helped me but I needed someone to snap me out of this psychosis and put me back into reality. As I sit here slowly writing this post, I wonder to myself if I will ever get another dream that makes me this paranoid. Some part of me thought it was triggered by the unknown of the private number. Its like it could be anything. I could be an interviewer or a scam call or a call with someone who had just wanted to mess with my dreams.

I have used Soylent in the past, and when I was disciplined enough I had several weeks where it was probably about 3/4 of my daily intake. Forgoing the story, after the first week or so (you know, routine of it and body adjustments to it) I remember I felt fantastic. I've been wanting to shift towards incorporating it again for most of my intake but want to do DIY due to cost, availability and other personal health reasons.
Inspired and intrigued by the "slop" on Big Brother, I did my research on it and figure I can make a version that would work for me. My working recipe for one day of food (calories, nutrients, etc) is as such:
Oats, 360g Vega One, All in One, 78g Oil (undecided), 1tbsp Water, 12c (approx)
Total calories would be about 1800, the two scoops of Vega One should hit the mark on most nutrients and the oats for fibre and satiation, digestion. Importantly, it's also dairy free (severe intolerance, minor allergy).
I made a batch without the oil and ate it over two days (with other food) and it seemed to go over quite well. Any thoughts?

I have only ever been with women, I have been a bull for cuck couple and had threesomes involving males but never actually Did anything to the male.
Since my teens I've always wanted to try dick, it turns me on and I fantasize alot about trying it. I live in Scotland and am wanting to meet a guy to try out this fantasy.
I'm 33 and would like to meet someone between 25 and 35, no preference in body type but dick 6.5 or lower.
I've never told a soul about this but would definitely be interested. I can't host and I don't drive, I work but my hours are flexible to an extent and I could travel by train or bus depending on location.

Firstly just want to mention I am in the UK.
So seemingly out of nowhere I have started to struggle sleeping. I can fall asleep fine but I wake up after three hours and then I can't get back to sleep. The first few nights this happened I didn't really care because I thought 'oh well we all have a few bad nights every now and again' and I didn't let it bother me.
However it's now been two weeks and it's starting to really affect me. I just want to go back to normal. I have tried sominex, amitriptyline (10mg), and melatonin gummies. None of them have worked.
I am worrying that my body has got into a new routine now where it just wakes up after three hours out of habit. I need to break the cycle so I called the doctor's to ask if they can prescribe even just a couple of nights worth of proper sleeping tablets to put me in a deep enough sleep to get through the night, or at the very least allow me to get back to sleep after waking at 2am. She said no but has given me some type of antihistamine used for anxiety called Hydroxyzine (10mg) I took one last night and it didn't work at all. In fact I woke up at 1am instead of 2.
I don't know why this has happened and I don't know how to get out of it. I asked the doctor as well if there was any kind of sleep therapy available and she said no. Told me to have a hot bath and some warm milk before bed. But the problem with that is getting to sleep is fine, a hot bath at 8pm isn't going to help me when I wake up at 2am.
So my question is, is there anything else I can try? I can't listen to podcasts or calming music etc as I do need silence to be able to fall asleep. I have heard magnesium helps, as does 5HTP. Can I take both of these things at the same time? I don't mean together at the exact same time, but can I take 5HTP if I am also taking a magnesium supplement?
If anyone has been through similar please share your tips on how you got out of this cycle!

I’m a 45m with a fairly decent history of gym attendance with a heavy focus on lifting.
I’m around 245, and using a eVolt scanner, I’m around 195 lean body mass. I’m looking to get down around 210 or so, so it’s not Terribly long journey.
I dropped to around 220 during the pandemic, a result of very little to do in the way of drinking or eating out, and rebounded with work stress causing bad habits. I find I just am not getting traction on losing weights this time around.
I’ve been trying to push closer to a 2lb a week deficit in calories (so roughly 2500 calories/day, 1.2g protein per pound). Mostly work from home, with a strength routine at a gym consisting of isolating routines (chest/shoulders, back, legs twice a week, then auxiliary movements or more shoulder work), basically a P/P/L split spread over 5-6 days a week.
I just feel like I can’t get more than a week into a serious push without mentally stalling, feeling like I see no changes, the scale fluctuates but stays relatively the same. Leads to mental fatigue and cheat meals/drinks.
Is it the age? Should I be backing off strictly to 2-3 sessions a week? Am I eating too low a calorie count?
Just feeling a little lost. Love the gym, would like to lean out after years of hard work and building a lot of strength.

