Hello to you, fellow ingrates.
Year 6 of DABR Defends the New York Giants from Criticism has arrived.

Season Recap

tl;dr: The Giants had their most successful season since 2016, and arguably since winning the Super Bowl in 2012 (if the draft spot/playoff success is the measurement) and went into draft night with the latest selection they've had since 2012, the first outside the top 11 since 2016.
Giants fans didn't really expect to win that many games this year. There were still some hopefuls for Daniel Jones but most people had come to terms with new GM Joe Schoen and new HC Brian Daboll pretty much setting up to replace him, declining his 5th year option.
It was the first year of this regime, they hadn't really been able to fix up the roster fully, etc. Most Giants fans I know were expecting a 4-7 win season, not sniffing the playoff race. Ha.
It all started week 1 vs Tennessee. It was honestly a story Giants fans have gotten familiar with. Look absolutely horrible in the first half of the game, but somehow struggle back into it in the second half, only to be dramatically disappointed at the end of the game. After Daniel Jones threw a red zone interception with just under 9 minutes to go, we thought that was pretty much it.
But then with 4 minutes left, Saquon Barkley rips off a 33 yard run, Daniel Jones converts a 4th and 1, and the Giants score a TD to pull them to just a 1 point deficit. Most Giants fans are thinking "okay he's gonna kick it, play for overtime, I respect that, we didn't think it would be that close anyways."
And then we see the offense staying on the field...uh oh. The offense wasn't exactly clicking on all cylinders to that point in the game, having been shut out in the first half. If we don't get it, the game is pretty much lost. Daboll calls a shovel pass, Saquon gets it, it looks like it's completely doomed...I'm thinking "here we go again, his first game and the media is already going to be all over him for going for it"...but Saquon fights his way in! Giants take the lead for the first time in the game. We're feeling good, Daboll's huge balls in that situation giving us some confidence.
Then the Titans methodically work the ball down the field (along with a couple of assists from Austin Calitro and Darnay Holmes), setting up a 47 yard field goal for Randy Bullock to win the game.
Now, I'm thinking, "of course this is what happened, they gave us some hope, now it's going to get ripped away from us, just like always. Story of the last few years at times."
...and then Bullock missed the kick. That was the start of what turned into a magical first half of the season, the Giants getting off to a 7-2 start, all 7 wins coming by a 1 score margin (though the Bears and Texans games were a bit cleaner than the final scoreline suggests), and 5 of them really coming down to big time plays in the last 5 minutes of the game.
The Titans story, taking the lead with 3:38 left in the 4th quarter and Julian Love sacking Baker Mayfield to force 4th and 15 the next drive against Carolina, Kayvon Thibodeaux and Xavier McKinney batting down Aaron Rodgers' passes in London, Love intercepting Lamar Jackson to set up the game winning score against Baltimore, McKinney and Love stopping Christian Kirk at the 1 yard line on the last play against Jacksonville.
All of those games are games that go against us in previous years. But this year was just different. And somehow through it all, there were Saquon Barkley and Daniel Jones as well. Saquon was the focal point of the offense early in the season, Jones being efficient in a heavy, limited, play action focused passing attack.
All thoughts of the Giants earning a top pick and replacing Daniel Jones pretty much went out the window by week 4, and hope for Jones maybe finally becoming the QB he was drafted to be started to blossom in some parts of the Giants fanbase.
Things came crashing down a bit the next 4 weeks. Awful losses to Detroit, Dallas, and Philly, with a tie against Washington in there too that many Giants fans felt they deserved to win capped off a 1-4-1 stretch where the Giants simply did not look good. They looked more like what we expected the team to look like coming into the year. The playoff spot was no longer guaranteed, at 7-5-1. But a flexed SNF game against Washington would pretty much decide the season.
And the Giants took that win against Washington and ran with it. A close loss against the Vikings that was probably the best passing attack game of the season to that point, a dominating win against the hapless Colts that locked the Giants into the playoffs, and a surprisingly tight and scrappy game between the Eagles starters and the Giants backups gave Giants fans some hope headed into the playoffs. We didn't expect to win a Super Bowl, but the matchup against the Vikings seemed winnable.
And winnable it was, as in classic 2023 Giants fashion, they took a lead about halfway through the 4th quarter, and a couple of clutch plays on defense by Cordale Flott and Xavier McKinney ended the game.
Then we went to Philly and got absolutely ass blasted, ending our season.
That left the Giants with the 25th pick in the class, entering an offseason with a lot of business to take care of.

Free Agency Recap

The Giants had a lot more room to operate in free agency this year than last year, and Schoen was relatively creative in how he wanted to go about it.
The first step in that process though was figuring out the status of his pending free agents; most notably, the two who led the way on offense most of the year: Daniel Jones and Saquon Barkley. The Jones negotiations were tense, Jones asked for the moon and the team was not having it. Eventually (literally right before the tag deadline) they settled on a 4 yr, 160m extension with 82m fully guaranteed and a boatload of incentives that could push the value up to almost 200m. That allowed the team to tag Saquon Barkley, whose extension talks are reportedly still stalled, as Barkley declined an offer worth almost 14m during the Giants' bye week, and continues to find the Giants' offer(s) unpalatable.
Speculation is that Barkley is seeking more guaranteed money from the Giants (greater than the sum of 2 franchise tags), but Barkley's camp is not leaking much (reportedly because Saquon doesn't want them to). And according to most reporters, Saquon is too competitive to actually sit out the season, removing his last bit of leverage.
Possibly the biggest addition of the Giants' free agency period was actually a trade: The Giants traded the Chiefs' 3rd rounder (acquired for Kadarius Toney) for TE Darren Waller. This is a huge move because the Giants were dead last in explosive pass play rate by a WIDE margin. Only like 6 individual team seasons since 2010 had fewer explosive passing plays than the 2022 Giants. That's something that Schoen and Daboll immediately set out to fix, and Darren Waller is one of the best explosive pass weapons in the league, leading all TEs in explosive pass plays this season despite playing just 9 games this year. Reports out of OTAs are that the Giants are expecting Waller to basically fill a "WR1" role for them; not necessarily in alignment but being the focal point of the offense, high target share, etc.
Schoen and Daboll followed that addition up with two more explosive pass play options: retaining Darius Slayton, and adding Parris Campbell to the room. Slayton is a solid WR, he's good for 600-700 yards when he gets run. His hands are inconsistent, but he makes up for it often. Campbell finally broke out having a healthy season for the Colts this season. I think Campbell is mostly insurance for Wan'Dale Robinson, who is coming off of a torn ACL, but if healthy should get primary run in the slot.
The Giants' other two main moves came on the defensive side of the ball, adding LB Bobby Okereke to a LB room that comprised of: Jarrad Davis, Micah McFadden, and Darrian Beavers (coming off a torn ACL). Much needed improvement in that room. The Giants also added Rakeen Nunez-Roches and A'Shawn Robinson to the DL room to improve the depth there; Dexter Lawrence and Leonard Williams were playing too many snaps, and the Giants were really bad against the run last year.
In the process though, the Giants lost both of their starting centers from 2022, Nick Gates and Jon Feliciano, as well as S Julian Love, who had been a consistent staple of the defense the last few years.

Draft Needs

The Giants roster was in much better shape this year than last year, but the team still had a number of problems:

1. CB was still a HUGE need for the Giants, and one that had not been properly addressed yet. Adoree' Jackson had another very good year in 2022, but the spot across from him had been a mishmosh of misfit toys: Fabian Moreau had a nice little run, but struggled down the stretch. Nick McCloud got a lot of run at CB2 after being claimed on waivers from the Bills. Cordale Flott had been drafted as a nickel defender but got some run there. And the slot position wasn't much better, as Darnay Holmes continued to be a liability there. This position needed reinforcements. I've been a relatively vocal minority in the Giants fandom saying this has been the BIGGEST need the team had for a couple of years now (basically aside from the one year that we had Bradberry and Jackson both on the team).
2. Despite adding Slayton, Campbell, and Waller, WR was still something the team needed. Specifically someone who could develop into a WR1 type player. The Giants WR room is relatively deep, but just adding Campbell and Waller and running back last year's group didn't feel sufficient. The team clearly was putting an emphasis on speed, separation, and yards after the catch ability.
3. Center was a massive need. The Giants basically didn't have a center on the roster who had played meaningful NFL snaps. Ben Bredeson could move to center if needed, but it wasn't that solid of a plan. And in what seemed like a good center class, this seemed like a good way to solve that problem.
4. LB. The LB2 spot currently will be either Jarrad Davis, Micah McFadden (who basically lost the job last year to Jarrad Davis), or Darrian Beavers (who tore his ACL last year). I think that says it all.
5. RB: Saquon is on the tag, so you feel okay here, but the team has been seeking a solid compliment for him for a while. They were in on a few of the RBs last year and the value never lined up, and Matt Breida and Gary Brightwell didn't really cut it last year. They don't want to run Saquon into the ground early in the year like they did last year, so having a compliment for him is big.
6. S: Losing Julian Love is a tough one. He played a lot of snaps and wore a lot of hats for this defense last year, especially with McKinney missing time with a hand injury. The team likes Jason Pinnock, and drafted Dane Belton in the early 4th last year, but more depth and competition here would be very welcome.

So let's get into the picks:

1.24: Deonte Banks, CB, Maryland

Seems like maybe Schoen agreed with me!
It was a lot harder to try to predict what the Giants would do this year, just by virtue of having a later pick. But the general consensus among the beat seemed to be that the team wanted to get a CB or an offensive playmaker with that first pick. I was a little skeptical of CB being an option, seeing how many mocks had all 5 of the top CBs off the board, but that often left WRs available.
So right after the Jets took Will McDonald at 15, if you looked at the board, only 1 CB had been taken and no WRs had been taken. That felt pretty good for the Giants.
Then Forbes and Gonzalez come off the board, and the top 4 WRs come off the board from 20-23.
That left the Giants feeling a little antsy. They had one guy they really wanted left, and negotiated a trade up one spot with the Jaguars to secure their guy: Deonte Banks.
This pick is perfect for what the Giants want to do on defense. Wink Martindale's reaction should say it all, if you go watch the Giants' behind the scenes videos on the draft process.
Banks is a tall, long, and athletic corner, which are all important traits for Wink's press man heavy defense. He's super fluid and smooth in his hips. He tested absolutely crazy. He also plays with a swag that I think Wink and Giants fans will come to really appreciate. He plays confident, he plays fast in terms of processing, and he plays physical.
He still has some development to go, I'm not saying he's going to be a top CB in the league from day 1. He wasn't a super ball productive corner, but that's not something Wink necessarily needs. It will take some time for him to get comfortable with the complexity of route runners in the NFL. But the tools are all there, and the Giants get a perfect scheme fit.
Banks will come in and immediately be the starter at CB across from Adoree' Jackson, and the trickle down effect that will have on the Giants depth chart at CB will be tangible.

2.57: John Michael Schmitz, OC, Minnesota

As this pick was coming up, Schoen and Daboll were discussing who to pick, and basically said "okay we're either going with Schmitz or (we'll get to that later ;) )".
Then the Bears traded up to the pick before the Giants pick. And Joe Schoen said "oh fuck." Daboll tried to calm him down and said "well I guess we're getting ."
Then the Bears took Tyrique Stevenson (good pick!), leaving the Giants the choice between the two players. And the Giants went with Schmitz.
Full disclosure: I was not a huge JMS fan in the draft process. I thought he was super solid all around, but he wasn't really impressive to me, there weren't a lot of overwhelmingly positive reps or traits in my eyes. I thought he was maybe a little heavy footed, especially in pass pro, and his testing kind of backed that up, and I didn't really see full unlocked power either.
I was probably a bit harsh on him in terms of the grade though. Like I said, he's a super solid player. There's relatively little to really complain about. He's smart, he's experienced, and he made few mental mistakes. His snaps were consistent. He is pretty strong though not crazy so. His anchor is really good, and he plays nasty and competitive, which is something the Giants are definitely looking for. It helps he had a really good Senior Bowl week too.
Was Schmitz my favorite center in this class? No. But he was for many people, and for some good reasons. Schmitz will come in and immediately start at center for the Giants, bringing the dead snap with him. If he can be the 3rd best player on this unit (behind Andrew Thomas and hopefully Evan Neal taking a step forward this year and being healthy), it'll be an immensely calming and steadying presence that should raise the OL play of the whole unit.

3.73: Jalin Hyatt, WR, Tennessee

So you may be wondering: Who was Player X?
Well immediately after drafting Schmitz, Schoen looked around the room and pretty much said "what if we can still get ?" He decided that the price he was willing to pay was the Giants 4th round pick. And he and everybody else in the room started calling.
That included Brian Daboll, who leaned over and said "hey should I text [Rams HC Sean] McVay?" Schoen said "yeah sure go for it." And Daboll officially negotiated the Giants trading up from 89 to 73 to select Player X: Tennessee WR Jalin Hyatt
Hyatt is a really fun player to watch. The speed blows you away on tape. It's the kind of speed that even if you're not throwing it to him all the time, defenses have to take note when he comes on the field and play him differently. He's not necessarily slippery or elusive after the catch but (and I'm scared to frame it this way but I'm doing it anyway) the speed and acceleration gives him credibility there, the way that Odell was such a YAC threat on slants just getting to full speed and outrunning everyone.
He's a little high cut I think, and that leads to a little bit of trouble with crisper routes. He wasn't asked to run a very complex route tree at Tennessee, though I do think he has the skills to improve in that sense. The biggest concern for me is just how quickly we can get him up to speed beating press and playing through physicality. When he has room to work, he can beat CBs in a few ways, but NFL DBs will knock even very good WRs off their routes at times. And that follows through to contested catches.
The Giants' WR room is so crowded it's hard for me to say exactly what Hyatt's role will be starting out. The Giants started last year trying to use different WRs in different ways on a game to game basis. Then the wheels fell off obviously, with Shep, Wan'Dale, and Toney being hurt and Golladay stinking and all that. So I wonder if we see a return to that.
Hyatt can be a threat in a lot of ways, end arounds, screens, etc in addition to the obvious "go long" situations. Just how many reps he can carve out will be fun to track in training camp.

So the Giants come out of the first 3 rounds with 3 players who were commonly mocked to them at 25. Pretty good business! But let's get into day 3:

5.172: Eric Gray, RB, Oklahoma

The Giants traded away their 4th round pick to get Hyatt so they went 99 picks without making a selection.
Like I said earlier, the team has been looking for a compliment to Saquon Barkley for a long time, and they find it here with Eric Gray.
Schoen said he sees Eric Gray as a 3 down back. And you can definitely see why. He caught 88 passes over the last 3 years at Oklahoma and only dropped 2. He's also strong and physical, willing to pass protect. That physicality carries over into his running style, he runs hard and is willing to run through guys. He's bursty in short areas and has pretty solid vision in my opinion.
He's a compact guy, just 5'9 207. He's not super slippery or elusive, and he's not really a home run hitter. But in terms of finding a backup RB on day 3 to feed some of those tough yardage carries to and keep Saquon fresh, you could do worse than Eric Gray for sure.
The Giants ran a fair bit of "Pony" type formations in 2022, using 2 or even 3 RBs at times. The competition between Gray and Matt Breida for the true RB2 spot will be fun to see. Breida brings a little more explosiveness to the table, but Gray will certainly give him a run for his money. And depending on what happens with Saquon Barkley's contract situation, we may see even more of Gray down the line.

6.209: Tre Hawkins, CB, Old Dominion

When asked about what is different this year from last year, what improvements or what has gotten easier now that he's been in the chair for a full year, Joe Schoen talked a lot about really getting a good handle on what his coaches look for in players. And he singled out Wink in that respect because him and Daboll have worked together so much.
The Giants selection of Tre Hawkins really highlights that. Like with Deonte Banks, Hawkins brings a ton of physical traits. He tested through the roof. He has the length that the Giants look for. He's also super physical in both phases, run and pass, which Wink loves. ODU let him just play press man, so he's comfortable doing that.
He's a little slim still, so his frame needs some reworking, but that's common with CBs and especially ones from outside the P5 schools. He also has a lot of technique and FBIQ stuff to clean up. His footwork is messy, he's not always patient enough with his punch. His ball skills still leave something to be desired. He's still learning to read routes and manage space both in man and zone.
I figure Hawkins will come in and be a depth player and core STer for the Giants. If his play strength holds up against NFL scrutiny, he can definitely be a day 1 punt gunner. Wink has started calling Jerome Henderson the best DB coach in the league, so it'll be fun to see what Henderson can do with a ball of clay like Hawkins. Even if he ends up just being a STer and CB5 type guy, that's still a pretty good pick in the 6th round like this.
Also, sorry Patriots writer :)

7.243: Jordon Riley, DL, Oregon

Beating a dead horse at this point, but this is another pick Schoen highlighted as an example of his understanding of what Wink is looking for.
Obviously Riley is a flawed prospect, it's the 7th round. He was a 6th year senior who spent time at 4 different schools, starting at UNC, then going to JUCO for a year, then Nebraska for 2 years where he barely played, and finishing his college career at Oregon. PFF lists him as having just 534 career snaps in college despite the 5 years he spent at the P5 level. He wasn't very productive, partly because he barely played and partly because he's just not very good. He's not a good athlete.
What Riley does have, though, is size, strength, and knockback power. And that's what Wink is looking for in a depth NT. He eats blocks, stuffs up lanes, and just is hard to move.
Schoen put it this way:
"It’s hard to find these guys. When you get into the seventh round, you are looking for guys that maybe it will be hard to get at different areas. And another guy we spent time with, big run stopper in there, 6-foot-5, 330.
You walk out to practice, and there’s this 6-5, 330-pound guy, who piques your interest right there. Again, some of these guys in different schemes may not have the production, the tackles, the sacks. But for what Wink looks for in terms of size, length, knock-back — he possesses those traits.”

7.254: Gervarrius Owens, DB, Houston

Last pick in the draft and the Giants go back to the DB room. They took two CBs already, but some depth/developmental guys at safety would help. Enter: Gervarrius Owens.
Owens is a former CB turned S from Houston. The CB in him flashes to me on tape, I thought his ball skills as a safety were good. He's athletic enough to play pretty much any safety spot, including that single high spot that teams find difficult to fill. He's super physical and willing to play downhill and tackle. He's super experienced, he was a team captain and 4 year starter for Houston.
He makes a lot of mistakes, however. The angles he takes to the ball in both phases are super inconsistent. He missed a ton of tackles in college, so that technique needs to be worked on. The ball skills turned into PBUs rather than INTs; Wink won't mind that but some of them were like "he really should have just caught that."
Owens is another guy like Hawkins who looks primed to earn his roster spot on special teams and provide solid depth for the team's DB room. Wink likes to play 3+ safety sets, especially when he feels like he has a good group there. And the Giants' S room right now is basically Xavier McKinney and a bunch of question marks, so it's entirely feasible that Owens can come in and beat Dane Belton, Jason Pinnock, and Bobby McCain to earn playing time early on.

UDFAs

The Giants UDFA class included a few notable names. 5 total players who got 100k+ in guarantees:

1. Bryce Ford-Wheaton, WR, WVU: The Giants gave Bryce Ford-Wheaton a LOT of guaranteed money for a UDFA: 236k, which is the full season PS salary plus 20k. BFW was one of "my guys" this year I was hoping for the Giants to get. He's got the size and athleticism to be really good, but he's a little one note right now. In a crowded WR room, I kind of doubt he'll make the roster without some injuries (or Wan'Dale/Shep being on PUP) but like other late rounders/UDFAs, if he can find some value on special teams, he's a fun upside swing.
2. Dyontae Johnson, LB, Toledo: Another guy who got a lot of guaranteed money. The Giants needed some reinforcements at LB and clearly didn't find them in the draft. Super productive in college, very instinctive player, but I'm not sure if he can run with the league. He'll compete with the Giants mishmosh of LBs to play on special teams.
3. Ryan Jones, TE/FB, East Carolina: The Giants have been searching for a kind of H-Back type for a while now. Last year they brought in Jeremiah Hall from Oklahoma, that didn't stick. Andre Miller, who was a WR at Maine, seemed like he was getting run at that spot in camp last year, but a broken arm ended his season. Chris Myarick ended up taking some of those reps. Ryan Jones kind of fits that mold as well.
4. Habakkuk Baldonado, EDGE, Pittsburgh: The Giants' pass rusher depth is...not great. Behind Kayvon Thibodeaux and Azeez Ojulari, it's Jihad Ward, Oshane Ximines, and Tomon Fox. And Ojulari missed a lot of time last year. Baldonado could potentially come in and earn a spot over Ximines/Fox. He's got good play strength and power and fits what the Giants would need as more of an edge setter and run defender to give Thibodeaux/Ojulari a rest rep before letting them loose to rush the passer.
5. Gemon Green, CB, Michigan: Another tough and physical corner. I don't think there's really a spot for him on this roster with the additions of Banks and Hawkins, and I think he's not quite the athlete the Giants look for at CB, but as a last resort/STer he can potentially get somewhere.

Final Takeaways

I did this last year because it was Schoen's first year here, but I like the idea of doing it every year. What can we learn from the way Schoen drafted this year that we can file away and learn for the future? What can mockers learn from this to inform them of who makes sense for the Giants.
And it's pretty similar to last year:

1. Athleticism. Once again, pretty much every player the Giants drafted, and the UDFAs generally, were excellent athletes who tested well. The main exceptions being JMS (who was still a solid athlete) and Jordon Riley this year; where the exception last year basically was just DJ Davidson. This team has faith in its coaching staff and wants to give them players they can work with.
2. Scheme/Roster Fits. I talked about it a lot with the defensive picks, but every single one is a "Wink Martindale" guy. What does Wink want for his system? This can be a little dangerous considering Wink was in the running for a HC gig last year, and another strong year might finally get him the HC job he has been looking for. If he leaves and the scheme changes, these players need to be able to match the new scheme too. But it's clear that the FO values the input of the coaching staff and there's really clear communication there. This also applies to the offensive side of the ball, where it's super clear that the team wanted more speed on offense, which pointed to Hyatt a little bit.
3. Youth. This one is a little less applicable this year as they did draft a few older players, like JMS and Riley, even Eric Gray who turns 24 in November or Tre Hawkins who turns 23 over the summer. But Banks just turned 22, Jalin Hyatt will turn 22 in late September. It feels like maybe they felt more attached to the age stuff when they thought this was a full on rebuild, but now that they're hoping to be a playoff team again, they need some more instant contributors.
4. Aggressiveness/willingness to trade. This is a newer one, as last year the Giants only traded back. But this year the Giants traded up twice, giving up 3 day 3 picks in the process. Schoen is not afraid to make trades in either direction. Up to secure guys he really wants (Banks/Hyatt), or down if there's nothing there. Schoen talked about having trades lined up in both directions with the first round pick, he had a trade down ready if there was no one he wanted left.

The Giants went into the 2022 draft clearly rebuilding, 5 picks in the top 81 and making 11 selections. This year, the team came into the draft with 10 picks and came out with just 7. Clearly the team thinks the depth is improving and wants to focus on building the championship contender they are looking to be.

Dan O'Donoghue: https://twitter.com/MrDanDonoghue/status/1667094115924824068?t=FvlA8nFSsIG88Qgfx7XVyg&s=19
Liz Hull: https://twitter.com/lizhull/status/1667101045418328068?s=19
Sky News: https://news.sky.com/story/lucy-letby-trial-latest-nurse-baby-murders-prosecution-sky-news-blog-12868375
Chester Standard: https://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/23577991.live-lucy-letby-trial-june-9---cross-examination-continues/

Nicholas Johnson KC, for the prosecution, is continuing to cross-examine Lucy Letby.
Before that begins, Benjamin Myers KC, for Letby's defence, rises to make a statement.
He says Letby was cross-examined on a telephone call it was alleged she had made to Child N's father. Letby had disputed what the court said was agreed evidence. Mr Myers says the disupute was raised by Letby in advance with them, and it was the defence team's mistake to agree that evidence in advance

​

Removal from the ward

Mr Johnson says Letby said, in evidence, she found she was not going back to the neonatal unit the day before she went back to work on June 27, 2016. Letby agrees.
Letby says at the end of June 2016, she "liked all the doctors" she worked with.
Letby says she did not know what the issue was, she had not been informed what was happening.
She says she was worried she had "made a mistake" and "was in trouble for something".
Asked about the timing of the call, she said she was worried about receiving the call "so late in the day" [after 5pm] in advance of working a night shift.
She agrees she was worried it was something serious.
Letby agrees this was in the aftermath of Child Q's collapse and Dr John Gibbs making enquiries.
She said she was "upset and worried".
LL: "I was upset and I was concerned something was wrong."

​

Letby says she was worried about the next day, but not concerned it had gone 'right to the top'.
NJ: "You knew they were on to you, didn't you?"
LL: "No."
Letby had messaged a doctor about it: "I can't talk about this now."
She writes, 12 minutes later: "Sorry, that was rude. Felt completely overwhelmed & panicked for a minute.
"We all worked tirelessly & did everything possible, i don't see how anyone can question that.
"Im having a meltdown++ but think that's what I need to do"
Letby says she was having a 'dramatic' meltdown.
LL: "It was all happening very last minute and in the evening - it was not normal."
She says this is different from work pressures as "this was personal". She denies that people were 'sussing' her.
A message on Letby's phone at 11.29pm included: >"Death datix x 2 Datix - no bicarb, delay in io access Sign out ffp on meditech & pink chart [Child O] charts obs Fluids in sluice Sign drugs Sign curosurf out Traffic light drug compatibility - inotropes, and no >policy for panc Delay in people doing drugs"
Letby said this was documents she had not yet completed for babies she had cared for.

​

A message sent by Letby's nursing colleague to Letby: "[doctor] came in chatting to me at the start of last nights shift n I said [baby] needs L.L soon as uvc been in nearly 2wks n he said something about [child O]s already being changed n I said it hadn't n he told me about the open port!"
Letby's responded: "I told her about it that night.
"Yes because Thought it's a massive infection risk and risk of air embolism, don't know how long it had been like that."
A Datix form for the clinical incident is shown to the court - June 30, 2016, 3pm, with the port on one of the lumens noted to not have a bung on the end and was therefore 'open'. Registrar informed. Letby is the reporter of the incident.
Mr Johnson says this was a potential case of accidental air embolus which Letby had reported.
NJ: "You had your thinking cap on, didn't you?"
LL: "No."
Letby said this was something which needed to be reported.
NJ: "You removed the port and covered it as a cinical incident, didn't you?"
LL: "No."
NJ: "This is an insurance policy - so you could show the hospital was so lax..."
LL: "No."
NJ: "It was to cover for accidental air embolus."
LL: "No."

​

Letby is asked about the investigation and Letby being seconded to an office-based role.
Letby messaged: "Hoping to get as much info together as possible -if they have nothing or minimal on me they'll look silly, not Me"
"Did you think attack was the best form of defence?"
"This was me responding what was happening to me."

​

Letby's message on August 8: "Tony phoned. He's going to speak to Karen and insist on the review being no later than 1st week of Sept but said he definitely wouldn't advise pushing to get back to unit until it's taken place. Asked about social things and he said it's up to me but would advise not speaking with anyone in case any of them are involved with the review process. Thinks I should keep head down.and ride it out and can take further once over.
Feel a bit like Im being shoved in a corner and.forgotten about by.the trust. It's my life and career."
Letby said she was feeling isolated and not able to speak to anybody on the unit.
Mr Johnson asks if that was really the case.
Letby said she spoke to some friends who she was allowed to speak to about the details of the investigation. They were two nursing colleagues and a doctor.
Letby's message: "It's making me feel like I should hide away by saying not speak to anyone and going on for months etc - I haven't done anything wrong."
NJ: "You knew at this stage you were being blamed for the collapses and deaths of these children?"
LL: "No."

​

Addressing Letby's claims of staffing issues, and the Gang of Four

Mr Johnson asks about the 'gang of four' consultants who were 'out to get' Letby.
Letby had previously said the four were Dr Ravi Jayaram, Dr John Gibbs, Dr Stephen Brearey and one other doctor, who had apportioned blame to her 'to cover failings at the hospital'.
Mr Johnson says he will go through the cases.
He says for Child A, staffing levels were a shortcoming in administering a long line.
For Child B, nothing,
For Child C, nothing.
For Child D, the antibiotics being delayed 'may have had an impact on her'.
For Child E, the delay in giving him a blood transfusion.
For Child F, nothing.
For Child G, possibly the colleague had overfed the baby, but that was later retracted.
For Child H, the location of the chest drains may have had an influence.
For Child I, that Ashleigh Hudson should have put her on a monitor, and that 'potentially' Dr Chang being called away.
For Child J, nothing.
For Child K, nothing, other than the ET Tube may not have been secured.
For Child L, nothing.
For Child M, nothing.
For Child N, nothing other than it was busy.
For Child O, concerns raised by Sophie Ellis were dealt with on the charts.
For Child P, an issue with a chest drain.
For Child Q, nothing.
Letby says she did not know what babies the four consultants were discussing about.
"How do the shortcomings count for their conspiracy?"
Letby says a lot of the babies were not cared for properly on the unit.
Mr Johnson says is it Letby's view that the overall care was not good enough, they pinned the blame on her.
Letby agrees.

​

Mr Johnson says Letby has failed to identify, specifically, an issue with staffing levels for each of these cases.
Letby says it was raised at times on the unit, in relation to the overall care for babies.
Mr Johnson says the point of this case is to determine sabotage for the babies or naturally occurring deficiencies. He says Letby cannot give specifics.
Letby: "No."
Mr Johnson refers to 'sub-optimal care for the babies', from Letby's defence statement.
NJ: "You are raising the point, aren't you?"
LL: "Yes."
NJ: "And you have been given an opportunity to speak about it."

​

Facebook Searches

Mr Johnson turns to the Facebook searches Letby made for parents of children in the indictment. Three searches are made for parents in quick succession. Mr Johnson asks what the link is.
Letby: "They are babies that have died and been seriously unwell."
Letby is asked about another series of searches for three parents' names.
LL: "They are babies that had something significant to them and they were on my mind."
Letby is asked why she didn't give that answer to the police.
LL: "Because I couldn't recall why I had looked at some of them."
NJ: "Is that a true answer?"
LL: "Yes."
NJ: "You were checking up on your victims."
LL: "No - I look at a variety of [parents]."
NJ: "You were a killer who was looking at your victims, weren't you?"
LL: "No."
Mr Johnson asks about a series of other searches, and says one of the parents' names has an 'unusual spelling'. Letby is asked to spell that name out in court. She does it incorrectly.
NJ: "You read it [the name of the parent] off a handover sheet, didn't you?"
LL: "No."

​

Letby is asked about another series of searches.
Letby: "They were on my mind at the time."
One search was made on Christmas Day, for the mother of Child E and Child F.
NJ: "She was the person who caught you in the act?"
LL: "No, [mother of Child E and Child F] and I had a good relationship at the time."

​ Sky News (details of the same evidence:

Nick Johnson, the prosecution barrister, then goes back through some of Letby's Facebook searches.
Letby has previously been accused of looking up her alleged victims' families online, and a series of searches are being read to the court.
25 June 2015
At 21:50 Letby searched for the parents of Children A and B.
At 21:51 Letby searched for the parents of Child D - Letby previously said she "didn't remember" this baby.
"What was the connection in your mind between those three people," Mr Johnson asks.
"They are babies who have died from being seriously unwell," Letby says.
5 October 2015
At 01:16 Letby searched for mother of Child I.
At 01:17 Letby searched for father of Children E and F.
"What did they have in common?" Mr Johnson asks.
"Again they are babies that had something significant happen to them and they were on my mind," Letby says.
"You were checking up on your victims, weren't you?"
"No."
He later says: "You were a killer who was looking at your victims."
"No," she replies.
Several other examples are read out to the court.
5 November 2015
At 23:40 Letby searched for the mother of Children E and F.
At 23:40 Letby searched for the mother of Child G.
At 23:44 Letby searched for mother of Child I.
Letby denies these families were grouped together for any reason.
25 December 2015
Letby searched for the mother of Children E and F.
"I often thought of [her]," she tells the court.
"She was the person who caught you in the act," Mr Johnson says, adding that this would have been reason enough to remember her.
"No, [we] had a good relationship."

​

Letby's Social Life During Investigation

Chester Standard:

Mr Johnson says Letby had given evidence surrounding her suspension from the unit in her first day of giving evidence to the defence.
She had said she felt very isolated from my friends and family on the unit, and her mental health had deteriorated.
LL: "We were a very supportive unit - regardless of whether we were personal friends, we were a supportive unit.
LL: "At the time the hospital advised me not to contact anyone on the unit...there were two or three friends I could contact, but [not to contact anyone on the unit]."
Letby is asked if that was true. "Yes." And if she abided by that. "Yes."
Letby adds that did change as time went on.
Letby has a document which she received from the prosecution this morning on her social life.

​ Sky News:

The prosecution says Letby was "given a document this morning".
"What's in the document?" Mr Johnson says.
After a pause, she replies: "My social life."
The prosecution says this "disproves" what Letby has previously said about her contact with the unit.
"I disagree," she says.
Letby is asked if she was "looking for sympathy" when she told the jury she had been cut off and isolated from her friends.
"Yes, it was a very difficult time," she says.
"You thought you'd get sympathy by telling a lie," says Mr Johnson.
"No."
"Was it just a mistake?"
"Yes."

​ Chester Standard:

Mr Johnson says it "disproves everything" that Letby had said. Letby disagrees.
"You were telling the jury a sob story, that you had been cut off from your family as you called them, on the unit?" Letby disagrees.
NJ: "Were you looking for sympathy?
LL: "Yes, it was a very difficult time."
NJ: "Was it just a mistake?"
LL: "Yes."
The document includes photos of Letby's nights out and days out with colleagues, Mr Johnson says. They include a trip to London with a doctor colleague. Letby says that happened once.

​:

A 'social timeline' is shown to the court, detailing meetings with the doctor in Harford, Cheshire Oaks (twice) and London between May-June 2017.
LL: I'm near the park next to where you are, let me know where you are finishing up and I'll see you outside
Doctor: Ok will do See you soon ❤️
LL: 🙂 ❤️
Letby denies the doctor was her boyfriend.
Letby agrees she had a "very very active social life".
Letby says a future date on the Facebook diary, for September 2017, was listed as a trip to London, but they had to cancel as the doctor had a medical appointment.
She denies again he was her boyfriend.

​ Sky News:

In one message, the male colleague she denied was her boyfriend exchanged a series of heart emojis via WhatsApp and travelled together to London at least once.
Letby says they had to cancel the second trip.
"[Colleague] was a married man, it's not a relationship at all it's a friendship," she says.

​ Chester Standard:

NJ: "You have deliberately misled the jury about this background."
LL: "No."

​

Letby's Arrest

NJ: "You have also deliberately misled them about the circumstances of your arrest, haven't you?"
LL: "No."
Letby says the police knocked on her door at 6am when they arrested her. She says she thought she had a nightie and a tracksuit and trainers.
Mr Johnson says Letby was taken away in a blue Lee Cooper leisure suit. Letby says she is not sure. Mr Johnson says video footage can be played of her arrest. Letby agrees she was taken away in that leisure suit.
For the 2019 arrest, Letby agrees she was not taken away in her pyjamas.
NJ: "Why did you lie to the jury about this?"
LL: "I don't know."
Letby says it was the first arrest when she was taken in her pyjamas.
NJ: "Do you want to watch the video?" Letby does not respond.
NJ: "You are a very calculating woman, aren't you"
LL: "No."
NJ: "You tell lies deliberately."
NJ: "And the reason you tell lies is to get sympathy and attention from people."
Mr Johnson says Letby was killing children to get attention.
LL: "I didn't kill the children."
NJ: "You're getting quite a lot of attention now, aren't you?"

​

Handwritten Notes

One of Letby's handwritten notes is shown to the court. It is the one which includes a draft sympathy message for Child O, Child P and another triplet.
Mr Johnson asks why a sympthy message has included the name of the surviving triplet as well as the names of Child O and Child P.
NJ: "Was that your objective, to kill all three?
LL: "No."
NJ: "Did that excite you?"
LL: "Absolutely not."

​ Sky News:

"I am writing how I was feeling at that time, and it was their birthday and I mentioned all three of them," Letby says.
The note reads: 'Today is your birthday and you aren't here. And I am so sorry for that.'
"Why were you including [the other triplet]?" Mr Johnson asks.
"I've written three names, I also wrote [colleague]."
The prosecution asks the question again.
"I can't answer that," Letby says.
"Is that because in your mind there was a terminal end in store for [other triplet] if he stayed with you?"
"No," she replies.
"Was that your objective to kill all three?" Mr Johnson asks.
"No."

​ Chester Standard:

The 'I AM EVIL I DID THIS' handwritten note by Letby is shown to the court.
Letby is asked about the notes.
NJ: "You had done nothing wrong?"
LL: "No."
NJ: "Why did you think you would not marry and have a family?"
LL: "Because I was in the position that I was in and didn't think it would end."
NJ: "You had a good job working in the patient safety department at the Countess of Chester."
LL: "It wasn't a choice for me."
NJ: "It was still a good job."
LL: "Good as enjoyable?"
NJ: "It was secure, with a secure employer."
LL: "Yes."
NJ: "Pays well?"
LL: "Not as much as nursing."
Letby said there were times when she had good times during the time she was under investigation. Mr Johnson says this includes drinking fizz and days at the races.
Mr Johnson concludes: "You are a murderer."
Letby: "I have not murdered or harmed any child."

End of cross examination

​

Myers Rises for questions

Benjamin Myers KC rises to ask further questions of Letby.
He says Letby has given evidence for 14 court days over the past few weeks.
Mr Myers asks Letby about the increase in documents since giving her defence statement.
Letby agrees it was an increase in "thousands of pages" since then, and the increase has continued throughout the trial.
Letby agrees the increase in evidence served has come when she and the defence team have been in different parts of the country, with her being in custody.

​

Mr Myers asks questions in the case of Child E, in relation to Letby's defence statement.
In cross-examination, Letby was said not to have made a mention of Child E vomiting in her defence statement, but said it in evidence. Letby tells the court now Child E had vomited.
Mr Myers says Letby's nursing note from August 4, 2015, showed Letby recorded a 'large vomit'.
Letby says that was not included in the defence statement as she had not included every single detail from all the cases in that statement.
The nursing note also incudes a 'mucky' slightly bile-stained aspirate was recorded.

​

In Letby's defence statement, she said she had wanted to work in nursing since being a teenager.
Letby is asked about her motive in working at the Countess of Chester Hospital neonatal unit: "To provide the best care possible for them and their families."
Letby said she would have looked after "hundreds" of babies during her time at the Countess of Chester Hospital.
BM: "Were you trying to 'get attention' [by attacking babies] in the way it has been put?"
LL: "No."
Letby says the Facebook searches were for parents who were on her mind at the time.

​

BM: "Can you recall every baby you cared for?"
LL: "No."
BM: "Is there a reason some babies stand out more?"
Letby says there might have been something about some babies that would stand out in her mind, and some babies would be on the unit longer, and she would have got to know some families more than others.
Letby is asked about staffing levels at the unit.
Mr Myers: "Do you know, actually, how every member of staff was affected by staffing pressures?"
LL: "No I don't."
Letby adds she does not know if every member of staff was performing their tasks to the level required throughout.
BM: "Can you say at any given point, what the issue of staffing levels were?"
LL: "No."

​

Letby adds from a nursing perspective she can comment on that care, but medical care [from a doctor] is a "different realm".
Letby says she can only put a nursing perspective on the issues.
Mr Myers asks about Child F and Child L.
Letby had said, in evidence, insulin was given to Child F unlawfully, but it was not targeted. She said, from the blood results, Child L was poisoned with insulin, but was not targeted.
Letby says for Child L, she accepted the blood results which showed the insulin had come exogenously.
Letby says she does not know how the insulin levels of a blood sample are tested. She says she has never worked in a lab for the purposes of such testing.
Letby says she accepted the results on the basis of the evidence that is presented in the trial.

​

Letby, in her defence statement, said she was concerned she was blamed for things she was not responsible for, and was unable to explain how some of the babies had collapsed.
The statement added the higher mortality rate had come from the unit taking on more poorly babies.
For Child Q, Letby says Dr John Gibbs was asking who was on duty at that time and who the designated nurse was.
Letby says, in her statement, Dr Jayaram and Dr Brearey had been "set against her for some time" and did not accept "in good faith" their evidence.
Mr Myers asks if Letby had ever accepted the accuracy or honesty Dr Jayaram's recollection of the incident in relation to Child K.
Letby: "No."
Letby adds she did not recall clearly what happened at that event. She denied interfering or harming Child K at that time.

​

Mr Myers continues to ask Lucy Letby questions.
He says there is "not a lot further" to go through.
He says there were "many times" when the prosecution gave evidence, or parts of evidence, to Letby and the jury.
In the case of Child P, he says Child P was the 'worse for wear', and the prosecution said this was similar to the previous night with Child O, which he says was inaccurate.
Letby is asked why she agreed with an inaccurate summary of evidence by the proseuction.
LL: "I can't answer that, I don't know."
Mr Myers says the prosecution had asserted Lucy Letby had 'fallen out' with Melanie Taylor. Letby denies this was the case at any point.
Text messages are shown between Melanie Taylor and Lucy Letby. The exchange is on June 9, 2015, following the death of Child A, and how hard it was going in to back into the unit following such an event.
Letby messaged: "I hope you are ok, you were brilliant" and signs off the conversation "Great see you then xx" to which Melanie Taylor replied "Xx". Letby denies she fell out with Melanie Taylor.

​

Letby is asked about the prosecution saying she 'fell over herself' to message Sophie Ellis following the death of Child P. Sophie Ellis had been at the races that day on June 24, 2016.
Sophie Ellis messaged Letby first: "Hey Luce, hope your ok? I heard poor little [Child P] has been sent to Liverpool..."
Letby replied the information was 'too much for a text'.
She added: "Actually you are at the races, sorry I forgot. Don't worry about ringing will txt you tomorrow. X"
Letby tells the court she wanted to leave Sophie Ellis alone as she was at the races.

​

Letby is asked about the 'social folder' she was handed by the prosecution this morning.
Mr Myers said the photos showed her 'out on the razz with friends'.
Letby had said there were times she enjoyed herself.
Mr Johnson had said: "Yes, you felt like this, because you know you killed and grievously injured these children?"
Letby: "No."
Mr Myers says there was nothing to these events other than going for drinks with friends. Letby agrees.

​

An example is shown of Letby on holiday in Torquay with her dad in July 2016.
Another example is of Letby having drinks with university friends in July 14, 2016. Letby says they were the girls she had been with when she was studying nursing.
Another example is of a picture of a couple of bottles of Prosecco on July 22, 2016. Letby is asked if she was allowed to drink Prosecco at this time. Letby agrees.
Another photo is on August 16, 2016, on a day out in Port Sunlight with her parents who had come to Chester. Letby messaged one of her nursing colleagues - her "best friend", and one she said she was allowed to speak to, about Port Sunlight being 'perfect for a picnic and a stroll'.
A photo is taken of Letby at her back garden to her Chester home in August 2016.
A Whatsapp message Letby sent in a group of nursing colleagues was: "It's too sad" in reference to Jennifer Jones-Key leaving the unit.
Letby says 'around September time' the instructions for Letby not to contact anyone on the nursing unit other than three colleagues had 'changed'.
A message on September 22, 2016 to one of the three colleagues - 'All ok with E [Eirian]. Feel bit more positive knowing she's definitely behind me...'

​

Letby is seen smiling in a number of photos.
Mr Myers asks why Letby is smiling in the photos when it was around the time she handwrote notes documenting her problems.
LL: "Because despite what is going on, you have to find some kind of quality of life."
December 31, 2016, Letby writes on Facebook: "❤️ I'm not the same person I was when 2016 began; but I am fortunate to have my own home. I've met some incredible people and I have family and friends who have stood by me regardless - Thank you to those who have kept me smiling. Wishing Every Happiness for us all in 2017"
Letby says she had changed as a person and had 'lost confidence'

​

BM: "As far as you understood, were you at least allowed a social life?"
LL: "Yes."
Another photo is of Letby at the Kuckoo bar in Chester.
A holiday photo is shown of Letby with her father in June 29, 2018 in Torquay.
Letby denies killing or harming babies for any reason the prosecution had suggested.
BM: "How content were you before, in life?"
LL: "I had a very happy life."

That now completes Lucy Letby's evidence.

The judge tells the jury of the next steps in the trial, which may have further evidence for the defence case. The next listed day for the jury will be next Wednesday (June 14).

The U.S. home fitness equipment market size was valued at USD 4.43 billion in 2021. The market is projected to grow from USD 4.81 billion in 2022 to USD 7.80 billion by 2029, exhibiting a CAGR of 7.2% during the forecast period.
This information is published by Fortune Business Insights, in its report, titled, “U.S. Home Fitness Equipment Market, 2022-2029.”
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Segmentation:
Cardio Benefits Make Cardiovascular Training Equipment Segment to Hold Major Market Share
Based on equipment type, the market is segregated into cardiovascular training equipment, strength training equipment, and others. Cardiovascular training equipment is highly beneficial in regulating blood pressure and heart rate levels. The cardiovascular training equipment segment holds a major U.S. home fitness equipment market share.
The sales channel is segregated into online and offline.
Competitive Landscape:
Pioneering Product Unveilings by Pivotal Players to Spur Market Growth
The chief players functioning in the market are often observed applying numerous tactics to boost their position in the market as dominating corporations. One such prime tactic is procuring firms to uplift brand recognition among users. An additional vital notion is intermittently introducing groundbreaking products with a thorough review of the market and its target audience.
Industry Developments:
July 2021: FITBENCH, which is a maker of exercising bench products, presented 'FITBENCH FREE'a multi-purpose exercising bench in Wisconsin, U.S. This fitness bench is light in weight and saves up space, with two wheels for moving around and is a perfect product for gym workouts at one’s residence.
Browse Detailed Summary of Research Report:
https://www.fortunebusinessinsights.com/u-s-home-fitness-equipment-market-106595
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Fortune Business Insights™ delivers accurate data and innovative corporate analysis, helping organizations of all sizes make appropriate decisions. We tailor novel solutions for our clients, assisting them to address various challenges distinct to their businesses. Our aim is to empower them with holistic market intelligence, providing a granular overview of the market they are operating in.
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Last week, u/ExistentialPuggle posted an amazing list of things to do in Baton Rouge that weekend and a lot of people got excited about all the fun things going on, while others shared adfitional events happening around the city. One Redditor commented that they didn’t realize how many great things Baton Rouge has going on and this is something I’ve noticed happening a lot, so my goal is to let people know all the great things Baton Rouge has to offer and hope they share it with others.
Adam Knapp, BRAC’s new president, said his biggest concern is that compared to other cities like Lafayette and New Orleans, Baton Rouge does not have “insane community pride” and looking at this subreddit proves he’s right. I know its hard to be proud of this city. I know we’ll never be #1 on any positive list and am use to scrolling down to the bottom lists to find us but I’m a Baton Rougian for life and try to find as much pride to have in gvis city as possible.
I’m usually a lurker and not much if a poster, so it might take me a few tries to get the format right. Also, with Reddit deciding to compleywly fuck over 3rd party apps, I’m not aure how easy posting will be once Apollo no longer exists.
The places I’m currently looking for events are news sources, local magzines, the library and local wbesite. If you have any other recommendations on where to look, please share.
Please share any other events I might have missed!
(Due to this being a late night Thursday adventure, I’m probabaly only going to be able to posts this weekend’s events, but my goal is to add on events that are ongoing in the area)
Local Live Music: Red Stick Music does an amazing job of listing all known live music shows
FRIDAY - June 9th
Coppélia Ballet: Baton Rouge Ballet Theatre’s Youth Ballet summer touring show - Carver Library - 9:30am - Free
LSU MOA’s Neighborhood Art Pop-Up: LSU Museum if Art brings artists, art supplies and creative projects offering kids a fun opportunity to create artwork while learning - Shiloh Baptist Church - 10am-12pm
Mary Poppins Jr.: Central Community Theatre puts on musical based on the popular Disney movie - Manship Theatre (not sure how this will work with Summer of Swing) - 6:30pm - $29
Rhinos of the World: Learn all about rhinos from how they communicate to where they live - Baton Rouge Zoo - 6:30pm-7:30pm - Free but pre-registration is required
Movies in the Plaza: Movie: Turning Red (bring lawn chairs or blankets) - The Main Library at Goodwood - 7pm - Free
Summer Swing with Ashley Orlando - The Great American Songbook & Beyond: A voyage through jazz and swing from the early 20th century through the 1960s - Manship Theatre (not sure how this will work with Mary Poppins Jr. - $25
Highland Road Park Observatory: Display Premiere: The Histories and Mysteries of Glass - 5:30pm-8:30pm - Free
Phil Brady’s Bar: Live music from Mid-City Prowlers, Low Water Bridge & The Squanders - Come see u/Bassman-BEADG play in all 3 bands! - 8:30pm - Not sure of cover charge
SATURDAY - June 10th
Red Stick Farmers Market: Farm fresh produce, goods, cooking demonstrations and more - Fifth and Main Street downtown - 8am-12pm
Market at the Oasis: Vendors selling farm grown produce, handmade items, baked goods and more - 13827 Coursey Blvd - 9am-1pm
Kids Fest: Live entertainment, speakers, health screenings and outdoor play - Scotlandville Parkway - 9am-1pm
Highland Road Park Observatory - Science Academy: Exploring Weather II - Cadets will investigate: frost, mist, fog, clouds, rain and snow - Ages 8-12 - 10am-12pm - $5 for EBR Parish Cadet; $6 for other-Parish Cadet
Irene W. Pennington Planetarium - Stargazing: Learn about stars and constellations and an all-ages show - Louisiana Arts & Science Museum - 10am - Ticket included in regular admission
Baddies Who Brunch: High energy drag performance with bottomless mimosas and table seating brunch - Independence Park Theatre - Doors open at 10am; Show starts at 11am - $35 Don’t forget to bring singles to tip the fabulous queens!
Greater Baton Rouge Model Railroaders: Miniature train models and running models of trains - 3406 College Street Jackson, Louisiana - 10am-2pm - Free
BASF’s Kid’s Lab: Float or Sink: Explore the science of chemistry during a 45-minute hands-on workshop - Ages 6-12 - Louisiana Arts & Science Museum - 11am; 1pm & 3pm - Tickets included with regular admission
Radio Bar - Art Market: Local artists and creators - Radio Bar - 2pm-6pm
Mary Poppins Jr.: Central Community Theatre puts on musical based on the popular Disney movie - Manship Theatre - 2pm & 6:30pm - $29
Baton Rouge Super Regional - LSU Baseball: LSU vs UK - Alex Box Stadium - 2pm - Tickets required
Red Stick C.A.R.E.S - Under the Lights: Night Red Stick Market with live music and lots of local artists and vendors - 5475 Essen Lane - 6pm-9pm
Boomerang Comedy Theatre: Improve Student Showcase - Feel free to bring BYOB - Boomerang Comedy Theatre - 7pm; 8pm & 9pm - Free but tickets required
Highland Road Park Observatory - Evening Sky Viewing: Weather permitting, view the night sky through telescopes - 7:30pm-10pm - Free -Turn off headlights when driving in
SUNDAY - June 11th
Baddies Who Brunch: High energy drag performance with bottomless mimosas and table seating brunch - Independence Park Theatre - Doors open at 10am; Show starts at 11am - $35 Don’t forget to bring singles to tip the fabulous queens!
Hilton Drag Brunch: High energy drag performances, brunch menu and bottomless mimosas - Must be 21 or older - Hilton Baton Rouge Capitol Center - 10am-2pm - $60 Don’t forget to bring singles to tip the fabulous queens!
BASF’s Kid’s Lab: Float or Sink: Explore the science of chemistry during a 45-minute hands-on workshop - Ages 6-12 - Louisiana Arts & Science Museum - 1:30pm & 3pm - Tickets included with regular admission
Mary Poppins Jr.: Central Community Theatre puts on musical based on the popular Disney movie - Manship Theatre - 2pm & 6:30pm - $29
Baton Rouge Super Regional - LSU Baseball: LSU vs UK - Alex Box Stadium - Time to be announced - Tickets required
MONDAY - June 12th
Baton Rouge Super Regional - LSU Baseball: (Only if needed) LSU vs UK - Alex Box Stadium - Time to be announced - Tickets required
TUESDAY - June 13th
Red Stick Farmers Market: Local fruits and vegetables, fresh breads, garden plants, prepared foods, jams, jellies and more - Main Library at Goodwood - 3pm-6pm
WEDNESDAY - June 14th
Red Stick Farmers Market: Local fruits and vegetables, fresh breads, garden plants, prepared foods, jams, jellies and more - ExxonMobil YMCA - 9am-12pm
Sunset Paddle: Youth age 12+ and adults - Milford Wampold Memorial Park - 7pm-8:30pm - Rentals: single kayak-$10; tandem kayak-$20; canoe-$25 - Registration required at brec.org
THURSDAY - June 15th
Red Stick Farmers Market: Local fruits and vegetables, fresh breads, garden plants, prepared foods, jams, jellies and more - Pennington Biomedical Research Center - 8am-12pm
Juneteenth Panel Discussions: Talk will unpack the post-emancipation triumphs of Black Americans - Shaw Center for the Arts - 5pm-7pm
ONGOING TEMPORARY EXHIBITS
Baton Rouge Gallery Center for Contemporary Art: Exhibits by Mary Ann Caffery, Margaret Humphris, Phyllis Lear and David Scott (until June 19) - Free
Capitol Park Museum: Carnival in the Nation’s Capital: The Washington Mardi Gras Ball (until Sept 16) - Creole New Orleans, Honey! The Art of Andrew LaMar Hopkins (until Sept 16) - Back Roads to Back Yards: The Flora and Fauna of South Louisiana (until Oct 28) - The History of Louisiana’s Historically Black Colleges and Universities - Free
Cary Saurage Community Arts Center: Why Pride: A Collaboration with the Trevor Project (until now July 2) - Free
Louisiana Art & Science Museum: Diamonds of History: Mighty Women by Ashley Longshire (until July 2) - Pinpointing the Stars (until Aug 1) - Illustrating Health (until Aug 6) - Our Louisiana (until Jan 14) - Artistry and Accuracy l: Botanical Illustrations by Margaret Stone (until March 3) - Children & Seniors-$10; Adults-$12
Louisiana State Archives: 70th Jubilee Invitational Exhibit (until June 29)
LSU Museum of Art: I, Too, am Thornton Dial (until July 2) - Hank Willis Thomas/Unbranded: Reflections in Black by Corporate America (until July 30) - Children (under 12)-Free; 13 and older-$5
LSU Textile & Costume Museum: Til Trends Do Us Part: A Retrospect in Changing Fashion in Bridal Wear (until Aug 31) - Free
Main Library at Goodwood: Fiber Artists of Louisiana - Guardians, Harbingers and Sentinels (until June 30) - Free
Old State Capitol: Jazz Age Juxtaposition: The Prohibition Era of Louisiana (until Aug 19)- Political Parties and the Culture of Conventions (until Dec 15) - Free
West Baton Rouge Museum: Angela Gregory: Doyenne of Louisiana Sculpture (until Aug 7) - WBRP Resident-Free; Other Adults-$4; Seniors, Military, Students-$2

If you missed the messages that dropped today, there were significant updates to the Direct Commission Programs ahead of the Fall Board. The Coast Guard Officers Commissioning Programs Facebook group is running strong with over 600 members at this point, we have opened up to include OCS applicants. If you or someone you know is considering submitting a package to commission, feel free to join, we have a ton of people and prior service folks representing all branches who are happy to help. If you are already an Officer, we would be happy to have you as we get better together.
ALCGRECRUITING 011/23.
This is the first example of O-5 being offered for Critical Officer hires. If you know a Registered Nurse or Nurse Practitioner, Clinical Social Worker, or Clinical Psychologist interested in joining the Coast Guard start sharing this program. I have pasted the criteria for the appointment grades below.
ALCGRECRUITING 10-23
The Direct Commission Environmental Manager program is coming back. The Coast Guard's Operations Ashore field is dedicated to the safety of shipping and the protection of life, property, and the marine environment. Prevention and Response encompasses the full spectrum of responsibilities related to ship safety and environmental protection, including the administration of national and international laws designed to control pollution. DCEM officers will work with prevention and response policies and procedures at the Headquarters level as well as employ their experience and knowledge while serving at Coast Guard Sectors and other field offices.
EDUCATION. Baccalaureate or higher degree (associate or higher degree for applicants eligible for a Temporary Regular commission) from an accredited college or university in Environmental Management, Environmental Economics, Environmental Biology, Environmental Sciences, Environmental Health & Safety, Environmental Policy, Environmental Planning, Environmental Engineering, Fisheries Management & Conservation, or Natural Resources Management & Conservation. Other related environmental degrees with similar educational focus may be considered on a case-by-case basis.
f. APPOINTMENT GRADE. Temporary Regular or Reserve Commission:
(1) Ensign (O-1) - Associate or Baccalaureate degree.
(2) Lieutenant Junior Grade (O-2) - Master's degree, or baccalaureate degree with four years of relevant work experience.
(3) Lieutenant (O-3) - Doctorate with one year of relevant work experience, or master's degree with four years of relevant work experience
ALCGRECRUITING 011/23 Appointment Grades
APPOINTMENT GRADE. Reserve Commission.
(A) Lieutenant Junior Grade (O-2) - Master's Level Clinical Social Workers who have been independently licensed for less than 2.5 years.
(B) Lieutenant (O-3) - Master's Level Clinical Social Workers with at least 2.5 years, but less than 8.5 years of professional experience at the independent level. Doctorate level. Clinical Social Workers/Clinical Psychologists with less than 6 years of professional experience at the independent level.
(C) Lieutenant Commander (O-4) - Master's Level Clinical Social Workers with at least 8.5 years, but less than 13.5 years of professional experience at the independent level. Doctorate level Clinical Social Workers/Clinical Psychologists with at At least 6 but less than 11 years of professional experience at the independent level.
(D) Commander (O-5) - Master's Level Clinical Social Workers with at least 13.5 years of professional experience at the independent level. Doctorate-level Clinical Social Workers/Clinical Psychologists with at least 11 years of professional experience at the independent level.
APPOINTMENT GRADE. Reserve commission.
(A) Ensign (O-1) - Bachelor's level Nurses who have been licensed as a registered nurse for less than 1.5 years.
(B) Lieutenant Junior Grade (O-2) - Bachelor's level Nurses who have been licensed as a registered nurse for at least 1.5 years but less than four years. Master's level Nurses who have been licensed minimally as a Bachelor's level nurse for less than 2.5 years.
(C) Lieutenant (O-3) - Bachelor's level Nurses who have been licensed as a registered nurse for at least 4 years but less than 10 years. Master's level Nurses who have been licensed minimally as a Bachelor's level nurse for at least 2.5 years but less than 8.5 years. Doctorate level Nurses who have been licensed minimally as a Bachelor's level nurse for less than 6 years.
(D) Lieutenant Commander (O-4) - Bachelor's level Nurses who have been licensed as a registered nurse for at least 10 years but less than 15 years. Master's level Nurses who have been licensed minimally as a Bachelor's level nurse for at least 8.5 years but less than 13.5 years. Doctorate level Nurses who have been licensed minimally as a Bachelor's level for more than 6 years but less than 11 years.
(E) Commander (O-5) - Bachelor's level Nurses who have been licensed as a registered nurse for at least 15 years. Master's level Nurses who have been licensed minimally as a Bachelor's level nurse for at least 13.5 years. Doctorate level Nurses who have been licensed minimally as a Bachelor's level nurse for at least 11 years.