Greetings! This chapter sets the stage, does a bit of worldbuilding, and expands on our absolute cinnamon roll of an alien deuteragonist.
Anyway, as always, I hope you enjoy. :)

CHAPTER 2

15 minutes ago
——
Y’ggdrasog nervously whistled to himself as he remotely piloted an unmanned stealth drone from his cloaked ship in the upper atmosphere of the alien planet, yet every so often did a happy little wiggle in his seat at the terminal. Despite the danger in what he was doing, he was shaking with excitement and literally glowing with glee (which, if you were curious, happened to be a lovely shade of banana-yellow).
But my apologies, dear reader; I’m getting ahead of myself.
You see, Y’ggdrasog worked as a galactic interplanetary system scout, colloquially known as a “spacer” among the citizens of the Ul’dril Galactic Collective (a governmental alliance between a wide variety of different sapient species that also happened to be his employer). His main function was piloting his personal scout ship to uncharted star systems to summarily un-unchart them.
While in this line of employment, he had been witness to countless wondrous things. He had seen stars go supernova, witnessed space dust forming beautiful nebulas tens of lightyears wide, and caught the frosted trails of comets slinging close enough to a star to off-gas their icy payloads. But nothing even came close to this, to every spacer’s wildest, most fantastical dream discovery:
LIFE! And not just any life, SAPIENT LIFE!
As the drone flew through the sky, descending towards the surface of the planet below, he reminisced on that fateful day approximately six planetary months ago…
He had been scouting the ice and gas giants in this yet-uncharted solar system, scanning their composition with the unmanned probe-drone he used to sample geological deposits, take gas samples and so on to determine if they could be possible new sources of rare elements to harvest for the Collective. He had just finished probing the seventh planet out from the star when he suddenly picked up multiple abnormal readings originating from the ocean-planet of the system. He sighed, figuring it would just be the usual; some leftovers from a solar flare that affected its magnetosphere or some such.
As he listened in through his radiation wavelength analyzer, he expected to hear the meaningless, purposeless static he had heard hundreds of times before. Instead, he heard strange patterns. Hang on, was that… were those- They were! Voices, in a language he didn’t recognize.
He recorded a sample, then pulled up his auto-translator and had his ship’s analytical programs study it, in case it was a distress call from some poor sap who had crash-landed their spacecraft. …But not a single known language was a match.
He scratched his head, puzzled. Could it be a code of some sort? It wasn’t uncommon for smugglers, pirates, spies, and other “off-the-books” types to hole up on uncharted worlds and use coded verbage to prevent detection by Collective authorities. He had the ship analyze it to at least determine what Collective species the vocal cords that produced them were, but again, no matches, not even when he had it scan the audio samples for possible voice-altering.
He sat back in his pilot seat, stumped. Then, he started connecting the dots.
If the vocal cords producing these noises weren’t recognized as a species already included in the Collective, that meant these were the voices of a species unknown to the Collective. An unknown species, but one that was was nonetheless smart enough to use radio waves…
His eyes flew open, and his bioluminescence began to glow the pure white of sudden realization.
…BY THE SPIRITS, IT WAS A NEW SAPIENT SPECIES!
He leapt up from his chair, and would have nearly deafened anyone nearby with the joyfully excited noises he started to make.
…Luckily, however, he was in space. And after all, in space, no one can hear you squee.
It took him nearly an hour to calm down enough to call it in over his quantum communicator and provide the audio samples he had recorded, then another hour to reassure his liaison on the other end countless times that no, this was not a joke, this was not a lie, an elaborate prank or some such- yes, he would be more than willing to testify to the truth of his statements in a Collective court, and yes, this was in fact the once-in-multiple-millennia moment he and most every spacer in the entirety of the Collective always dreamed of:
THIS WAS A NEW FIRST CONTACT!!!
…As Y’ggdrasog left Memory Lane and turned back onto Present Day Boulevard, he let the controls go for a second and proceeded to spin around in his chair in sheer excitement whilst giggling like a madman, literally glowing with giddiness, before swiftly grabbing the control stick again before the drone drifted off course.
HE found a new sapient species! HE did! He’d be in the Collective history archives for the rest of time!
…Months of preparations had to be done beforehand, of course. He had to wait a few long, loooong days on the outskirts of the solar system with his ship in full stealth-mode (so as to avoid attracting attention from the new species until the time was right) before a truly staggering amount of Collective ships arrived, chock-full of top experts in all sorts of social and scientific fields to fill any conceivable role in the analysis of this new species.