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It's been an amazing run thanks to all of you.
Eight years ago, I posted in the Apple subreddit about a Reddit app I was looking for beta testers for, and my life completely changed that day. I just finished university and an internship at Apple, and wanted to build a Reddit client of my own: a premier, customizable, well-designed Reddit app for iPhone. This fortunately resonated with people immediately, and it's been my full time job ever since.
Today's a much sadder post than that initial one eight years ago. June 30th will be Apollo's last day.
I've talked to a lot of people, and come to terms with this over the last weeks as talks with Reddit have deteriorated to an ugly point, and in the interest of transparency with the community, I wanted to talk about how I arrived at this decision, and if you have any questions at the end, I'm more than happy to answer. This post will be long as I have a lot of topics to cover.
Please note that I recorded all my calls with Reddit, so my statements are not based on memory, but the recorded statements by Reddit over the course of the year. One-party consent recording is legal in my country of Canada. Also I won't be naming names, that's not important and I don't want to doxx people.

What happened initially?

On April 18th, Reddit announced changes that would be coming to the API, namely that the API is moving to a paid model for third-party apps. Shortly thereafter we received phone calls, however the price (the key element in an announcement to move to a paid API) was notably missing, with the intent to follow up with it in 2-4 weeks.
The information they did provide however was: we will be moving to a paid API as it's not tenable for Reddit to pay for third-party apps indefinitely (understandable, agreed), so they're looking to do equitable pricing based in reality. They mentioned that they were not looking to be like Twitter, which has API pricing so high it was publicly ridiculed.
I was excited to hear these statements, as I agree that long-term Reddit footing the bill for third-party apps is not tenable, and with a paid arrangement there's a great possibility for developing a more concrete relationship with Reddit, with better API support for users. I think this optimism came across in my first post about the calls with Reddit.

When did they announce pricing?

Six weeks later, they called to discuss pricing. I quickly put together a small app where I could input the prices and it would output monthly/yearly cost, cost for free users, paid users, etc. so I'd be able to process the information immediately.
The price they gave was $0.24 for 1,000 API calls. I quickly inputted this in my app, and saw that it was not far off Twitter's outstandingly high API prices, at $12,000, and with my current usage would cost almost $2 million dollars per month, or over $20 million per year. That is not an exaggeration, that is just multiplying the 7 billion requests Apollo made last month by the price per request. Could I potentially get that number down? Absolutely given some time, but it's illustrative of the large cost that Apollo would be charged.

Why do you say Reddit's pricing is "too high"? By what metric?

Reddit's promise was that the pricing would be equitable and based in reality. The reality that they themselves have posted data about over the years is as follows (copy-pasted from my previous post):

Less than 2 years ago they said they crossed $100M in quarterly revenue for the first time ever, if we assume despite the economic downturn that they've managed to do that every single quarter now, and for your best quarter, you've doubled it to $200M. Let's also be generous and go far, far above industry estimates and say you made another $50M in Reddit Premium subscriptions. That's $550M in revenue per year, let's say an even $600M. In 2019, they said they hit 430 million monthly active users, and to also be generous, let's say they haven't added a single active user since then (if we do revenue-per-user calculations, the more users, the less revenue each user would contribute). So at generous estimates of $600M and 430M monthly active users, that's $1.40 per user per year, or $0.12 monthly. These own numbers they've given are also seemingly inline with industry estimates as well.

Apollo's price would be approximately $2.50 per month per user, with Reddit's indicated cost being approximately $0.12 per their own numbers.
A 20x increase does not seem "based in reality" to me.

Why doesn't Reddit just buy Apollo and other third-party apps?

This was a very common comment across the topics: "If Apollo has an apparent opportunity cost of $20 million per year, why not just buy them and other third-party apps, as they did with Alien Blue?"
I believe it's a fair question. If these apps apparently cost so much, an easy solution that would likely make everyone happy would be to simply buy these apps out. So I brought that up to them during a call on May 31st where I was suggesting a variety of potential solutions.

Bizarre allegations by Reddit of Apollo "blackmailing" and "threatening" Reddit

About 24 hours after that call with Reddit, I received this odd message on Mastodon:

"Can you please comment publicly about the internal Reddit claim that you tried to “blackmail” them for a $10,000,000 payout to “stay quiet”?"

Then yesterday, moderators told me they were on a call with CEO Steve Huffman (spez), and he said the following per their transcript:

Steve: "Apollo threatened us, said they’ll “make it easy” if Reddit gave them $10 million."
Steve: "This guy behind the scenes is coercing us. He's threatening us."

Wow. Because my memory is that you didn't take it as a threat, and you even apologized profusely when you admitted you misheard it. It's very easy to take a single line and make it look bad by removing all the rest of the context, so let's look at the full context.
I can only assume you didn't realize I was recording the call, because there's no way you'd be so blatantly lying if you did.
As said, a common suggestion across the many threads on this topic was "If third-party apps are costing Reddit so much money, why don't they just buy them out like they did Alien Blue?" That was the point I brought up. If running Apollo as it stands now would cost you $20 million yearly as you quote, I suggested you cut a check to me to end Apollo. I said I'd even do it for half that or six months worth: $10 million, what a deal!
The bizarre thing is - initially - on the call you interpreted that as a threat. Even giving you the benefit of the doubt that maybe my phrasing was confusing, I asked for you to elaborate on how you found what I said to be a threat, because I was incredibly confused how you interpreted it that way. You responded that I said "Hey, if you want this to go away…" Which is not at all what I said, so I reiterated that I said "If you want to Apollo to go quiet, as in it's quite loud in terms of API usage".
What did you then say?

Me: "I said 'If you want Apollo to go quiet'. Like in terms of- I would say it's quite loud in terms of its API usage."
Reddit: "Oh. Go quiet as in that. Okay, got it. Got it. Sorry."
Reddit: "That's a complete misinterpretation on my end. I apologize. I apologize immediately."

The admission that you mistook me, and the four subsequent apologies led me to believe that you acknowledged you mistook me and you were apologetic. The fact that you're pretending none of this happened (or was recorded), and instead espousing a different reality where instead of apologizing for taking it as a threat, you're instead going the complete opposite direction and saying "He threatened us!" is so low I almost don't believe it.
But again, I've recorded all my calls with you just in case you tried something like this.
Transcript of this part of the call: https://gist.github.com/christianselig/fda7e8bc5a25aec9824f915e6a5c7014
Audio of this part of the call: http://christianselig.com/apollo-end/reddit-third-call-may-31-end.m4a
(If you take issue with the call being recorded please remember that I'm in Canada and so long as one participant in the call (me) consents to being recorded, it's legal. If anyone would like the recording of the full call, I'm happy to provide.)
I bring this up for two reasons:

• I don't want Reddit slandering me to internal employees or public people by saying I threatened them when they reality is that they immediately apologized for misunderstanding me.
• It shows why I've finally come to the conclusion that I don't think this situation is recoverable. If Reddit is willing to stoop to such deep lows as to slander individuals with blatant lies to try to get community favor back, I no longer have any faith they want this to work, or ever did.

What is an API or an API request anyway?

Some people are confused about this situation and don't understand what an API is. An API (Application Programming Interface) is just a way for an app to talk to a website. As an analogy, pretend Reddit is a bouncer. Historically, you can ask Reddit "Could I have the comments for this post?" or "Can you list the posts in AskReddit?". Those would be one API request each, and Reddit would respond with the corresponding data.
Everything you do on Reddit is an API request. Upvoting, downvoting, commenting, loading posts, loading subreddits, checking for new messages, blocking users, filtering subreddits, etc.
The situation is changing so that for each API request you make, there's a portion of a penny charged to the developer of that app. I think that is very reasonable, provided, well, that the price they charge is reasonable.

Claims that Apollo is "inefficient"

Another common claim by Reddit is that Apollo is inherently inefficient, using on average 345 requests per day per user, while some other apps use 100. I'd like to use some numbers to illustrate why I think this is very unfairly framing it.
Up until a week ago, the stated Reddit API rate limits that apps were asked to operate within was 60 requests per minute per user. That works out to a total of 86,400 per day. Reddit stated that Apollo uses 345 requests per user per day on average, which is also in line with my findings. Thats 0.4% of the limit Reddit was previously imposing, which I would say is quite efficient.
As an analogy (can you tell I love analogies?), to scale the numbers, if I was to borrow my friend’s car and he said “Please don’t drive it more than 864 miles” and I returned the car with 3.4 miles driven, I think he’d be pretty happy with my low use. The fact that a different friend one week only used 1 mile is really cool, but I don't think either person is "inefficient".
That being said, if Reddit would like to see Apollo make further optimizations to get its existing number lower, I’m genuinely more than happy to do so! However the 30 day limit they’ve given me after announcing the pricing to when I will start getting charged significant amounts of money is not enough time to deal with rewriting large parts of my app to lower total requests, while also changing the payment model, transitioning users, and ensuring this is all properly tested and gets through app review.
Further, Reddit themselves said to me that the majority of the cost isn't the server, it's the opportunity cost per user, so the focus on 100 versus 345 calls, rather than the cost per user, doesn't sound genuine. At the very least providing even a bit more time to lower usage to their new targets would be feasible if they've historically provided it, and it's not the majority of the costs anyway.

Me: "Because I assume the majority of it isn't server costs. I assume the majority is the opportunity cost per user."
Reddit: "Exactly."

Why not just increase the price of Apollo?

One option many have suggested is to simply increase the price of Apollo to offset costs. The issue here is that Apollo has approximately 50,000 yearly subscribers at the moment. On average they paid $10/year many months ago, a price I chose based on operating costs I had at the time (server fees, icon design, having a part-time server engineer). Those users are owed service as they already prepaid for a year, but starting July 1st will (in the best case scenario) cost an additional $1/month each in Reddit fees. That's $50,000 in sudden monthly fee that will start incurring in 30 days.
So you see, even if I increase the price for new subscribers, I still have those many users to contend with. If I wait until their subscription expires, slowly month after month there will be less of them. First month $50,000, second month maybe $45,000, then $40,000, etc. until everything has expired, amounting to hundreds of thousands of dollars. It would be cheaper to simply refund users.
I hope you can recognize how that's an enormous amount of money to suddenly start incurring with 30 days notice. Even if I added 12,000 new subscribers at $5/month (an enormous feat given the short notice), after Apple's fees that would just be enough to break even.
Going from a free API for 8 years to suddenly incurring massive costs is not something I can feasibly make work with only 30 days. That's a lot of users to migrate, plans to create, things to test, and to get through app review, and it's just not economically feasible. It's much cheaper for me to simply shut down.

So what is the REAL issue you're having?

Hopefully that illustrates why, even more than the large price associated with the API, the 30 day timeline between when the pricing was announced and developers will be charged is a far, far, far bigger issue and not one I can overcome. Much more time would be needed to overhaul the payment model in my app, transition existing users from existing plans, test the changes, and have users update to the new version.
As a comparison, when Apple bought Dark Sky and announced a shut down of their API, knowing that this API was at the core of many businesses, they provided 18 months before the API would be turned off. When the 18 months came, they ultimately extended it another 12 months, resulting in a total transition period of 30 months. While I'm not asking for that much, Reddit's in comparison is 30 days.

Reddit says you won't get your first bill until August 1st, though!

The issue is the size of the bill, not when it will arrive. Significant, significant charges for the API will start building up with 30 days notice on July 1st, the fact that the bill for those charges being 30 days from then is not important. If you hear that your electricity bill is going up 1,000x and the company tells you, "Don't worry, the bill only comes at the end of the month", I hope you understand how that isn't comforting.

What would be a good price/timeline?

I hope I explained above why the 30 day time limit is the true issue. However in a perfect world I think lowering the price by half and providing a three month transition period to the paid API would make the transition feasible for more developers, myself included. These concessions seem minor and reasonable in the face of the changes.

I thought you said Reddit would be flexible on the timeline?

That was my understanding as well based on what they said on a call on May 4th:

Reddit: "If there's an entity who's like 'Hey I'm showing really good progress', you know trying to like we're trying to get a contract in place, we're trying to do all that type of stuff, I don't think you're going to see us be like, you know, like overly aggressive on that timeline. And I feel pretty confident about that point by the way based on conversations I've heard internally."

However when asking about more time, such as a 90 day transition period to make the changes, they said:

Reddit: "On the 90-day transition, remember that billing doesn't kick in until July 1. So you won't see your first bill from July until the beginning of August, and it won’t be due until the end of August (It’s net 30 day billing). You do, however, have to sign an agreement to get paid level access on July 1."

Did you explicitly ask Reddit for more time?

Yes, my last email to them (including Steve) said:

In terms of timeline, what concerns me most is the short nature of it before I start incurring costs. I have a large amount of users at price points that I won’t be able to afford to support with 30 days notice. For instance, users who subscribed for a year for $10 six months ago when I had no idea any of this was coming, amounts to $0.83 per month or $0.58 after Apple’s cut. Even if I’m able to decrease my API usage down to the number in your charts, that still puts me in the red for everyone of those users for awhile with no recourse. A situation like this is one that is legitimately making me legitimately leaning toward shutting down the app, but one that I could salvage if given more time to transition from the free API to the paid API.
In prior calls you mentioned that provided I kept communicating and progress was being made, the timeline wasn’t an absolute.
Is that still the case, or is it now the case that the date is set in stone?

That was a week ago and I've yet to receive any further contact from Reddit.

Isn't this your fault for building a service reliant on someone else?

To a certain extent, yes. However, I was assured this year by Reddit not even that long ago that no changes were planned to be made to the API Apollo uses, and I've made decisions about how to monetize my business based on what Reddit has said.

January 26, 2023
Reddit: "So I would expect no change, certainly not in the short to medium term. And we're talking like order of years."

Another portion of the call:

January 26, 2023
Reddit: "There's not gonna be any change on it. There's no plans to, there's no plans to touch it right now in 2023.
Me: "Fair enough."
Reddit: "And if we do touch it, we're going to be improving it in some way."

Will you build a competitor? Move to one of the existing alternatives?

I've received so many messages of kind people offering to work with me to build a competitor to Reddit, and while I'm very flattered, that's not something I'm interested in doing. I'm a product guy, I like building fun apps for people to use, and I'm just not personally interested in something more managerial.
These last several months have also been incredibly exhausting and mentally draining, I don't have it in me to engage in something so enormous.

Will you sell Apollo?

Probably not. Maybe if the perfect buyer came along who thought they could turn Apollo into something cool and sustainable, but I'd rather the app just die if it would go to a company that would turn something I worked really hard on into something that would ruin its legacy.
To be clear: I am not threatening anyone in the previous paragraph.

Reddit states that the Twitter comparison is unfair

Reddit stated on the first call that they don't want to be like Twitter:

Reddit: "I think one thing that we have tried to be very, very, very intentional about is we are not Elon, we're not trying to be that, we're not trying to go down that same path. [...] We are trying to do is just use usage-based pricing, that will hopefully be very transparent to you, and very clear to you. Or we're not trying to go down the same path that you may have seen some of our other peers go down."

They now state that the comparison of how close their pricing comes to Twitter is an unfair one, and that when they said that above, they were apparently referring not to the pricing, but to the decision Twitter made to ban third-party apps at a rule level, not a pricing level.
I think regardless of whatever their intent/meaning behind the comparison to Twitter was, the result is the same: the pricing will kill third-party apps, just as Twitter did.
I said this to Reddit, and they responded that they don't think Twitter's pricing is unreasonable, and that if anything, if Twitter reversed the rule about third-party apps, they would probably increase the prices as well.
Just to be clear about how wrong and out of touch that is, without naming names, a formerly very, very high up person at Twitter messaged me on Twitter and said:

"The Reddit api moves are crazy. I’m not sure what choices you have but to move to another network. [...] That pricing is designed to prevent apps like yours forevermore."

So to be clear, even this person thinks this pricing is unreasonable. I do too.

Have you talked to CEO Steve Huffman about any of this?

I requested a call to talk to Steve about some suggestions I had, his response was "Sorry, no. You can give name-redacted a ping if you want."
I've then emailed that person (same person I've been talking to for months) suggestions approximately one week ago about how Apollo could survive this, and I've yet to receive a response.

Do I support the protest/Reddit blackout?

Abundantly. Unlike other social media companies like Facebook and Twitter who pay their moderators as employees, Reddit relies on volunteers to do the hard work for free. I completely understand that when tools they take to do their volunteer, important job are taken away, there is anger and frustration there. While I haven't personally mobilized anyone to participate in the blackout out of fear of retaliation from Reddit, the last thing I want is for that to feel like I don't support the folks speaking up. I wholeheartedly do.
It's been a horrible week, and the kindness Redditors and moderators and communities have shown Apollo and other third-party apps has genuinely made it much more bearable and I am genuinely so appreciative.
I am, admittedly, doubtful Reddit wants to listen to folks anymore so I don't see it having an effect.

Your initial post in April sounded quite optimistic. Are you dumb?

In hindsight, kinda yeah. Many of the other developers and folks I talked to were much less optimistic than I was, but I legitimately had great interactions with Reddit for many years prior to last week (they were kind, communicative, gave me heads up of changes), so when they said they were aiming to have pricing that would be fair and based in reality, I honestly believed them. That was foolish of me in hindsight, and maybe could have had a different outcome if I was more aggressive in the beginning. Sorry. /canadian
(And to be clear, they did indeed say this. They used the word "substantive" and I wanted to make sure we had the same definition of something "having a firm basis in reality and therefore important, meaningful, or considerable")

Reddit: "That's exactly right. And I think, thankfully, the word is exactly the right one. It's going to have a firm basis in reality. I also just looked it up. We're going to try to be as transparent as we can."

Reddit claims they've reached out to developers who were bad users of the API, was Apollo contacted?

On May 31st Reddit posted a chart of large excess usage by some unlabeled API clients, and stated: "We reached out to the most impactful large scale applications in order to work out terms for access above our default rate limits via an enterprise tier."
To be clear, Apollo was never contacted, and I've been told from someone internally that Apollo is indeed not one of the unlabeled API clients.
The only time that Apollo was reached out to by Reddit in any capacity about usage was late last year when we received an email about a 6 minute period where Apollo's server API usage increased by 35% before lowering again. Despite 35% for 6 minutes being a comparatively small blip (the above post references clients that are over by 500000%), we responded within 2 minutes. We offered to jump on a call with Reddit engineers if they needed an answer ASAP, identified the issue within several hours and Reddit thanked us for the fast investigation.
Full email transcript: https://gist.github.com/christianselig/6c71608cf617d2f881cd2849325494c1

Claims that Apollo has made no attempt to be a good user of the API

On the call with moderators, Steve Huffman said:

Steve: "I don't use the app, so I'll give you the best answer I can -- he does scraping so that he can deliver notifications faster, but has done NO EFFORT to be a good citizen of the internet."

First off, Apollo does no scraping, it's purely through authenticated calls to the API and has checks in place to ensure it stays within Reddit's API rate limits. I've open sourced the server code to show this.
Secondly, to say we have made no effort is categorically false. I have so many emails where I've reached out to Reddit expressing concerns about and bugs inefficiencies in the API, or ideas on how to improve things, or significant Reddit bugs that made things hard on us. When Reddit has had questions for us, as discussed above, we immediately jumped into action to get an answer as quickly as possible.
Here's an email of me giving a heads up to Reddit of IP address changes on our server:

Me: "With the new change it'll be maybe like, one IP address. This is all obviously still within the API rate limits as the requests are from individual user accounts that have signed in. Again, long story short the result will be more optimized if anything, I just wanted to give a heads up and ensure that it'd be okay if Reddit suddenly saw the server go from a bunch of different IP addresses to a single one which might cause some confusion if I didn't give a heads up."

Me wanting to make sure we were doing everything as best as we could:

Me: "Everything is going well, we just had a few questions about best practices making sure we’re following any suggestions your team has. Is there any way we could poke someone on your team with a few questions we’ve been having and have a tiny back and forth? We were just seeing some elevated response times, and just thought it would be great if we could maybe describe what we’re doing and see if anything seems off/suboptimal."

Me reporting to Reddit that the API has a serious bug in recording rate limits:

Me: "We obviously respect the rate limit headers and if a user comes close to approaching it (within 50 requests of the 600 every 10 minutes limit) we stop their requests until the refresh period occurs. However we're seeing some users have very, very weird rate limit headers. Things like "requests remaining: 0, requests made: 17,483, reset: 598 seconds left" which indicates they've somehow made over 17 thousand requests in two seconds which seems hard to believe."

Me suggesting to Reddit improvements that could help improve efficiency of notification API calls:

Me: "So like little stuff like that, where even if there's a streaming client or some way to minimize the calls there, I think it would help us both out enormously."

Further, when making suggestions to your own employees, they themselves have expressed concern about how terrible the public API is:

Call on January 26, 2023
Reddit: "I cannot tell you how painful it is to use our API. [...] The API needs to change. Like it's just unusable. I am surprised that you're able to build a functional app on it to be honest."

Claims that third-party apps are not interested in talking

Steve: "Why not work with the third party apps? Their existence is not a priority for us. We don't use them. I don't use them. It's a part of our traffic but not a lot, and it's a lot of work on our side to keep them alive. If I have to choose where to put our effort, we're going to focus internally. I'm kind of open to it, but I haven't – and I can't convince you, but I don't get the sense that they want to work with us either."

I'm genuinely not sure where Steve has got the impression that I don't want to work with him. Despite reaching out multiple times and him declining to talk, I've stated multiple times on calls, literally saying the words "I definitely still want to talk".

Reddit: "What I'm hearing is like, Yeah, great. We have this disagreement on pricing methodology, etc. But any feasible number that we get to, any number that's even in, the zip code of what we're sharing with you is unfeasible from your perspective financially. So it's like arguing around the edges of that price thing is like, it just won't make any sense to you. And I presume also just given the NSFW stuff and the removal of ads that makes it even more trickier." Me: Yeah. I mean, to be very clear, I'm not saying I'm walking away from the negotiation table and taking my basketball and going home and just gonna kick up a storm. That's not my intention at all. I definitely still want to talk. I'm not asking you to lower the price by a hundred times or something. I don't think – depending on what you mean by zip code – I don't think I'm so unreasonable that I'm requiring you to bend over backwards here."

I've also emailed Steve and the other contact directly stating that I'm interested in talking, and including ideas for how we could come to a solution:

Me: "I understand where Reddit's coming from in this. A free API, while appreciated, is not tenable for you especially heading into an IPO, and my only goal here is to come to a solution where we both feel understood. I also hear you that killing third-party clients isn't actually the goal, and in that spirit have been working on how to address your concerns from my end: [...]"

I don't know how you can say I'm not interested in talking when you haven't my most recent email in a week. To say it once more, I was very interested in talking.
On the other side of things, per the transcript, Steve and the other admin on the call don't even know when the discussions with third-party apps began.

Steve: "When did we start talking with them?"
AnAbsurdlyAngryGoose: "What month did you first start?"
Steve: "FlyingLaserTurtles? Do you remember? April or May of this year."
FlyingLaserTurtles: "Maybe late March? But yes."

Claims that Reddit has been talking to developers for months talking about these changes

Steve: "We've been in contact with third party apps for MONTHS, talking about these coming changes."

When you announce that the API will be charging developers, the most important portion of that conversation is what will be charged, which was not available for almost two months after the initial call. From the time developers were told the price, to the time developers will be subject to the price, is 30 days, not "months". Months would have been very helpful, in fact.

What about existing subscriptions?

I've been talking to my rep at Apple, and over the next few weeks my plan is to release something similar to what Tweetbot did (Paul has been incredibly helpful in all of this) where folks can decide if they want a pro-rated refund on any existing time left in their subscription as Apollo will not be able to afford to continue it, or they can decline the refund if they're feeling kind and have enjoyed their time with Apollo.
For the curious, refunding all existing subscriptions by my estimates will cost me about $250,000.

A nice send off at WWDC

Apollo got mentioned a few times during Apple's 2023 WWDC keynote, even by Craig Federighi himself, and even during the Vision Pro announcement showing Apollo as one of the existing apps compatible with the headset (I'm sorry I won't be able to see that happen).
I was lucky enough to be there in person and it felt incredible. Some folks asked if there was any deeper meaning behind that, and while that would be cool, in all reality these things are so well produced that they've been done for a while now, so I'm sure it's just a coincidence, even if it's a really cool one.

Extra icons

A funny amount of people have reached out wondering about all the extra monthly icons I had queued up for Apollo. I love them, was so excited for them, and I'll make them available immediately for the short time left, but if you're curious here's a screenshot of all of them: https://christianselig.com/apollo-end/remaining-icons.png
We ended up with well over 100 custom icons created by incredibly talented designers, and I'm really sorry to those designers who didn't get to see their work launched in the app (to be clear, don't worry, I paid them all – there isn't some bs "exposure" agreement – but it's fun to have your icon launch and I feel bad!)

When is Apollo's last day? What will happen?

In order to avoid incurring charges I will delete Apollo's API token on the evening of June 30th PST. Until that point, Apollo should continue to operate as it has, but after that date attempts to connect to the Reddit API will fail.
I will put up an explainer in the app prior to that which will go live at that date. I will also provide a tool to export any local data you have in Apollo, such as filters or favorites.

Thank you

I want to thank a lot of people who have made this last week bearable. First and foremost, the communities, Redditors, and moderators who have reached out in support of third-party apps, making Reddit's gaslighting a lot more bearable in making me feel like at least someone was understanding me and in my corner.
My girlfriend's been absolutely incredible and supportive. This year was our 10th anniversary, and Monday was her 30th birthday. We're down in California for Apple's WWDC and had a bunch of things planned to do for her birthday afterward, and I feel terrible that we're flying home early to deal with all of this instead of making her 30th special. I'll make it up to her.
André Medeiros worked on the Apollo server component with me for the last two years, and it's been an absolute joy to work with a professional who knows so much on that side of things.
The iOS developer community has been unbelievably kind to me over the past several weeks, I've spent the last week with many of them, even staying at an Airbnb with a bunch of them (they ordered me pizza as I wrote this post!), and I've got so many hugs and condolences haha. Specifically want to thank Paul Haddad of Tweetbot/Tapbots/Ivory, Ryan Jones, Brian Mueller, Curtis Herbert, André Medeiros, Quinn Nelson, Paul Hudson, Majd Taby, Ryan McLeod, Phill Ryu, Larry Hryb, Charlie Chapman, Mustafa Yusuf, Adrian Eves, Devin Davies, Jordan Morgan, Yariv Nassim, Will Sigmon, Barry Hershman, Joe Rossignol, Michael Simmons, Joe Fabisevich, my family, and so, so many more.
Also want to thank everyone at Apple who have gone out of their way to be incredibly kind here (I don't know if I'm allowed to name names but you know who you are).

I'll be fine

No bullshit, I'll be fine. Through pure chance last year I spun off my silly Pixel Pals idea into a separate app, and that actually makes good revenue on the side. I also have savings. Recently (like last week) my city had its worst wildfires in history with over 100 homes destroyed. That's brutal, losing an app is sad, but it's been helpful to me to recognize how much worse it could be just literally down the street from me.
Honestly. Apollo had an incredible run, I met the coolest people, by my last count talked with folks over 15,000 times in our subreddit about Apollo, and raised over $80,000 for my local animal shelter through Apollo. I feel incredibly fortunate.
I think I'll rewatch Ted Lasso though.

Supporting my work

I build a second app called Pixel Pals that I spun off from Apollo that's thankfully done pretty well and I'll be spending more time on going forward. If you like the idea of digital pets it's a really fun app to check out. https://pixelpa.ls

Media

If any media/press folks have any questions, please shoot me an email rather than messaging me on Reddit, I missed a few last week because my inbox was blowing up. My email is [email protected]

AMA

I think I covered everything, but if there's any questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer!
In the event that this post is taken down or you want to link somewhere else, it's also available at https://apolloapp.io
Thanks for everything over these last 8 years,
- Christian
EDIT: Few updates:

Tip Jar

Per many requests I also added back the Tip Jar to the top of settings if you update the app. It's incredibly kind of anyone to even think of that, but please feel no pressure. On one hand I don't want it to feel like I'm profiteering off this event, but on the other hand I imagine people understand it would have been much more profitable/ideal if the app were able to just continue to exist in the first place so that would be really bad profiteering, and the refund thing genuinely is daunting.

What if…

I've seen a lot of questions along the lines of: "What if Reddit gives you a deadline extension because of this post and posts by other developers?" and that's something I truly would have loved for them to have made an effort to communicate earlier. You can't give developers 30 days between when the pricing is announced and when they will start incurring charges, and also wait a week (25% of the time we're given) between replying to emails without so much as a "we hear you're concerned about the short timeline and looking into what we can do". In conjunction with your previous emails, it just appears like you've stopped any desire to communicate with developers, in a period where we have a serious, expensive deadline looming with not that much time to wind down our apps.
And I also just know if I sent another email saying "I'm going to post tomorrow that Apollo is shutting down unless you do something about the timeline", it would be construed as a threat.
Even more than that, Reddit's behavior has been so appalling that for any developer I've talked to it's completely erased the indication that they even want us around.

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https://news.sky.com/story/lucy-letby-trial-latest-nurse-baby-murders-prosecution-sky-news-blog-12868375
https://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/23575178.live-lucy-letby-trial-june-8---cross-examination-continues/

Child O

Sky News:

Child O was born at the end of June 2016. He died within the first week of his life.
At the time of his birth, Letby was abroad in Ibiza on holiday with friends - including one of her colleagues.
She returned the day before Child O died.