While he wasn’t allowed to participate in the work himself or see most of what they were doing, he was nonetheless ecstatic with the knowledge that the work was being done all because of him. Plus, at least he could attend certain intelligence briefings on their main findings as well as look at heavily-redacted versions of some of the results of their endeavors.
Various scientists from the myriad Collective species and dozens more scientific disciplines had gathered together, set up shop within a day and gotten to work. They performed long-distance surface scans, mapped the planetary geography, and analyzed their atmosphere and planetary conditions to determine what Collective species might be compatible for potentially cohabitating with them.
Y’ggdrasog was delighted to learn that they utilized oxygen for respiration just as his species (lumigog) and tens of others in the Collective did, in contrast to Collective species who had to have, say, an atmosphere mostly composed of carbon dioxide, who were out of luck.
Additionally, they drank the same liquid water for fluid regulation in their bodies as his own people did. …Though admittedly, at a much narrower spectrum of salinity than his own species was capable of tolerating. He found that a bit tragic; there was so much water to be found in their homeworld’s oceans. Yet unlike his own people, who could drink from nearly any water on their homeworld, these “humans” could only drink what they called “freshwater.”
However, any sadness he felt about their situation faded when he learned that the gravity of their homeworld was only 1.04x that of his own species’ homeworld; this meant that at least in the case of lumigogs, the answer of cohabitation was a very solid “yes!”
Moving along, the scientists in charge of engineering and military endeavors surreptitiously analyzed the humans’ levels of technology to determine their capabilities, if they were a potential threat to the Collective, and so on; they were deemed, to quote the spokesman of the Collective military, “mostly harmless.”
Y’ggdrasog thought this might be a bit unfair. …That is, until he read the reports, and found yet another reason to pity them. From what little he was able to read of the heavily-redacted documents, the humans were very, VERY primitive. Spirits, they hadn’t even developed fusion yet!
…Still, that was all the more reason to help them; and to do so, they needed a proper line of communication. Countless diplomats, ambassadors, emissaries and representatives of every Collective race were attending seminars on all the sociological experts were learning about the species’ social norms across distinct cultures. And most importantly, the linguistic experts and etymologists got the ball rolling for the true-AI algorithms of the larger vessels (far more complex than his own ship’s operating systems, which only measured in at a few paltry yottabytes) to sort out the languages these “humans” used.
…Speaking of, just how many languages did they need?! With each additional language that was added to the auto-translator databases, he thought surely this one will be the last, but no! You couldn’t swing around a “noodle” of “spaghetti” (the humans always seemed to choose such silly names for their food) without hitting someone speaking a new language!
But all the pity, sadness and frustration he felt was outweighed by the jubilation he felt knowing that all these countless man-hours of hundreds of individuals per each and every Collective species were happening because of him. All these people were here because HE found them, and he was ecstatic at the impossibly exciting prospect of welcoming this new species into the Collective- or on the off chance they didn’t wish to join them, it was determined that it was safe to at least uplift them technologically so that they could be potential new allies, as well as potentially provide new avenues for trade and commerce of never-before-seen exotic goods. After all, there was hardly any risk in doing so, as they were quite literally outnumbered by over a million to one by the allied races of the Collective.
…And after all that, when they had quadruple-checked everything, then quadruple-checked it again to be absolutely sure, the day of first contact FINALLY came. Everyone brought out the celebratory drinks, snacks and party favors. The diplomats sent out their messages in hundreds of human languages declaring a desire for peaceful contact, promises to assist them in the technological uplifting of their species to a post-scarcity way of life and an offer to join the Collective for the benefit of all parties involved, and THEN…
…
……
…Nothing.
No response…
After a few nervous, awkward hours of sitting alongside the other low-ranking crewmates of the larger vessels, he and all those around him got orders of radio silence from high command and for all the “non-essential” personnel to return to their ships and wait for further orders.
As he remembered the sinking feeling he’d experienced at that moment, Y’ggdrasog unconsciously gripped the drone control stick much tighter than necessary.
…All that waiting, the agonizing waiting for them to greet this new species, the one HE found, and for what?
More. Thrice. Damned. WAITING.
…But this time, there wasn’t even a payoff to look forward to, and no one above would tell him what was going on. He didn’t know why there was suddenly so much smoke in the air of the planet, nor what all those bright flashes lighting up the atmosphere midway through the first day were- and there were certainly no answers coming from high command.
He had to sit there in his spacecraft, and just… wait.
One planetary day passed. Then another. Then another, and so on.
In the downtime, he read and reread the guidelines for first contact back to back over and over again, trying to find out what the possible reason for the wait could be. …Unfortunately, all that availed him was eye strain and an extreme amount of boredom from trudging through all the legalese.
After a week of sitting around, watching the planet slowly spin beneath him while in orbit, he couldn’t stand it any longer. He needed to know what was wrong. He NEEDED to act- if only to silence the creeping dread that had slowly but surely permeated his entire being. A dread born of the worry that something had gone horribly, catastrophically wrong…
And thus, an idea formed: His drone.
He knew the humans’ tech levels; there was a smaller chance they could detect him than the literally astronomically low odds of him finding this species to begin with. …Instead, he was far more worried about the potential ramifications if anyone from high command knew what he was up to.
Long before the radio silence commenced, he was told in no uncertain terms that no, he couldn’t scan the planet, no, he couldn’t act as an ambassador, YES, they really meant it, and NO, it didn’t matter that “he really really REALLY wanted to help somehow, please please pleasepleasePLEASE-” …and after that last bit, they shut down his outgoing comms to high command for a full planetary month.
^…Jerks.
Er- more importantly, he was told that while no, he couldn’t help in the preparation process, after first contact commenced his main function would be to do what he did best. Scouting and scanning to tease out any additional information he could on the planet’s natural resources in order to assist with the technological uplift process.
The thing is, they had given no specific time frame- …just “after first contact commenced.”
Technically, the current time frame satisfied that condition.
So technically, he wasn’t doing anything he wasn’t supposed to, he was just- ^…uh… …t-taking initiative!
They couldn’t court-martial him for just doing a little scanning here and there to get ahead of his own workload, surely.
…And it would just be an entirely coincidental, happy accident if while doing this he managed to find out what in the name of the spirits above was happening.
And so he had slowly, carefully moved his ship in such a way that he was currently orbiting in what he hoped was the blind spot of most of the ships of any higher-ups.
…Purely so as to, uh- better position his drone’s entry point into the atmosphere, yes! Rest assured, he was only motivated by- um… a-avoiding negative weather patterns. ^{…Or something like that.}
Once in position, he released and directed it towards the planetary surface.
If lumigogs had sweat glands, his would have been in nervous overdrive as the drone descended through the atmosphere.
Would he be detected? Would this all be for naught?
He waited, glancing between the ships around him and the drone’s interface on his monitor, but from his readings on the other vessels it seemed like all the command ships’ sensors were focused on the bigger population centers of the planet. He let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He was safe- if only for now.
…He’d have to focus on a rural area. Despite every loophole and excuse he could come up with, he’d still be much better off remaining undetected and not interfering in whatever might be going on in more concentrated pockets of the species. It would likely take much longer to gather information this way than heading towards the larger population centers in search of clues, but he could still poke around on the sly for any information he could tease out from the surroundings.
…And hopefully then he could finally get the answers he so desperately craved.
<“Alter descent velocity. Slow to 50% speed and activate autopilot mode.”>
Y’ggdrasog looked at the aerial scans, deciding that what seemed to be an area focused on harvesting crops with a long road running alongside it dotted with the occasional primitive ground vehicle would be as good a place to start as any.
He highlighted the road with a flick of a clawed finger.
<”Descend to 100 meters above planet surface, then follow highlighted path at 20% speed. Proceed.”>
As the drone dutifully obeyed his commands and traveled along the stretch of paved road for a time, he was surprised at the lack of humans to be found despite the vehicles present. Each and every one had seemingly been abandoned; they all sat still, unmoving. His curiosity piqued, he highlighted a few of them in the control interface.
<“Halt forward momentum. Descend to 50 meters from planetary surface. Scan and analyze condition of marked targets.”>
As he finished his verbal command, the familiar synthesized voice of his drone’s onboard computer blared to life from the speakers of his terminal.