​ Chester Standard:

Nicholas Johnson KC, for the prosecution, moves to the case of Child O.
Letby, in her defence statement, said she did "nothing to hurt [Child O]."
She noted a "change in [Child O's] appearance", but it was "not dramatic".
He had a deterioration and Letby noted Child O's abdomen was "red and distended".
She says she didn't notice a rash on Child O, and no-one mentioned it.
She said the abdomen was "very swollen", and there was a struggle to get lines in. Letby tells the court one of the lines had tissued.
She said one of the doctors had gone out to smoke a cigarette during the time of Child O's resuscitation, and when that doctor returned, they did not wash their hands.
Letby is asked if there is anything she wishes to change in her account of evidence so far. This is a question Mr Johnson asks at the start of most sessions during the cross-examination. Letby says there is nothing.

​

Letby agrees with Mr Johnson it was "big news" to see naturally conceived triplets on the unit, as it was a rare occurrence. Child O and Child P were two of the three triplets.
Messages are shown to the court between Letby and Jennifer Jones-Key from June 22.
Letby confirms when she is back in, adding: "Yep probably be back in with a bang lol"
M Johnson says within 72 hours of that, two of the triplets were dead and Child Q had collapsed.

​ Sky News:

She texted a male colleague - one she allegedly had a crush on - and asked about the triplets.
"Did you want to get involved with them?" Mr Johnson asks.
"I was just making inquiries," Letby tells the court.
The triplets were born with few complications - and one had been moved to a lower grade nursery.

​ Chester Standard:

Letby is asked why she was "so interested" in the triplets. Letby tells the court it was "general conversation" between staff colleagues as it was "something unusual on the unit".
She accepts that all went well with the birth, and accepts that the triplets had been doing well, with Child O being "fine".
Letby accepts that Child O was doing well on the night shift for June 22-23, and had been moved off CPAP on to Optiflow breathing support.
Letby accepts Sophie Ellis's description there was 'nothing concerning' about Child O's presentation.

​

Letby is asked to look at an observation chart for Child O for June 22-23. There is a reading which, the court is told, appears to have been changed from '1430' to '1330'.
Letby says Child O's temperature is a little unstable in the hours prior to 1.30pm on June 23, but accepts he was otherwise "stable".
The court is shown a lab result, that there was no bacterial infection found in a blood sample taken on June 23 for Child O.
A feeding chart showed Child O was "tolerating his feeds very well", Mr Johnson says. Letby agrees.

​ Sky News:

In a police statement, Letby claimed a nurse had raised concerns about Child O's abdomen and said: "I do not accept this was dealt with adequately."
Nick Johnson KC, for the prosecution, now asks her: "You are suggesting there was a problem but you are not in a position to tell us the problem?"
"Yes."
Mr Johnson points out there is no evidence of this in the charts.

​ Chester Standard:

Mr Johnson asks Letby where the 'problem' is for Child O's abdomen that she had said was not dealt with, as there is no data to show it.
Letby says, after looking at the data, she does not know what the problem was.
Mr Johnson says there is no problem shown in the paperwork.
Letby says there was "no formal note" made.
The court is shown Sophie Ellis's note at 7.32am: Abdo looks full slightly loopy. Appeared uncomfortable after feed....reg Mayberry reviewed. Abdo soft, does not appear in any discomfort on examination. Has had bo. To continue to feed but to monitor.'
Letby says the doctor did not formally record it.
Letby accepts a review was carried out at 9am and Child O's liver was reviewed, finding no injury. Letby accepts the liver injury happened 'on her watch'. She says she accepts it happened on her shift, but does not know how it happened.
She denies it happened on her hand.

​

A shift rota for June 23 is shown. Letby was designated nurse for two of the three triplets in room 2 - Child O and Child P - plus one other baby. The third triplet was in room 1, with Child Q and two other babies.
Letby rules out staffing levels as a contributory factor in Child O's collapse or death, or staffing mistakes.
Letby says Rebecca Morgan was a student nurse on the unit. She accepts that the student nurse would not always be in room 2, and would sometimes be chatting to parents.
Letby says the two triplets she was designated nurse for were in the high-dependency room, and if she left the room for a period of time, she would ask someone to 'keep an eye' on them.
A note by Dr Katarzyna Cooke at 9.30am is shown to the court, which included: 'No nursing concerns, observations normal'.
Letby says she left the unit at one point to get donor milk for the babies.
Letby is shown a series of text messages between herself and a doctor prior to 9.30am. Letby expresses disappontment in the message the doctor will not be on the unit ['Boo']. Letby says she got on well with the doctor.
Letby asks if the doctor would be on the unit in the afternoon in the message. She adds: 'My student is glued to me.....'
She adds: 'Bit rubbish that you couldn't stay on nnu'. Mr Johnson asks if Letby was 'missing' him. Letby replies this was the first day back from her Ibiza holiday.
Letby sent a message at 9.55am: 'I lost my handover sheet - found it in the donor milk freezer!! (clearly I should still be in Ibiza)'
Letby is asked if it was a 'busy' morning for her. She says "reasonably, not exceptionally".
Letby is asked how she finds the time to text when at work. She says she would not use her phone at the cotside or a clinical area, but would use her phone elsewhere in the unit.

​ Sky News (Same evidence):

At 9.32am, Letby texted him "Boo" after he said he was not on the neonatal unit.
"Were you disappointed he wasn't there, on the unit?" Mr Johnson asks.
"Yes, I enjoyed working with [colleague]," Letby says.
"Did you want to get his attention?" Mr Johnson says.
"No."
"Is that the reason you sabotaged Child O?"
"No."
More texts are shown to the court.
Colleague (9.33am): I thought something similar
Letby (9.36am): Are you here this aft
Colleague (9.37am): Yes back after the clinic
Letby (9.39am): Have fun
Letby (9.40am): My student is glued to me
Colleague (9.41am): Awww. Could be a challenge
Further texts are shown to the court.
Letby (9.45am): Bit rubbish that you couldn't stay on NNU
"Were you missing him?" Mr Johnson asks.
Letby denies this and says it was her first day back.
Letby (9.55am): I lost my handover sheet - found it in the donor milk freezer!! (clearly I could still be in Ibiza)
Letby is asked how she found the time to send so many text messages when on shift. Letby says staff would often use their phones on the unit - but not when they were at the cot side.

​ Chester STandard:

A feeding chart for Child O is shown to the court. Letby is recorded as signing for feeds at 10.30am and 12.30pm. She says the writing above is not by her, but by Rebecca Morgan. She says if she has signed, then Rebecca Morgan does not need to sign.
Letby denies feeding Child O. She denies overfeeding Child O.
Nurse Melanie Taylor, at about 1pm, entered room 2 and said 'he doesn’t look as well now as he did earlier. Do you think we should move him back to [room] 1 to be safe?'
Letby declined. She said she doesn't remember being very dismissive.
Letby says "That's Mel's opinion" to the evidence that Melanie Taylor had told the jury she felt Letby was 'undermining her authority'.
She adds that Melanie Taylor had the right to override that and 'take Child O off her'.
Letby denies she had sabotaged Child O, or that this would have meant Child O would have 'escaped her influence'.

​

Letby denies she 'lied' to the doctor colleague about a 'trace aspirate' for Child O at 12.30pm.
Mr Johnson says he is mistaken, as a doctor's note records '0 bile' for the 'trace aspirate'.
Letby says the 160-170 heart rate for Child O, as recorded by the doctor, is higher than normal, and higher than ideal. Mr Johnson says the abnormal readings start, on the observation chart, 180bpm.
Letby had recorded 'tachycardiac' for Child O. Letby tells the court when she reviewed Child O, there was a spike in the heart rate, and in her opinion, Child O was tachycardiac.

​

Mr Johnson says Letby made a 'false, lying entry' in a different chart. A blood gas chart is shown to the court for Child O.
Mr Johnson asks where the lying entry is on the chart.
LL: "I don't know."
Mr Johnson points to the 'CPAP' note on a column. Letby says Child O had some CPAP pressure. Mr Johnson says Child O had not been on CPAP breathing support for "hours and hours".
NJ: "You were covering for air you had given him, weren't you?"
LL: "No."
An x-ray report for Child O is shown, including: 'Moderate gaseous distention of bowel loops throughout the abdomen.'
Letby is asked why she wrote CPAP in her notes.
LL: "I can't answer that now, I don't know."
Letby says she does not know if Child O might have been on some CPAP pressure via Optiflow.
Letby denies 'forgetting to make a false entry on the observation chart'.

​

Letby is asked about messages exchanged between her and a doctor when, at 2.30pm, she was recorded as taking observations for Child O.
The messages were sent at 2.20pm and 2.23pm.
Child O collapsed shortly after 2.40pm. In her defence statement, she said the doctor colleague was on the unit at the time.

​ Sky News:

Mr Johnson continues to take the court through what happened on the afternoon of 23 June 2016, the day Child O died.
The colleague whom Letby allegedly had a crush on came to intubate Child O.
The pair exchanged a series of Facebook messages between 2.08pm and 2.37pm, discussing the procedure - and the male colleague's lunch.
Letby disputes she was on the unit at this time, hence why the two were texting.
Medical notes show Letby was allegedly attending to Child O at 2.30pm.

​ Chester Standard:

Swipe data shows Letby has arrived on the neonatal unit from the labour ward at 2.39pm.
Letby says she cannot say, definitively, where she was at that time. She denies 'nipping out' of the neonatal unit to make it look like she was elsewhere at the time Child O collapsed.

​ Sky News:

Lucy Letby is asked why she took a break at the time Child O desaturated so significantly that the on-call doctor was required to attend.
"Breaks were allocated by the shift leader and I had to be guided by them," she says.
She returned to the unit at 2.39pm. Shortly after the on-call doctor left Child O, he collapsed.

​ Chester Standard:

The doctor's note is shown to the court: 'Called to see [Child O] at ~1440 desaturation, bradycardia and mottled...'
Letby says she believes she called the doctor to the nursery room. She denies it was to get personal attention; Letby says it was because he was there to assist Child O.

​

Letby says a 20ml saline bolus was given to Child O in response to a poor blood gas record. She says there was a delay as there was an issue with getting the line for Child O. She says she believes the bolus, which has 'time started: 1440', was in response to Child O's collapse.
A doctor's note recorded for the '~1440' collapse: '10ml/kg 0.9% sodium chloride bolus already given.'
Letby agrees the two desaturations for Child O that day were "profound" ones.
Letby's note: 'Approx 1440 [Child O] had a profound desaturation to 30s followed by bradycardia. Mottled++ and abdomen red and distended. Transferred to nursery 1 and Neopuff ventilation commenced. Perfusion poor'
Letby, when questioned, says babies would "frequently desaturate", to this level, and this happened prior to June 2015, and "often".

​

Letby says the redness to the abdomen on Child O was abnormal, and the description of mottling was normal.
Mr Johnson says during the intubation, Dr Stephen Brearey, in evidence on March 15, said Child O had a rash on his chest, on the right side, about 1-2cm in size. He said it was an "unusual" rash that was initially pupuric, and it later disappeared.
Letby says: "I don't believe that's what I saw. I saw mottling. If that's what Dr Brearey saw, then if that's what you could take as being true, then yes."

​

Mr Johnson says when the doctor went to see Child O's parents, and during that time, Child O desaturated again, for the final time.
Letby says she does not remember this declining moment, but said she put out a crash call.
LL: "I remember the death, but not this precise moment where he declined and I put out a crash call."
Child O was intubated and efforts were made to resuscitate him. Letby says she did not recall seeing the rash disappear. She says she did not see what Dr Brearey and Dr Ravi Jayaram had seen.
Letby says she did not pull an NG Tube out of Child O's stomach.
An x-ray report for Child O is made at 4.46pm. It record: 'NG Tube in situ with its tip close to the cardia, this should be advanced by 10-15mm.'
An earlier x-ray report said the NG Tube was 'in a good position'.
Letby says a dislodged tube would still drain, as it would still be in the stomach.
Letby says the tube could be moved during the intubation process at 2.40pm.

​

Mr Johnson says Child O's mother, in agreed evidence, said her baby was 'changing colour' with 'prominent veins.' She says she later saw that in Child P.
Letby says she didn't see that herself.
The father of Child O said 'you could see his different veins - it looked like he had prickly heat, like something oozing through his veins'.
Letby says she did not see anything like that.
She accepts she saw a red-purply blotchy rash and a red abdomen.

​

In police interview, Letby said she believed she had done chest compressions and drew up some drugs. Letby says after looking at records, she now believes she was just involved in medications.
Mr Johnson suggests Letby is distancing herself from the CPR so it could not be said she caused the liver injury to Child O. Letby denies this.
Letby says she "does not know" how Child O got the liver injury.

​ Sky News:

Lucy Letby is accused of distancing herself from Child O's resuscitation because of the liver injury he sustained at some point during her shift.
"You don't want to have any connection between you and the liver injury because you are now running the case it was the CPR that caused the liver injury," Mr Johnson asks.
"No," says Letby.
Mr Johnson then asks: "How did Child O get that liver injury?"
"I don't know."

​ ChesterStandard:

Letby denies injecting air into Child O to cause an air embolous, or inflicting a liver injury on him.
NJ: "These things all happened on your watch, didn't they?"
LL: "Yes."
Letby says she disputes an account that Dr Brearey told her not to come in after that shift.
NJ: "Were you bothered by what you witnessed?"
LL: "Of course I was bothered."

​

Messages are shown between Letby and the doctor from 9.14pm on June 23:
Doctor: 'Your notes must have taken a long time - Had you documented anything from this morning?'
LL: 'Only a little. Had the other 2 to write on as well and sorting out the ffp etc. Left signing for drugs until tomorrow'
A nurse also messaged Letby: 'F***in hell, what happened?'
LL: 'Can't Think straight so took a while'
LL: 'Blew up abdomen think it's sepsis'
Letby says it's not a term she uses often, but she had seen it before.
LL: 'Had big tummy overnight but just ballooned after lunch and went from there'
Letby tells the court that is what she said, having been reviewed by a doctor and Child O had a loopy bowel. She says she is referring to distention found prior to 8am.
LL, at 9.33pm: 'Worry as identical'
Mr Johnson: "Were you setting up a false narrative here?"
Letby: "No, that's not what I'm suggesting at all."
NJ: "You had already set your plan in motion by pumping air into [Child P] before you left."
LL: "No."

​ Sky News (Same Evidence):

"I am also going to suggest you are telling your friend [...] lies in these texts," Mr Johnson says, before showing another text.
Letby to Colleague 2 (9.16pm) Had big tummy overnight but just ballooned after lunch and went from there
Mr Johnson suggests this was a "not accurate" reflection of what had happened on the night shift.
"I believe he had had an enlarged abdomen overnight," Letby says.
Letby then expressed concern in a text to Colleague 2 about Child O's triplet.
Mr Johnson accuses Letby of "trying to create in the minds of other people" that there would be a similar problem with Child P.
"No, that is not what I am suggesting," Letby says.
"Because that is what you were planning," Mr Johnson says.
"No, it is not."
"Because you had already put your plan into motion by pumping air into Child P before you left."
"No."

​ Chester Standard:

Letby is asked to look at a Datix form she had written [a form used by staff when issues have been highlighted, such as clinical incidents], on the documentation ['Employees involved' has Letby's name].
The form said 'Infant had a sudden acute collapse requiring resusctiation. Peripheral access lost.'
Dr Brearey said the information in the form was 'untrue', and he said he didn't believe at any point IV access was lost.
Asked about this, Letby says: "Well, that's Dr Brearey's opinion."
The form adds: 'SB [Brearey] wishes amendment to incident form - Patient did not lose peripheral access, intraosseuous access required for blood samples only.'
Letby says she does not believe her Datix report was untrue at the time.
NJ: "You were very worried that they were on to you, weren't you?"
LL: "No."

​

Child P

Mr Johnson turns to the case of Child P, triplet brother of Child O.
Letby, in her defence statement, denies hurting Child P. She said she did not recall having an argument with nursing colleague Kathryn Percival-Ward about working in room 1.
She said she was in conversation with student nurse Rebecca Morgan when Child P collapsed.
She said it was "chaotic" with all the staff arriving to resuscitate, and Child P was too poorly to be transferred to room 1, so was kept in room 2.
Child P's stomach was 'red'.
She says at some stage she pricked herself with a cannula needle and needed to go to A&E for treatment.
While there, she said she fainted, she believed due to stress at the time of the past few days, and had not eaten.
She said she had 'forgotten' she had taken a handover sheet home with her.

​

An examination of Child P at 10am on June 23, 2016 was "unremarkable", the court hears. Letby accepts that. She adds there was nothing of note during the day.
Mr Johnson suggests Child P worsened after Child O passed away. Letby agrees.
A 6pm feed for Child P is signed by Letby, and she says the writing above is not by her.
Dr John Gibbs had reported in his 6pm review for Child P that the baby boy was doing well. A blood sample taken at 6.35pm taken to a lab showed no signs of infection.
Letby denies overfeeding Child P 'at some point' between 5pm-8pm on June 23.

​

The cross-examination continues in the case of Child P.
Letby agrees there were 'no problems' at the time of the handover for Child P on the night of June 23. She recalls the x-ray taken shortly after that handover.
The x-ray report said: 'NG tube in satisfactory position...gas-filled bowel loops throughout the abdomen, through to the lower rectum, with no evidence of obstruction and no plain film signs of perforation'
Letby denies pumping Child P with air.
She agrees this was a deterioration for Child P.
Medical expert witness Dr Owen Arthurs had previously told the court this image was "quite unusual" for a baby of that gestation.
Letby says she cannot comment how the gas got there, only that she did not put it there.

​

A 14ml aspirate is recorded for Child P at the time of handover at 8pm.
NJ: "That was your doing, wasn't it?"
LL: "No."
NJ: "On your way home, you were sowing the seeds with your colleagues?" Mr Johnson refers to the 'Worry as identical' text message Letby had sent. "You were feeding a false narrative, trying to divert attention away from your homicidal activities?"
LL: "No."

​

5ml of air and 2ml of milk is aspirated from Child P at 7am.
"How much milk had [Child P] been fed overnight?"
Letby said Child P had been fed prior to midnight. She says if the NG Tube is in the stomach, air would come out.
Letby disagrees that Child P was well at the morning handover time, as Child P was 'nil by mouth'.
A police interview had earlier said Letby saying Child P was stable and well.
Mr Johnson suggests Letby is deliberately making the appearance of Child P worse now than at the time she gave her police interview.
LL: "No."

​ Sky News:

By the end of the night shift of 23/24 June 2016, the prosecution claims, Child P was "comfortable, settled and seemed like a well baby".
Lucy Letby is asked if she agrees with this.
"At 8 o'clock in the morning?" she asks.
"Yes," says Mr Johnson, the prosecution barrister.
"I am not sure. He had just been reviewed by the registrar."
Mr Johnson alleges that "whatever had been the problem had resolved itself" by the time Child P was handed back into her care on the morning of 24 June.
"No, because he had been placed nil by mouth," Letby says.
"Yes, but he was a well baby by the time he was handed over to you."
"I disagree, a baby nil by mouth is not a well baby," says Letby.
Letby is accused of making Child P sound worse to explain what happened to him during her shift on 24 June.

​ Chester Standard:

The day shift for June 24 is shown to the court. Student nurse Rebecca Morgan is on the rota. Lucy Letby is the designated nurse for Child P in room 2. The other surviving triplet is also in room 2, with designated nurse Christopher Booth. Child Q is in room 1 with two other babies. Three babies are in room 3, and three babies are in room 4.

​

Letby rules out staffing levels as a contributory factor in Child P's collapse and death.
She also rules out staffing mistakes.
She says there were "some issues with the chest drain", but "cannot say" how much of an effect that had on Child P.

​

By 0639, Sophie Ellis’ nursing note recorded that “abdo has been soft and non distended. 25ml of air aspirated by SNP Kate Ward. NGT placed on free drainage”.
Mr Johnson says Letby created a false nursing note at 8am to say: "...abdomen full - loops visible, soft to touch." He says that is not the picture from 6.39am.
Letby agrees that is not the same as Sophie Ellis' note.
Sophie Ellis's note for June 23 for Child O: 'Abdo looks full slightly loopy...abdo soft.'
Letby says her observation for Child P that morning was what she saw. She informed a doctor an hour later about the abdomen observation. She denies a suggestion by Mr Johnson that she is lying.

​

Letby says she escalated the observation to the shift leader.
Mr Johnson asks if Letby knew what she was telling her friend, the doctor, at this point. Letby does not recall.
The message shown to the court, sent at 8.04am: 'I've got [child] and [Child P], [Child P] has stopped feeds as large asps.'**
Mr Johnson asks why Letby is lying about having the first child, whose designated nurse was Christopher Booth. Letby says she would have to check the paperwork, as she may have been assisting.
Letby's follow-up message, at 8.19am: '...I'm ok, just don't want to be here really. Hoping I may get the new admissions...'
Mr Johnson asks why Letby didn't raise it with the doctor colleague who was coming into work.
Letby says the doctor was not present in the neonatal unit that day. He went to the children's ward.
Letby denies the observation was a 'fabrication' as Dr Anthony Ukoh saw loops as well.
She said the context of 'don't want to be here really' was what she had seen earlier with Child O.
Mr Johnson refers to Dr Ukoh's note of observation at 9.35am: 'Abdomen moderately distended/bloated; soft'. Mr Johnson says there is no mention of loopy bowels. Letby: "No."
Letby says Dr Ukoh might not have recorded it.
NJ: "Or you have misrecorded it."
LL: "No."

​

Within a few minutes of Dr Ukoh reviewing Child P, Child P collapsed.
NJ: "That has to be your doing, doesn't it?"
LL: "No."

​ Sky News:

Letby (8.04am): I've got [Child P and his triplet brother]
But data from the unit shows she was only looking after one baby - Child P.
Twenty minutes after Letby allegedly saw the "loopy bowels" she also sent the following text to her colleague.
Letby (8.19am): I'll be watching them both like a hawk. I'm ok, just don't want to be here really. Hoping I may get the new admissions.
Child P's collapse "had to be" Lucy Letby's doing, the prosecution claims.
"No," she says.
A student nurse says Letby left the nursery around this time, Mr Johnson says.
He claims she did so to distance herself from his collapse.
"Were you worried that Child P was high risk?" Mr Johnson asks.
"When I took over his care that day? Yes."
"But you left him."
"I don't agree, I've not said that I left him."

​ Chester Standard:

Mr Johnson says Rebecca Morgan's evidence was Letby had left the room at the time of collapse.
Letby says from her recollection, she was in the room, and is "quite clear" on that.
Letby's note for the desaturation: '...[Child P] had an apnoea, brady, desat with mottled appearance requiring facial oxygen and Neopuff for approx 1min. Abdomen becoming distended.'
Mr Johnson says the note is deliberately written to make it look like the Neopuffing made the abdomen become more distended.
Letby agrees.

​

Dr Ukoh, the court is told, gave evidence to say Child P was in a very different condition between 9.35am and 9.40am.
He also said Letby was "very keen" for the doctor colleague to be called. Letby says this was because he had been present for Child O's deterioration. She adds it was one of the other doctors who suggested getting that doctor.
NJ: "Were you trying to attract [the doctor's] attention?"
LL: "No."
NJ: "Did you enjoy being in these crisis situations with [the doctor]?"
LL: "No....[doctor colleague] and I were friends.
NJ: "Something to share?"
LL: "No."

​

Child P desaturated again at 11.30am. He was given adrenaline and he was paralysed with a drug to aid ventilation as he had been 'fighting the ventilator' with his breathing.
A note in Letby's handwriting is shown to the court. It details the efforts to resuscitate Child P. It was found at her home. Letby accepts she had put it there.
LL: "I collect paper and that's where it ended up...I have difficulty with throwing anything away, particularly paper.
NJ: "Is there anything comforting in keeping the paper?"
LL: "I keep paper yes, from a variety of different sources." Letby clarifies she does not include bank statements in that.
Letby was recorded by a nursing colleague as saying for Child P: "He's not leaving here alive is he?"
Letby disputes that. "I don't recall the conversation."

​

Child P's final collapse happened at 3.14pm, just after doctors had reviewed him. Letby says she cannot recall shouting for help, and cannot recall Child P's breathing tube being dislodged.
NJ: "The problem happened just after everybody left, just after you had said 'He's not leaving here alive is he?'"
LL: "I don't agree I said that.
NJ: "Is this another case of bad luck, that is happened just after everybody left?"
LL: "Yes."
NJ: "Did you enjoy making predictions when you knew what was going to happen?"
LL: "No."

​ Sky News:

Lucy Letby allegedly told her colleagues, when Child P desaturated: "He's not leaving here alive, is he?"
Staff on the unit have previously said this is not something that would have normally been said in a professional context.
At 12.28pm, Child P's oxygen levels dropped for a third time.
This was when the two on-call doctors (including the one Letby was allegedly "sweet on") had gone to the tearoom for a quick break.
Then they heard Letby calling for help.
When they returned, Letby was standing over Child P.
"I can't recall that now, but that's what they say," Letby tells the court.
"There was a problem with his breathing tube, do you remember that?" Nick Johnson KC asks.
"I don't remember that from my memory now."
The baby had been unable to move, so could not have dislodged it himself, the prosecution claims.
Letby denies she said "He's not leaving here alive, is he?"
"Whether or not you said that, this is just yet another bit of bad luck that it happened just after everyone else left?" Mr Johnson asks.
"Yes."

​ Chester Standard:

NJ: "You were very excited in the aftermath of [Child P's] death?"
LL: "No, I was not."
Mr Johnson says a female doctor colleague had said she acted 'in a totally inappropriate way'
LL: "No I didn't." She adds that was what the female doctor colleague had said.
Letby says she told colleague Sophie Ellis "out of respect" what had happened.

​ Sky News:

Nick Johnson KC, for the prosecution, says Letby's colleagues have previously said: "You were acting in a totally inappropriate way in that room."
"According to [colleague], yes."
Mr Johnson asks Letby if "you were falling over yourself to tell [colleague] about it?"
Letby says she told her colleague "out of respect" so the staff didn't "walk into the unit and find out".
But Mr Johnson says her colleague was not at work: "Why didn't you just leave her alone?"
"She was asking me," Letby says.

​ Chester Standard:

Mr Johnson said Sophie Ellis had been to the races - "why not leave her alone?". Letby said Sophie Ellis had texted her first.
Mr Johnson: "Did you enjoy the drama?"
LL: "No."
Letby's response to Sophie Ellis: 'Just blew tummy up and had apnoeas, downward spiral. Similar to [Child O] x'
Mr Johnson said the message were identical to the one for Child O.
Letby said that was what happened, his tummy blew up and he had apnoeas.
NJ: "Your portent of doom had fulfilled itself, hadn't it?"
LL: "No."
NJ: "At your hand."
LL: "No."

​

Mr Johnson clarifies from a text message sent to a doctor colleague, Letby did have two designated babies at the start of that shift, one of whom was Child P.

Child Q

He now turns to the case of Child Q.
Letby, in her defence statement, said she cannot recall much from the shift given what had happened in the previous days.
She said she did not understand why feeding was continued for Child Q when it was not being digested.
Letby said Child Q was sick and when she arrived, from the records, she aspirated 'air+++' from Child Q. She says she does not know how that air got there, and she did not cause it.
Child Q was not put on a ventilator as there were concerns over NEC.
She did not deliberately retain a handover sheet for Child Q.
Letby says she would like to amend the statement, to say she was on duty after June 25, 2016.

​

Medical expert witness Dr Dewi Evans was challenged by the defence on his use of the word 'crashed' for Child Q, saying that was a 'gross exaggeration'.
Letby says a more appropriate word for what happened to Child Q would be "deterioration".
A doctor colleague had referred to the event, in a message, as an 'acute deterioration'.
Letby said that would be accurate.
She said the difference would be a crash would require a crash call being put out.
Mr Johnson says Child Q was transferred to nursery room 1.
NJ: "He was in a serious condition after that, wasn't he?
LL: "No I disagree."
NJ: "He needed one-to-one care, didn't he?
LL: "Yes, he was assessed as ITU care."

​

The rota for June 25, 2016, at the beginning of the shift, is shown to the court.
Child Q was in room 2, designated nurse Lucy Letby. One other baby is in room 2, with a different designated nurse.
Letby was a designated nurse for a baby in room 1. Two other babies are in room 1. Three babies were in room 3 and four babies in room 4. Nurse Mary Griffith had designated babies in rooms 2, 3 and 4.
Letby rules out staffing levels or staffing mistakes or medical incompetence as contributory factors for Child Q's collapse.
Letby agrees Child Q required some breathing support at birth.
She also agrees Child Q "made good progress" after birth, according to Mr Johnson.

​

Letby says, "other than some temperature issues", the overall condition of Child Q was positive.
Child Q was looked after by Samantha O'Brien on the night of June 24-25, and Child Q was being fed 0.5ml of milk every two hours at 3am, 5am and 7am.
A blood gas reading at 6.58am was "very good", Mr Johnson says. Letby agrees.
Letby adds there had been a 'slight increase' in the lactate, and the pH reading was slightly lower, but accepts it was a good reading overall.
Letby said at the time of Child Q's handover on the morning of June 25: "There were concerns for his abdomen and his feeds." Asked who else had raised these concerns but her, Letby replies she does not know.

​

Letby had previously told her defence that, due to temperature concerns and aspirates, she wanted Child Q to be reviewed by doctors before feeding at 9am on June 25.
The neonatal schedule shows Letby made observations for the designated baby in room 1 at 8.30am. She also co-signed for medication at 8.32-8.34am for a baby in room 3.
At 9am, Mary Griffith is doing observations for a baby in room 2. An unsigned entry is made for Letby's designated baby in room 1 at this time. Also at this time, Letby is recorded doing observations for Child Q.
Letby says she does not recall doing the observations or being interrupted.
Mr Johnson says he uses the word 'interrupted' as swipe data shows Mary Griffith entering the neonatal unit at 9.01am. He suggests Letby pumped Child Q with some clear liquid while Mary Griffith was out. Letby denies this.

​ Sky News:

When her colleague left nursery two, Letby pumped Child Q with a "clear fluid", the prosecution alleges.
"That didn't happen, no," Letby says.
Nick Johnson KC says giving Child Q milk wouldn't have been an option because the infant was only being fed 0.5ml every few hours.
"If he vomited a large amount of milk it would be very obvious something was wrong," Mr Johnson says.
"Yes," says Letby.
"And that is why you chose a clear fluid on this occasion."
Letby denies this.