He shook his head, puzzled.
<“What happened here…? …Alright, ascend, 300 meters from planetary surface. Continue forward movement following the highlighted path, 15% speed.”>
Farther and farther the road stretched, but he didn’t see a single human upon it, nor in the surrounding area. He sighed and absent-mindedly gazed around at the surrounding environment. He couldn’t help but marvel at how- well, alien it all looked. The taller plant life he saw appeared to be quite complex, their stems covered in thick fiber and their extremities full of- oh, what was the word, “leaves?
…He hadn’t paid all that much attention during the portions of his schooling that covered exotic alien plant life found on feral worlds and the various homeworlds of the other races of the Collective. He figured he’d never really need to interact with much beyond the giant fungal pods, great lichen growths and so on of his homeworld. He was a spacer for spirits’ sake, not a xenobotanist, and-
…Wait, what was that?
<“Halt forward momentum. Reverse 50 meters. Pan visual sensors left, 30 degrees.”>
He squinted at the incoming visual feed. He was right, there was something laying in that ditch! Probably just a random piece of detritus, but better safe than sorry. He highlighted it.
<”Scan target. Assess.”>

<”...Descend toward target, 5% speed.. 2%... halt.”>
His eyes narrowed further as he zoomed the forward visual lens in. Whatever it was, it looked to be a biped, and-
…Wait a minute, he recognized that body structure! Spirits be praised, this had to be one of the members of the new species!
It- they, he corrected himself- had pale skin, long, dark brown fur atop their head, and were wearing clothing covering their torso and legs- though much of it was stained red, running all down the left side of their body.
What were they doing all the way out here in the middle of nowhere? And why were they laying in a ditch, unmoving? …Were they ok?
<”Scan target, and establish connection to ship auto-doc subsystem. Assess physical condition and cross-reference with known anatomical data of species designation: human.”>

Y’ggdrasog nervously swallowed, trying to center himself and focus despite what he had just heard. Well, that certainly answered that; no, she very much was NOT ok. Whatever had happened to her, it really messed her up.
<”Analyze if damage sustained is life-threatening without intervention given circumstances and location.”>

He swore under his breath.
<”...Expand and clarify analysis.”>

<”C-certainty of analysis conclusion…?”>

He put his head in his hands, his bioluminescence flickering between several colors- none of them good. Spirits above... She was going to die unless someone helped her!
…
…But he was in no position to do so…
He knew deep down that he was deluding himself if he thought he could get away with this if he was caught. No amount of loophole abuse and“legitimate” excuses could save him from severe negative repercussions, not when it came to something as serious as first contact.

He was already risking enough as it was…

Maybe he could let someone in one of the other ships know- no, that would give away that he’d been poking around on the sly…

Maybe- maybe someone else would find her in time, and they could save her? Or maybe, despite the odds, she might just get better on her own? Even if it took her past the 1.3 cycle mark to do so, there was still a- his brow furrowed as he did the math- 0.0000028% chance that she could survive, and a chance was a chance! …Right…?

No one would know if he didn’t intervene. It would be so easy- no chance of getting caught, no risk, no danger, just pull the drone-prone back to the ship, return to his original position, scrub the flight logs, and-

…
……
…No.
No, she’s not.
He opened his eyes and spoke, voice full of grim certainty.
<”Descend to two meters above highlighted subject. Very, VERY carefully use stasis field to attach to subject, entangle her matter with an equivalent mass of carbon from the fabricator hold, then return to quantum anchor point with cargo and safely lower the subject prone beside the drone chassis. Proceed.”>

He got up from the terminal and took off for the drone bay as fast as his taloned feet could carry him, one thought repeating itself over and over in his head as he went, a mantra of sorts:

I'm Autistic. My husband Jareth is disabled. Life has not been paradise, due to his disability, plus brain damage from it makes him TA often. For the most part we're happy. He's never cheated but in the back of my mind he's never had opportunity to do so. Previously, a problem with Jareth was he used to ignore all my calls and texts & it was annoying, he's always home. He'd answer everyone else's texts/calls but he'd ignore mine. I confronted him about it, & he worked on that. My looks are not what they were when Jareth & I got together. I've aged &very insecure about it. Jareth tells me all the time how beautiful I am. My friend, "Martha," totaled her car last week & started calling me for rides or to pick things up for her. She pays gas money, of course. Martha's my age, looks similar to me, but I consider her beautiful. Martha & I had been busy with life, so she didn't meet Jareth until three days ago. Martha told me he's hot. Well, one of her two roommates "Rag," started drama with her and was on something. The other roommate, "Drew" asked me if Jareth could stay the night over there, to simply make sure Rag doesn't jump Martha again. Also, Drew can't fight. Before he became disabled, Jareth was in the military & can fight really well. He still can. Rag is afraid of Jareth. He suddenly behaves when Jareth is present. Martha was bruised really badly on 60% of her body where Rag intentionally hit her where she had been injured in the carwreck. I dropped Jareth off at Martha's, made sure Martha knew the details of his condition/what to do in an emergency. I was curious about Jareth's sincerity in his vows. So, Jareth calls me & I jokingly ask if he did anything with Martha. He openly said that he rubbed her back. This pissed me off I didn't lose my cool. Last week, I asked him to rub my back because I have pain issues & he complained he didn't want to, etc.I didn't get a backrub when I needed it but he rubbed hers..it rubbed me the wrong way-Pun intended! When Martha heard me throw that in Jareth's face, she started joking around about it. I have texted Jareth a few times since he's been over there. Nothing harassing, just cute stuff the kids did & some reels that would make him laugh. He has ignored all my texts after I spoke to him and was told about the backrub. I confided in other friends about this. They say I'm in the wrong. I'm getting told now by others I have confided in that I "set him up," that I'm overreacting because I didn't set boundaries and she's injured. I'm indifferent towards Martha. I've been cheated on before by exes & it's futile to get mad at the female. Happy men can't be stolen. Period. Martha doesn't owe me loyalty. She didn't make vows to me. I don't have all information, yet but I'm not chasing something that wants to be gone. But AITA for using my friend's situation to test my husband? Is Jareth TA for rubbing an injured female's back when he recently refused my request?

As I'm about to turn 30, I've been reflecting on the past few years of balancing work and grad studies. In doing so, I realized that my physical appearance has not always taken precedence, although I have not entirely neglected it either.
Over the last two years though, I've been incorporating a lot of good self-care habits (many of which are mentioned below), and I'm proud of the progress I've made.
That said, I want to start investing more time and effort into my appearance because I've noticed how much it boosts my confidence and makes me feel put together!
I'm a huge fan of aesthetics in all aspects of life, whether it's art, home decor, or personal style, so putting effort into my appearance feels like a natural extension of that passion. :)
Anyway, I decided to use ChatGPT to create a comprehensive glow-up plan and thought I'd share it for inspiration. I absolutely love seeing what others do and learning from their experiences, so if you have any recommendations or plans of your own, please feel free to share them!
Here's my plan:
Daily habits:
Eat cleaner
SPF & skincare
Meditate every morning
IF Daily from 8 pm to 12 am
Never stay up past midnight
Use mouth taping every night
Oil lashes & brows every night
Journal & list three things I'm grateful for
Bi-daily habits:
Use tret
Drink matcha
Drink bone broth
Practice yoga & exercise
Weekly habits:
Oil hair
Face mask
Use clay mask
Oil face massage
Exfoliate skin & moisturize body
Fortnightly habits:
Therapy
In-home massage
Swimming & sauna
Monthly habits:
Microneedling
Laser hair removal
Scheduled events:
Go for a blood test
Go dermatologist for a consult
Go for a trim, blowout, and facial
Go shopping for nice wardrobe pieces
Get professional teeth cleaning & whitening treatment
PS: I'm not sure how many of these I'll be able to commit to long-term, but having a plan def helps me form good habits!