​ Chester Standard:

Letby is asked why she has only done 'half a job' for the 9am June 25 observation for Child Q.
LL: "I can't explain why I haven't filled the saturations."
NJ: "You were interrupted by Mary Griffith, weren't you?"
LL: "No, I don't know why those weren't filled in."

​

Letby said she left room 2 to go to room 1 as she needed to attend to cares for the other designated baby just after 9am.
Mr Johnson says that is a lie.
Letby says the baby didn't need a nappy change, but that baby "was an intensive care baby who needed regular attention".
Letby agrees she had not filled in the saturation readings, but otherwise 'the job was done' for Child Q's 9am observation.

​

Letby says she was not present in the room at the time Child Q vomited. She says she cannot recall aspirating air from the NG Tube afterwards, but may have done so.
Letby's nursing note: '...mottled++. Neopuff and suction applied....air++ aspirated from NG Tube.'
Letby says that information may have been relayed to her. She says the air in Child Q might have come from the Neopuffing process.
Letby agrees it could be dangerous if the Neopuffing and suction was done if there was clear liquid in Child Q's system. Letby said Child Q had vomited over his bedding.
Child Q, in a doctor's notes, had “just vomited” and his oxygen saturation dropped to the “low 60s”.
NJ: "There was a concern that [Child Q] had inhaled some liquid, wasn't there?"
Letby replies that is a concern any time a baby vomits.
The doctor's observations with Child Q continue for 53 minutes.
NJ: "This was no everyday, minor desaturation, was it?"
Letby replies it was not serious enough to require an emergency crash call.
NJ: "You pumped him with a clear liquid, didn't you?"
LL: "No."

​

Messages sent to a nursing colleague from 1.13pm are shown to the court: '[Child Q] on CPAP'
'Minna has taken [other baby] off me so just got him. Almost had a tube earlier but gases improving'.
Letby denies the event was 'trivial', saying Child Q had deteriorated but it was not on the same level as some of the other events that have been discussed, and did not need a crash call or resuscitation efforts.

​

Nurse Amy Davies recorded on June 25, 2016 for the night shift that Child Q had "settled".
NJ: "He became much better, hadn't he?" Letby agrees.
NJ: "A child that was put in your hands in good condition, left your hands in a ventilator in intensive care, but by this time was returning to normality."
Letby says by the night shift, Child Q was still on a ventilator and had a poor blood gas record on 6.23pm.
NJ: "You had nearly killed him, hadn't you?"
LL: "No, I hadn't nearly killed him."
Letby says she was later concerned she was being blamed for something that did not happen, by leaving the nursery room unattended.

​ Sky News:

Letby says she "walked in on a conversation" between colleagues and became "concerned I was being held responsible for something that did not happen".

​ Chester Standard

NJ: "The truth is that you pumped him [Child Q] with liquid and air?"
LL: "No."
NJ: "Because you tried to kill him?"
LL: "No, I didn't."

Court is adjourned, resumes tomorrow 10:30 am local time

TW: Death, ED, S**ual Abuse, Religion, Minor Swearing
Long Rant:
Like the title says, my (24NB) grandfather (68M) passed away suddenly on Sunday and we had the funeral today. During both the viewing (yesterday) and the funeral everyone was saying nice and meaningful things like "He was like a father to me!" And "He was a good man. He loved you." Everyone was talking about the funny stuff he did like tell stories and play pranks. There was a slideshow with a ton of pictures of him holding babies or wearing hunting geafishing. At the funeral the pastor kept referring to him as a good man who is definitely in Heaven and we should be glad he's not suffering anymore. (He was an extreme diabetic who lost half of one foot and one entire leg bc of it.) My oldest cousin is completely devastated that he's gone bc that was the closest thing he had to a dad since his was in prison for most of his life. He told me that he wants to be at least a third as good a man as my grandpa. He kept mentioning how heartbroken he was that my grandpa will never be able to meet his future kids or see him get married.
My main dilemma? This man made my childhood/life a living HELL. When I was a child my grandpa would sexualize me, my sister, and my female cousins and was racist/homophobic. He disliked my grandma and would scream at her for the tinest thing. It got worse the older they got when she couldn't fight back anymore. He hated marriage and would tell everyone that. He smacked my sister on the butt, told her multiple times about his sexual problems, made lewd comments like "Hey did you know that girls will ask doctors to pop their hymen so they can have sex sooner? Wink wink" and would try and show her videos on YouTube of sexy girls "dancing" that were between 16 and 18. Once he left his adult toys out in the open for one granddaughter to find (she was housekeeping for a bit.) She told my grandma but she wanted her to finish cleaning and ignore it but she said "no, thats too weird" and left. When she came back he told her that he didn't find my grandma sexually appealing. He also called me a whore once for wearing red lipstick at a Christmas/New Years party. I was like 15 or 16 and almost never wore makeup.
He's the main reason I developed an eating disorder. He told my mom when I was ~10 that she should force me to get weight loss surgery. Every time I would visit he would insult me and say things like "If you lose weight men will finally like you." "Jobs won't hire you if you're fat." Then he would turn around and offer you food and get angry if you said no. He would drag me away from playing with my cousins and would force me to exercise in his garage while he would tell me the same story about how his 600+ lb brother died young and that I was next. (Note:I've always been big but never that much and I don't eat much to begin with, just have a slow metabolism.) He would make fun of me when I ate at family events. One event I remember went like this: Thanksgiving points to a singular piece of pie on my plate "You know, those things have calories, right?" The only time I think he's ever said something nice to me was when I noticeably lost weight. He would compliment my aunt who got surgery and kept bringing it up when I visited.
He's the reason why nobody wanted to visit my grandma for the past 4-6+ years. He's the reason why their house was a mess bc he was so mean they couldn't keep a housekeeper when they both became housebound. (My grandma is a wheelchair user due to stroke damage and also has diabetes.) He was a hoarder and would scream if you threw stuff away or when stuff broke. I used to be so scared when I was alone with him because I hate yelling and was always afraid that he'd hurt me. As a teen I would cry when I went to bed at night after visiting almost every Sunday after church. I have entomophobia and during the summer he would purposefully find my worst trigger bug (beetles) and would put them in my hair or shove them in my face.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel. Should I be sad? Devastated? Most people assume I must have seen him as a dad figure since my real one passed when I was a kid.
Again, I don't know. All I know is that I feel sorry for the people he left behind that cared about him. I cried bc they were. Others stood next to his casket and said their goodbyes. I just stood there and gave a quick glance before walking away. Strangers kept hugging me and saying their apologies and told me to call if I needed help bc he "meant so much to me." One of my aunts even mentioned that every grandkid is getting some of his ashes so we get to keep some of him with us.
My family doesn't know most of what he did besides the stuff that happened to my sister, which was swept under the rug as a quirk he had and excused "He didn't mean it like that." 😒
For my oldest cousin he was his fishing buddy/dad figure who told funny stories. For my mom's BFF he was a good replacement dad who gave her away at her wedding. For my paternal aunt, he was like a brother. (She lost most of her siblings in childhood.) For me? He was my tormentor, my bully. I was never good enough for him. For my sister? A predator.
I do have some good memories of him but it's like they're all tainted; like a black sludge that only I can see. They put him on a pedestal, but I can see the gargoyle they placed on top.
Not really sure if there's any advice to give in this situation but please be gentle. Thank you for reading all this and hearing me out.

** Fri 6/9 *\*
Fri 4 - 7:30 PM Food Truck Friday Rio Rancho Regional Chamber of Commerce, 4201 Crestview Dr. SE, Rio Rancho We welcome attendees of all ages to gather together and enjoy great food and music
Fri 5 - 7 PM Exhibit Opening: Colors That Speak Words Indian Pueblo Cultural Center, 2401 12th St. NW Join us in celebration of the visual arts, poetry, and calligraphy. "Colors That Speak Words" is a collaborative installation between two writers and two visual artists with words, poetry, and visual arts and speaks to how this combination of mediums can be done in a cyclical way. The artists, Dr. Anthony Fleg, Mallery Quetawki (Zuni), Blythe Mariano (Diné), and Chilán Mustain, worked together to create an installation in motion, and the vision they bring to this space is from a contemporary perspective on how Native art is presented. This is an innovative view for visitors to see that Native art is changing and adjusting to the times. The artists will be present at the exhibit opening to read poetry and talk about this installation. Admission is free; please enter through South Entrance. Light refreshments will be served. This exhibit will be on display through October 15
Fri 5 - 10 PM Car Show & Concert! EXPO NM Home of the New Mexico State Fair, 300 San Pedro Dr. NE Friday night fever Vol 2! CAR SHOW & AWARDs, RAP CONCERT, VENDORS, FOOD TRUCKS, GAMES, ROCK CLIMBING WALL. All Makes and Models welcome. FREE GENERAL ADMISSION. $7 Parking, $10 Car Show judging and awards (only if you want to register and compete) Event brought to you by Expo NM and Desert Sun Event Productions. Car show brought to you by Sins events and NM Lowrider Arte
Fri 6 PM Rugby is a Drag (Show)! Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Get out your dancing cleats and trade in that eye black for eye liner! The very popular Rugby is a Drag (show!) and fundraiser, normally held earlier in the year, has moved to June 9th and Pride weekend in 2023! This year's event will be hosted by Miss Sidewinders 2023 Seliah Deleon and Le Femme Magnifique 2017 and fellow rugger SCRUMtious Cox! This year's show is returning to Sidewinders and, as in year's past, will benefit our friends at Casa Q, which provides safe living for LGBTQ+ youth through housing, services and advocacy. This year's event will also feature participation from members of Elevated Roller Derby, NM United and more! (tickets)
Fri 7 PM Movies in the Park - Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Athena Park, 778 Athena Ave, Bernalillo MOVIES IN THE PARK is back this SUMMER! We will feature a different movie at our local parks every FRIDAY night in June. Movies will begin at sundown and we will serve popcorn for free! Bring your lawn chairs, blankets, and beverages. All movies are FREE! In the case of inclement weather, movies will be cancelled
Fri 8 PM - 12 AM Pride Dance Party 505 Spirits, 105 Harvard Dr. SE DANCE WITH US TO CELEBRATE PRIDE UNDER THE STARS @ PRIDE ON THE PATIO! DJ Baby D & DJ Rebel (Rori the Rebel) will drop your favorite hits - Get your dance on and show of your Pride with your best Pride outfit &/or Pride colors! Try our special cocktail: Prickly Pear Pride Punch, plus other great drinks and delicious food! Come early for dinner before you dance, daNCE, DANCE!!! Delicious Value Menu Items: $2.95 - NEW Sliders! (beef & veg) $1.95 - local blue corn dog pops (minis) $5.95 waffle fries & full sized blue corn dogs (veg or beef) Plus our flaky meat & veg hand pies, chunky chicken salad, mushroom pate & more! 21 & over Free Entry!
Fri 9 PM Albuquerque Pride Afterparty Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE Starring Headliner: Malaysia Babydoll Foxx, DJ: Justin Cristofer, HOST: Vanessa Patricks, MEET THE QUEENS! Avery Martini, Imani Martini, Nova Martini, Kardio Karbdashian, Divyne Intervention. Private Early Entrance Meet N Greet begins at 8:15 p.m. entrance with Meet N Greet starting 8:30 p.m. Champagne Provided (tickets)
Fri 9 PM Fierce Pride: Kandy Muse Effex, 420 Central Ave SW Special guest from RPDR All Stars S13 and AS8, LA, CA, Meet and Greet 10:30 PM, doors 9p, show 11:30p Lounge: DJ Chris de Jesus Patio: DJ Aquattro Side Effex: DJ Mitch
Fri 9:30 PM Salsa under the Stars After Party JUNO, 1501 1st St. NW DJ Pedro, one of Albuquerque’s most loved DJ’s (DJ Pedro, DJ Tony, SoloVino, DJ Louie, DJ Darly + Eli Mix) mixing your favorite dance mix of Salsa, Bachata, Merengue and more! This is one of Albuquerque’s favorite after party summer outdoor events and will begin June 9th following the opening of Son Como Son kicking off the Salsa under the Stars at the Albuquerque Museum followed by the after party at Juno. Free entry to Juno with your stamp from the museum
Fri 10:30 PM Twilight Zone: The Movie - 40th Anniversary Screening! One Night Only! The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE Check out the trailer. Dir. Joe Dante, Steven Spielberg, John Landis & George Miller - 1983 - 102m - NO MATINEES. DOOR PRIZES COURTESY OF BUBONICON 54! Based on the popular television series, this film is a collection of four frightening tales of the supernatural, each by a different director--Joe Dante, Steven Spielberg, John Landis, and George Miller! The film opens with Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks as two hapless road-trippers who tell scary stories to pass the time. The four segments that follow include some updated re-creations of classic Twilight Zone episodes. In the first, racist Bill Connor (Vic Morrow) is transformed into a Jew in World War II. Next, Mr. Bloom (Scatman Crothers) comes to a retirement home to teach the residents that they are only as young as they feel. In the third, teacher Helen Foley (Kathleen Quinlan) meets Antony (Jeremy Licht), a boy who is not what he seems. In the final segment, panicky plane passenger John Valentine (John Lithgow) sees gremlins attacking his flight
** Sat 6/10 *\*
Sat 8 AM - 2 PM NMHRS Garage Sale 7903 Robin Ave NE Hosted by the New Mexico House Rabbit Society. All sales go into our vet fund so that we can continue to provide medical care to rabbits in need. This is a multi-family garage sale so there will be lots to browse through
Sat 8 AM - 10 PM All The Things: Craft Cocktail & Mixer Launch Tractor Brewing Company, 118 Tulane Dr. SE The next evolution in the craft cocktail experience is here and officially launch in Nob Hill for Pride! What is All The Things? Well, let me tell you. Imagine 100% fresh cold pressed juice, pure cane sugar, and Troubled Minds spirits all in one 1L bottle ready to pour over ice! That's right you can purchase these ready made bottle cocktails now at ANY of our locations! We have: Margarita with Tequila, Paloma with Tequila, Kentucky Mule with Bourbon, Ginger Lemonade with Vodka, Limeade with Vodka & Bloody Mary with Vodka! Grab you one to go for $16! We will be using mixers of these behind our bars so you can get a first hand taste! And offering non alcoholic lavender, ginger, and classic lemonades for you to sip on! These truly are All The Things in one bottle!
Sat 9 AM - 12 PM Family, Fit, Fun Fest Tiguex Park, 1800 Mountain Rd. NW Join us for the Girl Scouts of New Mexico Trails 2nd annual Family, Fit, Fun Fest. Bring your whole family to this free, all-ages event to learn about keeping fit and healthy - mentally, physically, and emotionally. Learn new skills and discover ways to keep your mind and body healthy and active, as you visit interactive booths led by community partners. Booths will include hands-on activities like games, puzzles, and brain teasers, as well as interactive lessons in martial arts, dance, mindfulness, and more. Booths will also include information on youth classes, clubs, and teams, as well as opportunities to meet local healthcare providers and learn more about mental health, nutrition, eye care, and dental care for your whole family. Climb to the top of a rock wall, make your way through an obstacle course, try the football toss or the baseball toss, shoot a hockey puck, or score a goal at interactive stations around the event! Meet and take photos with local sports teams and/or mascots and stop by Menchie's Froyo Mobile for a sweet treat. Girl Scout Members can participate in a special event scavenger hunt when they pre-purchase the 2023 GSNMT Family, Fit, Fun Fest patch
Sat 10 AM SOCH PRIDE '23 Albuquerque Social Club, 4021 Central Ave NE Come show your PRIDE at the ONLY place to be SOCHial! We are taking over the parking lot for a FREE ALL AGES event. We have multile bands, musicians and perfromers ready to give a PRIDE you wont forget. Food Truck, Vendors, Face Painting, Car Show, Games, Country Dancing and many other fun events!
Sat 10 - 11 AM Yoga with Kelsi Poulin Marketplace mezzanine, 8600 Pan American Fwy NE Enjoy guided yoga, from local yoga instructor, Kelsi! This will be a fun flow for all levels of yoga practice. $10 per person
Sat 10 AM - 12 PM Play Day For A Cause Kiddie Academy of Paradise Hills, 4590 Paradise Blvd. NW Join us for Play Day for a Cause! This free event has great games and fun activities for your kids while supporting Family Promise, the leading national nonprofit addressing family homelessness. Family Promise started in 1986 as local outreach in a single community and now has more than 200 Affiliates in 43 states. Since their founding, volunteers have helped more than a million family members in need. With a focus on empowering families and children, Kiddie Academy Educational Child Care and Family Promise are working together to give every child what they deserve: a chance to succeed. The event is free and open to the public. Donations are appreciated, but not required to attend
Sat 10 AM - 4 PM Foundational Wellness Grand Opening Party Los Ranchos Bakery, 6920 4th St. NW, Los Ranchos Celebrate our grand opening event by stopping by the B Side of Los Ranchos Bakery! Herbal tea blends, door prizes, free raffle, information on classes and events, and more! Win a free reiki session, teas, discounts on classes, or discounts on nutritional therapy! I will be teaching numerous classes at the bakery this summer. Some topics: How to make Herbal Vinegar Tinctures (aceta), Hormone Health, Healthy Habits for Life, Improve Your Digestion, Prioritizing Meal Prep, Blood Sugar Regulation, and my RESTART Program! You don’t want to miss out! Some of these classes will be free! So come on down and get some coffee and goodies from the bakery, then visit me next door and see what we’ve been up to
Sat 10 AM - 5 PM Pride Day Celebration! Quirky Used Books and More, 120 Jefferson NE Book sales, vendor pop ups, food truck, art, music, and more!
Sat 10:30 AM - 12 PM Wellness Schedule Casa Rondeña Winery, 733 Chavez Rd. NW, Los Ranchos Open to people of all skill levels, Wellness + Wine is a one-hour, outdoor practice, followed by a glass of wine or Sangria, and an invitation to stay and relax on the grounds of the beautiful Casa Rondeña Winery. This experience is $25, and includes glass of wine. Discounts apply for winery members. Reservations are required to participate
Sat 11 AM - 4 PM Papa Bear Market Boxing Bear Brewing, 10200 Corrales Rd. NW We couldn’t forget about our PAPA BEARS! Dads deserve some love and appreciation too! Spend the day celebrating Papa at our taproom. As always this FREE event will include local vendors, food trucks, photo booth, live music, paint your own pint, and, of course, BEER! (click link for full list of vendors)
Sat 11 AM - 5 PM June Used Book Sale Main Library, 501 Copper Ave NW Join us for the monthly book sale. There will be a variety of fiction, non-fiction, children and adults books, videos, DVDs, CDs, comic books, maps, and more available. Free for Members - $2 for Non-Members Free to all after noon. All Sales are held in the Lower Level, Main Library, Validated parking is available on 5th and Copper, kitty-corner to the library. The Friends of the Public Library is a non-profit organization. All proceeds go to supporting the Public Library of Albuquerque & Bernalillo County library programs
Sat 12 - 5 PM Summer Luau - Adoptables, Swag, Brews, and more! Lizard Tail Brewing Industrial, 3351 Columbia Dr. NE Hosted by Pitties and Kitties of New Mexico. We will have some PKR Tees, some PKR Pride gear, and best of all - our adoptabulls! Our booth will have a small auction set up… the prize being Tattoo Certificates with an ABQ tattoo artist! There will be a car show, other vendors, as well as water activities. Hope to see y’all there!
Sat 1 - 3 PM Family Field Day! Montgomery Park, Hosted by ABQ Family Chiropractic. A celebration of all the families who trust us with their care, and an opportunity for families who are considering our office to get to know our team in a fun, low-stakes environment. Food and family-friendly activities will be provided
Sat 1 - 4 PM Zouk with Jaime Arôxa! Alley Kats Tap Company, 222 Truman St. NE We will continue building on, and reviewing everything we have learned with Jamie Arôxa and Kiri Chapman thus far. We will continue to work on Zouk basics and building on the basics including connection and timing, musicality, lateral with variations, Yo-yo, viradinha, cambre, body, rolls, body, isolations, weight transfers, counterbalance, elástico, convergence & divergence, Wi-Fi, head, movement, styling, head movement, varying turns, and Chicote. Classes will be progressive and will be adjusted to the level of each class. Drop in anytime * All levels welcome * No partner needed * Cash preferred - can also accept Venmo and Cash App to $UWDstudios
Sat 1:30 - 4 PM Father's Day Tee Cabezon Park, 2307 Cabezon Blvd. SE, Rio Rancho Celebrate Father's Day with a round of miniature golf or two! Tee-off with dad at our Annual Father's Day "Tee". Enjoy some snacks, and an Arnold Palmer while making a craft with dad. Prizes awarded for the top 3 teams in miniature golf! Each child and parent must register individually. NO DROP-INS. Please contact the Cabezon Community Center at 505-892-4499 for more info
Sat 4 - 5 PM East Coast Swing Group Class Enchantment Dancing, 337 San Pedro Dr. NE Welcome to our Bronze American East Coast Swing Class! Whether you are a newbie stepping on to the dance floor for the first time or a seasoned professional wanting to brush up on basics, as well as anyone in-between, this class is for you! East Coast Swing is an exciting, up-beat dance that is endlessly versatile! No partner necessary, and dropping in is fine! Class cost is only $10, and a punch card for 6 classes is $50
Sat 6 - 10 PM Baddie Fest OT Circus, 709 Central Ave NW let's all have a fun summer night. Fairy Julz (crystals and more to raise your energy) will be at @ otcircus. Market, Music, Dance Performers, Crystal Pop Up Booth, Henna, Woman Vendors. Tag and invite your favorite baddies
Sat 6 - 11 PM Heights Summerfest North Domingo Baca Park, Celebrate warm weather and outdoor fun at a free community gathering during an Albuquerque Summerfest. This free concert series features local businesses with handcrafted products in The Shops, food trucks with freshly made cuisine in the Food Court, libations created by breweries, wineries and distilleries in The Cantina, entertainment by local talent, and a production by a national headliner all at a City park (click here for more info: live music, food trucks, kids' activities, drinks, vendors, parking)
Sat 7 PM Dancing Queens Sunshine Theater, 120 Central Ave SW Throw out your calendar! Buy a new calendar! Mark June 10th as the first and ONLY date in your calendar! Pride weekend, all the dancing queens are descending on the Sunshine Theater for the night of all nights. Juicee Früt presents Dancing Queens! Featuring performances by Red Light Cameras, ABBAquerque, Galaxy, Juicee Früt, Drag Performances from CoCo Caliente & Mr. Rusty Nutz, Forbidden Früt Market, & more! (tickets)
Sat 7 PM Death On The Beach: A Metalcore Beach Party Launchpad, 618 Central Ave SW Join us for a night filled with beach-going shenanigans and some of the best metalcore bands Albuquerque has to offer. Swimwear, flip flops, sunscreen and lais ENCOURAGED! Come out and rage with us, and let's make this a night to remember! Presale tickets are $10 and are available through any band. Just send them a message! Online tickets through Holdmyticket will be available soon. Inhuman Hands, EYE, Secure The Void, One Last Summer
Sat 9 PM Temple of Sound Presents Starry Night Juno, 1501 1st St. NW This event will feature our guest DJ Chris Losack! He's a longtime DJ who primarily spins house and techno but also has roots in industrial and dark music. He will be showing his dark side this time out! Join us for another spectacular event! Sparkly or night sky attire encouraged but not required! 21+ / No cover
Sat 9 PM Pride 2023 Effex, 420 Central Ave SW Spunjy Hicks Lounge: Malik Patio: DJ Chris de Jesus Side Effex: Xblyssid
Sat 10:30 PM Late Nite Comedy Jam The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE Ristra Comedy and Chuck Parker Comedy present a stellar lineup of standup comedians! This month's headliner: Josh Fournier Featuring Chuck Parker & Sara Anne Myers and your host Alex Benton
** Sun 6/11 *\*
Sun 8 AM - 2 PM Hot Rods for Hunger Car Show and Poker Run 2801 Eubank Blvd NE Yes, our amazing car show fundraiser is happening again, thanks to Bell’s Brewery and the Mopar Most Wanted car club. This year, for early registration, we are having a Kickstart happy hour with Bells Brewery at O’Niell’s Heights location on Juan Tabo. Join us and register your car. All makes and models are welcome. Come out and see some of the coolest cars in Albuquerque. There will be raffles, food trucks, lots of awards for the cars, and a food drive for the Storehouse food pantry. Enter the Poker Run, the Car Show, or both today!
Sun 10 AM Rocketman Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE THE HISTORIC LOBO THEATER along with Albuquerque Film & Music Experience is excited to bring Rocketman to the big screen! Showing Starts at 11:30 am Tickets are ONLY $10 for General Admission Come Early Brunch Starts at 10 am Full Buffet Available for only $21 The ticket price is for entry to the movie only. Pajama brunch and a movie. Exclusive Brunch Menu! Made to order pancakes, mimosas and more. 10% off if you come in your pajamas
Sun 10 AM - 2 PM STEAM DAY Rail Yards Market, 777 1st St. SW Science, Technology, Engineering, Art, and Math (STEAM) all put New Mexico on the Map as a unique place. Standing for over one hundred years, the historic Rail Yards of Albuquerque stand as an ode to a period of extreme innovation for the Rio Grande basin area. Albuquerque literally rose and became what it is around the Rail Yards, and railroad era that brought so much innovation. In these industrial cathedrals, we hum with innovation again.. Activating the space for community use, the Rail Yards Market is non-profit (certified 501c3), bringing together small businesses in agriculture, food, and artisan manufacturing on a local scale. Our STEAM stands for Sustainable, Traditional, Educational and Artistic Modalities. In this area we host interactive demonstrations. Mini-Makers Unite! Learn about what makes a laser light up, a 3D printer build, and so much more! Bring out your tech, geek, and inquisitive minds to the Rail Yards Market and visit makers from Quelab. Free for all! Everyone is welcome! EBT doubled with Double-Up-Food-Bucks, ADA Accessible, Senior and WIC programs welcome, Fresh & local produce, Breakfast & lunch prepared food options, 120+ local food, healing, and art businesses, Parking & restrooms, FREE :: LOCAL :: FAMILY FRIENDLY :: PET FRIENDLY
Sun 10:30 - 11:30 AM Mindful Movement - Yoga in the Park Academy Hills Park, 9709 Layton Ave NE Meet us on the southwest side of the park, just southwest of the playground, under the large trees. Looks for the Aumies sign! Bring your mat, block, strap and water!
Sun 2 - 4 PM Lumberyard Jazz Trio Sawmill Market, 1909 Bellamah Ave NW The Lumberyard Jazz Trio is back to bring exciting jazz melodies to Sawmill Market. They use an interchanging group of New Mexican instrumentalists who have traveled nationwide to perform, lead by saxophonist Sean Johnson
Sun 3 PM Pride Tea Dance on the Patio Effex, 420 Central Ave SW 3 - 6 PM: DJ Mike Demarco 6 - 9 PM: DJ Spunjy Hicks Featuring performances by Avery Martini, Jessica K. Daniels, Imani Martini
Sun 4 - 7 PM Music on the Patio: Squash Blossom Boys Canteen Brewhouse, 2381 Aztec Rd NE Based in Albuquerque, The Squash Blossom Boys have played southwestern stages for over ten years. With beginnings as a garage band, they have explored a variety of musical genres including rock, jazz, reggae and more to find the hard driving, high lonesome sound of Bluegrass music. The current central players include Dustin Orbesen (Dobro, Mandolin, Vocals), Kit Murray (Banjo, Vocals), Kyle Malone (Guitar), Peter Lisignoli (Bass)
Sun 5 - 8 PM Mack 'n Cheese Sunday Variety Show Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Variety show with Mack 'n Cheese (Indy Hip Hop), Cali Shaw (Americana), Basilaris Trio (Jazz), Sol de la Noche, Melissa Prada (spoken word) Monthly variety show with Mack 'n Cheese (Indy Hip Hop), Cali Shaw (Americana), Basilaris Trio (Jazz), Sol de la Noche, Melissa Prada (spoken word), vendors. Family-friendly (if your kids already know the F-word). Food available for purchase. On the patio, weather permitting, or in the Gallery
Sun 7 - 10 PM S.O.S - Salsa On Sunday Dance Social 505 Spirits, 105 Harvard Dr. SE Salsa On Sunday Dance Social *With guest DJ's *Latin Dance Performances *The Occasional LIVE Music Performance *And Always... Social Dancing! salsa timba bachata merengue *What is it about a Social* The essence of a Social is for the dance community to get together and dance. Socials offer a relaxed night of dancing. Socials continue to draw dance enthusiasts who get lost in their salsa “addiction” by dancing and enjoying the music. Socials offer something for every level of dancer at any age. Bands and DJs have more freedom to play sets which appeal to the dance-centric crowd. It's about the music. It's about the dance. If you want to have an alternative to the club, are underage, or simply want to get in some good dancing - check out a Social, you might be surprised at how much fun you have
Sun 7:30 PM Brit Floyd Revel ABQ, 4720 Alexander Blvd. NE Brit Floyd returns to the stage in 2023 to perform a brand-new production celebrating 50 years of the ground-breaking and iconic musical masterpiece The Dark Side of the Moon. The show will feature classic tracks from the album such as Time, Money, Us and Them and The Great Gig in the Sky. The 2 and a half hours plus set list will also include other highlights from Pink Floyd’s magnificent catalogue of albums, including tracks from The Wall, Wish You Were Here, Animals, The Division Bell, Medal and much more (tickets)

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Friday, May 28, 2010

• Adnan could have filed for post conviction relief at any time during these past seven years, and did not have to wait ten years. Rabia lied about that.
  
• According to Rabia, Justin Brown has decided not to subpoena Asia, given her reaction when approached by the PI.
  