Sorry for the long post. I'm currently sitting in the bathroom trying to cry silently because my partner is in the other room. I (22F) am the HL partner and my partner (27M) is the LL. We've been together what will be 3 years in May. Our relationship is amazing and he's everything I've ever wanted. I genuinely believe he is my soulmate.
When we first started dating, we would be having sex 2-3 times a day- we couldn't keep our hands off each other. As the years progressed, our sex life evolved to maybe 2-4 times a week, but still adventurous, exciting, fantastic. We'd have sneaky quickies mixed with hour long sessions, still discovering each other and finding out what each other liked.
Lately though, maybe the last few months or so, that's changed. He's always been the LL, and his libido would be affected by things like weight gain, back pain, being tired from work, eating too much, etc. I was always understanding (for context, one of his exes would constantly push him for sex, getting mad if he wasn't in the mood, and she eventually dumped him for not having enough sex with her. I'm trying my hardest to not be like that at all). But lately it seems like he's never in the mood. The last three times we had sex he bent me over and finished in less than two minutes, without any regard for my pleasure.
He would never be in the mood whenever I initiated, so for basically our whole relationship he initiated whenever he was in the mood, and I've been so desperate that I just drop everything for it. He also jokes a lot about it, like "come here, I'll make you late for uni" and then never follows through so I'm never sure if he's joking or not. He's gotten upset a few times because I've laughed it off thinking it was a joke when he was actually initiating.
My sexual background I guess you could call it: - I am not at a healthy weight and my body confidence is below zero, so initiating is something way out of my comfort zone while being rejected feels like a soul crushing blow - I was sexually assaulted before I met my partner and a lot of issues come from that like equating sex with love and worthiness - For me, sex is the equivalent of quality time together and a way to be close to my partner - I would gladly have sex twice a day, every day, but would honestly take once a week if it was truly fulfilling
Today, he was out. I got up the courage to initiate over text and tell him I wanted to have sex when he came home. He seemed into it and excited. I shaved everywhere, put makeup on, did my hair, and put on lingerie (again, my body confidence is below zero so this was a big deal to me). He came home and was tired, so I pampered him a little, took his boots off, got him a drink, offered him his PS5 controller so he could unwind. He was aware I wanted to have sex, but I also reminded him that I wasn't pressuring him and we didn't have to. He said "I know" and "you're hot" and grabbed my ass. I went into the bedroom while he played, lit candles, got some toys out, and put some music on, then waited. And waited.
I eventually went back out to give him a kiss and kind of remind him I was there and saw that he was tired. He apologised, which meant it wasn't happening. I said that was fine, and it was, I don't want to pressure him, but then I had to blow out the candles and take my lingerie off, and I bawled my eyes out. I feel like shit. Am I not attractive to him anymore? Does he really not want to have sex with me?
I guess I'm just venting, thank you if you've read this far and sorry for the mobile formatting. I just feel like shit, rejected in lingerie.