• Attoney Justin Brown files for Post Conviction Relief citing "Ineffective Assistance of Counsel" aka "IAC." This filing contains the first appearance of Asia's letters in the record.
  
• Syed asks for new trial, claiming trial counsel (Gutierrez), and appellate counsel (Warren Brown) were ineffective:
  
  • 1) Gutierrez failed to establish a timeline disproving State's case
  • 2) Gutierrez failed to investigate alibi witness (Asia)
  • 3) Gutierrez failed to move for new trial based on Asia's statements
  • 4) Gutierrez failed to cross-examine Debbie
  • 5) Gutierrez failed to pursue a plea offer
  • 6) Gutierrez failed to request a change of venue
  • 7) Gutierrez failed to investigate Jay
  • 8) In Adnan's appeal brief, Warren Brown failed to include the fact that Waranowitz strayed from his area of expertise, at trial.
  • 9) Cumulative Ineffective Assistance of counsel.
  • [Four years later, on October 18, and November 18, 2014, Rabia lied to the readers of her blog, writing that Adnan was forced to wait ten years to file for post conviction relief. The truth is the defendant has ten years from the date of conviction to file, but cannot file AFTER 10 years. In her book, Rabia wrote that she and Adnan knew all along that Adnan could file for post conviction relief the day after his appeal was denied in 2003]
  • [Rabia also lies about how a 2013 google search led her to Sarah Koenig's coverage of Gutierrez' disbarment. Adnan's May 2010 filing for post conviction relief discusses Sarah Koenig's reporting. This is how Rabia would have become aware of Koenig.]

Sunday, June 27, 2010

• Adnan has been at Cumberland / Supermax for one year.

June 27, 2010

• Justin Brown files a Supplement to Adnan's May 28, 2010 Petition for Post Conviction Relief. Cites a 10th point for PCR.
  
  • 10) Sentencing counsel, Charles Dorsey, failed to request that the motion for sentence modification be held in abeyance.

  After Syed fired Gutierrez, he was represented by a public defender, Charles Dorsey. Mr. Dorsey filed a Motion for Modification of Sentence. Mr. Syed had just received a sentence of life plus 30 years. Rather than ask the Court to hold that motion in advance and raise it after, up to ten years, which is the common practice when a defendant receives a very long sentence, Mr. Dorsey didn't do that. The court ended up ruling on the Motion for Modification a couple of days after it was filed. And, of course, the motion was denied. So that's our third, ineffective assistance of counsel claim. That he should have handled that differently. - The supplement also included further points Justin Brown wanted to make about Gutierrez's failure to ask for a pleas deal.
  

No copies of this supplement exist on the internet.
July 27, 2010

• State of Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services announces that Fewer Cell Phones Finding Their Way into State Prisons

Summer 2010

• According to transcripts, Justin Brown attempts to subpoena Asia. (This could be the reason for one of the postponements.)

Friday, October 15, 2010

• Hae Min Lee 30th birthday

November 29, 2010

• Motions Hearing. The State Requests the defense file. Transcript Excerpt.

Friday, December 20, 2010

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. First postponement.

February 28, 2011

• Adnan has been in jail/prison for twelve years.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

• Adnan's 30th Birthday

June, 2011

• Dale Sides's blog

Thursday, June 9, 2011

• Adnan receives Certificate of Achievement at North Branch Correctional.
  
• Adnan has been at Cumberland / Supermax for two years.
  

Monday, August 8, 2011

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. Second postponement.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

• Adnan moves to disqualify Kathleen Murphy as counsel for the state.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

• Hae Min Lee 31st birthday

Thursday, October 20, 2011

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. Third postponement.

November 27, 2011

• Thiru Vignarajah joins Baltimore City State's Attorney's Office

January, 2012

• Rabia founds the "Safe Nation Collaborative." Unfortunately, law enforcement has never heard of it.

Monday, February 6, 2012

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. Fourth postponement.
  
• Adnan's motion to disqualify Kathleen Murphy is denied.
  
• Murphy says she first spoke to Urick about testifying at the PCR in February 2012
  

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. Fifth postponement.

February 28, 2012

• Adnan has been in jail/prison for thirteen years.

March 21, 2012

• Supreme Court Decisions [Lafler & Frye] re; Defense Attorney's obligation to seek plea deal

Monday, May 21, 2012

• Adnan's 31st Birthday

Friday, June 15, 2012

• Michael Sye named coordinator of athletics for the Baltimore County Public Schools, the top job in running one of the nation's biggest scholastic sports programs. He oversees competitive athletics for 24 high schools.
  
• Adnan has been at Cumberland / Supermax for three years.
  

July 13, 2012

• Adnan writes Justin Brown, asking for postponement of October court dates, due to a foot injury. No mention of July and August court dates.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. Sixth postponement.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. Seventh postponement.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

• Transcripts: for Evidentiary Hearing in Post-Conviction Appeal.
  
  • (Shamim's and Rabia's testimony filed and paid for by stop_saying_right after Rabia refused to upload anything but Urick's testimony.)
• Justin Brown opens. He will focus on (3) issues.
  
  • Gutierrez's failure to investigate Asia.
  • Gutierrez's failure to pursue a plea offer.
  • Dorsey's failure to request that the motion for sentence modification be held in abeyance.
• Kevin Urick testifies:
  
  • Gutierrez never approached him seeking a plea bargain. If he had been approached, there would have been a possibility of a negotiated disposition.
  • Asia called him because she was afraid of being forced to testify. She had already made up her mind not to testify when she called Urick. And only called him looking for a way to get out of it.
• Shamim Rahman testifies: Posted and discussed on reddit thanks to SSR.
  
• Rabia Chaudry testifies: Posted and discussed on reddit thanks to SSR.
  

Monday, October 15, 2012

• Hae Min Lee 32nd birthday

Thursday, October 25, 2012

• Transcripts: for Evidentiary Hearing in Post-Conviction Appeal.
  
  • (Adnan and Meady's testimony filed and paid for by stop_saying_right after Rabia refused to upload anything but Urick's testimony.)
• Adnan Syed testifies. Posted and discussed on reddit thanks for SSR.
  
  • Adnan testifies that he told Dorsey about Asia, but there is no mention of Asia's letters, or giving Dorsey Asia's letters.
• Margaret Meady testifies
  
• Justin Brown fails to call Andrew Davis, the Private Investigator hired by Flohr and Colbert to investigate the library/track alibi.
  

February 28, 2013

• Adnan has been in jail/prison for fourteen years.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

• Adnan's 32nd Birthday

June 11, 2013

• Adnan's Cumberland Evaluation
  
• Adnan has been at Cumberland / Supermax for four years.
  

August, 2013

• It has been ten months since the October 2012 Hearing for Post Conviction Relief.
  
• Rabia says she watched the documentary "West of Memphis," looked up reporters who covered Gutierrez's disbarment, and found Sarah Koenig. Rabia hoped that media attention could influence Welch's pending decision, ten months after the hearing.
  
  • Rabia is lying when she talks about this 2013 google search that led her to Sarah Koenig's coverage of Gutierrez' disbarment for the Baltimore Sun. The truth is that Adnan's May 2010 filing for post conviction relief discusses Sarah Koenig and the coverage in the Baltimore Sun. This is how Rabia would have become aware of Koneig. Not via an August 2013 random google search, after watching West of Memphis.

August 12, 2013

• Rabia sends a letter to Sarah Koenig, asking her to take a look at the case. Rabia claims the police and prosecutors knew Adnan was innocent, and Gutierrez threw the case for money. Note here that leading up to Serial, Rabia was convinced that Jay did it, and would have pitched the story, with the carrot of exposing Jay.

August 29, 2013

• Rabia hastily sets up an LLC in Maryland, even though she is not licensed to practice law there.
  
• In anticipation of meeting with Sarah Koenig, Rabia sets up an office at Security Plaza, across the street from Woodlawn High School.
  
• Rabia wants Sarah to think this has always been her office, and that this is where she works. The truth is Rabia lives and works in DC.
  

August 30, 2013

• Approximate: In her "office" across the street from WHS, Rabia meets with Sarah Koenig, leading Koenig to believe Rabia has had this office for a while. Note here that Jay being the killer would have been part of this conversation.
  
• Undated: Rabia tells Sarah Koenig that Gutierrez threw the case on purpose, to get more money for the appeal - Despite Gutierrez having suggested that another attorney handle the appeal.
  

Late September, 2013

• Adnan receives a letter from Justin Brown saying that a reporter named Sarah Koenig wanted to do an interview. Justin wrote that he didn't think Sarah would waste time on a story if she didn't believe Adnan was innocent. Adnan receives the first letter from Sarah Koenig, a few days later.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

• By now, Adnan has received an introductory letter from Sarah Koenig. She sent him a pad and pencil and stamps. Adnan writes Sarah Koenig a letter about his story and case. Discussion.
  
  • Adnan says he wasn't much bigger than Hae.
  • Adnan says that students weren't allowed to use the top parking lot. (several WHSers and Krista have said that students used the top parking lot.)
  • Adnan describes the route to the Best Buy but neglects to mention the back way.
  • Adnan implies that the October 31 break up was the final break up.
  • Adnan says that he and Hae would joke about two women calling him on his cell phone at the same time. (Only we know that Adnan's first, ever cell phone was activated the evening of January 12, and there are no calls on the call log that support this story.)

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

• Hae Min Lee 33rd birthday

November, 2013

• Sarah Koenig meets with Chris Flohr to try to get some sense of Adnan's innocence. She tells Flohr that she won't do the story unless Adnan is innocent. Jay as the killer is context for Koenig's work on Serial.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

• Justin Brown talks about the importance of the defense investigator, despite having failed to call the defense investigator at Adnan's PCR hearing.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

• Adnan receives a reply letter from Sarah Koenig and puts her on his visitor list. Sarah has decided to report on the story.

Monday, November 25, 2013

• Adnan writes Sarah Koenig to thank her for her letter and let her know she is on his visitor list.
  
  • Adnan tells Koenig that no one but him (and the person who did it) will ever know if he did it or not. Adnan forgetting that Jay also knows the truth.
  • Adnan writes: Looking back, I always knew that Jay was jealous of my relationship with Stephanie. Stephanie had told me she was going to break up with Jay when she went off to college. Jay asked me if I knew about it. I told him that I did, and he wasn't too happy about that.
  • But on January 5, 2000, Adnan had said: Stepanie was so devoted to Jay that she talked about not going to college and possibly staying with Jay and renting an apartment.
  • Breakdown of lies in this letter that Koenig could have questioned, and/or featured in Serial.

Monday, December 30, 2013

• Post Conviction Decision written by Justice Martin P. Welch.

January 2, 2014

• Andrew Davis in a single car accident, that proves fatal.

Tuesday, January 6, 2014

• Post Conviction relief denied by Justice Martin P. Welch.

Mid January, 2014

• Koenig says that her first conversation with Adnan took place right after he received Welch's decision. Link to excerpt from first recorded interview
  
• Asia returns Sarah Koenig's call. Asia tells Sarah that when she was approached by the Defense PI, she "freaked out" and called Urick, who told her Adnan was guilty, so she dodged the attempt to produce her at the PCR.
  
• Bilal is notified of disciplinary action regarding his dental license, citing un-necessary treatments and overcharging on multiple occasions in 2010, 2011, 2012, and 2013.
  

Monday, January 27, 2014

• Defense files ALA (Applicaton for Leave to Appeal). Adnan's attorneys have to ask for permission to appeal Welch's decision, as there is no guaranteed right to appeal. Defense requests review of two issues:
  
  • 1) Whether Gutierrez was ineffective because she didn't contact/interview Asia
  • 2) Whether Gutierrez was ineffective for failing to pursue a plea deal, and telling Adnan she had.

Monday, February 17, 2014

• Adnan Defense Team PI Andrew Davis passes away. He was never asked about Asia or anything about the defense's pre-trial investigation. Drew Davis Photo Album

Late February, 2014

• Sarah has met with Deirdre Enright who has agreed to work on Adnan's case.
  
  • Two UVA law school clinics begin work on Adnan's case.
  • Rabia says that Sarah reached out to Dierdre on her own. But it's clear that Adnan told Sarah about the Justin Wolfe case and subsequently, Deirdre Enright.
  • DNA issue important to law student, Mario

February 28, 2014

• Adnan has been in jail/prison for fifteen years.

Late February/March 2014

• Justin George of the Baltimore Sun begins helping Sarah Koenig, at Rabia's urging. Rabia wanted a local reporter on the story, too.

Spring, 2014

• Approximate: Sarah emails Young Lee
  
• Approximate: Sarah interviews one of the prosecuting attorneys, Kathleen Murphy, for two hours
  
• Sarah and Dana Chivas visit Woodlawn, and surrounding areas:
  
  • Krista shows them her scrapbook, lets them read Adnan's letters, and see her photos of Hae.
  • Sarah and Dana Chivas do the drive test that Adnan asked Sarah to do. Rabia asks to go along. Sarah says no.
  • Sarah shows Rabia the Enehey Report from the MPIA file. Rabia had never seen it. Sarah has redacted the name of the author of the report. She has promised the author she wouldn't reveal her name. Later, Rabia would post the report on her blog, and tell the world the name of the woman who wrote the report.
  • Rabia says in her book that this report explained why the detectives focused in on Adnan. She leaves out that the report was not written until Adnan had been in jail for six months.
  • Rabia dates the report as August 24, 1999, without mentioning that by then, Adnan had been arrested, indicted, and awaiting trial for months. (Later, Rabia would say that Justin Brown had a copy of the report in the police file, but never showed it to her.
• Adnan sends Sarah Koenig two "Price of Tea" charts, and asks her to hold them until the next time they speak. In October, of 2014, Koenig wrote about the subsequent conversation here.
  
  • C-Mart Chart 7-11 Chart

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

• Adnan's 33rd Birthday
  
• Bilal sexually assaults patients.
  

May 31, 2014

• Adnan's Cumberland Evaluation

June 4, 2014

• Adnan has been at Cumberland / Supermax for five years: Prison Evaluation

July 25, 2014

• Original SERIAL podcast air date

Thursday, August 7, 2014

• Sarah and Julie fly to California, two weeks after the original air date for the podcast. Jay wouldn't talk to them on the phone, so they delayed the podcast, and flew to California to blind-side Jay.

Friday, August 8, 2014

• Sarah and Julie arrive at Jay's house. No one is home. They go away, then come back, for the second time, to walk across his lawn, unannounced.
  
  • Jay said this upset his children.
  • During the conversation, Jay refers to himself as a "scoundrel with scruples." Jay wisely doesn't see any upside to letting them record an interview.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

• Sarah Koenig emails Jay, apologizes for blind-siding him and causing upheaval, suggests they have a drink or coffee, and refers to the project she's working on as a documentary, not a podcast. Sarah tells Jay that the upside to doing a taped interview is that he can tell his version. Her message: "I'm going to do a story and talk about you, whether you like it or not."

August 2014

• Adnan completes Home Study Programs > 8/22: Substance Abuse 8/22: Anger Management 8/25: Offender Corrections 8/29: Contentious Relationships

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

• Maryland Court of Special Appeals orders the State of Maryland to file a response to the defense's January 27, 2014 "ALA" (Application for Leave to Appeal). Court asks for State's response to the defense's assertion that Adnan asked for a plea, and Gutierrez failed to seek one. Court sets deadline of November 14, 2014 for State's response

September 2014

• Adnan completes Home Study Programs > 9/8: Parenting 9/8: Cognitive Awareness 9/12: Theft & Shoplifting 9/12: Domestic Violence 9/12: DUI 9/12: Employment 9/22: Offender Responsibility

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

• Sarah writes to Rabia that the story will be presented in podcast form, over 12 episodes.

Friday, October 3, 2014

• Serial Episode 1 and 2:
  
  • "The Alibi" Transcript
  • "The Breakup" Transcript

Saturday, October 4. 2014

• /serialpodcast is created - [will update link soon]

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

• Rabia's first blog post on Serial; undermining Koenig. Jakeprops says its must-read
  
  • Rabia lies to her readers, writing that Adnan had no choice but to wait for ten years to file for Post Conviction Relief.
  • The truth is that the defendant can file any time during those ten years, but not after ten years has lapsed.
  • The truth is that in a 2004 letter to Rabia, Adnan articulated his strategy to wait out the years, until the deadline was upon them, and then file for PCR.
• Rabia begins to advertise her version of the story on reddit - [will update link soon]
  

Saturday, October 11, 2014

• Baltimore Sun: Relatives of Convicted Killer Suffer in Silence

Friday, October 14, 2014

• Serial Episode 3: "Leakin Park" Transcript
  
• Rabia promoted her blog on reddit.
  

Wedneday, October 15, 2014

• Hae Min Lee 34th birthday

Thursday, October 16, 2014

• Serial Episode 4: "Inconsistencies" Transcript
  
• Rabia tweets Jay's last name, and it is picked up on reddit. Pictures of Jay's house are posted on reddit as a result.
  
• Rabia texts Sarah and says that Redditers "figured out" Jay's last name and posted his Facebook.
  

Friday, October 17, 2014

• Rabia's blog post #2 on Serial. Response to "Inconsistencies"... Rabia reshapes Koenig's narrative. Posted on reddit.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

• Saad's Reddit AMA

Thursday, October 23, 2014

• Serial Episode 5: "Route Talk" Transcript
  
• Hae's classmate "Summer" listens, and reaches out to Sarah Koenig. In a later episode, "Summer" sounds an awful lot like "K." Summer has never been heard from again.
  
• Adnan is a Psychopath thread posted
  
• Yusuf's response to the Psychopath thread. Yusuf thinks the author is Bilal.
  

Friday, October 24, 2014

• Rabia's blog post #3 on Serial. Addresses "Route Talk." Reshaping the narrative for her own ends.
  
• Rabia writes that after her first few blog posts, she received an uncomfortable call from Koenig who rightly felt that Rabia was interfering with the storytelling. Rabia writes that she wasn't going to let this moment pass, but she agreed not to trump Sarah's show.
  

Saturday, October 25, 2014

• Saad names names and let's people know they will be bullied and harassed if they come forward.

Monday, October 27, 2014

• Rabia's blog post #4. She is offended at having been called "loosey-goosey"
  
• Rabia appears on a "google chat" with Pete Rorabaugh.
  

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

• Rabia's blog post #5 on Serial. Rabia announces that she will be appearing in a "google chat" every Monday with Pete Rorabaugh. and directs her readers to view the "chats."

Thursday, October 30, 2014

• Serial Episode 6: "The Case Against Adnan Syed" Transcript

Friday, October 31, 2014

• Rabia's sixth blog post on Serial. Addresses Serial's latest episode as "The worst of it."

Monday, November 3, 2014

• Google Chat #2 with Pete Rorabaugh
  
• Bilal signs Department of Health order suspending his license to practice dentistry.
  

Thursday, November 6, 2014

• Serial Episode 7: "The Opposite of the Prosecution" Transcript

Friday, November 7, 2014

• Rabia's seventh Serial blog post promoted on reddit.. Reframes "The Opposite of the Prosecution."
  
• Asia's classmate sends her a message about Serial via Facebook messenger
  
  • Affiant's version
  • Asia's version

Monday, November 10, 2014

• Google Chat #3 with Pete Rorabaugh

Thursday, November 13, 2014

• Serial Episode 8: "The Deal with Jay" Transcript

Friday, November 14, 2014

• Rabia's 8th blog post about Serial. She writes about the West Memphis Three, and promotes her blog on reddit
  
• State misses deadline to respond to defense's January 27, 2014 "ALA."
  
• Pictures of Jay's house are posted on reddit
  

Monday, November 17, 2014

• Google Chat #4 with Pete Rorabaugh
  
• Bilal begins defrauding Medicaid. He will eventually accrue 1.2 million from November 2014 to February 2016
  

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

• Hae's brother posts on reddit.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

• Rabia blogs about her first Facebook post on Adnan's case.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

• Serial Episode 9: "To Be Suspected" Transcript
  
  • Rabia tweets that they are poised to file to get the DNA tested
  • Items UVA IP seeks to get tested.

Friday, November 21, 2014

• Rabia blogs about "To Be Suspected," and promotes her blog on reddit.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

• Susan Simpson begins writing about Adnan, and posting her blog on reddit. - will update link soon.
  
• Baltimore Sun: City's Crime Image Based on Truth
  

Thursday, November 25, 2014

• Google Chat #5 with Pete Rorabaugh

Friday, November 26, 2014

• Rabia blogs re; Thanksgiving and letters of support she's received.

Saturday, November 27, 2014

• Rabia uploads Jay's first interview and Jen's interview. They are terrible copies she found in the defense file. Rabia still doesn't have the police investigation MPIA file, that Sarah Koenig has.

Monday, December 1, 2014

• Google Chat #6 with Pete Rorabaugh

Thursday, December 4, 2014

• Serial Episode 10: "The Best Defense is a Good Defense" Transcript
  
• Judge Heard posts on Facebook that Adnan is guilty
  

Friday, December 5, 2014

• Rabia blogs about how Gutierrez swindled them; posts a video of Shamim.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

• Approximate: Dierdre Enright and her students from the UVA IP travel to meet Adnan in prison.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

• Jon Ronson's piece in the Guardian written from an "innocent" perspective, appears to have been placed by a PR firm. Ronson includes Adnan's childhood drawings as originals. A redditor later found that these drawings were copied from a children's book. Not a big deal other than that they were presented as originals, for sympathy.

Monday, December 8, 2014

• Rabia blogs about Serial Episode 10; how Muslim kids in the USA hide things like dating from their parents.
  
• Google Chat #7 with Pete Rorabaugh
  

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

• Rabia posts interviews with Chris Flohr and Justin Brown

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

• City Paper: Where the Bodies Aren't Buried

Thursday, December 11, 2014

• Serial Episode 11: "Rumors" Transcript

Friday, December 12, 2014

• Rabia blogs about how the "Rumors" episode is "Much Ado About Nothing." She has organized a video chat of Adnan's friends to rebut every single one of the rumors.
  
• Krista creates a FreeAdnan Facebook page.
  

Saturday, December 13, 2014

• Deirdre and Justin Brown have been giving Adnan conflicting advice about how best to proceed, what to push for and when. On Saturday Adnan finally gave Deirdre the go ahead to file the motion to test DNA. It was an emotional decision for him.
  
  • Adnan Syed: It’s just anything about my case, I want to know it. I don’t want anyone to be able to say “well he didn’t want to know so boom, we went and found out.” No, I want to know. So I called Miss Deirdre and said “Look Miss Deirdre, I wanted you to test things. I’m the one that asked for this. You guys had it sitting for sixteen years and you never tested it. It’s impossible for it to be sitting there for sixteen years and you guys never tested it. So that’s fine, I want it tested... I want to see what it says. There’s nothing about my case that I’m afraid of.

Monday, December 15, 2014

• Asia contacts Adnan's defense team, after listening to the podcast
  
• Baltimore Sun: Serial Brings Healing to Syed Family
  

Thursday, December 18, 2014

• Final Serial Episode (12): "What We Know" Transcript
  
• Baltimore Sun: Rabia Chaudry Fights for Muslims - and Syed; Firebrand for Muslim Women inspired Serial
  

Friday, December 19, 2014

• Rabia launches the Adnan Syed Legal Trust on Launchgood.com: Dennis Robinson named Trustee - [Will update link soon]
  
• Rabia's responds to the final episode of Serial, in her blog and points to Don.
  
• Deirdre promotes the UVA IP via Time Magazine
  
• Asia:
  
  • At the 2016 Hearing for Post Conviction Relief, Asia testified that she binge listened to all the episodes at one time.
  • At the 2016 Hearing for Post Conviction Relief, Asia testified that she reached out to Justin Brown in "Mid-December 2014."
  • At the 2016 Hearing for Post Conviction Relief, Asia testified that Sarah Koenig recommended the attorney that Asia hired, Gary Proctor.

Undated between December 20, 2014 and January 2, 2015

• Rabia asks Sarah Koenig when she can have back all her hard copies and tapes.
  
• In the same email, Rabia asks if she can have the full police file from Sarah's MPIA request.
  
• Sarah doesn't realize that Rabia will sell/use documents from Sarah's MPIA request and research to raise money for Adnan's defense fund, and start her own podcast.
  

Monday, December 22, 2014

• Google Chat #8 with Pete Rorabaugh
  
• Rabia tweets that she will be selling transcripts. For every $10,000 raised for Adnan, she will release more documents.
  
• Tanveer characterizes Rabia's activities as a "campaign."
  

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

• Jay says that he is looking for an interview in which he can control the conditions. He is looking to expose Sarah Koenig for "who she really is."

December 28, 2014

• Rabia posts transcripts in keeping with her "transcripts for donations" advertisement.

Saturday, December 28, 2014

• Asia responds to her classmate's Facebook message

Sunday, December 29, 2014

• Susan Simpson posts the "previously unpublished" 2003 COSA Denial of Adnan's appeal, and says she filed to obtain this document, but it got water-stained in her mail box while she was out of town. However, this looks "obtained" from Rabia's water damaged documents.
  
• The Intercept publishes Part I of an Interview with Jay.
  
  • Reddit thread re; this interview: Addressing the Conspiracy Theory - will update link soon

December 30, 2014

• After receiving more money for Adnan, Rabia posts more transcripts, per her commitment to sell them for donations.
  
• Thiru Vignarajah named Deputy Attorney General
  
• The Intercept publishes Part II of an Interview with Jay.
  

Friday, January 3, 2015

• Sarah Koenig emails Rabia back about returning the documents and tapes. Sarah doesn't respond to Rabia asking for the MPIA documents. Sarah says they never identified Hae's pager.

Saturday, January 4, 2015

• ISB member calls for members to do the right thing.

Monday, January 6, 2015

• Rabia writes in her blog about Jay's lies.
  
• Rabia posts Sarah's January 3 email in her blog, saying Sarah tried to trick Adnan into thinking she had Hae's pager number when, she didn't.
  
  • Either this day or the next, Sarah calls Rabia, and is super angry: Sarah said she was mistaken, and that they did have Hae's number.
  • Sarah said Rabia's posting a private email made Serial look incompetent.
  • According to Rabia's book, Sarah and Rabia engage in a a full on shouting match re: "The Best Defense is a Good Defense."
  • Rabia is angry that Sarah only aired the part about Adnan being happy with Gutierrez, when he clearly isn't happy, and has a pending IAC claim against her.
  • Rabia told Sarah that what she used in Serial could affect Adnan's case. Sarah replied that the IAC wasn't her problem, and [Serial] used what parts of the interviews they wanted due to "editorial discretion."
  • [Note: According to Krista, Hae did have a pager.
• After receiving another $10,000 for Adnan's legal fund, Rabia posts two days of trial testimony.
  
• Jemima Khan asks her twitter followers to support Adnan's legal fund
  

Tuesday, January 7, 2015

• Kevin Urick Intercept Interview

Saturday, January 10, 2015

• Susan Simpson begins posting snippets of police files obtained via Sarah Koenig's MPIA request. She got them from Rabia who got them from Sarah.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

• Baltimore Sun: 'Serial' Prosecutor Speaks Out

Monday, January 12, 2015

• Rabia speaks at Stanford Law School
  
• At the 2016 PCR Hearing, Asia testified that she wrote her 2015 affidavit, but asked Gary Proctor and his office to look it over for grammar.
  

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

• 16th anniversary of Hae Min Lee's death
  
• Asia signs 2nd affidavit, but it is not yet released to the public.
  