I'm putting this here because some people may not have access to where I posted last night.
Some of you may know that my wife Kim has not been in good health for quite a while. I don't know that I've ever told anyone on here the full extent. So buckle up. This is going to be a long and bumpy ride.
She has been diagnosed with COPD, congestive heart failure, kidney disease, morbid obesity, diabetes, degenerative joint disease in her hips and knees, and neuropathy (nerve damage) in her feet and ankles. Two of the medications she takes for pain cause constipation. Not only that, but she has dealt with claustrophobia, anxiety and depression for years, and more recently agoraphobia.
Anytime some little sniffle entered the house, she would end up in the hospital with bronchitis and pneumonia. February 2020 was no different...until COVID. They discharged her earlier than they wanted to because they had four or five positive cases on the floor where she was and they didn't want to take the chance on someone like her catching it. At the time we thought it was a great idea, or at least the lesser of two evils.
But when someone with severe anxiety and depression gets word of a global medical pandemic, their mind starts working overtime. We were one of the households that started panic buying things like toilet paper and canned goods and cleaning supplies and hand sanitizer. We had to wipe everything down before it came into the house. We had to leave mail and packages outside for 24 hours before we brought it in.
And she never left our bedroom. She freaked out every time one of us left the house. We had to change clothes as soon as we came in and leave whatever we were wearing outside for 24 hours. And it's not like we have a little mudroom or anything like that. Front door, front room...side door, kitchen...back door, family room.
When you lay in bed for months and months on end, you lose function of your body. You lose strength. You lose the ability to do things most of us take for granted, such as get up and go to the bathroom. Eventually she developed something they call foot drop. Instead of your ankles forming a normal L shape, they look more like hockey sticks (or feet in high heels). And when you do get up and put weight on your heels, you fall backwards.
And that is exactly what happened to her couple months ago. If I hadn't been standing right behind her, trying desperately to hold her up, she would've smashed her back into the bed frame and done some serious damage to her already compromised body.
Kim has been in this hospital for seventy days. She's been in five different rooms on four separate floors, including a week in the intensive care unit. She has almost died three times, through no fault of the hospital. Once was due to her poor breathing and her highly diminished blood oxygen level. She was given three options: use a BiPAP machine, get a tracheostomy, or go to hospice.
I ended up bringing her BiPAP machine from home and she has used it maybe half the time. You can't put a full face mask on someone who suffers from claustrophobia. You also can't rely on a BiPAP machine to breathe for you. Then it becomes more like a ventilator and, since she has filled out "do not resuscitate" paperwork, a ventilator is out of the question.
She and I have talked on multiple occasions about what her future will be like. I have asked her point-blank a number of times whether or not she wants to live. Some days she said yes, some days she said no. I've always held out hope that there would be more "yes" days.
We had a family meeting today with the doctor, the physician assistant, the charge nurse, the case manager, and reps from physical therapy, occupational therapy, respiratory and cardiology. They explained her situation in great detail. They talked about why she has consistently been denied when it comes to rehabilitation centers. Some places don't accept my insurance, some places don't have bariatric beds available, and some places don't think she's made enough effort.
In the past seventy days, physical therapy has attempted to work with her eleven times. She has refused on six occasions. The first four times she excepted, it was simply a matter of sitting up on the edge of the bed. It was no effort to have her stand, because they were concerned that she would fall. But last Thursday, they lifted her up on what's called a Hoyer sling, sat her down in the chair, and helped her stand up twice. It was maybe a total of a minute, but it was more than she had done in 4 1/2 months.
We thought it was a turning point. We thought maybe she was actually going to do this. Then the next day she had another episode with her oxygen levels and apparently at that point decided that she was done.
So, after this meeting, after discussing the entire situation with me and with her daughters, my wife has decided on hospice care at home. It's definitely not what I wanted. But I told her that it was her decision and I would support her, no matter what.
She kept asking me what I want. I finally told her that I want her to be comfortable with whatever decision she makes. I can't and I won't make the decision for her. And I won't try to convince her to change her mind, no matter what I want.
She's 58. We've been together for almost 20 years and married for just over 6. She has three children, 40, 33, and 27. We have three grandchildren, 9, 4, and 2. But she's been suffering from physical and emotional pain for so long that none of that seems worth it to her. I can't say I understand. But it's her decision.
If you're still reading this, I'm grateful. There's a lot of pain and frustration in those words. I don't know if you believe in any sort of divine being or not. Personally, I no longer do...but that's a completely different post. And I would really appreciate any positive vibes, good juju, prayers, etc. that you can spare. I know that a dear friend of mine is struggling right now due to her father's health. And I know that people often say "I'll keep _____ in my thoughts and prayers." And right now, Kim and I could use all the help we can get.
Thank you JJ

I used to be a pretty heavy guy — 5 11, 250lbs ish give or take — and I lost about 80lbs and am at 175 ish. I’ve also gotten a tummy tuck to rid of the loose belly skin. Objectively i’m NOT fat and I KNOW that like statistically I’m pretty average, maybe a little chubby.
But i feel SO fat still. I’m constantly hiding my tummy with a cushion when sitting down, don’t buy size that fits me fits me bc I don’t like getting looks in case I look gigantic, and no one seems to like me bc of body. Might I add I’m asian and ppl expect me to be “petite” and all that.
It’s all in my head, but how do i actually make these intrusive, unhealthy thoughts go away? Keep working out and stress myself out if I’m not seeing results? What are some ways y’all pursued?