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

• Part 2 of Kevin Urick's Intercept Interview

[Post Conviction III>>]()

SW: 229, CW: 234, GW: 170
I'm 29 and i have been dieting my basically my whole life, since I was 9 or 10, with a few periods of eating intuitively. I have never once had a BMI below 22 (when I was about 18) and it's currently 39. I know the ins and outs of weight loss. My brain is basically a calorie calculator with a few other cells added in. I weigh and track my food. I work out 4x/week.
In March, I decided to get sober only for the reason that alcohol has a lot of calories. At this time, I went down to 1000 cal/day and started wegovy (GLP-1 agonist) and vyvanse. (I have no appetite but I am still eating two ~300-600 cal meals per day.)
I have slowly but steadily increased in weight since then. About 1 lb/2 weeks. My starring weight was 229 and I am now at 234.
Why does this happen to me? What is going on? What am I missing?
I am so incredibly frustrated.
Edit: I'm wondering if the food itself is inaccurate since I'm counting/weighing, which leads me to wonder if I should only eat prepackaged stuff like hello fresh (etc)? Anyone have any success with that?
Edit 2: my pronouns are he/they.
Edit 3: I've gotten a lot of great advice and I'm going to start by making a doctor's appointment (the insulin resistance description is sounding very accurate) and by having another person prep my food for a week. :)

BRAVO

• Ariana Madix and Katie Maloney comfort sobbing former Vanderpump Rules co-star Dayna Kathan after the tragic death of her beloved cat Leo (Daily Mail)
• Scandoval Timeline “Evolves” in Final Reunion Episode, ‘Vanderpump Rules’ EP Says (Jackie Strause for The Hollywood Reporter)
• Following Scandoval, ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Star Ariana Madix Is Turning Her Relationship Distress Into Dollars (Mesfin Fekadu for The Hollywood Reporter)
• Lala Kent Addresses Vanderpump Rules Reunion Theories—Including Raquel Leviss Pregnancy Rumors (Amazon Live/E!)
• Lala Kent’s staples include this $31 bustier: ‘Won’t let Raquel ruin my corset vibe’ (Amazon Live/Page Six Style)
• Lala Kent Reacts to The View’s Sunny Hostin’s Take on ‘Sociopathic’ Friends Amid Raquel Leviss Drama (US Weekly)
• Brittany Cartwright 'Cannot Believe' How Big 'Vanderpump Rules' Has Become Since Scandoval: 'It's Been Crazy for Everybody' (OK! Magazine exclusive)
• Vanderpump Rules vet Brittany Cartwright poses in a bikini as she says she was 'shocked' by Tom's cheating and thinks Ariana will be 'amazing' (Daily Mail exclusive)
• Stassi Schroeder Questions Tom Schwartz for ‘Riding So Hard’ for Tom Sandoval Amid Raquel Leviss Cheating Scandal: ‘You Are Wrong’ (Straight Up With Stassi podcast/US Weekly)
• 'Bucks are done, "Vanderpump" is in.' Without playoff run, bars draw customers with reality TV watch parties (Jordyn Noennig for The Milwaukee Journal Sentinal)
• ‘Summer House: Martha’s Vineyard’ star Jordan addresses ‘sweet’ Tom Schwartz romance rumors (Page Six exclusive)

ORANGE COUNTY

• Heather Dubrow Shares Secrets of Her 24-Year Marriage to Husband Terry Dubrow: ‘Date Your Spouse’ (Heather Dubrow Instagram/People)
• Photo: Heather Dubrow filming a confessional for season 17 of The Real Housewives of Orange County (realhousewivesfranchise Instagram)

NEW JERSEY

• Teresa Giudice Has a Major Update on Milania's College Plans (Teresa Giudice Instagram/Bravo)
• Jon Gosselin & RHONJ’s Margaret Josephs help real estate mogul Patrick Carroll donate sneakers to kids in need (The Sun U.S. exclusive)
• RHONJ Alum Kim DePaola Thinks Andy Cohen ‘Is Not Happy’ With Luis Ruelas’ Actions (Behind the Velvet Rope podcast/Heavy)

NEW YORK

• Jenna Lyons attends NJ/NY Gotham FC's Pride game at the Red Bull Arena (Page Six Star Snaps)
• Press release: Jill Zarin, Star of The Real Housewives of NY, Launches Jill Zarin Beauty - A Luxurious Skincare Line Featuring Essential Products for Radiant Skin (PR Newswire)
• Bethenny Frankel gives tour of her luxurious $2.3 million Hamptons home (Bethenny Frankel TikTok/Page Six)

BEVERLY HILLS

• Erika Jayne’s Las Vegas ‘date,’ lawyer Jim Wilkes, clears up his relationship status (Page Six exclusive)

POTOMAC

• Gizelle Bryant’s Daughter Grace Graduates from High School (Gizelle Bryant Instagram/Bravo)

TORONTO

• Real Housewife Kara Alloway on her debut novel and life in Toronto (Ron Johnson for Streets of Toronto)

WYNLANDE

• ‘RHOWL’: Director opens up out about backlash, negative comment (The South African)

Links to this week's episode discussion posts:

• RHONJ S13E18 🍝
• RHOA S15E5 🍑

Elaine Wilcox (ITV) https://twitter.com/ElaineWITV/status/1666385305505595392?s=19
Judith Moritz (BBC) https://twitter.com/JudithMoritz/status/1666378285448560641?t=qJIAyKIzIFPZzVced5ZJPA&s=19
Sky News: https://news.sky.com/story/lucy-letby-trial-latest-nurse-baby-murders-prosecution-sky-news-blog-12868375
Chester Standard: https://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/23572442.live-lucy-letby-trial-june-7---cross-examination-continues/
Chester Standard:

The trial is now resuming, with the 12 members of the jury in attendance.
Nicholas Johnson KC is continuing to cross-examine Lucy Letby, turning to the case of Child M.
Letby confirms there is nothing she wishes to change in her evidence given in cross-examination so far.

​

Child M

Sky News:

Now the prosecution turns to his twin, Child M, who was also allegedly attacked by Letby - this time having air injected. He survived but was left brain-damaged.

Chester Standard:

Mr Johnson says for Child M, Letby - in her defence statement - said Child M 'was slotted into a space' in nursery room 1 which was 'full'.
Child M was 'apnoeic', and it was not known if he had a desaturation.
A crash call was put out, and Child M was turned around in an incubator by a nursing colleague, to get him on to a monitor.
Letby added she did not notice any skin colour changes in Child M at the time.

​

Letby said in her statement she had written notes on Child M's resuscitation on a paper towel which ended up in her pocket and were taken home with her.
Letby tells the court it would have been used to write up [nursing] notes.
Letby says Child L and Child M 'stood out' in her mind at the time, as they were the first twins delivered where she was the allocated nurse.

​ Sky News:

Child M was born in "good condition" and was breathing by himself. He had his observations taken every two hours.
Letby agrees this was the case.
"He was not an intensive care baby, was he?" Mr Johnson asks.
"No, I don't believe he was at this time," Letby says.

​ Chester Standard:

Letby agrees Child M was 'not an intensive care baby' and had been doing well.
Asked if staffing levels were a contributory factor in Child M's collapse, Letby says the "unit was very stretched" during the April 9 shift. She adds she does not know what caused Child M's collapse.
Asked to clarify by Mr Johnson, she says it "was a potential" factor.
Letby tells the court Child M had been in a corner unit in a full nursery, and "as nursing and medical staff we were very stretched that day".
Staffing "was not at a great level".
Letby says she "does not know" what caused Child M's collapse, so rules out a mistake by staff. She says it is "hard to say" if staff competencies were a factor in the collapse.

​

Mr Johnson says Dr Ravi Jayaram observed skin colour changes in Child M at the time of the collapse.
He says "because [Child M] was darker skinned, it was more obvious."
He said Child M was pale with pink 'blotches' on the torso that would 'appear and disappear'. He said he noted the most 'obvious' patches on the abdomen.
"I noted them when I got there at the start of the resuscitation".
He added he had only seen that once before, in the case of Child A.
Letby says "I did not see anything like that, no".

​ Sky News:

Lucy Letby is being asked about Child M, whom she is accused of leaving brain-damaged after injecting with air.
"Did the lighting in the nursery make it difficult to see?" Nick Johnson KC, the prosecution barrister, asks her.
"No," says Letby.
Letby previously told the police the lighting was "poor" in the space where Child M was.

​ Chester Standard:

Letby is asked if the lighting was an issue in nursery room 1.
Letby had told police in interview the lighting was "poor" in room 1, and she tells the court she has an independent memory of that event. Child M was "in a darker corner of the nursery", Letby tells the court.
She added to police: "I do remember his [Child M] colour being harder to assess as he was an Asian baby."
Letby tells the court the colour change, if any, was more difficult for her to see.

​ Sky News:

The prosecution points out that Letby has previously said she was able to see Child I had become "very pale" when in a darkened room at night, so questions why she could not see Child M in a well-lit room in the middle of the day.

​ Chester Standard:

Mr Johnson asks why was it necessary for Child M to be in a corner of room 1 if there were four babies in there for a capacity of four.
Letby says there always needs to be an incubator free for emergency admissions in room 1.
There were four babies in nursery room 2, three in nursery 3 and four in nursery 4.
The court hears the neonatal unit was "at effective capacity".

​

The court is shown a clinical note by Dr Anthony Ukoh, made at 10.25am on April 9.
Letby says she does not remember if she had involvement with Child M at this time. Child M was not Letby's designated baby on this day.
A neonatal schedule for Letby on April 9 shows a number of duties Letby had for her designated babies in room 1 between 9am-9.11am.
Letby says one of the designated babies was "not a low-maintenance baby", with complex cannulation issues, and was on the ward for a long time. Mr Johnson says Letby has an "extraordinary memory" for this baby, seven years on, but not for Child D, who had died.

​

The court is shown a 1.5ml bile-stained aspirate is recorded for Child M, following which Child M was nil by mouth, and the naso-gastric tube was put on free drainage.
Mr Johnson says at 3.30pm, a 10% dextrose fluid bag is started for Child M.
Letby agrees with Mr Johnson there is nothing to suggest insulin was put in this bag.

​ Sky News:

At 3.30pm on 9 April 2015, half an hour before Child M collapsed, he was given an antibiotic infusion, either by Lucy Letby or a colleague.
Letby is asked what her colleague was doing at the time.
"I can't say without looking."
Letby's colleague previously said she was dealing with a blood sample for Child L and was interrupted by Child M's emergency call.
"It was while [the colleague] was getting sterile that you sabotaged Child M," Nick Johnson KC, the prosecution barrister, says.
"No."
An extract from the witness statement of Child M's mother is then read to the court.
She said: "About ten minutes after we left the boys, a nurse came running up and said we had to go back and took me down in a wheelchair."
"Whatever happened, happened after his mum and family had left him," Mr Johnson says.
Letby says she does not recall "exact timings".
It is "another case where the parents are there and they leave and the baby collapses", Mr Johnson says.
Letby agrees this appears to be the case, but reiterates that she was with a colleague at the time.

​ Chester Standard (same exchange):

Letby says she cannot recall what Mary Griffith was doing at this time. Mr Johnson suggests this was when Ms Griffith was collecting a blood sample for Child L to be 'podded' and sent to a laboratory for analysis.
Letby says she "couldn't say" how long it would take to draw up a 12.5% dextrose solution, which in this case was for Child L, the twin of Child M.
Letby agrees it would have been after 3.45pm that that process would have started.
Letby denies that it was around 3.45pm that she "sabotaged" Child M.
Mr Johnson says the twins' mother said in an agreed evidence statement, she had to be taken back to the unit in a wheelchair, having been alerted by nurse Yvonne Griffiths, and she observed "one of the doctors was pressing [Child M's] chest." Mr Johnson says this is another case where a baby collapsed when the parents were away.
Letby says she was with Mary Griffith at the time of Child M's collapse.
Letby agrees Child M recovered quickly following the collapse.
Letby says she did not see skin discolouration, and it was not discussed at the time.

​

A colleague had previously told the court Child M's blood gas record sheet was disposed of in a confidential waste bin.
Asked how it had ended under Letby's bed at home, Letby says she has never taken anything out of the confidential waste bin.
Letby says she does not know how many blood gas records she has taken home. She says it has been put in her pocket and taken home with a handover sheet.
She says she "probably" put it in her pocket, and put it under her bed.
Asked why, Letby replies: "Because I collect paper".
Letby says household bills and bank statements would be shredded as they were 'there and then'. Other sheets such as handover sheets were not thought about.

​

Dr Ukoh's records on the resuscitation for Child M are shown to the court. Mr Johnson says the record is "meticulous", including six adrenaline doses.
Mr Johnson says the data for the resuscitation efforts is on the paper towel [that Letby took home], which Mr Johnson says he must have had in his hand at some point. Letby agrees.
Mr Johnson says that was in his hand at 8.25pm when he wrote up his notes.
Letby said she had to stay late that shift for the handover and writing up medical notes for Child M. She denies "waiting an hour and a quarter" to write up those nursing notes or "hanging around" to get the note Dr Ukoh had when writing up the note.
Letby denies "rooting around in the bin" for the blood gas record for Child M to take home. She also denies sabotaging Child M.

​ Sky News:

Letby says she stayed late that night to finish "all the work that needed doing". Medical records show she was still on the unit an hour and 15 minutes after her shift ended.
The prosecution claims she "hung around" on the unit to collect the paper towel, and removed confidential paperwork from the bin.
"No, I have never rooted in the bin," Letby says.
The prosecution claims she wanted the notes because she "sabotaged" the infant. Letby denies this.

​

Child N, charge #1

Chester Standard:

Mr Johnson is now turning to the case of Child N, born on June 2, 2016.
Letby, in her defence statement, says she had never encountered a baby with haemophilia before, and no-one on the unit seemed specifically to know how to care for such a baby.
She says she does not believe Child N 'collapsed', and it was not accurate to say he had screamed for 30 minutes. She denied causing any harm to him.

​

Letby tells the court she does not believe this event, for Child N, was a collapse which required resuscitation.
The court is shown the nursing rota for the night shift of June 2-3. Letby was designated nurse for two babies in room 4. Child N was in room 1 with one other baby - the designated nurse for both babies was Christopher Booth.
Letby rules out staffing levels or incompetence as factors in Child N's collapse.
Letby agrees Child N collapsed just after Christopher Booth went on his break.
Letby denies she was 'bored' or had 'time on her hands' working in nursery 4 that shift.
She agrees Child N 'was in good shape' at the start of the shift.

​

The neonatal schedule for June 2-3 is shown, with Letby's duties for her two designated babies from 8.30pm-8.38pm.
One of the designated babies received a 50ml NGT feed at 8.30pm as they were asleep. Letby says that feed can take '10-15 minutes or so'. She says she can't put a 'definitive number' on it.
Mr Johnson says other estimates for this kinds of feed have been 20 minutes.
Letby: "I really can't say."
Mr Johnson says Letby was texting her friends 'right through this shift'.
A sequence of messages is shown to the court. The first sent by Letby is at 7.33pm, followed by 7.35pm, 7.58pm, 7.59pm, 8pm ['We have got a baby with haemophilia'], 8pm, 8.01pm, 8.02pm, 8.03pm, 8.04pm [Ah ok I'll have to Google it later lol don't know much about it [haemophilia]], 8.06pm, 8.11pm [Complex condition, yeah 50;50 chance antenatally].
NJ: "That is where you got the answer from, Dr Google?"
LL: "No, '50:50' is something staff would know"
Messages are sent by Letby at 8.26pm [Ffs Mel asing me how to make up 12.5%],
Letby said she was "shocked" that a band 6 colleague was asking her how to make up such a solution, when she could have looked for herself.
8.29pm: 'No I've passed her folder but now asking if can run via cannula- she needs to look herself!'
Letby says she was "not happy" with Mel.
Another message is sent from Letby at 8.29pm, and at 8.31pm, and 8.31pm, at 8.32pm, 8.34pm.
Letby is asked how she can feed a baby at 8.30pm when she was also texting.
LL: "You can't."
Letby denies feeding the baby "very quickly" by putting the plunger on the end.

​

Another message is sent from Letby at 8.38pm [Had strange message from [doctor colleague] earlier...']
Mr Johnson asks if Letby's nursing colleague was implying Letby and the doctor were in a relationship. Letby says she does not know.
Letby's colleague sent two messages: "Did u? Saying what?
"Go commando? 😂"
Letby is asked by Mr Johnson if she knows what the implication of 'go commando' means.
LL: "I don't know what was meant, I can't say right now."
NJ: "Do you think this was an army reference, being from Hereford?"
LL: "I don't know."

​ Sky News:

In one message, Letby's colleague encouraged her to "go commando".
Letby denies knowing what this means.
"What does that mean, is it a reference to the royal marines?" Nick Johnson KC, for the prosecution, asks.
"I don't know," Letby says.
"Go commando, you don't know what that means?" Mr Johnson says.
The court is shown that Letby replied with a series of laughing emojis.
"Did you think this was an army reference, you being from Hereford?"
"I don't know," Letby says.
Further text messages are shown to the court, in which Letby denies to her colleague that she was being flirty with the other colleague.

​ Chester Standard

The messages are sent by Letby at 8.39pm, 8.40pm, 8.41pm, 8.43pm [Do you think he's being odd?], 8.44pm [Shut up!], 8.44pm [I don't flirt with him!].
The text message conversation was:
Letby: 'Had strange message from [colleague] earlier....'
Reply: 'Did u? Saying what?'
Letby had replied at 8.39pm: '😂😂😂😂'
LL: 'Asking when I was working next week as wants to talk to me about something, has a favour to ask..?'
Reply: 'Think he likes u too'
Reply: 'Hmm did u not ask what it was?'
LL: 'No just said when I was working and he said wants my opinion on something'
LL: 'Hmm...🤔'
Reply: 'Hmm'
LL: 'Do you think he's being odd?'
Reply: 'Thought as flirty as u'
LL: 'Shut up!'
Reply: 'What?!'
LL: 'I don't flirt with him!'
Reply: 'Ok'
LL: 'Certainly don't fancy him haha just nice guy'
Reply: 'Ok'

​

Mr Johnson says Letby was 'texting non-stop' on the nursery room.
Letby says the feed "must have happened at a different time". She says she cannot answer when. She denies 'pushing it through' the feed.

​ Sky News:

Questioning continues about how Lucy Letby could have been texting her colleague "non-stop" while she was allegedly feeding a baby.
"I couldn't feed a baby while texting so it must have happened at a different time," Letby says.
"What must have happened?" Mr Johnson asks.
"The feed."
Mr Johnson then says: "Or the alternative is, to use your phrase, you pushed it through."
"No," says Letby.
Child N collapsed at 1am on 3 June 2016. Notes written hours later said his oxygen levels dipped down to 40%. He is also recorded as "screaming".
"Screaming is very unusual of a child of this age," Mr Johnson says.
"Yes," says Letby.
Mr Johnson then says: "This was your doing."
"No, it was not," says Letby.

​ Chester Standard:

Mr Johnson says Child N collapsed at 1am. Christpher Booth 'one episode whilst I was on my break, whereby infant was crying++ and not settling. He became dusky in colour, desaturating to 40s. Responded to facial oxygen within 1-2 minutes. Crying subsided within approximately 30 minutes and colour returned to normal...'
Letby tells the court this was not a 'collapse' as facial oxygen was all that was required, not resuscitation.
Mr Johnson says Dr Jennifer Loughnane had a 'look of surprise' in court when she had read her note she had written Child N was 'screaming', as that was unusual. Letby says she does recall that.
She denies sabotaging Child N.

​

Child N, charge #2

Mr Johnson turns to the second set of events for Child N on June 15, when the plan was for Child N to go home that week. Letby agrees he only needed phototherapy at this stage.
A feeding chart is shown for Child N, who was being fed mostly expressed breast milk.
Child N's mother had visited on the morning of June 14, and in the evening, at 5.15pm. Child N had taken a 60ml bottle feed. Letby agrees with mr Johnson this was "a very good sign".
Mr Johnson suggests Letby did something to destabilise Child N before the end of her day shift.
LL: "No I did not."
Letby says it was a "coincidence" Child N was, according to nursing notes that night "very unsettled early part of night", with observations of mottling.

​ Sky News:

Medical notes show the infant was "unsettled" for the first half of the night shift - when Letby was not working.
In a Facebook message sent to Letby, a doctor on the unit later told her: "Unsure why became unwell... They're optimistic he'll be okay."

​ Chester Standard:

Letby is asked about a message sent by a nursing colleague at 5.26am which said 'Baby [N] screened, looks like [s]'*
Letby responded: 'Oh no'
Letby denies she saw this as an opportunity to sabotage Child N during the day shift.
LL: "No, that's not what happened."
Letby messaged a doctor colleague at 6.04am on June 15: 'Wonder if I'll find my way back into 1 today then....',
This is in response to his message at 5.53am, which begins: 'What a chaotic 7 hours!
'Sorry - I may have filled NICU [...]
'Have a good breakfast 😉 I think your day may be busy.'

​

Swipe data shows that Letby is on the neonatal unit at 7.12am. Child N desaturated three minutes later and was 'crying'.
Letby says she does not recall Child N crying. She says, at the time, she was in the doorway, talking to Jennifer Jones-Key - her friend, when the alarm for Child N went off.
Letby says it "was very busy" and "a lot of intervention was needed" for Child N after he collapsed. She does not cite staffing levels as a contributing factor for the collapse, or a mistake by medical staff.
Letby says she "does not know" if issues with intubating Child N were a factor, and does not know what caused Child N to collapse.
She denies "setting up" Child N to collapse overnight.

​ Sky News

Lucy Letby is questioned about why she arrived early to her day shift on 15 June 2016, swiping in just under 20 minutes before the handover began.
She is accused of attempting to murder Child N twice that day.
"You sabotaged him on the night shift, in effect by going in early," Nick Johnson KC, the prosecution barrister, says.
"No," says Letby.
The prosecution claims Letby set Child N "up to fail at the end of the previous day shift" and then came in early "to make it look like he came from the night shift with a problem".
Mr Johnson accuses her of "making a beeline" for Child N, in nursery three.
Letby tells the court she went into the room to speak to her friend, and at this point "handover hadn't been allocated".
But a Facebook message to a colleague timestamped at 7.12am (when she arrived on the unit) disputes this.
It says: "I've escaped being back in 1, back in 3."
At 7.15am, the child was "blue" and "wasn't breathing", according to medical notes.
Mr Johnson says this happened "within a minute or two of you arriving in that room".
"Yes," says Letby.
"Just bad luck, is it?" says Mr Johnson.
"Yes," says Letby.

​ Chester Standard (same evidence):

Letby, in her defence statement, said she had gone to nursery room 3 not to see Child N specifically, but to speak to Jennifer Jones-Key, her friend.
She said Child N was 'blue' and 'not breathing'. She shouted for a doctor colleague to assist and Neopuff breathing assistance was applied.
Letby is asked about the 'Jennifer and I were talking at the doorway'. Letby says she meant only she was at the doorway, and Jennifer Jones-Key was in the nursery room.
Letby, in a Facebook message to a colleague: 'No repeat today. I've escaped being in 1, back in 3' at 7.12pm.
Mr Johnson says Letby had gone in to room 3 as she knew by that point she was designated babies for that room. Letby says she had gone to see her friend.
Letby denies sabotaging Child N.
Letby agrees it was a "serious event" which happened "within a minute or two" of her entering the room. Mr Johnson says it was "bad luck?" Letby replies: "Yes."

​

Mr Johnson asks Letby when blood was seen orally on Child N.
Letby replies "the only time definitively" she recalled that was at 3pm. she says that is on her memory "sitting here now".
Mr Johnson says if she had recorded blood observations at the time, would she accept that now? Letby says she would, although it may have been based on what people had informed her at the time.
Mr Johnson says the one who would have informed her would have been the doctor colleague she "loved as a friend".

​ Sky News:

The doctor who responded to this initial incident is someone Letby says she "loved as a friend" - she admits this colleague would not have had it in for her. (Letby has previously accused a "band of four" colleagues of conspiring against her.)
"Do you accept what [the doctor] says about this initial desaturation... about it being concerning?" Nick Johnson KC, for the prosecution, asks.
"Yes," says Letby.
Letby did not write up the nursing notes on the collapse at 7.15am of Child N - claiming she took over his care from 7.30am.
"Who discovered him [at 7.15am]?," Mr Johnson asks.
"We were both there," Letby says.
"Who discovered him?" Mr Johnson presses.
"We both heard his monitor, I went over to him," Letby says.
Mr Johnson says Letby was "hoping to create the impression on the paperwork that these were all events that happened before you arrived".
"No, I disagree."

Chester Standard:

Letby's nursing note: '...infant transferred to nursery 1 on handover. Mottled, desaturating requiring Neopuff and oxygen.'
Letby says "both" she and Jennifer Jones-Key had gone over to Child N at the time of desaturation.
Mr Johnson says Letby was "hoping to create the impression" on the nursing notes that the problems for Child N happened before the handover.
LL: "No, I disagree."
Letby tells the court she had taken over Child N's care from 7.30am.

​

Letby's note, written at 1.53pm-2.10pm adds: 'unable to intubate - fresh blood noted in mouth and yielded via suction ++'.
Letby says the 3pm blood observation was the first one she could "definitively remember".
Mr Johnson says this note is a 'good hour' before that observation.
Letby denies Child N was bleeding from when she first got involved that day.

​

Letby says she knows there was blood recorded prior to 3pm.
Mr Johnson says the doctor colleague recalled, in evidence, seeing blood before the intubation process at 8am.
Benjamin Myers KC, for the defence, rises to say that in cross-examination, the doctor colleague did not rule out the possibility the blood was present after the attempt to intubate.
Mr Johnson says there was an attempt to intubate at 8am. Letby agrees. Letby also agrees with the observation there was swelling at the back of Child M's throat. She says she "cannot comment" further on what the doctor colleague saw.

​ Sky News:

Letby's lawyer points out, in cross-examination, that this doctor said he could not be sure if blood was present before or during the procedure.
The doctor said he saw swelling at the back of the infant's throat and said it "must have been unusual for me to remember it".

​ Chester Standard:

Letby recorded in her notes, written at 1.53pm retrospectively: '...unable to intubate - fresh blood noted in mouth and yielded via suction ++'
Mr Johnson says the doctors could not see, for the blood. Letby says she cannot say what doctors observed.
Letby agrees that evidence from Professor Sally Kinsey ruled out 'spontaneous haemhorrhage' for Child N at this time.

​ Sky News:

The court is then read an extract from the evidence of Child N's father. He previously told the court:
I was at work. I then received a phone call from Child N's nurse, Lucy. [Letby] said he had been a bit unwell in the night but said he is okay now. I told Lucy that [Child N's] mum would be in in a bit to see him as usual and that was that... I did not get the impression that he was still unwell and needed to be concerned... About ten minutes later [Child N's mother] rang me and said we had to go to the hospital.
Letby disputes she made this phone call.
"I don't recall speaking to the parents myself," she tells the court.

​ Chester Standard:

Letby is asked about family communication with Child N's parents. A note by Letby at the time: 'Parents were contacted by S/N Butterworth during intubation. Both mobile phones switched off and no answer on landline. Message left. Call returned shortly after and parents were asked to attend. Have been present since.
'Both understandably upset...'
Agreed evidence said Child N's mother had said Lucy Letby had been in contact with them.
Letby says "it's a difference in recollection".
Mr Johnson says this is agreed evidence, it's the truth.
He says Letby's note "is a lie".
Letby: "no, it's not."
The mother recalled Child N 'had a bleed and was unwell', and said Letby had informed the parents of this.
Letby: "No, I disagree."
NJ: "But it's agreed evidence."
LL: "Well, I disagree with it now."
Mr Johnson says this is another account from a parent which Letby says is untrue.
Mr Johnson says Letby has been 'firing out post-it notes from the dock' during the trial, but had not raised this issue at the time.
LL: "I'm not sure."
NJ: "Is the answer no?"
LL: "It's not something I raised with my legal team."
Letby: "I don't want to comment on whats, ifs and buts."
Mr Johnson says Letby interrupted when the mother of Child E and F gave evidence, to say she couldn't hear, and wanted to leave the courtroom when a doctor colleague began to give evidence.
LL: "Yes, because I felt unwell."
Mr Johnson says: "No, no..." adding that it was because it was her boyfriend who was giving evidence.
Letby: "That's not fair."
Mr Myers rises to say the line of questioning is inappropriate, and asks for the opportunity to consider the issue raised [of a dispute in agreed evidence].
Letby adds she did not make the phone call to Child N's parents, and denies making false entries in the paperwork.
An intensive care chart is shown for Child N on June 15, saying at 10am '1ml fresh blood'. Letby says she "cannot say" if it was a vomit or aspirate. The note is in Letby's handwriting.
Letby is asked what she did about it.
Letby: "I cannot say right now."

​

Mr Johnson asks what would Letby do if fresh blood was observed in Child N's mouth?
LL: "I don't know if it was in the mouth." Letby adds such an observation would have been escalated, but she does not know who to. Mr Johnson says there is no record of it being escalated.
Letby agrees there is no "written record", but it may have been verbally escalated. She says 1ml fresh blood is not normal but not a life-threatening event.
Mr Johnson says for a baby with haemophilia, it was serious.
Letby says it would be a concern, and would be escalated.

​

A doctor in the ward does not record the bleed during the ward round, the court is told.
Mr Johnson says Letby has "invented" the blood reading for 10am. Letby: "I disagree."
Mr Johnson suggests it was all designed to give an ongoing impression for a child with haemophilia. Letby disagrees.
Letby says it's true that an NG Tube can cause "a small amount" of bleeding in the mouth.
Letby says she cannot say if she didn't escalate it [the bleed in Child N] verbally.

​

A Facebook message from Letby is sent to a doctor colleague at 11.29am on June 15.
'Small amounts of blood from mouth & 1ml from ng. Looks like pulmonary bleed on Xray. Given factor 8 - wait and see. Apnoeas have improved & gases good, colour & perfusion still not Great. If deteriorates will try to intubate.'
The x-ray report ruled out a pulmonary bleed. Letby says this report came some time later.
Mr Johnson suggests either there wasn't a problem at all, that Letby was making evidence up, or Letby was causing the problem. Letby disagrees.

​

Child N, charge 3

Mr Johnson says a statement from the parent of Child N said the collapse was so serious a priest was offered. Mr Johnson says this collapse must have been the one at 2.50pm.
Letby noted: 'approx 1450 infant became apnoeic, with desaturation to 44%...fresh blood noted from mouth and 3mls blood aspirated from NG tube...drs crash called...'
NJ: "What had you done to cause this in [Child N]?"
LL: "I hadn't done anything.

​

Letby denies "shoving a foreign object" down Child N's throat. Letby: "Absolutely not."
NJ: "It's all your work, isn't it?"
LL: "No it's not at all."
Letby agrees she was 'agitated' by the need for assistance from Alder Hey, as she had not known a case before of people from another hospital coming in to assist.
NJ: "Do you remember saying 'who are these people?' 'who are these people?'"
"Yes, because I had never experienced who these people were [coming in from a different hospital.] ...It was a completely new experience."
Child N later collapsed once more.
She denies using the doctors being in a 'huddle' as an 'opportunity' to try and kill Child N again.

Court has reached its scheduled early end for the day. Letby's cross-examination will resume tomorrow at 10:30 am local time

Hello guys!
​
So basically I am 29 and I started learning coding about 4 months ago in SoftUni(Bulgaria). It's around 2 year program from 0 to Full Stack that I found really good. We have facebook group, schedule, 3 times a week 3 hours live classes with Q&A during it, exercises, homework, exams, mentor help, facebook group and tons of good things. The program is built for people who work and want to enter it steady.
And here comes my problem. I want it fast. I worked last few years mainly logistic work, driving reachtrucks, forklifts and warehouse jobs that I hated every single one of them. I was feeling I can do much more and actually I really can. I feel I am understanding very well the programming, the topics and since I was a child I love logic. Just my path took me to work for safety and never risk. I always had desire for growth, personal, spiritual, intellectual. I always was feeling those type of production jobs I was working for toxic. If e ever met a person that I liked in those jobs, well that person was there temporarily, because he was probably smart and knew this is to sustain his goals. But not me!
I was driven by fear and I kept working those type of jobs, while being abroad in another country, while I even did not make research or something what I have in the area. Even I was not on some stable contract, just working as temp worker for agencies. Every single one of those jobs I nailed, get really good and then get really bored. I tried coding while I was working since 2020 but I always gave up.
Well, April this year, after I finish my shift at the warehouse, I got informed that I will be laid off. That was after I was wondering for 2 months should I quit or not, when I wanted to quit with all my heart. And that was blessing!
I started immediately to code more( I was already in 2 months introcutiry course with C Sharp) and I nailed the exam with 600 out of 600 points, so I entered the full program. Now I am halfway trough the Fundamentals course. So far I learned : statements(if-else if , switch ) , loops, data types, methods, some particle understing of arrays(which i don't push myself) and I feel like i really like this thing. I bough myself a good MacBook Pro with half of my savings, because my old laptop was shit and I have support from my girlfriend and family.
But I keep pushing myself too much, to the point I start feeling stress that I am not doing good enough, i must code every free minute BECAUSE OF FEAR! Fear not ending up again in those type of jobs i worked last 6 years! I am working part time delivery guy right now, so I can code a bit more, but I feel I must find a full time job, even though I can make it normal with part time job, since I can cover all my needs.
But no no, I must be really good! I must be ahead of most of my classmates! I kind of like that mentality, but also sometimes I feel it takes from my enjoyment of life. My goal is to find a job, that will allow me to live comfortably , have decent salary and enjoy my life. I don't want to build something that will change the world or be super competitive and give all my life to coding. Just to find a job, that is challenging, well paid, that I feel proud that I have profession.
I believe in myself and I am 100% sure that I will do it. The thing is, I don't want to burn myself out and I don't want to stress myself too much. What are some realistic tips and advices that you can give me. I think i am a bit affected by all this hustle culture and sleep is for the weak. Part of me is truly believing this is true. I felt like I wasted my last 10 years and now i want to over compensate, but I feel that i am getting a bit burned out, from the high goals and standards I put myself in.
And that stress is mainly coming that I don't have right now stable income, and I feel a full-time job will slow me down a lot in terms of learning to code. I feel really fucked up in my head those days and any solid advice will be of help. No sweet talks, harsh truth is always welcome. If you read all this, thank you for having interest in my story!

I attended my psychiatrist appointment at the ED clinic earlier today. It was just a quick 15 mins consult really. I explained to her how recently I’ve been relatively okay, but: (i’m really sorry this is long, i hope you make it to the end)

• have been very dysmorphic and almost always feeling like my face is super round, my gross nose takes up half of my face, that i’m too huge for public transport and am spilling over the seats and making other commuters disgusted and unhappy, and that I look like I belong on “my 600-lb life” even though I’m about a third of that weight (which I repulsed by still, I feel fucking horrid)
  
• have started restricting portions again a bit in every meal (especially the staple carbs), and take between 1–3 meals a day — it’s dependent on my family a lot of the time, if they skip meals then i skip meals because my mum would ask “oh you still want to eat again?”, even though we have only eaten 1 meal that day
  
• being around my family and their disordered eating behaviours have been hard: my sister doesn’t eat dinner and only a small breakfast sometimes (I’ve never really seen her eat breakfast before work tbh), my dad skips dinner sometimes but eats full portions, and my mum always wants to eat restricted portions and often skips lunch in favour of exercise during her lunch hour, and thinks a few small snacks (like 1–2 slices of bread with nothing else) constitutes a proper healthy meal because it’s not filling. then I get so alarmingly competitive because they are restricting better than me, and i’m the fattest in the family even with a restrictive ED (atypical AN). i also feel angry inside because they aren’t eating properly and i want them to be normal so i can learn to finally have a normal relationship with food too
  
• my mum always praises me and says she’s envious of me when i don’t finish my food, which I’ve done nearly every irregular meal I’ve had recently. says i have good self-control. tells me my dietitian, who wants me to eat regular full meals, doesn’t know what she’s doing, and that i should listen to my own mind/body and what I feel is right (which is of course disordered)
  
• when my PTSD flares up (happening more recently, 2-year traumaversary was just this past weekend) and I feel so shameful and disgusting for what was done to my body, and what I did to cope with the traumas, i start feeling extremely disgusted with my body in ED ways too
  

After that the psychiatrist (specialised in ED) just kind of told me that I’m an adult now (25F), and that I should be more independent from my family and decide for myself when and how much to eat, outside of their problematic eating. That it’s time for me to separate myself from their routines and decisions and criticism since I’m not a child/teen anymore, and their words are no longer an “end all be all” (in her exact words) — I can listen but know within myself that it’s not right, and go my own way. She also did mention that I should try discussing ED more with my therapist — my therapist and I are working a lot on self-worth, self-esteem and finding positives in myself now (it’s not going well yet, i’m still being pretty fucking shitty to myself), but nothing really addressing ED specifically.
When I was about to leave, she mentioned that I was “doing better”. That scared me. Whatever I was telling her was a bit worse than the last time I saw her 3 months ago. I’m restricting more compared to last time we met. My dysmorphic thoughts have been hovering around the same or a little worse. I’m becoming competitive with my family member’s disordered behaviours. And frankly deep inside, my ED tells me that I don’t want to be better. I don’t see how I’m any better. I don’t want her to tell me I’m doing better or doing well. Oftentimes I frankly feel (but this may just be me overthinking) that she and the ED department/clinic don’t take people like me seriously — people who have AAN who are fatter who don’t restrict enough to be underweight. I mean, even society thinks that too — “fat people can’t possibly have an eating disorder, if they had one then why are they still fat? even if they have a restrictive ED it’s not real anorexia, they’re not really restricting if they’re still so huge”.
I don’t want to be severely obese. I’ve gained 20kg since i left inpatient in September 2021 at 67+kg. I’m still horrified with myself, and so upset and repulsed. I want to lose the weight quickly again through restriction, but needing to travel to work and medical appointments make me hungry (not the binge kind tho) and I tend to get very faint, clammy, and vomit, if I don’t eat — I don’t know why, it happens every time I don’t have a meal and expend any energy after leaving the house.
I just… I’m tired. I hate my body and I hate my brain. I feel hopeless about my weight. I don’t know how to eat normally and yet still lose the weight too — I only know restriction. It feels like everyone thinks I don’t have a serious problem, and they treat me like my ED isn’t bad enough to be even 0.01% concerned. Like I don’t have a years-old weighing scale in my head telling me that if I eat a full lunch, then I’ve eaten too much to have a full dinner, that I only deserve much less food. I’m honestly at a loss for what to do or feel. I only know that I just feel downright awful, and mentally very ill and my thoughts are distorted, but nobody really cares because my body doesn’t look like a sick body.

Posts in this series (note: link will only work properly in new Reddit): https://www.reddit.com/lds/collection/363e4ce4-8cec-40ad-8ea9-5954cf1fe52d
Sorry for taking so long to get this posted! I’ve been putting in more than 60 hours a week at work lately, and I just didn’t have time to properly research this post.
This week, the topic under discussion is Joseph’s wives and the way that he personally practiced plural marriage. It’s true that some of the circumstances a little unusual compared to how later members practiced it, and it’s also true that sealing practices in general were unusual compared to how we practice them today. The world was also very different in the 1840s than it is today in the 2020s.
All of that means that it can be very difficult for us to understand what was going on and why. I’m going to do my best to break this all down so that it makes sense, but just remember, it’s okay if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s okay if you don’t like the idea of plural marriage. It’s okay if you don’t ever want to practice it. I don’t, either.
But I do have a firm testimony that it was commanded by God. That testimony didn’t just magically appear one day. I had to earn it. I had to get on my knees and pray, and I had to ask Heavenly Father whether He instituted it or not. I had to study the issue and the circumstances surrounding it. More importantly, I had to ask Him to help me understand the reasons why He instituted it.
That’s the only way to really know for yourself.
So, having said that, let’s get into Faulk’s claims.

• The Women

Due to the secretive nature of Joseph’s affairs, the actual total number of wives Joseph took is unclear. Written records, primary accounts and second hand accounts puts the number between 29-65 women.

They were not affairs, they were sealings. Sixty-five is also a pretty exaggerated number. Most reputable sources put it at around 30-35. And again, remember that sealings are different than marriages, even though we often perform them together today. Many of those sealings were for eternity only, not for both time and eternity the way that sealings are done today. In fact, some of those wives, such as Cordelia Morley and Rachel Ivins Grant, did not have any kind of union with him at all while he was alive, and were sealed to Joseph for the very first time after he was already dead.
One thing to remember is that the sealing power is to seal us all together as one giant family. It’ll be one unbroken chain connecting all of us together. Many of these sealings of Joseph’s were done for that specific reason, to bind families together in the next life. That’s why there were things like adoption sealings, where people would be “adopted” into each other’s families through the sealing process. Siblings were sometimes sealed together. Women who were married to men who were not members of the Church would sometimes to be sealed to righteous Priesthood holders for the next life.
Also, it drives me batty that Faulk keeps repeating that Joseph took wives. None of them were married to him against their will. They all had a choice in the matter.

Most disturbing was the fact that many of these women were already married, much younger and related to each other.

Why is that “most disturbing”? The women were all of legal marriageable age, and there is no evidence of any sexual relations between Joseph and any of the civilly married women, or with any of the youngest wives.
One of the reasons it’s believed that Joseph was sealed to so many women who were already married is because he was trying to satisfy God’s commandment while not hurting Emma. If he was sealing himself to married women, he wouldn’t have to actually marry them and live together as husband and wife. As the Gospel Topics Essay Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo says:

These sealings may also be explained by Joseph’s reluctance to enter plural marriage because of the sorrow it would bring to his wife Emma. He may have believed that sealings to married women would comply with the Lord’s command without requiring him to have normal marriage relationships. This could explain why, according to Lorenzo Snow, the angel reprimanded Joseph for having “demurred” on plural marriage even after he had entered into the practice. After this rebuke, according to this interpretation, Joseph returned primarily to sealings with single women.

Joseph’s youngest wife, Helen Mar Kimball Whitney, was sealed to Joseph when she was fourteen. We’ll discuss her in some detail a little later in this post. But that union was done for dynastic/adoptive reasons at her father’s request, to join Heber C. Kimball’s family to Joseph’s in the eternities.
And, believe it or not, some of the women who practiced plural marriage probably found it easier to do so when the other wife was biologically related to them. After all, they already loved them and knew how to live together with them in harmony.
At this point in the LFMW, Faulk posts a small chart taken from Todd Compton’s In Sacred Loneliness. You can find that chart here.

1. Married: Between 8-11 women were married to other men at the time Joseph took them for his wives.

And every single one of them remained married to their husbands after they were sealed to Joseph. That’s because, again, sealings and marriages are not the same thing, and sealings for the next life had no bearing on their marriages in this one. Joseph did not live with these women as husband and wife.

He sent several men on missions for the Church then married their wives, or married their wives in secret and then sent the husbands on missions afterwards.

Many of the husbands in question knew about the sealings and even participated in them. Joseph also did not send the husbands on missions so he could marry their wives in secret.

• Marinda Nancy Johnson-Hyde-Smith

In September 1831, Joseph and Emma Smith moved in with the Johnson family while Joseph and Sidney Rigdon worked on translating the Bible. While staying with the Johnsons in March, 1832, Joseph Smith was dragged out by a mob and tarred and feathered. Marinda’s brother Eli led the mob because he felt that Joseph had been too intimate with Marinda.

Um. No. Eli Johnson was Marinda’s uncle, not her brother, and he wasn’t the leader of the mob. The mob also didn’t attack him for that reason. Marinda herself said that Joseph had never acted inappropriately while he was staying in her father’s home. This accusation was first introduced during the infamous 1884 Braden-Kelley debate, and repeated by Fawn Brodie, Grant Palmer, and a host of others.
The mob was led by Symonds Ryder and Ezra Booth, because they thought he’d try to steal their property under the Law of Consecration. They’d both already apostatized for various reasons, then led a smear campaign against Joseph and the Church through local newspapers for a while before leading the attack. The only evidence that Eli Johnson was even involved are brief reports that he was the one who provided and heated the tar. According to at least one account, he wasn’t even an active participant, but just left it out for them to use. The mob tried to castrate then murder Joseph and nearly did kill Sidney Rigdon, and were unsuccessful in all attempts.
However, as we all know, Joseph’s infant son tragically died from the effects of the frigid weather that night. Pretty tough bunch of guys, right? Gathering up a violent mob to go murder a baby.

Soon Marinda married apostle Orson Hyde. On April 6, 1840, Orson was sent on a 3 year mission to Jerusalem. Shortly after his departure, Joseph married his wife Nancy Marinda Johnson-Hyde while Orson was gone. In Joseph Smith’s journal, in a list of his marriages he wrote “Apr 42 Marinda Johnson to Joseph Smith.” In 1858 Orson and Marinda separated.

The separation of Orson and Marinda Hyde had nothing to do with her sealing to Joseph, which had happened 15 years earlier. The rest of this is also pretty heavily distorted. Orson Hyde was sent on his mission on April 15, 1840, and returned on December 7, 1842. There are two sealing dates for Joseph and Marinda, making it unclear when it actually happened. It was written down in Joseph’s journal by his scribe Thomas Bullock as taking place in May of 1842. This entry was apparently not recorded until after July 14, 1843, however, and the affidavit Marinda signed stated that the sealing took place in May 1843, after Orson was home.
Regardless of which date is accurate, Orson was not sent on a mission so Joseph could steal his wife if the sealing happened 2-3 years after he left. They were not sealed “shortly after his departure” at all. In fact, even the earliest sealing date is closer to the date he returned than the date he left.

• Zina Diantha Huntington-Jacobs-Smith-Young

Zina was 18 when her mother died and after went to live in the Smith’s home. Soon she met Joseph’s friend, Henry Jacobs. Joseph was to officiate their wedding, but never showed. Instead, bishop John C. Bennett performed the marriage. Later, Zina asked Joseph why he didn’t show, “He told her it had been made known to him that she was to be his Celestial Wife and he could not give to another one who had been given to him.” (Henry Jacobs, History of Henry Bailey Jacobs)
During Henry and Zina’s marriage, Joseph sent Henry on 8 missions. At one point Joseph sent a message to Zina through her brother Dimick. It read, “Tell Zina I have put it off and put it off until an angel with a drawn sword has stood before me and told me if I did not establish that principle and live it, I would lose my position and my life and the Church could progress no further.” After four proposals and pressured with the responsibility for the life of the prophet, Zina finally accepted. (Brian C. Hales, Mormon Historical Studies 11, no. 2 (Fall 2010): 69–70.)

That last line there is a pretty big exaggeration of what the article actually says. In fact, the article doesn’t talk about Zina Huntington at all. The only place she’s mentioned at all is her inclusion in a chart of the different accounts of the angel with the drawn sword. I’ve included a screenshot of the only three mentions of her from Faulk’s cited source. In fact, it’s actually a paraphrased line from Todd Compton’s In Sacred Loneliness.
Zina, however, clarified that she came to accept the principle through searching the scriptures and praying, and that she received an answer from God that it was from Him. It wasn’t because she felt pressured into it at all.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to pin down exact details when it comes to Zina’s timeline, as there are a lot of discrepancies. When I wrote my response to the CES Letter, I cited liberally from a book titled 4 Zinas: A Story of Mothers and Daughters on the Mormon Frontier. This book used to be housed on the Internet Archive, but has since been taken down. Forgive me that I can’t show exact pages anymore on those citations. Many years after all these events took place, Zina gave testimony saying that she first learned of the principle of plural marriage from Dimick, who had heard it from Joseph. Other sources, seemingly reliant on her diary, say that she learned it from Joseph while she was staying at his home. Some sources say that Joseph proposed to her three times while she was living at his home and that she refused him each time out of respect for Emma. Other sources say she declined to give him an answer and kept putting him off, also out of respect for Emma. Some sources say that Joseph wrote Zina a letter saying he’d been threatened by an angel with a drawn sword, while others say that it was a verbal message passed to her by Dimick, who had been sent to offer her another proposal (even though she was already married to Henry Jacobs at that point). Some sources say that Henry was present for that initial sealing to Joseph, but absent from the other resealing to Joseph for eternity and sealing to Brigham for time. Others say Henry was there for the sealing to Brigham, but are silent on whether he was there for the first sealing to Joseph. Zina said in her later testimony that it was just Joseph, her, and Dimick present at their initial sealing, but that Brigham later resealed them after he returned from a mission to England, meaning that she would have been sealed to Joseph three times in total. However, in signed affidavits collected by the Church, Zina, Dimick, and Dimick’s wife Fanny all verified that Fanny was there at the sealing, too. Etc.
Because of all of this, it’s difficult to know exactly what happened, who was aware of what, and when and how they all became aware of it. However, Zina did say that the Lord had prepared her for the doctrine prior to her hearing it:

I will tell you the facts. I had dreams — I am no dreamer but I had dreams that I could not account for. I know this is the work of the Lord; it was revealed to me, even when young. Things were presented to my mind that I could not account for. When Joseph Smith revealed this order I knew what it meant; the Lord was preparing my mind to receive it.

Additionally, Henry was called on his first mission in May of 1839, before he ever even met Zina. The guy was a prolific missionary who served repeatedly throughout his life. None of those missions overlapped with Joseph’s sealing to Zina.
In fact, according to family tradition, he was present when Joseph told Zina that the reason he hadn’t officiated their wedding is because she was meant to be his plural wife. Henry accepted the news because he was close to Joseph and trusted him. Zina was the one who hadn’t received an answer yet and still had reservations.

After Joseph’s death, Brigham Young also took Zina for his wife while she was still married to Henry Jacobs. Brigham called Henry to serve a mission in England and told him to find another wife. While Henry was in England, Zina began living at the Young house with her children and soon bore a child with Brigham.

Let’s walk through all of this. First, many of Joseph’s sealed wives who were already civilly married to someone else just stayed married to their husbands after his death. They had the choice on whether to re-seal themselves to Joseph or not, and the single wives had the choice of which members of the Twelve they wanted to be sealed to for time. Zina wasn’t forced to leave her marriage to seal herself to Brigham. She chose to do that.
Brigham supposedly told Henry to find another wife, though that can’t be corroborated. He also supposedly had to tell Henry to stop writing love letters to Zina after they were married.
Brigham eventually had several dozen wives and 57 children, in addition to being the leader of the Church and the governor of Utah Territory, owning multiple businesses, and directing the settlement efforts across a very large area. Dude was a busy guy, just saying. Zina did not live with him and did not spent tons of alone time with him. She lived for a time in a separate home with her children, and for a time in a house with several of his other wives. The time she spent alone together with him was sporadic and infrequent.
How would Brigham know that Zina was getting love letters from Henry Jacobs unless she told him? And if she enjoyed receiving those letters, why would she tell him? Why not hide them from him? It would’ve been pretty easy to do so—all she had to do was keep her mouth shut. It’s not like Brigham was snooping through all of his wives’ things in his limited free time. The only reason for her to bring the letters to his attention was if she didn’t like receiving them.
Imagine it from her point of view. You get divorced and move on. You describe that marriage as an unhappy one at several points throughout the rest of your life. You marry someone else and even have a child with them, but your ex keeps contacting you, telling you how much they still love you and still want to be with you. How uncomfortable would that be? It’d be an extremely awkward situation for anyone.
To me, it’s far more likely that Zina went to Brigham and asked him to intervene because it was making her uncomfortable than it is that Brigham found out on his own and flew into a rage and forbade Henry from contacting Zina despite her protestations.
Aside from a very few notable exceptions, most of Brigham’s wives and children spoke of him in glowing terms. Zina herself mentioned his kindness repeatedly.
Henry, meanwhile, was married three more times and all four of his marriages ended in divorce. I don’t know what led to the end of the other three marriages, but I do know that he’s the common denominator in all of those marriages.
It seems clear that Zina left him in what is sometimes called a “folk divorce,” which was a thing in the 19th Century where the man and woman decided to dissolve their marriage and go their separate ways, leaving each of them free to marry again. She chose to marry Brigham for time, and Henry struggled to move on afterward...for a time. Brigham asked him to back off, and he did.

• Vilate Kimball

Shortly after Heber’s return from England, he was introduced to the doctrine of plural marriage directly through a startling test. He had already sacrificed homes, possessions, friends, relatives, all worldly rewards, peace, and tranquility for the Restoration. Nothing was left to place on the altar save his life, his children, and his wife. Then came the Abrahamic test. Joseph demanded for himself what to Heber was the unthinkable, his Vilate. Totally crushed spiritually and emotionally, Heber touched neither food nor water for three days and three nights and continually sought confirmation and comfort from God. On the evening of the third day, some kind of assurance came, and Heber took Vilate to the upper room of Joseph’s store on Water Street. The Prophet wept at this act of faith, devotion, and obedience. Joseph never intended to take Vilate. It was all a test.” (Heber C. Kimball, Mormon Patriarch and Pioneer by Stanley B. Kimball, p.93)

Yep, because blessings come after the trial of our faith. Heber and Vilate were sealed for time and eternity that same night as a reward for their faithfulness. Theirs was one of the very first sealings of this dispensation.

Teenagers: Ten of Joseph’s wives were teenagers.

Here, Faulk posts another little chart, which I have also linked.

• Helen Mar Kimball-Smith

Instead of taking Heber C. Kimball’s wife, Vilate, as Joseph had done with others, he married Heber’s 14 year-old daughter, Helen, in May of 1843.

This is presented somewhat disingenuously. Joseph and Helen were sealed two years after Heber and Vilate were sealed. The two incidents are not connected at all. And, as mentioned earlier, Joseph and Helen were sealed at Heber’s urging. He wanted to link his family to Joseph’s in the eternities.

“The youngest was Helen Mar Kimball, daughter of Joseph’s close friends Heber C. and Vilate Murray Kimball, who was sealed to Joseph several months before her 15th birthday.” (Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo, LDS.org, Oct. 2014)
In a letter written by Helen Kimball, her father had asked her if she would be willing to be sealed to Joseph Smith, Joseph himself came to her and said,
“If you will take this step, it will ensure your eternal salvation and exaltation & that of your father’s household & all of your kindred.” She talks of her mother’s hidden grief “to see her child, who had scarcely seen her fifteenth summer, following in the same thorny path [of polygamy].” “I would never have been sealed to Joseph had I known it was anything more than ceremony. I was young, and they deceived me, by saying the salvation of our whole family depended on it.” (Helen Mar Kimball, Mormon Polygamy: A History, by LDS Historian Richard S. Van Wagoner, p.53)

Ooh, this is super dishonest framing! The first two lines in quotation marks are indeed taken from an autobiographical letter written by Helen to her children in 1881. The first is from page 482 of a book titled A Woman’s View: Helen Mar Whitney’s Reminiscences of Early Church History, and the second from page 486.
But that third quotation, about how she’d never have been sealed to Joseph if she knew it was anything more than a ceremony? That’s taken from page 19 of an early anti-Mormon pamphlet called Narrative of Some of the Proceedings of the Mormons: Giving an Account of Their Iniquities by Catherine Lewis, published in 1848. She claimed to have heard Helen say this to her mother at some point, though everything in the book is suspect. It’s all pretty badly distorted from reality, which you can see for yourself just by reading it.
Helen herself certainly never backed up its claim. She did admit to being upset as a 15-year-old at being prevented from going out to dances with her friends because of the sealing, so it’s possible she said something like that at one point in her frustration and disappointment. But the circumstances surrounding it are certainly skewed, since Catherine reports it in the context of Helen refusing, after Joseph’s death, to be sealed for time as her father’s plural wife. That surely never happened. And in fact, after a few more years, Helen became a very vocal defender of plural marriage and of Joseph Smith for the rest of her life.
So, I’d take that statement with a very big grain of salt. That Faulk presents it here as if it was a direct quote from Helen’s own letter to her children is repulsive.

Joseph told a reluctant Helen Mar Kimball that if she married him it would ensure her salvation and the salvation of all her family. Imagine the burden on a 14 year old girl’s emotions of the salvation for her entire family riding on accepting Joseph’s proposal.

Except that Helen herself admitted that she didn’t understand what he was trying to teach her, and neither of her parents, who were there at the time of the proposal, understood it that way at all.

• Nancy Winchester Smith

While records show Nancy was married to Joseph, no dates were written. At the time of Joseph’s death, Nancy was 15 years old. It is possible that, like Helen Mar Kimball, Nancy could have been 14.

It’s not confirmed that Nancy Winchester was a plural wife of Joseph Smith, though evidence leans that way. We also have no idea when that sealing would have taken place, because no records of the sealing exist. We don’t know much about her at all. Her brother Benjamin was a known and rather hostile critic of Joseph’s who never mentioned the fact that they were sealed, so either he didn’t know about it, he didn’t see anything wrong with it (which is highly doubtful), or it never happened and her inclusion on the list was a mistake.
Eliza R. Snow listed her as one of his wives, and so did Orson Whitney, the son of Helen Mar Kimball Whitney. Helen was one of Nancy’s good friends so there’s solid evidence to believe it, but it’s not confirmed.

Unlike what is commonly taught in Sunday school lessons, marriages to young teenagers were not “common in pioneer days.”

Not true, and Faulk’s evidence for this claim doesn’t even say that:

“In 1890, when the U.S. Census Bureau started collecting marriage data, it was recorded that the average age of a first marriage for men was 26 years, and the average age of marriage for women was 22 years.” (http://classroom.synonym.com/agemarriage-us-1800s-23174.html)

Note that this quote says the average age was 22 years old. That means that some women were much older and some were much younger. 1890 is also half a century later than 1840, and society can change a lot in 50 years.
Craig Foster wrote a great article for the Interpreter a few years ago) which demonstrated that in frontier America in the 1800s, females often married quite young, and their husbands were usually older and more settled. It was much less common in the settled cities along the East Coast, but on the frontier (which included Ohio, Missouri, Illinois, and especially Utah), it was relatively common. Men in their 20s-40s marrying teenagers was not unusual.
Even today, it’s legal for teenagers to get married. Let’s not forget that most of Joseph’s teenaged wives were 17-19 years old. Many of us in this church know women who got married at 18 or 19. While they are technically still teenagers, calling them teen brides is implies that they were underage.
The entire concept of “underage” did not exist in the 1800s. In fact, the concept of “teenagers” didn’t even exist back then. You were either a child or an adult, and there was no in-between.
Applying our societal standards to a past society and judging them for their lack of adherence to our norms is a logical fallacy known as “presentism.” I get it—today, it’s unusual and it makes us squirm to hear of girls aged 14-16 getting married. But it was also not out of place in that day and age. And, most importantly, there is no evidence of any sexual activity between Joseph and his youngest wives.

3. Mothers and Daughters: Joseph married a mother and daughter pair.

• Patty Bartlett Sessions (Mother – already married to David Sessions)

She was sealed to Joseph for eternity while her husband was a faithful member of the Church, and though she and her husband both later received their endowment, they weren’t sealed at that time. She also didn’t re-seal herself to Joseph in the temple after his death the way that many of his other plural wives did. The reasons why are unclear. After her husband’s death, she was sealed for time to another man. Around 1867, after submitting an affidavit concerning her plural marriage to Joseph, she was offered the chance to be re-sealed to Joseph again, though I’m not sure if she accepted or not.
We don’t know the reasons for this sealing, just like we don’t know the reasons behind many of Joseph’s sealings to civilly married women.

• Sylvia Sessions Lyon (Daughter – already married to Windsor Lyon).

Windsor Lyon was excommunicated from the Church in November of 1842. Joseph and Windsor remained good friends for the rest of Joseph’s life. There are conflicting dates from two unsigned affidavits saying that Sylvia’s sealing to Joseph either took place in early 1842 or early 1843. Brian Hales favors the later date.
If he’s right, this appears to be one of those sealings where Joseph was sealed to a woman whose husband wasn’t (at the time) a faithful member of the Church so that she could still obtain exaltation.

Sylvia bore children with both husbands; three children with Windsor and one with Joseph. (Josephine - February 8, 1844)

No, no, no. She most certainly did not have a child with Joseph. For a long time, it was considered an unproven possibility, but was never definitive. However, even the possibility was ruled out by DNA testing in 2016, seven years ago.
The fact that this is still in the LFMW after all this time caught me by surprise. We know the LFMW has been updated since its first posting, since the original FAIR rebuttal addresses differently worded accusations. There was plenty of time to correct the inaccuracy. In fact, this particular objection appears to have been added to the original text, rather than removed.

4. Pairs of Sisters: Joseph married 3 pairs of sisters.

• Emily Dow Partridge and Eliza Maria Partridge.
  
• Sara Lawrence and Maria Lawrence.
  
• Zina Huntington Jacobs and Presidia Huntington Buell.
  

Yep, he sure did. Zina and Presendia (her name is not Presidia) were both sealed to Joseph for eternity only, with no marriage in this lifetime. But Emily and Eliza Partridge and Sarah and Maria Lawrence were all sealed to Joseph for time and eternity.
Again, though, I’m not sure why this is supposed to be a point of scandal. None of them were married against their will. They all had the choice, and they all agreed to these arrangements. Is it unusual? Sure. It’s weird, I think we can all agree with that. But is it sinful? Nope. When God commands polygamy, it’s not sinful, and levirate marriages have been around for thousands of years. This is somewhat similar to that practice, particularly in the case of Mary and Mercy Fielding and Hyrum Smith. Or, one could argue, between Zina Huntington and Brigham Young.
Remember, when plural marriage was first introduced, they weren’t really given a rule book. There are some directions and guidelines given in D&C 132, but they only cover certain situations. In the Nauvoo days, they were basically winging it. They had to adjust to the new commandment that completely upended their entire lives and then figure out the best way to live it. There was trial and error, heartache, sacrifice, and suffering involved. It was not easy for any of them, and they did the best they could. If they made mistakes, they need our grace, not our judgment.

I am very curious what these fat acceptance people on TikTok think about those on the show My 600 lb Life. They can't walk, breathe, or do anything. I've been watching the show to inspire me to not binge on junk food and to stay on my diet. I'm down 8 lbs so far.
I've also recently discovered Mukbangs on YouTube. I was shocked that that was a thing. It's terrible.